252 Navigating Reconnection after Rupture: Messiness is a Healthy Part of Relationships
Release Date: 07/16/2024
Unapologetically Sensitive
The Radical Neurodivergent Act of Stopping Before You’re Exhausted Patricia (she/her) shares what it’s like when life is actuall calm. Without drama or big stories to tell, she reflects on learning to honor her energy limits. Patricia talks about pacing physical activity, noticing the urge to push past fatigue, and practicing self-compassion when her body needs rest. She also shares everyday moments—from kayaking at sunrise to navigating workouts and dog walks—while exploring what it means for autistic and neurodivergent people to find the “sweet spot” between doing enough and...
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Yes, I Twisted My Ankle. Yes, I Peed a Little Patricia Young (she/her) explores how change— even neutral change — can feel dysregulating, especially for autistic and neurodivergent people. From shifting family schedules and unexpected travel changes to navigating awkward neighbor dynamics and social gray areas, she shares real-life examples of practicing flexibility instead of binary thinking. WHAT YOU’LL HEAR IN THIS EPISODE · Why neutral change can still feel deeply dysregulating · The nervous system impact of...
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Insurance Denials, Unexpected Connection Hacks and a Kitten with a Foot Fetish Patricia Young (she/her) shares a “mishmash” of real-time reflections on disappointment, expectations, nervous system shifts, and the everyday emotional intensity of being AuDHD. From insurance frustrations and PDA autonomy struggles to surprising connection hacks like a digital picture frame, Patricia explores what it means to be neurodivergent in a world full of unpredictability. This episode is a gentle reminder that big feelings are valid, connection can show up unexpectedly, and sensitivity is nothing to...
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Unbothered, Unmasked, and Still Showing Up: Why Neurodivergent People Do the Hard Things for Others Patricia Young (she/her) explores what it means to show up for others as an AuDHDer. She reflects on value-driven behavior, executive functioning challenges, internalized ableism, grief, rest, and the deep relief of living an “unbothered life.” Through personal stories about partnership, support, sensory overwhelm, initiation struggles, and authentic connection, this episode invites listeners to rethink productivity, compassion, and what real belonging looks like when we stop masking and...
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The Day My Nervous System Chose Violence (Internally) Patricia Young (she/her) explores what happens when big feelings meet medication changes, OCD spirals, and unmet needs. Through a vulnerable personal story about adjusting OCD medication, asking for support, and reacting more intensely than expected, Patricia reflects on autism, relational OCD, RSD, and trauma responses. She also discusses how to hold grief and joy at the same time, how to create meaning when life is profoundly unfair, and why it’s okay to share joy without making yourself smaller. This episode is a compassionate reminder...
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The Holidays: A Group Project My Nervous System Didn’t Agree To In this New Year’s episode, Patricia Young (she/her) explores why the holiday season can be especially challenging for autistic, ADHD, and AuDHD nervous systems. Through personal stories about gift giving, overstimulation, masking, PDA, rejection sensitivity, and the need for sameness and predictability, she unpacks how small changes and social expectations can quietly dysregulate neurodivergent people. The episode also includes updates on her purple hair and tattoo, reflections on attunement and fairness, and a gentle...
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Bold Moves: Purple Hair, a Tattoo, and No Take-Backs Patricia (she/her) reflects on what it really means to make bold moves—and how we talk to ourselves when those decisions don’t land the way we hoped. Through the very real experiences of dyeing her hair purple for the first time and getting a tattoo she isn’t sure she likes, she explores autistic decision-making, sensory overwhelm, masking, regret, and self-compassion. This episode is about reframing regret as information, honoring neurodivergent needs in the moment, and learning how to be kinder to ourselves when we take risks and...
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Keeping it Real During the Holidays: p.s. I Love the Grinch! Patricia (she/her) dives into the emotional and sensory whirlwind of navigating change as an AuDHDer during the holiday season. She unpacks the exhaustion that comes from shifting family dynamics, unpredictable routines, kitten chaos, people coming and going, and the desire to show up with more capacity than she actually has. Patricia speaks candidly about shutdowns, resentment, communication misfires and boundary-setting. This episode invites listeners to honor their own wiring, acknowledge their limits, and give themselves...
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Boring Means Stable: Learning to Love Ordinary Days In this honest, meandering, and heart-centered solo episode, Patricia Young (she/her) opens up about feeling “not enough,” while navigating overwhelm, managing PDA (Pervasive Drive for Autonomy. From decluttering and kayaking to the quiet comfort of boring days and the challenges of social invitations, Patricia invites listeners into the gentle, nonlinear process of living authentically as an AuDHDer. With humor and tenderness, she explores aging, family connection, holidays, and what it means to find peace amid imperfection. WHAT...
