Breakup to Blessing

Welcome to 'Breakup to Blessing,' the podcast where Sylvia, a breakup and relationship therapist, guides you through the intricate journey of heartbreak and relationships with empathy and expertise. Join her as she explores practical tips, insightful advice, and proven strategies to not only cope with the challenges of heartbreak, but also to discover the path towards healing, personal growth, and building healthy relationships. Tune in for a transformative experience, turning heartbreak into a powerful catalyst for positive change.

Why You Can't Get Over Your Ex: The Delusion Keeping You Stuck After a Breakup Ep. 140 09/21/2025

Stop Chasing Outcomes: How to Actually Get Your Ex Back or Find Love Ep. 139 09/14/2025

Stop Chasing Outcomes: How to Actually Get Your Ex Back or Find Love Ep. 139 Are you obsessing over getting your ex back, finding "the one," or stopping the pain after a breakup? In this episode, I reveal why our outcome-focused thinking is actually sabotaging our success in love - and what to do instead. What You'll Learn: Why focusing on outcomes keeps you stuck in breakups and dating The counter-intuitive truth about getting an ex back How to shift from desperate outcome-chasing to empowered process-building Why dating with a "find the one" mentality backfires My personal story: How my husband and I broke up, grew apart, and came back together as different people Practical steps to become process-focused instead of outcome-obsessed Key Takeaways: The Breakup Paradox: The way to get your ex back is to become someone who doesn't need them back. When you focus on healing and growth instead of reunion, you either attract them back as a choice (not a need) or you become ready for someone better. The Dating Trap: When you're so focused on finding "the one," you miss valuable practice in connection, conversation, and authenticity that actually makes you more attractive to the right person. The Process Promise: Focus on who you're becoming today, and the outcomes you want become inevitable tomorrow. In This Episode I Share: How my 4-month relationship ended with no intention of reconciliation Why breaking up was the best thing for our eventual marriage The growth that happened when we stopped trying to make it work How we came back together as completely different people Why I couldn't have shown up properly without that time apart Action Steps: Identify where you're being too outcome-focused Define what the actual process looks like for your goals Set one process goal for this week Practice celebrating process wins, not just outcomes Build trust in the journey, even when you can't see the destination Perfect For You If: You're struggling to get over an ex You keep hoping they'll come back You're frustrated with dating and haven't found "the one" You feel stuck in patterns that aren't working You want to build genuine confidence in relationships You're ready to stop chasing and start becoming Connect With Me: Instagram: @sylviasuwan Book a free consultation: Love this episode? Leave a 5-star review and share it with someone who needs to hear this message! /episode/index/show/85871c7a-d3ae-4b42-953a-6815e234caee/id/38215905

Encore: Why loneliness has nothing to do with being single (Being single vs being lonely) Ep. 138 09/07/2025

Encore: Why loneliness has nothing to do with being single (Being single vs being lonely) Ep. 138 We often think being single means being lonely – but that's one of the biggest relationship myths out there. The truth? You can be single and completely fulfilled, or in a relationship and feel totally disconnected from your partner. In this essential episode, I'm breaking down why we confuse relationship status with happiness, and what to do about the loneliness that has nothing to do with whether you're coupled up or not. What You'll Learn: The four relationship states we all cycle through – and why only one of them actually matters for your happiness. Why being in a relationship and feeling lonely is actually worse than being single and lonely (and what this taught me about my own patterns). How to tell if you're staying in a relationship just to avoid being alone – and why this keeps you stuck in disconnection. The real markers of a successful relationship (hint: it has nothing to do with how long you've been together). What to do when you're single and lonely – including how to meet your connection needs without jumping into the wrong relationship. How to reconnect with your partner if you're feeling distant – and the questions that will tell you if it's worth the effort. Here's the reality: Whether you're single or partnered, there are specific things you can do right now to reduce loneliness and build the connections that actually fill you up. The goal isn't just to be in a relationship – it's to create a life where you feel genuinely connected to the people around you, starting with yourself. If you're feeling lonely right now, this episode will help you figure out exactly what you're really looking for and how to find it in ways that don't involve settling for the wrong person or staying stuck in a relationship that's making you feel more alone. Key Takeaways: Being single ≠ being lonely (and being coupled ≠ being connected) Quality relationships are built on connection, not just commitment Loneliness is about disconnection, not relationship status You can reduce loneliness whether you're single or partnered The importance of taking action rather than waiting for someone else to fix your situation Book a free consultation with Sylvia: /episode/index/show/85871c7a-d3ae-4b42-953a-6815e234caee/id/38122935

You Are Not Defined by Your Ex: Healing Self-Worth After a Breakup Ep. 137 08/31/2025

How the Decisions You Make After Heartbreak Define Your Future Ep. 136 08/25/2025

