247 Attachment: Self-Compassion, Recognizing & Healing Unblended Parts
Release Date: 06/11/2024
Unapologetically Sensitive
Taking a Podcast Break: Self-Acceptance & Self-Worth Patricia announces that she will be taking a break from the podcast. She discusses the challenges of OCD and attachment injuries in relationships and shares tools that have been helpful for her, such as identifying wants, needs, desires, and expectations. She also talks about the importance of rupture and repair work in therapy and coaching relationships. Patricia expresses gratitude to all the listeners, and emphasizes the importance of self-acceptance and self-worth. HIGHLIGHTS Takeaways Taking breaks...
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Attachment Injuries and OCD: The Healing Continues Summary Patricia discusses her experience with OCD and attachment injuries while Jen, is on vacation. She explores her fears and insecurities about asking for support and needing connection. Patricia reflects on the importance of consistent communication and creating containers to improve nervous system regulation. She also delves into her childhood experiences of feeling invisible and not belonging, and how this impacts current relationships. HIGHLIGHTS Takeaways ...
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Annoyance & Acceptance: Managing Emotions in Friendships Jen and Patricia discuss the importance of naming and accepting emotions, including annoyance, as well as the challenges of communication and managing expectations in their friendship. They share personal experiences and strategies for navigating difficult feelings, emphasizing the value of patience and trust in their conversations. They discuss concepts like nonviolent communication and the impact of attachment wounds on relationships. CO-HOST Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC HIGHLIGHTS Summary Patricia and Jen discuss...
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The Importance of Self-Regulation, Self-Compassion and Connection Patricia discusses her feelings of annoyance and disappointment when her scheduled recording with Jen is cancelled. The conversation highlights the complexities of managing emotions and maintaining healthy boundaries in relationships. She also discusses her experience of transitioning from an expansive state to a contractive state and the challenges that come with it. She talks about managing dysregulation, the impact of trauma work and OCD, and the importance of self-compassion. HIGHLIGHTS Summary Patricia...
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Navigating Reconnection after Rupture: Messiness Is a Healthy Part of Relationships Patricia and Jen discuss the challenges of reconnecting after a rupture in their relationship. They explore the fear of not being able to get back to normal and the desire for rupture and repair in significant relationships. They also discuss the importance of authenticity, setting boundaries, and being clear about needs and expectations. They touch on topics such as OCD, panic attacks, and the process of growth and transformation. CO-HOST Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC HIGHLIGHTS ...
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Taking up Space and Expressing Your Feelings is Important for Healing Attachment Injuries Patricia shares her experiences of her recent trip to Chicago. She discusses the challenges she faced in navigating changes in plans and the emotions that arose during her son's graduation from boot camp. Patricia also explores the importance of creating a secure attachment in her relationship with Jen and the need to ask for what she wants and needs with both Jen and her son. She emphasizes the significance of taking up space, expressing feelings, and finding support in managing attachment...
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Anger and Attachment: Navigating Different Neurotypes Within a Relationship Patricia and Jen explore the dynamics of attachment injuries, ADHD, and autism within their friendship. They explore the challenges of communication, time orientation, and emotional regulation. They touch on the concept of platonic life partnership and the challenges navigating different attachment styles and the impact of past trauma on present interactions. They discuss the importance of setting expectations, creating safe containers for communication, and validating each other's emotions. CO-HOST Jen...
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PDA & Empowering Autonomy: Navigating Uncertainty and Travel Preparation Patricia discusses her experiences with attachment injuries, being activated, anxiety, and preparing for travel. She shares insights into managing her emotions and navigating relationships through the lens of autism with a PDA profile. Patricia asserts her need for autonomy, feelings of powerlessness, and the challenges of managing uncertainty. Patricia also explores her experiences with OCD, hypervigilance, and the impact of early childhood trauma on her current behaviors and thought patterns. ...
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Friendships Paradigms: Monogamy and Polyamory and Platonic Partnerships Patricia discusses the concept of monogamy and polyamory in friendships and platonic partnerships. She explores how the traditional view of monogamy has a hierarchy when one person enters a romantic relationship. Neurodivergent folks often have closer friendships that are more like platonic partnerships. Patricia shares her insights on the importance of defining communication patterns and expectations in friendships. She also reflects on the challenges of permanence and attachment wounds in relationships. ...
