252 Navigating Reconnection after Rupture: Messiness is a Healthy Part of Relationships
Release Date: 07/16/2024
Unapologetically Sensitive
Bold Moves: Purple Hair, a Tattoo, and No Take-Backs Patricia (she/her) reflects on what it really means to make bold moves—and how we talk to ourselves when those decisions don’t land the way we hoped. Through the very real experiences of dyeing her hair purple for the first time and getting a tattoo she isn’t sure she likes, she explores autistic decision-making, sensory overwhelm, masking, regret, and self-compassion. This episode is about reframing regret as information, honoring neurodivergent needs in the moment, and learning how to be kinder to ourselves when we take risks and...
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Keeping it Real During the Holidays: p.s. I Love the Grinch! Patricia (she/her) dives into the emotional and sensory whirlwind of navigating change as an AuDHDer during the holiday season. She unpacks the exhaustion that comes from shifting family dynamics, unpredictable routines, kitten chaos, people coming and going, and the desire to show up with more capacity than she actually has. Patricia speaks candidly about shutdowns, resentment, communication misfires and boundary-setting. This episode invites listeners to honor their own wiring, acknowledge their limits, and give themselves...
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Boring Means Stable: Learning to Love Ordinary Days In this honest, meandering, and heart-centered solo episode, Patricia Young (she/her) opens up about feeling “not enough,” while navigating overwhelm, managing PDA (Pervasive Drive for Autonomy. From decluttering and kayaking to the quiet comfort of boring days and the challenges of social invitations, Patricia invites listeners into the gentle, nonlinear process of living authentically as an AuDHDer. With humor and tenderness, she explores aging, family connection, holidays, and what it means to find peace amid imperfection. WHAT...
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No Room for In-Between: Literal Thinking and Communication Ruptures In this raw and honest episode, Patricia (she/her) shares her ongoing challenges with neurodivergent miscommunication, community rupture, and the emotional toll of being misunderstood. From neighborhood conflicts to horse training lessons, from cancel culture to navigating friendships and travel as an autistic person, Patricia opens up about the messy, contradictory realities of life, belonging, and growth. Listeners will walk away feeling less alone in their struggles with relationships, self-advocacy, and embracing both...
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The Push-Pull of ADHD and Autism: Stretching Without Breaking In this candid conversation, Patricia Young (she/her) and B Lourenco (she/her) dive deep into the realities of living with ADHD, autism, and other forms of neurodivergence. They explore the push-pull between self-accommodation and stretching ourselves, how shame and internalized ableism impact daily life, and what it means to create realistic support systems at home, in relationships, and in the workplace. Expect raw honesty, relatable stories, and practical insights for navigating neurodivergent life. WHAT YOU’LL HEAR IN THIS...
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Rupture without Repair, and the Discomfort of Being Misunderstood In this deeply personal episode, Patricia (she/her) unpacks the fallout from a neighborhood rupture and the painful loss of community connection. Through the lens of being autistic and AuDHD, she explores rejection sensitivity, communication breakdowns, friendship trauma, and why repair isn’t always possible. She also shares how co-regulation, body doubling, Costco runs, and fierce family love provide grounding. This conversation is raw, tender, and validating for anyone who has struggled with being misunderstood...
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When ADHD Wants Adventure and Autism Just Wants a Nap Patricia (she/her) explores what it means to show up authentically as a neurodivergent person—especially when navigating the tension between wanting novelty (hello ADHD/AuDHD brains!) and craving sameness (thank you autism). She shares candid stories about celebrating her anniversary, managing low energy, social interactions, and dealing with conflict. Patricia also opens up about balancing autistic traits, ADHD novelty-seeking, PDA (persistent drive for autonomy), and honoring her sensitivity. If you’re autistic, ADHD, AuDHD, or...
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When the Dogs Stop Saying Hi: The Human Need for Connection and Belonging Patricia (she/her) explores the complexities of community, being perceived, and the challenges of navigating relationships amidst misunderstandings and cancel culture. She shares personal experiences of rupture and repair within her community, reflecting on the emotional impact of feeling excluded and the importance of acknowledging one's behavior in relationships. Patricia also highlights the simultaneous beauty of connections and celebrations, even amidst challenges, emphasizing the need for self-acceptance and...
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Disempowered to Empowered: Meltdowns, Boundaries & Donuts In this heartfelt episode, Patricia (she/her) shares three powerful personal stories that highlight the challenges—and wins—that come with being a sensitive, creative, neurodivergent human. From navigating family dynamics around living arrangements, to reclaiming power after a disempowering volunteer experience, and even exploring the emotional depth behind a simple craving for an apple fritter, Patricia offers an intimate and validating glimpse into what it's like to be an AuDHDer who feels things deeply—and still...