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No Room for In-Between: Literal Thinking and Communication Ruptures In this raw and honest episode, Patricia (she/her) shares her ongoing challenges with neurodivergent miscommunication, community rupture, and the emotional toll of being misunderstood. From neighborhood conflicts to horse training lessons, from cancel culture to navigating friendships and travel as an autistic person, Patricia opens up about the messy, contradictory realities of life, belonging, and growth. Listeners will walk away feeling less alone in their struggles with relationships, self-advocacy, and embracing both...
info_outlineNavigating Reconnection after Rupture: Messiness Is a Healthy Part of Relationships
Patricia and Jen discuss the challenges of reconnecting after a rupture in their relationship. They explore the fear of not being able to get back to normal and the desire for rupture and repair in significant relationships. They also discuss the importance of authenticity, setting boundaries, and being clear about needs and expectations. They touch on topics such as OCD, panic attacks, and the process of growth and transformation.
CO-HOST
Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC
HIGHLIGHTS
Summary
In this conversation, Patricia and Jen discuss their current emotional states and the challenges they are facing. They explore topics such as discomfort, identity, accuracy in sharing personal experiences, and the process of unmasking. They also touch on the importance of honoring individual processes and the impact of communication and responsiveness in relationships. Patricia shares her experiences with OCD and the need for connection, while Jen reflects on the need for self-care and exploring new directions. Overall, the conversation highlights the importance of self-awareness, authenticity, and growth.
Takeaways
· Honor your own process and don't feel pressured to share or show up in a certain way.
· Recognize the impact of communication and responsiveness in relationships.
· Embrace self-awareness and explore new directions for personal growth.
· Practice authenticity and unmasking to find joy and connection. Reconnecting after a rupture in a relationship can be challenging and may require starting over to rebuild the connection.
· Fear of not being able to get back to normal after a rupture is common, but rupture and repair are a natural part of significant relationships.
· Authenticity, setting boundaries, and clear communication about needs and expectations are essential for maintaining healthy relationships.
· It is important to recognize and manage conditions like OCD and panic attacks, and to seek support and self-care when needed.
· Growth and transformation in relationships require navigating uncertainty and being open to change.
Sound Bites
· "Hey, Patricia, that feels like a trick question these days."
· "I'm feeling a little uncomfortable."
· "I get excited that we're willing to talk about some of the things that are difficult."
· "But it's not like when I reconnect with you, I go oh, we're connected. It's like I lose that and we almost have to start over again for me to get that connection."
· "The if onlys, right? The if only we do this right, then we're never gonna have to do it again."
Chapters (please adjust for the addition of the introduction)
00:00 Introduction and Expressing Discomfort
03:02 Navigating Identity and Accuracy in Sharing
07:58 The Impact of Communication and Responsiveness
11:52 Embracing Self-Awareness and Exploring New Directions
23:38 Reconnecting After Rupture
28:22 Authenticity and Setting Boundaries in Relationships
30:15 Managing Conditions like OCD and Panic Attacks
32:20 The Process of Growth and Transformation in Relationships
PODCAST HOST
Patricia was a Licensed Clinical Social Worker for over 17 years, but she is now exclusively providing coaching. She knows what it’s like to feel like an outcast, misfit, and truthteller. Learning about the trait of being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), then learning she is AuDHD with a PDA profile and RSD, helped Patricia rewrite her history with a deeper understanding, appreciation, and a sense of self-compassion. She created the podcast Unapologetically Sensitive to help other neurodivergent folks know that they aren’t alone, and that having a brain that is wired differently comes with amazing gifts, and some challenges. Patricia works online globally working individually with people, and she teaches Online Courses for neurodivergent folks that focus on understanding what it means to be a sensitive neurodivergent. Topics covered include: self-care, self-compassion, boundaries, perfectionism, mindfulness, communication, and creating a lifestyle that honors you
CO-HOST BIO
Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC has been a psychotherapist for 20 years. She specializes in helping Highly Sensitive People thrive in love, work, and parenting Highly Sensitive Children. Jen is passionate about using mindfulness and compassion-based approaches to ameliorate human suffering.
LINKS
Diane Poole-Heller: https://dianepooleheller.com/
Jen’s Links
Email: Jen@heartfulnessconsulting.com
Jen’s website: https://heartfulnessconsulting.com/
Patricia’s Links
Neurodivergent Online Course-- https://unapologeticallysensitive.com/neurodivergent-online-courses/
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