LLS | Accountability Vs. Boundaries: How to Hold People Accountable Without Burning Bridges

Wellness + Wisdom: Liberated Life Series | Episode 741

Wellness + Wisdom Podcast Host, Josh Trent, and the Liberated Life Series Co-Host, Mar, reveal the secrets to accountability and boundary enforcement without shame or anger, drawing on nonviolent communication and the “rule of three”, and how emotional regulation and clear communication can guide you to practice boundaries in a way that fosters deeper connection and self-trust, no matter how challenging your relationships might be.

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Listen To Episode 741 As Josh Trent Uncovers:

[00:00] Introduction to Accountability + Boundaries

• The essence of accountability.
• Boundaries are essential for self-love and healthy relationships.
• How much responsibility do we have to hold others accountable?
• Fear often prevents people from enforcing boundaries; fear is reframed as 'false evidence appearing real.'

[03:45] Setting + Practicing Boundaries

• Boundaries are first set, then practiced; self-regulation and self-accountability are key.
• Letting go of the fear of 'burning bridges' is crucial when enforcing boundaries.
• Boundaries should be communicated clearly, especially in family and intimate relationships, where they are often hardest to enforce.
• Practicing boundaries with strangers or in low-stakes situations helps build skill and courage.

[07:20] Learning from Broken Boundaries + Pain

• Pain from broken boundaries teaches self-love and integration.
• Rigid boundaries may block love and growth; flexibility and self-trust are needed.
• Repeated lessons occur until boundaries are internalized and enforced naturally without fear or anger.

[09:45] Nonviolent Communication + Boundary Enforcement

• Boundaries can be enforced without shame or anger, using curiosity and dialogue.
• Public and private boundary enforcement share the same principles: identify the breach, ask questions, and seek shared outcomes.
• Role-play example demonstrates the 'rule of three' for boundary communication: verbalize the breach, bring curiosity, and co-create a result.
• Adding emotional context (how it makes you feel) enhances understanding and connection.

[19:35] Emotional Regulation + Honesty

• Breath and presence are essential for emotional regulation during boundary conversations.
• Triggers are opportunities for growth; honesty about feelings creates clarity and speed in resolving issues.
• Slowing down communication and being honest about triggers or fears leads to better outcomes.
• Honesty is the foundation for clarity, which in turn enables faster resolution and connection.

[24:40] Attachment Styles + the Path to Peace

• Speed in resolving conflict is a universal human desire, but true speed comes from honesty and clarity, not rushing.
• Attachment styles (anxious and avoidant) influence how people approach boundaries and connection.
• Sitting in honesty and clarity helps both attachment styles achieve harmony and connection quickly.
• Awareness is the starting point for all personal growth and boundary work; the series aims to nourish all aspects of self (mental, physical, emotional, spiritual, financial).

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Links From Today's Show 

• 732 Stop Living Someone Else's Life: How to Break Free from The Hidden Scripts Controlling You | Anne-Laure Le Cunff
• Tiny Experiments by Anne-Laure Le Cunff
• 512 Alison Armstrong: Unconscious Emasculation, What Women Don’t Understand About Men + How To Get The Love You Want
• Somatic Breathwork
• 686 Mark Groves | Your Triggers Are Your Teachers: How To Answer The Call of Self-Mastery In Relationships + Life
• Joe Stolte
• 548 Dr. Stan Tatkin | Healing Toxic Relationships: What’s The Bite That Fits Each Other’s Wounds?

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