250 Anger & Attachment: Navigating Different Neurotypes Within a Relationship
Release Date: 07/02/2024
Unapologetically Sensitive
No Room for In-Between: Literal Thinking and Communication Ruptures In this raw and honest episode, Patricia (she/her) shares her ongoing challenges with neurodivergent miscommunication, community rupture, and the emotional toll of being misunderstood. From neighborhood conflicts to horse training lessons, from cancel culture to navigating friendships and travel as an autistic person, Patricia opens up about the messy, contradictory realities of life, belonging, and growth. Listeners will walk away feeling less alone in their struggles with relationships, self-advocacy, and embracing both...
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The Push-Pull of ADHD and Autism: Stretching Without Breaking In this candid conversation, Patricia Young (she/her) and B Lourenco (she/her) dive deep into the realities of living with ADHD, autism, and other forms of neurodivergence. They explore the push-pull between self-accommodation and stretching ourselves, how shame and internalized ableism impact daily life, and what it means to create realistic support systems at home, in relationships, and in the workplace. Expect raw honesty, relatable stories, and practical insights for navigating neurodivergent life. WHAT YOU’LL HEAR IN THIS...
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Rupture without Repair, and the Discomfort of Being Misunderstood In this deeply personal episode, Patricia (she/her) unpacks the fallout from a neighborhood rupture and the painful loss of community connection. Through the lens of being autistic and AuDHD, she explores rejection sensitivity, communication breakdowns, friendship trauma, and why repair isn’t always possible. She also shares how co-regulation, body doubling, Costco runs, and fierce family love provide grounding. This conversation is raw, tender, and validating for anyone who has struggled with being misunderstood...
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When ADHD Wants Adventure and Autism Just Wants a Nap Patricia (she/her) explores what it means to show up authentically as a neurodivergent person—especially when navigating the tension between wanting novelty (hello ADHD/AuDHD brains!) and craving sameness (thank you autism). She shares candid stories about celebrating her anniversary, managing low energy, social interactions, and dealing with conflict. Patricia also opens up about balancing autistic traits, ADHD novelty-seeking, PDA (persistent drive for autonomy), and honoring her sensitivity. If you’re autistic, ADHD, AuDHD, or...
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When the Dogs Stop Saying Hi: The Human Need for Connection and Belonging Patricia (she/her) explores the complexities of community, being perceived, and the challenges of navigating relationships amidst misunderstandings and cancel culture. She shares personal experiences of rupture and repair within her community, reflecting on the emotional impact of feeling excluded and the importance of acknowledging one's behavior in relationships. Patricia also highlights the simultaneous beauty of connections and celebrations, even amidst challenges, emphasizing the need for self-acceptance and...
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Disempowered to Empowered: Meltdowns, Boundaries & Donuts In this heartfelt episode, Patricia (she/her) shares three powerful personal stories that highlight the challenges—and wins—that come with being a sensitive, creative, neurodivergent human. From navigating family dynamics around living arrangements, to reclaiming power after a disempowering volunteer experience, and even exploring the emotional depth behind a simple craving for an apple fritter, Patricia offers an intimate and validating glimpse into what it's like to be an AuDHDer who feels things deeply—and still...
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Friendship, Boundaries, and Other Olympic Sports for Autistic Brains Patricia gets real about friendship challenges, navigating communication mismatches, and how OCD and autistic wiring can shape our relationship expectations. She shares a behind-the-scenes peek into her new podcast project, the insecurities that surfaced while collaborating with her co-host, and how unexpected moments of validation reminded her that what she brings to the table is more than enough. HIGHLIGHTS · Patricia plans to release the podcast bi-monthly to...
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Breaking Down Internalized Ableism Summary In this conversation, Patricia explores the concept of internalized ableism, particularly among neurodivergent individuals. She discusses how societal stigma and expectations can lead to negative self-perceptions and feelings of inadequacy. Patricia shares personal experiences and insights on how internalized ableism manifests in various aspects of life, including relationships, self-acceptance, and the pressure to conform to neurotypical standards. She emphasizes the importance of unlearning these hurtful beliefs and embracing one's...
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Some Challenges in Neurodivergent Communication Summary In this episode, Patricia discusses the challenges faced by AuDHDers and other neurodivergent individuals in communication, particularly regarding lack of responding to messages. She explores the concept of internalized ableism and how it affects self-perception and interactions. Patricia shares personal experiences and insights on the importance of flexibility in relationships and the need for authenticity in communication. The conversation emphasizes the struggles of neurodivergent individuals, including executive functioning...
