#140 - ENCORE - Rest, Don't Quit
Beyond Bitchy: Mastering the Art of Boundaries
Release Date: 06/30/2021
#143 - 4 Essentials for Mastering Boundaries (Part II)
Beyond Bitchy: Mastering the Art of Boundaries
Last week, I talked about the first two of the four essentials for mastering boundaries: “Who’s Got the Power?” and “Stinkin’ Thinkin’.” (If these don’t sound familiar, I recommend going back to listen to Episode 142.) This week, I’ll cover the third and fourth essentials: “Live and Let Live,” and “Change (So That I Can Feel Better).”
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#142 - 4 Essentials for Mastering Boundaries (Part I)
Beyond Bitchy: Mastering the Art of Boundaries
I’m lucky enough to have been able to give myself the gift of a 27-day sabbatical, which gave me so much clarity into both my personal and professional life. And now that I’m back, I’m inspired to offer some insight about the four common challenges I see across all sorts of boundary questions in various situations. I’ll cover the first two challenges today, and the third and fourth next week.
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#141 - Are Boundaries a Sign of Disapproval?
Beyond Bitchy: Mastering the Art of Boundaries
People have a lot of misconceptions about boundaries. You may hear people say that boundaries are harsh, rigid, a punishment, or even selfish. Some people even believe that sharing boundaries is a way to control others or tell them what to do. Recently, I’ve heard another misconception: setting a boundary with someone is a sign that you disapprove of them. Tune in to learn why this isn’t the case, and how your boundaries are all about you.
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#140 - ENCORE - Rest, Don't Quit
Beyond Bitchy: Mastering the Art of Boundaries
Lately, have you noticed a sense of collective exhaustion, sadness, and impatience? Right now, it may feel like there’s not a lot to celebrate. This is especially true with the holidays coming up, since they're going to look much different than usual this year. With everything going on, you might feel like you want to quit, because what’s the point? If this resonates with you, it may be time for you to take a rest. Tune in to learn what this may look like for you.
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#139 - ENCORE - Extreme Self-Care and Boundaries
Beyond Bitchy: Mastering the Art of Boundaries
At some point, all of us will have experiences that require us to focus our attention on ourselves in an intense way. For example, an advanced cancer diagnosis, an accident, or shocking news may require you to go into extreme self-care. This is the kind of self-care I’ve been practicing for the last several weeks, and why there was a gap between Episode #49 and #50. I’m so glad to be back!
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#138 - ENCORE - Rest, Rejuvenation, & Boundaries
Beyond Bitchy: Mastering the Art of Boundaries
Today’s episode is all about rest, rejuvenation, and boundaries, which absolutely relate to one another! I’ll explain why rest is so important and why it’s so difficult to unplug in our uber-connected, device saturated world. I’ll also give you some tips on how to truly rest and enter into states of being rather than doing, and why rest is crucial for health, creativity, and even productivity.
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#137 - Trade Your Triangles for Straight Lines
Beyond Bitchy: Mastering the Art of Boundaries
Are you ready to trade your triangles for straight lines? Don’t worry, you’re not back in geometry class; this is actually related to the talking boundary. Triangulation is something that we do all the time, but we should all work toward straightening out those lines and practicing direct communication whenever possible. (There are a few notable exceptions, which I’ll also address in this episode.)
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#136 - When Someone You Love Is in Danger
Beyond Bitchy: Mastering the Art of Boundaries
People in your life may be facing a variety of dangers, from mental health issues or suicidal urges to addiction or unsafe behavior. But today, I’ll focus on a specific type of danger: physically or sexually abusive relationships. It’s painful to know (or suspect) that a loved one is in a relationship like this, but it’s also tough to know what to do. I’ll give you some specific advice on how to proceed—and what to avoid doing.
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#135 - When Your Ex Doesn't Behave
Beyond Bitchy: Mastering the Art of Boundaries
Before we start, I’d like to offer you a quick apology! You may not have been able to find the earliest episodes of the show because of a mistake in the podcast settings on the back end. That’s fixed now, and you should be able to access all of the episodes again. And now, onto today’s subject! If you have an ex, especially if you’re co-parenting with them, I’m guessing you’ve had a problem with your ex misbehaving. So what do you do? Tune in to find out!
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#134 - Using the Talking Format (Part 3 of a Deeper Dive Into the Talking Boundary)
Beyond Bitchy: Mastering the Art of Boundaries
Are you ready for the third part of my series on the talking boundary? This one is all about a specific process from the work of Pia Mellody: the Talking Format. This strategy is a roadmap around how to share information with another person, and is ideal for challenging conversations. If you’ve ever found yourself struggling with how to express yourself effectively in a difficult interpersonal situation, don’t miss this episode!
info_outlineLately, have you noticed a sense of collective exhaustion, sadness, and impatience? Right now, it may feel like there’s not a lot to celebrate. This is especially true with the holidays coming up, since they're going to look much different than usual this year. With everything going on, you might feel like you want to quit, because what’s the point? If this resonates with you, it may be time for you to take a rest. Tune in to learn what this may look like for you.
Biggest Takeaways From Episode #113:
- At this time, it’s normal to feel exhausted or depleted. When you feel like quitting something that has brought you joy or will bring you joy in the future, take the time to find ways to rest rather than quit.
- Quitting may look like anything from not putting up a tree or holiday decorations this year, dropping out of school, or leaving a relationship.
- What’s causing you to want to quit? That may be the thing that you need to take a rest from. This may be watching the news—or even spending too much time thinking about things that put you in a state of fear.
- It can be valuable to let yourself consider quitting, or envision what quitting would look like, because this may help point you to how you can rest instead of quit.
Highlights from Episode #113:
- Vicki welcomes listeners to the show and introduces today’s topic, which was inspired by a workshop she attended last week. She then offers some valuable advice about Zoom meetings. [00:39]
- We hear about Vicki’s sense of witnessing collective exhaustion and impatience, and how that relates to this episode. [05:45]
- Vicki offers some examples of what it looks like to rest rather than quit, ranging from quitting school to leaving a relationship. [10:55]
- We often keep relationships going in our minds even after they’re over. Vicki gives a recommendation about getting in alignment with what you truly want. [19:12]
- The most tragic example of choosing quitting over resting is the decision to take one’s own life. If you’re feeling this way, please find someone to talk to right now. At a minimum, figure out how to take a rest to see if there’s another option for you. [22:49]
- Vicki shares some final words of advice on why it’s so important to find ways to rest. [27:40]
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