Are We Telling the Wrong Story? Executive Functioning in Autistic & ADHD Children
Release Date: 09/23/2026
“Just for Attention”? Why This Assumption Hurts Autistic & ADHD Kids and How to Help
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“Just for Attention”? Why This Assumption Hurts Autistic & ADHD Kids and How to Help “How can they expect me to stay invisible? It's not like I can just stop existing.” An autistic ADHD boy said those words to me in my office. After decades of working with children and teens, it's still one of the most heartbreaking moments I've experienced. He wanted friends. He wanted to be included. He wanted someone to notice him. But his classmates called him annoying. And adults told other children to ignore him because he was “just doing it for attention.” What if the behavior we're...
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Is It Really “Behavior”? Medical Issues We May Miss in Autistic & ADHD Kids
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What if the “behavior” you're seeing isn't simply behavior? When an autistic or ADHD child suddenly becomes more irritable, anxious, withdrawn, aggressive, avoidant, or emotionally dysregulated, it's easy to focus on what we can see—and how to make it stop. But what if the behavior is actually a clue? In this episode of The Autism ADHD Podcast, I’m joined by my dear friend Dr. Purnima Valdez, a developmental-behavioral pediatrician and Associate Professor in the Department of Pediatrics at Duke University Medical Center. Together, we explore medical, emotional, and environmental...
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Are We Telling the Wrong Story? Executive Functioning in Autistic & ADHD Children
THE AUTISM ADHD PODCAST
Are they really refusing—or are we expecting their brain to do something it can’t reliably access in that moment? Executive functioning differences can look like laziness, carelessness, defiance, lack of motivation, “not listening,” forgotten homework, unfinished assignments, meltdowns, or complete shutdown after school. But those "behaviors" may be telling us a very different story. In this episode, you’ll learn: Why “try harder” often misses the real problem How working memory affects classroom performance Why multi-step verbal instructions can fall apart Why kids may complete...
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Could One Page Change Your Child's School Year?: Free Tool to Help Teachers, Therapists & Others Better Understand Autistic & ADHD Children
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Could One Page Change Your Child's School Year? A Free Tool to Help the Adults in Their World Truly Understand Them If you're the parent of an autistic or ADHD child, you know how exhausting it can be to explain your child to every new teacher, therapist, physician, coach, tutor, or camp counselor. You hope they'll understand your child's strengths, communication style, sensory needs, executive functioning challenges, and what helps them thrive—but those conversations don't always happen the way you'd hoped. In this episode of The Autism ADHD Podcast, I'm introducing a brand-new FREE...
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Why Some Tasks Feel Impossible for Autistic & ADHD Kids: Visual-Spatial Skills, Executive Functioning, and the Cost of Shame
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Why does your autistic or ADHD child struggle with things that seem easy for everyone else? Maybe they can't keep their room organized. Maybe they lose things constantly. Maybe they seem overwhelmed by tasks that other children complete without much effort. And maybe you've wondered... "Are they just not trying?" In this episode, I share a personal story that completely changed the way I think about strengths, executive functioning, and why some tasks feel impossible for certain brains. When I opened the door to a cluttered closet at my clinic, I felt immediate overwhelm, shame, and paralysis....
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Small Language Shifts That Protect The Mental Health of Autistic & ADHD Children
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The Small Language Shifts That Protect the Mental Health of Neurodivergent Kids What if some of the most common words we use with autistic and ADHD children are actually creating confusion, shame, masking and self-doubt? Words like: • Respectful • Responsible • Pay attention • Motivated • Trustworthy • Nice • Confident and on and on Most of us use these words every day without thinking twice. But for many neurodivergent children and teens, these words can feel vague, confusing, and impossible to understand. When children don't know exactly what is expected of them, they aren't...
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Are We Really Listening to Autistic & ADHD Children?
