225 Navigating Autism and PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance, or Pervasive Drive for Autonomy)
Release Date: 01/09/2024
241 Attachment Wounds: When You Can't Work it out in the Moment
Unapologetically Sensitive
Attachment Wounds: When You Can’t Work It Out In The Moment Patricia reflects on her attachment wounds & something that happened with Jen. She emphasizes that the issue was not a rupture in her relationship, but rather her own trauma and wounding. She reassures listeners that they are doing fine & have navigated the situation with honesty & grace. Patricia also touches on the importance of doing personal work & finding others who are also committed to growth. She encourages listeners to embrace their sensitivity & prioritize their own needs and boundaries. ...
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240 Navigating Grief, Uncertainty & Travel Through the Lens of Attachment
Unapologetically Sensitive
Navigating Grief, Uncertainty & Travel Through the Lens of Attachment Patricia and Jen discuss navigating uncertainty and overwhelm, managing change and unexpected situations, balancing personal needs, the power of communication and validation, finding meaning and value in relationships, coping with anxiety and catastrophic thinking, choosing to assume the best, managing energy and boundaries, secure attachment and autonomy, dealing with uncertainty and seeking information, taking care of yourself in travel. They also reflect on their friendship CO-HOST Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC...
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239 Being “Too Much” is a Narrative that needs to be Re-examined
Unapologetically Sensitive
Being “Too Much” is a Narrative that needs to be Re-examined Summary Patricia discusses the wound of too much and how it can impact relationships. Too much is about BOTH people and the capacity of the other person. This is a narrative that needs to be reexamined, and the context of both people needs to be addressed. She explores the intersection of neurodivergence, trauma, and socialization. Patricia also explores the concept of rules, and how through an autistic lens, this can create some challenges. HIGHLIGHTS Takeaways The wound of feeling like...
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238 Learning to Trust Yourself and Finding Peace in Your Own Rhythm
Unapologetically Sensitive
Learning to Trust Yourself and Finding Peace in Your Own Rhythm Patricia discusses her experience when her husband is away. She shares her journey of managing attachment wounds, and the challenges of household responsibilities. Patricia also explores the impact of autistic burnout and ADHD on her ability to stay on top of things. She emphasizes the importance of honoring autonomy and considering others while maintaining a sense of self. Patricia concludes by encouraging listeners to trust themselves and find comfort in their own needs and wiring. HIGHLIGHTS Takeaways ...
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237 Unmasking & Authentic Communication: Navigating Differences in Relationships
Unapologetically Sensitive
Unmasking & Authentic Communication: Navigating Differences in Relationships Patricia and Jen discuss the challenges of unmasking and being authentic in relationships including the role of PDA (Pervasive Drive for Autonomy). They explore the narratives we have about ourselves and how they can impact our interactions with others. They also delve into the differences in communication styles and perspectives, and the importance of embracing who we are. The conversation highlights the need to navigate personal dynamics and self-reflection in order to foster understanding and growth. ...
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236 Exploring Neurodivergence in Relationships: Understanding Unique Perspectives
Unapologetically Sensitive
Exploring Neurodivergence in Relationships: Understanding Unique Perspectives In this conversation, Patricia and Jen discuss their struggles with linear content and their values of focusing on relational topics. They explore the challenges of staying true to their authentic selves while creating content. The conversation also delves into the dynamics of their relationship and the growth they have experienced in building trust and security, and things they sometimes find difficult to discuss. CO-HOST Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC HIGHLIGHTS Takeaways Staying...
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235 Red & Green Flags in Relationships
Unapologetically Sensitive
Red & Green Flags in Relationships Patricia discusses red flags and ideal qualities in relationships. She emphasizes the importance of honoring rhythms and self-care, as well as effective communication and conflict resolution. Patricia also addresses gaslighting, setting boundaries, and the significance of trust, honesty, and similar values in a relationship. She explores the impact of political differences and attachment wounds on a partnership. The episode concludes with a reminder to embrace sensitivity and prioritize self-care. HIGHLIGHTS Takeaways ...
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234 Navigating Miscommunication and Misunderstanding
Unapologetically Sensitive
Navigating Miscommunication and Misunderstanding Jen helps me process through a communication blip I had with my son. My husband & I have very different styles when talking to our boys, & I felt inadequate, and I sometimes struggle to attune. We talk about context when communicating, projection, who is a safe person to get angry at, & I talk about my own reactivity and confusion at my reaction. Jen reminds me that my family sticks with hard conversations. We also talk about having neuro-normative standards, & how that constantly leads to disappointment. ...
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233 Neurodivergence and Friendship: The Struggle is Real
Unapologetically Sensitive
Neurodivergence and Friendship: The Struggle is Real I talk about the challenges and complexities of friendships for neurodivergent folks, and the changing nature of friendships, the importance of reciprocity and communication. I discuss navigating difficult conversations, recognizing and addressing needs, and setting boundaries. I talk about the tendency to feel central in someone's life, and the challenges of accepting neurodivergence in relationships. I explore the importance of self-awareness, authenticity, and honoring one's own needs in relationships. HIGHLIGHTS ...
