Marc Gafni | Why Soulmate Relationships Don't Work: The Secret Whole Mate Code to Cosmic Love

Wellness + Wisdom | Episode 746

Are you ready to reconfigure your past and reimagine humanity’s future through the power of outrageous love?

Visionary Philosopher Marc Gafni joins Josh Trent on the Wellness + Wisdom Podcast, episode 746, to guide you from mythic narratives of soul mates to the co-creative vision of whole mates: evolutionary partners in service of the cosmos. Learn how the gift of suffering becomes the pathway to transcendence, why raising children is a spiritual act of embodiment, and how solving humanity’s value crisis can spark a galactic awakening.

"Soulmate relationships don't work. They're insufficient. If a couple is not looking at a shared horizon and they are only looking deeply in each other's eyes, it will not work. Whole mates are not just looking deeply in each other's eyes. They're first looking at a shared horizon, a shared mission. They're looking at the whole. They're in a relationship to the whole. And then from there, they turn back and look at each other." - Marc Gafni

In This Episode, Marc Gafni Uncovers:

[01:20] Outrageous Love

• Marc Gafni
• Why 'I love you' is our sacred creed.
• How facing death puts us in our visceral truth.
• Why we've lost connection to the meaning of 'I love you.'
• The difference between ordinary love and outrageous love.
• How love allows us to give our unique gifts.
• When we're in love, we feel welcome in the cosmos.
• Why reality is not a fact but an outrageous love story.
• How reality is generated.

[09:50] What Is Evolution?

• Whole Mate by Marc Gafni
• The three levels of knowing.
• How we get lost in the complexity, which blocks us from seeing the depth.
• Every place we've been, we needed to be.
• Why every detour is part of the destination.
• How reality has mathematical, musical, molecular, metabolic, moral, and mystical values.
• Why reality is movement towards transformation.
• Evolution is love in action in response to need.
• How becoming what reality intended us to be, divinity experiences self-recognition through us.
• If we don't have the experience that we matter, our mind, heart, and body break down.

[20:20] The Three Faces of God

• Why the God we don't believe in doesn't exist.
• The importance of the word 'God.'
• Why outrageous love is not a response to another person but the love that moves through us.
• The three faces of God: first, second, and third person.
• Neil deGrasse Tyson
• How religions show the faces of God.

[29:50] New World

• Why we're in a time between worlds.
• How 40% of AI researchers believe that AI could destroy all humanity.
• 692 Paul Chek | Spirit Gym: How To Find The Truth of Your Soul + Live Your Dream
• How we can create a new story of values for the world.

[35:45] Divine Loneliness

• Why God is lonely.
• How we need separation to create intimacy.
• What it means to be lonely.
• How Marc's son made him see the human singularity.
• The importance of knowing our soul print.
• How we cover up our emptiness by getting our attention hijacked.
• Why we need to sit in loneliness in order to fill up with our soul print.
• The divine is being, spaciousness, and becoming.
• Why evolution is a love story of the universe.
• How wholeness comes from brokenness.

[47:25] Pseudo-Eros + Shame

• Why pornography is pseudo-Eros.
• How pornography is explicit sexuality taken out of the context of a story.
• Why our relationship to essence is always sensual.
• How our shame tells a story that we're wrong.
• Why a great saint makes new mistakes.
• The meaning of the word 'hallelujah.'

[56:10] From Soul Mate to Whole Mate

• Why soulmate relationships don't work.
• Evolution of Love from Quarks to Culture by Marc Gafni, Zak Stein + Elena Levin
• Why reality is evolution, relationships, and the evolution of relationships.
• How crisis drives evolution, and the movement is an evolution of relationships.
• The evolution from role mate to soul mate to whole mate.
• The Boy Crisis by Warren Farrell + John Gray
• How each one of us has a role within a relationship in order to survive and thrive.
• Love Story (1970)

[01:11:50] How Movies Tell The Story of Reality

• How the Matrix movie displays a whole mate relationship.
• The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman
• Why Mars and Venus Collide by John Gray
• Getting The Love You Want by Harville Hendrix
• How love replaced our values.
• Why sexuality is not personal but universal.
• The importance of having a shared vision as a couple.
• Social Physics by Alex Pentland
• Why most children don't believe in love anymore.
• Sapiens by Harari Yuval Noah

[01:30:35] Raising Children As Whole Mates

• 744 Debra Silverman | Your Pain Has a Pattern… and Astrology Reveals It All (This Isn’t Random)
• What embodiment feels like.
• Why raising children is more than a role mate part.
• How we can serve the larger whole.
• Phenomenology of Eros by Jonna Bornemark + Marcia Sa Cavalcante Schuback
• The reason why most relationships don't work.
• Why monogamy is a practice.
• Why relationships are the basic structure of reality.
• How most couples therapists don't address the issue of not having a shared vision.