THE AUTISM ADHD PODCAST
I was in the hospital for seven days recently. Scared. Exhausted. Completely out of control of what was happening to my body. In the middle of all of it — a nurse walked in and asked if I wanted a blanket. It sounds small. It wasn't. Because in that moment, someone was asking what I needed. And I couldn't stop thinking about how rarely that happens... especially for neurodivergent kids. We tell them to use their words. We say, "Come to me before it gets to be too much." But when they do — when they say it's too loud, the clothes are itchy, I can't handle the cafeteria — too often what...
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Autism, ADHD & Anxiety: Trying to Be “Good Enough” Almost Killed Me
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This episode is deeply personal. Today, I’m sharing a part of my story that I've hidden for a very long time. Elizabeth Le Forest is walking with me through painful topics such as anxiety, perfectionism, chronic illness, masking, people pleasing, burnout, and what happens when a neurodivergent person spends their life trying to prove they are worthy of love, belonging, and support. For years, I wore a heavy mask. I learned to push through it all with a smile Rejection Exhaustion Pain. Fear. Overwhelm. I learned to disconnect from my body and my needs because somewhere along the...
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“Why ‘Bad Behavior’ Isn’t Bad Parenting — And the Harmful ‘Raised Right’ Myth About Autism & ADHD”
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If you’ve ever felt that gut punch… The side eye. The comment. The subtle (or not so subtle) message that your child is “too much”… or that you’re somehow getting it wrong as a parent… I get it! In this episode of The Autism ADHD Podcast, I’m talking about something that so many parents and therapists experience… but we don’t talk about enough: The “good kid / bad kid” narrative The “they were raised right” comments And the damage this causes for autistic and ADHD kids — and their families This episode was inspired by two real-life moments that happened just...
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Neurodivergent Moms of Autistic & ADHD Kids: Your Burnout Makes Sense & It Didn't Start With Motherhood
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I want to start with something I say to burned-out moms — and I mean it every single time I say it: Your burnout makes sense. Not the kind of "makes sense" that's just being nice. The kind that means there is a real, biological, neurological explanation for why you feel the way you feel. And it started long before you became a mom. That's a nervous system that was already running on empty — and finally hit its limit. In this episode, I'm joined by Elizabeth LeForest — AuDHD somatic coach, trauma-informed practitioner, and someone who has lived this from the inside out. We go deep, and...
info_outlineAre they really refusing—or are we expecting their brain to do something it can’t reliably access in that moment?
Executive functioning differences can look like laziness, carelessness, defiance, lack of motivation, “not listening,” forgotten homework, unfinished assignments, meltdowns, or complete shutdown after school.
But those "behaviors" may be telling us a very different story.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
- Why “try harder” often misses the real problem
- How working memory affects classroom performance
- Why multi-step verbal instructions can fall apart
- Why kids may complete assignments but never turn them in
- Why some neurodivergent kids are completely depleted after school
- How visual directions, checklists, chunking, routines, and external supports can help
- Why accommodations are about access—not special treatment
- Helpful ways to think about support in IEP and 504 meetings
The goal isn't to make neurodivergent kids try harder.
It's to give their brain what it needs.
🎒 Need school accommodation ideas?
You'll love the 135 School Accommodations for Autistic & ADHD Students Guide! The guide includes practical, neurodiversity-affirming supports for executive functioning, academics, sensory needs, emotional regulation, social support, self-advocacy, and more, with examples of each accommodation.
Parents, click here for the Guide
Therapists, click here for the Guide
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About Holly Blanc Moses: Holly Blanc Moses is an AuDHD psychologist with 28 years of experience. She is a speaker, consultant, continuing education provider, and host of The Autism ADHD Podcast, Autism ADHD TV, and parent masterclasses.
About The Podcast
The Autism ADHD Podcast is for parents and professionals who want a neurodiversity-affirming approach to supporting autistic and ADHD children and teens — with a focus on emotional regulation, executive functioning, mental health, and connection.