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Coping and Prepatory Strategies for Overstimulating Situations Summary In this episode, Patricia discusses her experiences with content creation, coping strategies for overstimulation, and managing sensory sensitivities during significant life events like weddings. She shares insights on emotional preparation, adjusting to changes in family dynamics, and maintaining a healthy work-life balance to prevent burnout. Throughout the conversation, she emphasizes the importance of self-care, embracing imperfection, and recognizing the rights of individuals to rest and be themselves....
info_outlineAnger and Attachment: Navigating Different Neurotypes Within a Relationship
Patricia and Jen explore the dynamics of attachment injuries, ADHD, and autism within their friendship. They explore the challenges of communication, time orientation, and emotional regulation. They touch on the concept of platonic life partnership and the challenges navigating different attachment styles and the impact of past trauma on present interactions. They discuss the importance of setting expectations, creating safe containers for communication, and validating each other's emotions.
CO-HOST
Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC
HIGHLIGHTS
Summary
The conversation delves into the complexities of attachment wounds, communication styles, and emotional regulation within a friendship.
Takeaways
· The impact of attachment injuries, ADHD, and autism on communication and emotional regulation in friendships.
· The challenges of navigating differences in time orientation and managing expectations within a friendship.
· The concept of platonic life partnership and its relevance in fostering secure attachments and meaningful connections in friendships.
· Navigating attachment wounds and communication styles in friendships can be complex and challenging.
· Understanding the impact of past trauma on present interactions is crucial for building empathy and connection.
· Setting clear expectations and creating safe containers for communication can help navigate emotional triggers and attachment injuries in friendships.
· Validating each other's emotions and experiences is essential for building trust and understanding in a friendship.
Additional Takeaways:
- Understanding the importance of having important conversations and finding the right time for them.
- Exploring vulnerability and the fear of being misunderstood or perceived as angry.
- Acknowledging feelings of frustration and hopelessness in relationships.
- Validating the range of human emotions, including anger, and the need to express them fully.
- Reflecting on personal tendencies and vulnerabilities, such as attachment injuries.
- Recognizing the impact of dysregulation and expressing anger in a healthy manner.
- Navigating feelings of anger and the desire for mutual understanding in relationships.
- Balancing the need for connection with the challenges and pain of relationships.
- Embracing vulnerability and seeking growth through therapy and self-reflection.
- Learning to communicate effectively and manage difficult emotions in relationships.
- Exploring the complexities of attachment styles and their influence on behavior.
- Cultivating self-awareness and empathy towards oneself and others.
- Addressing past traumas and their effects on present relationships.
- Practicing self-care and setting boundaries to maintain emotional well-being.
- Embracing change and growth through ongoing self-reflection and therapy.
- Building resilience and coping strategies for navigating challenging emotions.
- Fostering healthy communication patterns and conflict resolution skills.
- Recognizing the importance of seeking support and guidance in times of emotional distress.
- Embracing authenticity and vulnerability as pathways to personal healing and growth.
- Encouraging listeners to engage in self-discovery and emotional exploration for personal development.
Sound Bites
"Having these conversations is important."
"I'm doing the best I can in my unmedicated, very sloppy way."
"Those are gonna be the labels that you're gonna have if you don't want the label."
"Navigating attachment wounds and communication styles in friendships can be complex and challenging."
"Understanding the impact of past trauma on present interactions is crucial for building empathy and connection."
"Setting clear expectations and creating safe containers for communication can help navigate emotional triggers and attachment injuries in friendships."
Chapters (please adjust for the addition of the introduction)
Chapters
00:00 Exploring Attachment Injuries and Gremlins in Friendship Dynamics
03:04 Understanding Time Orientation and Emotional Regulation in Relationships
08:20 Navigating Differences in Communication and Expectations
14:02 The Concept of Platonic Life Partnership and Friendship Dynamics
29:19 Understanding the Impact of Past Trauma on Present Interactions
39:22 Creating Safe Containers for Communication in Friendships
43:19 The Importance of Validating Emotions in Friendships
PODCAST HOST
Patricia was a Licensed Clinical Social Worker for over 17 years, but she is now exclusively providing coaching. She knows what it’s like to feel like an outcast, misfit, and truthteller. Learning about the trait of being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), then learning she is AuDHD with a PDA profile and RSD, helped Patricia rewrite her history with a deeper understanding, appreciation, and a sense of self-compassion. She created the podcast Unapologetically Sensitive to help other neurodivergent folks know that they aren’t alone, and that having a brain that is wired differently comes with amazing gifts, and some challenges. Patricia works online globally working individually with people, and she teaches Online Courses for neurodivergent folks that focus on understanding what it means to be a sensitive neurodivergent. Topics covered include: self-care, self-compassion, boundaries, perfectionism, mindfulness, communication, and creating a lifestyle that honors you
CO-HOST BIO
Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC has been a psychotherapist for 20 years. She specializes in helping Highly Sensitive People thrive in love, work, and parenting Highly Sensitive Children. Jen is passionate about using mindfulness and compassion-based approaches to ameliorate human suffering.
LINKS
Jen’s Links
Email: Jen@heartfulnessconsulting.com
Jen’s website: https://heartfulnessconsulting.com/
Patricia’s Links
Neurodivergent Online Course-- https://unapologeticallysensitive.com/neurodivergent-online-courses/
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