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232 The Importance of Rest & Learning to Receive & Ask for Help
Unapologetically Sensitive
The Importance of Rest & Learning to Receive & Ask for Help Patricia and Jen discuss their health updates and the challenges they have faced. They also delve into the pressure to be productive and the fear of not functioning. The conversation shifts to vulnerability and insecurity in relationships, as well as the process of learning to receive and ask for help. They reflect on the growth and healing that comes from navigating attachment wounds. The conversation concludes with a discussion on the significance of not always having to do deep work in therapy. CO-HOST ...
info_outlineNavigating Autism and PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance or Pervasive Drive for Autonomy)
I discuss being diagnosed Autistic with a PDA (pathological demand avoidance) profile. I express frustration with the DSM criteria for ADHD and autism, as I don’t see myself in the criteria. I highlight the common misdiagnosis of PDA as oppositional defiant disorder in children, emphasizing the need for a deeper understanding of neurodivergent experiences. I advocate a shift from viewing differences as deficits, and the importance of recognizing the unique perspectives of neurodivergent individuals.
HIGHLIGHTS
Summary
In this episode, Patricia shares her personal reflections on being diagnosed autistic and the challenges she faces with Pathological Demand Avoidance, (PDA). Patricia prefers Pervasive/Persistent Drive for Autonomy instead. She discusses the differences between autism and HSP (Highly Sensitive Person) and emphasizes the importance of understanding the lived experience of autism. Patricia also explores how PDA affects parenting and the need for low-demand environments. She reflects on her struggles with holiday traditions and the importance of self-acceptance and embracing stimming. Additionally, Patricia discusses the impact of seasonal changes and offers insights into managing PDA in daily life. She concludes with a book she enjoyed reading that has coded autistic characters in it.
Some of the challenges and awarenesses about being autistic and having a PDA profile:
· Patricia shares her frustration with the DSM criteria for ADHD and autism, as she does not see herself in the criteria. It was written for white boys who externalize their symptoms. Many late-diagnosed, high-masking folks tend to internalize their presentation, and they go undiagnosed and don’t see themselves in the criteria, which needs to be updated.
· Patricia emphasizes the importance of understanding the lived experience of neurodivergent individuals and the need to look at differences rather than deficits.
· She expresses her passion for wanting researchers and experts in the field of ADHD, autism, and HSP to work collaboratively to find commonalities.
· Patricia talks about the challenges of being formally diagnosed with autism and how it has led to a year of "Ahas."
· She shares insights into how PDA shows up in her life, including anticipating things that could go wrong and giving people permission to not respond.
Takeaways
Understanding the lived experience of autism is crucial for creating a supportive environment.
Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) also known as Pervasive/Persistent Drive for Autonomy, can be misdiagnosed as oppositional defiant disorder and is characterized by nervous system dysregulation.
Parents with PDA may face challenges in parenting neurodivergent children and may benefit from creating low-demand environments.
Embracing self-acceptance and allowing oneself to stim can lead to a greater sense of joy and freedom.
Seasonal changes can impact mood and energy levels, and it's important to listen to one's body and practice self-care.
Anticipating demands and setting boundaries can help manage PDA and reduce stress.
The book 'Lessons in Chemistry' features characters who are coded as autistic and explores themes of feminism and neurodiversity.
Chapters (please adjust times with the addition of the introduction)
00:00 Introduction and Personal Reflections
01:58 Understanding PDA and Autism
06:49 Challenges of Parenting with PDA
08:18 Navigating Holiday Traditions
16:08 Embracing Stimming and Self-Acceptance
17:32 Coping with Winter and Seasonal Changes
24:05 Managing PDA in Daily Life
27:31 Anticipating and Resisting Demands
28:52 Book Recommendation: Lessons in Chemistry
30:17 Closing Remarks and Invitation
PODCAST HOST
Patricia was a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, but is now exclusively providing coaching. She knows what it’s like to feel like an outcast, misfit, and truthteller. Learning about the trait of being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), then learning she is AuDHD (autistic and ADHD), with a PDA profile, helped Patricia rewrite her history with a deeper understanding, appreciation, and a sense of self-compassion. She created the podcast Unapologetically Sensitive to help other neurodivergent folks know that they aren’t alone, and that having a brain that is wired differently comes with amazing gifts, and some challenges. Patricia works online globally working individually with people, and she teaches Online Courses for HSPs that focus on understanding what it means to be an HSP, self-care, self-compassion, boundaries, perfectionism, mindfulness, communication, and creating a lifestyle that honors you
LINKS
HSP Online Course--https://unapologeticallysensitive.com/hsp-online-groups/
Online HSP Course Materials (no group included) https://patriciayounglcsw.com/product-category/hsp-classes/
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