EP9: Parenting Without Help: Defiant Teens, Deadbeat Dads, and the Fight for Control
So What Now? with Carla and Dex
Release Date: 12/23/2024
So What Now? with Carla and Dex
Hey y’all, it’s Carla! My birthday’s coming up, and let’s just say I’ve been in my feelings. In this episode I shared how I’ve been mourning parts of my younger self and wishing I could go back and change a few things. Dex reminded me that aging isn’t just loss — it’s also growth and new beginnings, and honestly, I needed to hear that. We also unpacked a wild episode of Dear Future Wifey where a pastor’s wife said she used to iron her man’s clothes so he could go see his side chick. Yes, you read that right. She said it was her calling from God to support him — and...
info_outlineSo What Now? with Carla and Dex
Hey friend, it’s Dex, and we’re back with another episode of So What Now? — where the convos are deep, the laughs are loud, and the side-eyes are always earned. This week, we kicked things off with a little life catch-up. I ran a Hyrox race (yes, me — running, sweating, questioning my life choices), while Carla was out here being the hostess with the mostess for Easter. Deviled eggs were served, auntie gossip was flowing — it was fabulous. Then we got into that trending Traci Ellis Ross interview. Traci said, “I grieve the things that I thought would be and that are not.”...
info_outlineSo What Now? with Carla and Dex
Hey friends, it’s Carla and this week’s episode of So What Now was a whole mix of “wait, what?” and “absolutely not.” We kicked things off with Ayesha Howard, who recently responded to the backlash around her decision to keep her baby. And listen… her response didn’t move me. At all. I said what I said, and I still feel the same way. Then we got into this Florida city trying to roll out a 4-day school week, which sounds cool until you realize... parents still work 5. So who’s watching the kids on that fifth day? Make it make sense. Policies like this just make parenting even...
info_outlineSo What Now? with Carla and Dex
We made it to 25 episodes, y’all! Our little podcast baby is all grown up, and to celebrate, Carla and I decided to do something fun (and slightly chaotic): 25 questions to help you get to know us on a whole new level. No rules, barely any filters—just vibes, hot takes, and some lowkey oversharing. Carla went in on cancel culture, mental health, and the whole open relationship thing 👀. I opened up about monogamy, childhood stuff, and a few things I’ve been too scared to try (yet). It’s been a wild ride getting here, and whether you’ve been with us from day one or just hopped...
info_outlineSo What Now? with Carla and Dex
Hey Friend! Quick update: Carla’s allergies are finally under control, and I’m feeling better too—my back’s on the mend, so no more grandpa groans when I bend over. Small wins, y’all. Now, onto the episode. We dive into a topic that’s real for any of us with kids who split time between two homes—should children have their own bedroom at the non-custodial parent’s house? Carla, with her money grows on trees mentality, thinks it’s a must. Like, we all have the luxury of giving each kid their own room, right? But I’m out here saying, a kid can still feel welcome...
info_outlineSo What Now? with Carla and Dex
Hey Friend! First of all, let me just say Ozempic had me in a chokehold, and for what? We kicked off this episode talking about the shortcuts we’ve tried on the road to health and how most of them left us worse off than when we started. And yes, I fully admit I was out here thinking a shot would do what discipline and patience are supposed to. 😩 Meanwhile, Ruthie’s out here running half marathons like a champ, and our pastor had the nerve to call us out mid-sermon about our lifestyle choices. Rude but also accurate. Then we slid right into mom territory because whew, the judgment...
info_outlineSo What Now? with Carla and Dex
First of all, we are old. Like, what is happening?! My allergies are out here fighting for their life, and Dex’s back is giving up on her. If y’all have any remedies for allergies that don’t involve me living in a bubble, let me know because I am struggling. But let’s get into it—this week, we had a very heated debate over Ayesha Howard and Anthony Howard. Listen, I just have questions—like, is it okay to still be making major mistakes at 38 when choosing who to have a baby with? Because at some point, shouldn’t we be making better decisions? Meanwhile, Dex is over here...
info_outlineSo What Now? with Carla and Dex
Alright y’all, this week’s episode is a rollercoaster. First up, Carla has big feelings about Casey Anthony’s latest rebrand as a legal advocate. Yea, you read that right. And let’s just say, she has some thoughts. Then, we get into Gayle King going to space with Jeff Bezos’ wife. Carla thinks it’s cool. Me? Absolutely not. Why are rich people so obsessed with space? It’s not like you can actually get out and explore. Somebody make it make sense. And speaking of nonsense, Omarion is out here saying he doesn’t take women on dates—he takes them on gatherings. You know I’m...
info_outlineSo What Now? with Carla and Dex
Ooooh, friend, buckle up ‘cause this episode is packed with Aha! moments and truths that'll hit you straight in the chest. We had our second-ever guest, the fabulous Coach Netra, a lifestyle and nutrition coach who’s all about women’s health. And you KNOW we had a ton of questions for her. Now, who remembers when we could hit the gym for just a week in our 20s and come out snatched? Yeah, baby… those days are long gone. I’m over here tryna figure out why I crave chocolate around my cycle, and Carla’s out here wondering if it’s okay to keep breaking her water fast with a 7-Eleven...
info_outlineSo What Now? with Carla and Dex
Hey Friend! Its me, ! Whew, this episode was a ride! is officially a Cowboy Carter ticket holder (Beyhive, stand up!), and I’ve been auditing my top five closest people—we’ll see who makes it and who’s getting cut real quick. Our Woman of the Week is the one and only Joy Reid—because duh, she’s amazing and I really want her to win. And shameless plug, I’d LOVE to work with her!!! Meanwhile, Dex, who was supposed to be focused on creating this episodes outline, went down a whole Neyo rabbit hole (thank you, Shaderoom), and now we’re deep-diving into polyamory, parenting, and...
info_outlineThis week Carla, Dex are joined by Ariel B. The group dives into the complex world of parenting teens. As kids grow older, parenting styles and relationships need to shift, and the group explores how they are navigating these changes. Carla talks about her struggle with managing expectations, while Ariel reflects on the challenge of losing control as her children begin making their own decisions. The conversation touches on what happens when older kids break the rules, with Dex sharing her own experience of poor decision-making due to a lack of open communication with her parents. Carla and Ariel also reveal how their teens are turning to platforms like TikTok to express themselves when direct conversation feels too difficult.
The trio also revisits the story of Amora Lex, the 27-year-old single mother who recently gave up her five children to CPS. The group reflects on the harsh social media backlash she's received, particularly the blaming comments about her choices in men. This leads to a broader discussion on absentee parents, red flags when dating men who aren't involved in their children's lives, and the importance of building strong, supportive communities for women. Tune in for an insightful episode filled with real talk on motherhood, judgment, and how we can support one another.
SO WHAT NOW? TAKEAWAYS
Parenting Teens Requires Letting Go of Control: As children grow older, parents must adjust their approach. It's important to allow teens to make their own decisions—even when it’s hard.
Disobedience Isn’t Personal: Conflicts with teens often stem from a desire for control. Parents may take disobedience personally, but it's important to remember that teens are not thinking about how their actions affect their parents—they’re navigating their own path to independence.
The Stigma of Single Motherhood: The story of Amora Lex, who gave up her children to CPS, sparked harsh judgment online. The group discusses the need for compassion, understanding, and support for mothers, particularly those raising children without strong family or community support.
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