5 Things For You to Do Immediately After a Breakup Ep. 135 08/17/2025

5 Things For You to Do Immediately After a Breakup Ep. 135 Going through a breakup and don't know what to do with yourself? This episode is for you. Whether you're in shock, having a breakdown, or feeling completely detached, all reactions are normal. Instead of the typical breakup advice, I'm sharing 4 practical, actionable steps that will set you up for your next chapter - one that's better than before and intentionally focused on creating your best life. What You'll Learn Why your breakup reaction is normal (and often learned from childhood) The 4 unconventional steps to take immediately after a breakup How to use this ending as a catalyst for building an amazing life Why healing isn't passive and requires intentional work How to shift from reactive mode to creative mode The 4 Steps to Transform Your Breakup 1. Create Your Values List Find "values exercises" on Google (takes 5-10 minutes) Examples: integrity, loyalty, connection, authenticity, adventure Use your values as a compass for all major decisions Notice where you're expending energy that doesn't align with who you want to be 2. Complete a Life Wheel Exercise Rate 10 life areas on a scale of 1-10 (health, career, finances, relationships, spirituality, etc.) Identify which areas have been neglected while focusing on your relationship Get an honest assessment to rebuild intentionally Focus energy where it will create the most balance and fulfillment 3. Commit to Something Outside Your Comfort Zone Choose something that makes you nervous but excited Examples: learning to surf, guitar lessons, solo travel, art classes Build evidence that you can handle uncertainty and figure things out Expand your world instead of shrinking it after a breakup 4. Write Down Your Perfect Day Visualize from wake-up to sleep - be detailed No limitations based on current circumstances Your ex cannot be part of this picture Use it as a north star for decision-making Ask: "Does this move me closer to or further from my perfect day?" Key Takeaways There's no "right" way to react to a breakup Your reaction is likely a coping pattern learned in childhood Healing requires intentional work, not just waiting for time to pass This breakup is giving you a clean slate and opportunity to rebuild consciously People who come out stronger use disruption as a chance to make conscious changes You get to choose what to keep and what to leave behind Resources Mentioned Values Exercise: Search "find my values exercises" on Google Life Wheel Exercise: Search "life wheel exercise" on Google or book a consultation with Sylvia Personal Consultation: DM @sylviasuwan on Instagram for booking link Connect with Sylvia Instagram: Book a Consultation: Quote to Remember "The people who come out of breakups stronger, happier, and more fulfilled are the ones who use the disruption as an opportunity to examine their lives and make conscious changes. They're the ones who refuse to just go back to how things were before." /episode/index/show/85871c7a-d3ae-4b42-953a-6815e234caee/id/37855890

How To Find The Parts of You That Need Healing Ep. 134 08/10/2025

How to Fix Relationship Problems: Foundation First Approach Ep. 133 08/04/2025

How to Fix Relationship Problems: Foundation First Approach Ep. 133 In this episode, we explore a game-changing framework for understanding relationship issues: the hierarchy of relationship problems. Just like Maslow's hierarchy of needs, relationships have different levels of problems that must be addressed in the right order to create lasting, healthy partnerships. The Relationship Hierarchy (Bottom to Top) Foundation Level: Basic Relationship Needs Respect Trust Safety (emotional, physical, psychological) These are non-negotiable - your relationship equivalent of food, water, and shelter Middle Tier: Communication and Connection Effective communication about difficult topics Emotional intimacy and connection Shared values and alignment Healthy conflict navigation skills Top Tier: Passion and Fun Romance and passion Adventure and excitement Fun activities and shared experiences The "magical" aspects of relationships Why We Get the Hierarchy Wrong Top-tier focus is more appealing - Romance and passion are exciting to think about Foundation work isn't "sexy" - Boundary conversations and trust-building feel less romantic We try to fix symptoms, not root causes - Like putting a bandage on a broken leg Pattern repetition - Without addressing foundational issues, we recreate the same problems with new partners The Foundation Checklist Ask yourself these critical questions: Safety: Do you feel completely safe being yourself with your partner? Can you share your real thoughts, fears, and dreams without judgment? Trust: Do you trust them completely? Not just fidelity, but follow-through, honesty, and having your best interests at heart? Respect: Do you feel genuinely respected? Are your input, time, feelings, and perspectives treated as valuable? If any answer is "no," that's where your work begins. Common Mistakes Planning romantic dates when you can't have conversations without arguments Trying to improve physical intimacy when emotional safety is missing Focusing on shared activities when basic respect is absent Sweeping foundational issues under the rug hoping they'll resolve themselves The Exercise That Changes Everything Identify the foundational cracks - What basic issues in your current/past relationship weren't addressed? Examine why they weren't addressed - Lack of skills? Fear of conflict? Believing you didn't deserve better? Recognize the pattern - Are you trying to solve the wrong problem at the wrong level? How to Use This Hierarchy Step 1: Get crystal clear on your foundation-level non-negotiables Define what safety, trust, and respect look like for you Don't compromise on these basics Step 2: Develop middle-tier skills Learn effective communication techniques Practice building emotional intimacy Develop healthy conflict resolution skills Step 3: Enjoy the top-tier benefits Plan romantic experiences Explore passion and adventure Create magical moments together Key Takeaways Most relationship problems are hierarchy problems - People try to solve issues at the wrong level You can't build a healthy relationship on an unhealthy foundation - Surface fixes won't address deeper structural problems Foundation work comes first - Safety, trust, and respect must be established before focusing on passion and fun These are learnable skills - Communication and intimacy skills can be developed with practice The Bottom Line Stop trying to create passion when you need to create safety. Stop planning romantic gestures when you need to establish basic respect. Build from the ground up, address problems at the right level, and create relationships that are not just exciting—but sustainable, secure, and lasting. Questions for Reflection What foundational issues have you been avoiding in your relationships? Are you trying to solve surface problems while ignoring deeper structural issues? What does safety, trust, and respect specifically look like for you? What skills do you need to develop at each level of the hierarchy? Work with Sylvia - Book a free consultation /episode/index/show/85871c7a-d3ae-4b42-953a-6815e234caee/id/37656585