[01:42:15] Our Deepest Desires Our Divine Desires

• Why God is the intimate infinite.
• How creating a new intimacy creates a new God.
• Why spirituality and religion must come together.
• How our desire to become more intimate comes from God.

[01:48:55] The Purpose of Evolution

• Why the purpose of evolution is the evolution of love.
• How the evolution of love is the evolution of God.
• Why whole mates are evolutionary partners.
• An atom is a new value of intimacy.
• How we move from matter to life.
• Why power gives us pleasure and dignity.
• How we can impact the whole world.
• Why we're never powerless.
• Enlightenment means to know the nature of reality.

[01:58:55] Reconfigure Your Past

• What creates a capacity to transform.
• How we can get beneath time.
• Why we can undo our mistakes.
• How transforming our will transforms our deeds.

[02:07:10] New Humanity + Existential Risks

• How we can practice love in the moments of pain.
• Why the universe feels love.
• How outrageous lovers commit outrageous acts of love.
• Why war is not inevitable.
• We can create a new human and a new humanity.
• How the cosmos is moving towards more goodness.
• What existential risks we're facing as humanity.
• Reimagining Humanity’s Identity: Responding to the Second Shock of Existence by Marc Gafni + Zachary Stein
• Why evolution doesn't stop.

[02:17:05] Solving Value

• How the process of getting deeper is our joy.
• First Principles and First Values by David J. Temple
• Why there are different qualities of love.
• How the new age community doesn't do the deep work.
• Why we need to solve the value to create a change in the world.

[02:25:30] What Is Value?

• How the source code is corrupted because the story of value has gotten lost.
• Why we need to go to the source code to clarify our values.
• What makes us question ourselves.
• How reality desires to evolve the source code.
• Why we're on the edge of a galactic moment.
• Avatar (2009)

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Power Quotes From The Show

Ordinary Love VS Outrageous Love

"I love you are sacred words, but we've lost connection to what they mean. We think that I love you is an ordinary love, a social construct where we agree this is the thing called love and we love each other and it gives us status and security and a sense of belonging. That's not what love is. Love is not ordinary love. Love is outrageous love. And outrageous love is not mere human sentiment. Outrageous love is the heart of existence itself." - Marc Gafni

Bodhisattva Sexing

"Sexuality models the larger field of Eros. It doesn't exhaust it. There are seven levels of Eros, seven tastes of sexing. And the seventh level is called Bodhisattva sexing which is when my orgasms become prayers. I'm sexing for the sake of the whole. I'm pouring my energy into the whole." - Marc Gafni

The Source of Loneliness

"Loneliness is the inability to share my soul print with another person, usually because I haven't shared it with myself. But my soul print is not a thing. My soul print is a story. It's a set of relationships. That's what reality is." - Marc Gafni

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Links From Today's Show 

• Marc Gafni
• Whole Mate by Marc Gafni
• Neil deGrasse Tyson
• 692 Paul Chek | Spirit Gym: How To Find The Truth of Your Soul + Live Your Dream
• Evolution of Love from Quarks to Culture by Marc Gafni, Zak Stein + Elena Levin
• The Boy Crisis by Warren Farrell + John Gray
• Love Story (1970)
• The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman
• Why Mars and Venus Collide by John Gray
• Getting The Love You Want by Harville Hendrix
• Social Physics by Alex Pentland
• Sapiens by Harari Yuval Noah
• 744 Debra Silverman | Your Pain Has a Pattern… and Astrology Reveals It All (This Isn’t Random)
• Phenomenology of Eros by Jonna Bornemark + Marcia Sa Cavalcante Schuback
• Reimagining Humanity’s Identity: Responding to the Second Shock of Existence by Marc Gafni + Zachary Stein
• First Principles and First Values by David J. Temple
• Avatar (2009)

 

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About Marc Gafni

Dr. Marc Gafni is a visionary thinker, social activist, passionate philosopher, and author of 25 books. He holds his doctorate in philosophy from Oxford University, as well as Orthodox rabbinic ordination.

He teaches on the cutting edge of philosophy in the West, helping to evolve a new ‘dharma’ or meta-theory of Integral meaning that is helping to re-shape key pivoting points in global consciousness and culture, with the aim of participating in the articulation of what Dr. Gafni together with Dr. Zak Stein and colleagues are calling CosmoErotic Humanism.

At the core of CosmoErotic Humanism is what Dr. Gafni and Dr. Stein are calling ‘First Principles and First Values’, Anthro-Ontology, and a “Universal Grammar of Value”.

This is the ground of a new shared universe story and a new narrative of identity for the new human and the new humanity. This is what they are calling the emergence from Homo sapiens to Homo Amor.

This shared story, rooted in First Principles and First Value,s can then serve as the matrix for a global ethos for a global civilization.

Gafni is considered by many to be a kind of Einstein of Philosophy who is leading a team of thinkers articulating a new vision of meaning for the world.

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