Executive Functioning: The "Why" Behind ADHD Struggles
Release Date: 02/18/2026
“Why ‘Bad Behavior’ Isn’t Bad Parenting — And the Harmful ‘Raised Right’ Myth About Autism & ADHD”
THE AUTISM ADHD PODCAST
If you’ve ever felt that gut punch… The side eye. The comment. The subtle (or not so subtle) message that your child is “too much”… or that you’re somehow getting it wrong as a parent… I get it! In this episode of The Autism ADHD Podcast, I’m talking about something that so many parents and therapists experience… but we don’t talk about enough: The “good kid / bad kid” narrative The “they were raised right” comments And the damage this causes for autistic and ADHD kids — and their families This episode was inspired by two real-life moments that happened just...
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Neurodivergent Moms of Autistic & ADHD Kids: Your Burnout Makes Sense & It Didn't Start With Motherhood
THE AUTISM ADHD PODCAST
I want to start with something I say to burned-out moms — and I mean it every single time I say it: Your burnout makes sense. Not the kind of "makes sense" that's just being nice. The kind that means there is a real, biological, neurological explanation for why you feel the way you feel. And it started long before you became a mom. That's a nervous system that was already running on empty — and finally hit its limit. In this episode, I'm joined by Elizabeth LeForest — AuDHD somatic coach, trauma-informed practitioner, and someone who has lived this from the inside out. We go deep, and...
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Sex, Drugs & What Neurodivergent Kids Actually Hear — And Why Safe Communication Changes Everything
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Let me tell you about the time I performed Madonna's "Like a Virgin" at my elementary school talent show. I was nine. I rolled around on the floor. I sang every single word. I thought the audience was speechless because I was that talented. I had absolutely no idea what the word virgin meant. Nobody asked what song I'd picked. Nobody explained it to me. And I didn't know what I didn't know. This episode is full of stories like that one — real, honest, cringe-worthy stories from my own childhood as an autistic and ADHD kid navigating a world full of words, slang, and confusing situations. The...
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Executive Functioning, ADHD & Autism: 5 Ways to Teach Accountability Without Shame
THE AUTISM ADHD PODCAST
When adults tell autistic or ADHD children to be more accountable — to take more responsibility, to stop making excuses, admit when they're wrong — I understand exactly where that's coming from. The fear underneath it is real. The exhaustion is real. But here's what I also know: when we demand accountability and responsibility through shame, we're not teaching our neurodivergent kids anything. We're just making them feel bad about who they are. In this episode, I'm getting honest about something most of us don't talk about — the massive gap between what parents mean when they say...
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Autism & ADHD: Effective Ways to Teach Chores
THE AUTISM ADHD PODCAST
ADHD & Autism: Why Chores Are So Hard and How To Teach Chores in a Way That Actually Works:) Why do chores turn into power struggles in so many ADHD and autistic families? It’s not laziness. It’s not defiance. And it’s definitely not a character flaw. In this episode of The Autism ADHD Podcast, Holly Blanc Moses sits down with adolescent psychologist Dr. Cam Caswell to unpack why chores feel like a nightmare for neurodivergent kids and teens. If you’re parenting a child with ADHD or autism and struggling with: Executive functioning challenges Chore refusal Emotional...
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Why Morning and Bedtime Routines Are So Hard for ADHD and Autistic Kids — And the Practical Supports That Help
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Executive Functioning: The "Why" Behind ADHD Struggles
THE AUTISM ADHD PODCAST
What if the problem isn’t motivation… but misunderstanding? In this episode, we dive deep into executive functioning and the powerful role of “why” in understanding ADHD and neurodivergent children and teens. Joining me is Dani Donovan — ADHD advocate, comic artist, and author of The Anti-Planner — for an honest and validating conversation about procrastination, overwhelm, shame, and the myth of laziness. If you’ve ever thought: “Why won’t they just do it?” “They know what to do — so why aren’t they doing it?” “Am I doing something wrong as a parent?” “Why...
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No One Asked Me Why: What Autistic and ADHD Children Want You To Know
THE AUTISM ADHD PODCAST
When I was in first grade, I had a plan for Valentine's Day. A very thoughtful, very Holly plan. Every classmate was getting a Valentine. But not every classmate was getting the same coin taped inside. There were the quarter kids. The dime kids. The nickel kids. The penny kids. And one classmate got nothing. My teacher was not happy. My parents were not happy. And not one single adult that day asked me why I did it. That part — the part where no one asked — is what this episode is really about. In this episode, I talk about: ▸ The full story of the Valentine's Day coin system (and...
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People Pleasing Is Dangerous for Autistic & ADHD Kids: What Parents and Therapists Need to Know
THE AUTISM ADHD PODCAST
People Pleasing Is Dangerous for Autistic & ADHD Kids: What Parents and Therapists Need to Know People pleasing is often labeled as being kind, flexible, or mature. But for autistic and ADHD children and teens, people pleasing is often something else entirely. It’s a self-protective survival strategy—one rooted in fear of rejection, emotional pain, and the belief that their needs are “too much.” In this episode of The Autism ADHD Podcast, I talk about why people pleasing is especially risky for neurodivergent kids and teens, how it develops, and the early warning signs adults often...
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Why Overusing the Word “Friend” Can Hurt Autistic and ADHD Children
THE AUTISM ADHD PODCAST
We use the word friend all the time—at school, at home, on the playground. “Line up, friends.” “We don’t hit our friends.” “That’s my friend from work.” It sounds warm and inclusive, and it’s almost always said with good intentions. But for many autistic and ADHD children, language is taken literally. When we tell them everyone is their friend, they believe us. And then they expect those people to act like friends—to include them, play with them, and treat them kindly. When that doesn’t happen, the confusion can turn into hurt, self-blame, anxiety, and even depression....
info_outlineWhat if the problem isn’t motivation… but misunderstanding?
In this episode, we dive deep into executive functioning and the powerful role of “why” in understanding ADHD and neurodivergent children and teens.
Joining me is Dani Donovan — ADHD advocate, comic artist, and author of The Anti-Planner — for an honest and validating conversation about procrastination, overwhelm, shame, and the myth of laziness.
If you’ve ever thought:
- “Why won’t they just do it?”
- “They know what to do — so why aren’t they doing it?”
- “Am I doing something wrong as a parent?”
- “Why does trying harder not work?”
This episode is for you.
We explore:
- Why executive functioning struggles are not laziness
- The critical difference between knowing and doing
- Why shame never improves behavior
- How misunderstanding leads to blame
- The emotional experience of ADHD
- Why “trying harder” is not a strategy
- How asking “why?” changes everything
- Practical ways to shift from frustration to curiosity
- Why understanding must come before intervention
For parents, this conversation offers relief and clarity.
For therapists and clinicians, it reinforces the importance of neurodiversity-affirming, emotionally attuned support that reduces shame and builds capacity.
When we understand the why behind executive functioning challenges, we stop seeing a “problem child” — and start seeing a nervous system that needs support.
Because if they could, they would.
🥁🥁🥁🥁 MORE Great information for you!
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About Holly Blanc Moses
Holly Blanc Moses is a neurodivergent psychologist, speaker, consultant, continuing education provider, and host of The Autism ADHD Podcast, Autism ADHD TV, and parent masterclasses.
About Dani Donovan
Dani Donovan is an ADHD content creator, public speaker, and author of The Anti-Planner. Through her viral comics and practical tools, she helps people better understand executive functioning, productivity struggles, and the emotional experience of living with ADHD. Make sure to get The Anti-Planner (clean version) and The Anti-Planner (original version)