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Attachment: Self-Compassion, Recognizing & Healing Unblended Parts Patricia and Jen discuss their personal experiences with attachment injuries and how it affects their relationship. They explore the challenges of communication and the impact of past traumas. Patricia shares insights from her recovery journey, drawing parallels between her eating disorder and her attachment struggles. They emphasize the importance of self-compassion and understanding in navigating these complex dynamics. The conversation concludes with a discussion on the value of conflict and the importance of...
info_outlineAttachment: Self-Compassion, Recognizing & Healing Unblended Parts
Patricia and Jen discuss their personal experiences with attachment injuries and how it affects their relationship. They explore the challenges of communication and the impact of past traumas. Patricia shares insights from her recovery journey, drawing parallels between her eating disorder and her attachment struggles. They emphasize the importance of self-compassion and understanding in navigating these complex dynamics. The conversation concludes with a discussion on the value of conflict and the importance of welcoming all parts of ourselves.
CO-HOST
Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC
HIGHLIGHTS
Summary
Patricia and Jen discuss the experience of being preoccupied with attachment injuries and how it affects their thoughts and behaviors. They explore the concept of being blended with certain parts and the importance of unblending to gain perspective. They also touch on the role of a catalyst in triggering attachment wounds and the process of healing and unblending. They emphasize the need for self-compassion and understanding when going through intense emotions and trauma work
Takeaways
· Attachment injuries can impact relationships and trigger past traumas.
· Communication can be challenging when attachment wounds are activated.
· Self-compassion and understanding are crucial in navigating attachment struggles.
· Recovery from past traumas requires self-reflection and self-awareness. Attachment injuries can lead to preoccupation with thoughts and behaviors related to the relationship.
· Being blended with certain parts can make it difficult to gain perspective and let go of preoccupations.
· The presence of a catalyst in triggering attachment wounds can provide an opportunity for healing and growth.
· Self-compassion and understanding are crucial when going through intense emotions and trauma work.
· Conflict can be seen as an opportunity for growth and understanding, rather than something negative or bad.
Sound Bites
"I'm actually doing really well. This is day four of feeling like I'm back to my grounded self."
"In the absence of having information and without a secure attachment, I made up a story in my head of like, you didn't even respond to this."
"Confidence is such a beautiful attribute sometimes, right? That I have the confidence that you have this."
"When I'm in a place where I'm struggling with my attachment injuries, I'm preoccupied about the thoughts that I have about you, where you are, where I am in the relationship."
"In IFS terms, we would say blended, right? When you're so completely blended, there's no other perspective."
"This preoccupied stuff is, oof, I mean, it can get so intense."
Chapters (please adjust for the addition of the introduction)
00:00 Introduction and Personal Updates
03:27 Parenting Challenges and Appreciation
05:10 Navigating Attachment Injuries and Communication Challenges
08:06 The Impact of Past Traumas on Relationships
11:25 Understanding the Complex Dynamics of Attachment
16:14 Articulating Experiences and Symbolic Communication
21:36 Blended Parts and Unblending
25:20 The Role of a Catalyst
29:59 Healing and Unblending
37:47 Conflict as an Opportunity
PODCAST HOST
Patricia was a Licensed Clinical Social Worker for over 17 years, but she is now exclusively providing coaching. She knows what it’s like to feel like an outcast, misfit, and truthteller. Learning about the trait of being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), then learning she is AuDHD with a PDA profile and RSD, helped Patricia rewrite her history with a deeper understanding, appreciation, and a sense of self-compassion. She created the podcast Unapologetically Sensitive to help other neurodivergent folks know that they aren’t alone, and that having a brain that is wired differently comes with amazing gifts, and some challenges. Patricia works online globally working individually with people, and she teaches Online Courses for neurodivergent folks that focus on understanding what it means to be a sensitive neurodivergent. Topics covered include: self-care, self-compassion, boundaries, perfectionism, mindfulness, communication, and creating a lifestyle that honors you
CO-HOST BIO
Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC has been a psychotherapist for 20 years. She specializes in helping Highly Sensitive People thrive in love, work, and parenting Highly Sensitive Children. Jen is passionate about using mindfulness and compassion-based approaches to ameliorate human suffering.
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