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Friendship, Boundaries, and Other Olympic Sports for Autistic Brains Patricia gets real about friendship challenges, navigating communication mismatches, and how OCD and autistic wiring can shape our relationship expectations. She shares a behind-the-scenes peek into her new podcast project, the insecurities that surfaced while collaborating with her co-host, and how unexpected moments of validation reminded her that what she brings to the table is more than enough. HIGHLIGHTS · Patricia plans to release the podcast bi-monthly to...
info_outlineNavigating Reconnection after Rupture: Messiness Is a Healthy Part of Relationships
Patricia and Jen discuss the challenges of reconnecting after a rupture in their relationship. They explore the fear of not being able to get back to normal and the desire for rupture and repair in significant relationships. They also discuss the importance of authenticity, setting boundaries, and being clear about needs and expectations. They touch on topics such as OCD, panic attacks, and the process of growth and transformation.
CO-HOST
Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC
HIGHLIGHTS
Summary
In this conversation, Patricia and Jen discuss their current emotional states and the challenges they are facing. They explore topics such as discomfort, identity, accuracy in sharing personal experiences, and the process of unmasking. They also touch on the importance of honoring individual processes and the impact of communication and responsiveness in relationships. Patricia shares her experiences with OCD and the need for connection, while Jen reflects on the need for self-care and exploring new directions. Overall, the conversation highlights the importance of self-awareness, authenticity, and growth.
Takeaways
· Honor your own process and don't feel pressured to share or show up in a certain way.
· Recognize the impact of communication and responsiveness in relationships.
· Embrace self-awareness and explore new directions for personal growth.
· Practice authenticity and unmasking to find joy and connection. Reconnecting after a rupture in a relationship can be challenging and may require starting over to rebuild the connection.
· Fear of not being able to get back to normal after a rupture is common, but rupture and repair are a natural part of significant relationships.
· Authenticity, setting boundaries, and clear communication about needs and expectations are essential for maintaining healthy relationships.
· It is important to recognize and manage conditions like OCD and panic attacks, and to seek support and self-care when needed.
· Growth and transformation in relationships require navigating uncertainty and being open to change.
Sound Bites
· "Hey, Patricia, that feels like a trick question these days."
· "I'm feeling a little uncomfortable."
· "I get excited that we're willing to talk about some of the things that are difficult."
· "But it's not like when I reconnect with you, I go oh, we're connected. It's like I lose that and we almost have to start over again for me to get that connection."
· "The if onlys, right? The if only we do this right, then we're never gonna have to do it again."
Chapters (please adjust for the addition of the introduction)
00:00 Introduction and Expressing Discomfort
03:02 Navigating Identity and Accuracy in Sharing
07:58 The Impact of Communication and Responsiveness
11:52 Embracing Self-Awareness and Exploring New Directions
23:38 Reconnecting After Rupture
28:22 Authenticity and Setting Boundaries in Relationships
30:15 Managing Conditions like OCD and Panic Attacks
32:20 The Process of Growth and Transformation in Relationships
PODCAST HOST
Patricia was a Licensed Clinical Social Worker for over 17 years, but she is now exclusively providing coaching. She knows what it’s like to feel like an outcast, misfit, and truthteller. Learning about the trait of being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), then learning she is AuDHD with a PDA profile and RSD, helped Patricia rewrite her history with a deeper understanding, appreciation, and a sense of self-compassion. She created the podcast Unapologetically Sensitive to help other neurodivergent folks know that they aren’t alone, and that having a brain that is wired differently comes with amazing gifts, and some challenges. Patricia works online globally working individually with people, and she teaches Online Courses for neurodivergent folks that focus on understanding what it means to be a sensitive neurodivergent. Topics covered include: self-care, self-compassion, boundaries, perfectionism, mindfulness, communication, and creating a lifestyle that honors you
CO-HOST BIO
Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC has been a psychotherapist for 20 years. She specializes in helping Highly Sensitive People thrive in love, work, and parenting Highly Sensitive Children. Jen is passionate about using mindfulness and compassion-based approaches to ameliorate human suffering.
LINKS
Diane Poole-Heller: https://dianepooleheller.com/
Jen’s Links
Email: Jen@heartfulnessconsulting.com
Jen’s website: https://heartfulnessconsulting.com/
Patricia’s Links
Neurodivergent Online Course-- https://unapologeticallysensitive.com/neurodivergent-online-courses/
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Music-- Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson www.andyrobinson.com