Breakup to Blessing
Welcome to 'Breakup to Blessing,' the podcast where Sylvia, a breakup and relationship therapist, guides you through the intricate journey of heartbreak and relationships with empathy and expertise. Join her as she explores practical tips, insightful advice, and proven strategies to not only cope with the challenges of heartbreak, but also to discover the path towards healing, personal growth, and building healthy relationships. Tune in for a transformative experience, turning heartbreak into a powerful catalyst for positive change.
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No Contact Challenge Day 2: Reality vs. Fantasy & Why Grief Isn't Linear
11/19/2025
No Contact Challenge Day 2: Reality vs. Fantasy & Why Grief Isn't Linear
Are you missing who they actually were, or who you hoped they would become? This is the question that changes everything. In Episode 2 of the 28-Day No Contact Challenge, we get real about the difference between facts and the stories you're telling yourself. We'll explore why some days feel impossibly hard even when you thought you were making progress, and why grief doesn't follow a straight path to healing. What You'll Learn: The difference between missing the person and missing the potential How to separate facts from the story you're hoping is true Why living in delusion keeps you stuck (and costs you your agency) Why grief comes in waves and doesn't follow the "stages" you've heard about What progress actually looks like (hint: it's not about feeling good every day) Exactly what to do on the really hard days Key Topics Covered: Reality vs. the fantasy you're holding onto How delusion steals your power and keeps you waiting Why your ex would be with you if they wanted to be (the hard truth) Non-linear grief and why setbacks don't mean you're failing Why some days feel harder than others for no reason Measuring progress by your responses, not your feelings This Episode Is For You If: You keep replaying conversations hoping they'll come back, you're struggling with days that feel like you're back at square one, you're holding onto the potential of what the relationship could have been, or you need permission to have hard days without judging yourself. Action Steps: Write down the facts vs. your interpretation - get brutally honest Give yourself permission to have hard days without judgment Notice your grief patterns - when are you most triggered? Tough Love Truth: "You can't heal from a fantasy. You can only heal from reality. If your ex wanted to be with you, they would be with you. That doesn't mean you have to like it - but you do have to accept what is actually happening so you can heal from it." Book a free consultation with Sylvia:
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No Contact Challenge Day 1: Why No Contact Works & What Your Brain Is Doing Right Now Ep. 149
11/16/2025
No Contact Challenge Day 1: Why No Contact Works & What Your Brain Is Doing Right Now Ep. 149
Going through a breakup and can't stop thinking about your ex? Your brain is literally in withdrawal - and understanding why changes everything. In this first episode of the 28-Day No Contact Challenge, I break down the neuroscience behind why breakups feel like physical pain, what's happening in your brain when you can't stop checking their Instagram, and why no contact is the most powerful tool you have for healing. What You'll Learn: The science behind breakup pain (and why you're not weak for struggling) What dopamine withdrawal actually means and how it affects your healing Why any contact - even "just checking in" - resets your progress The truth about closure (and why you can't get it from your ex) What no contact really is (and what it's NOT) How to identify your vulnerable moments before they derail you Key Topics Covered: Neuroplasticity and rewiring your brain after a breakup The dopamine highway your brain built with your ex Why cortisol is keeping you exhausted and anxious The closure myth and why you need to stop waiting for answers Creating distance to gain perspective on your relationship This Episode Is For You If: You're struggling with the urge to reach out, wondering if no contact actually works, questioning whether you can make it through, or feeling like you need "one more conversation" to get closure. Action Steps: Recommit to no contact - for yourself, not them Identify your vulnerable moments (late nights, loneliness, after drinks) Practice self-compassion - you're going through withdrawal, not weakness Book a consultation with Sylvia: Work with Sylvia and Book a
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The 28 Day No-Contact Challenge Ep. 148
11/09/2025
The 28 Day No-Contact Challenge Ep. 148
I'm so excited to announce something I've been wanting to do for you all—a 28-Day No Contact Challenge starting next Monday. If you've been struggling to maintain no contact on your own, if your resolve keeps wavering, or if you just need support to keep going, this is for you. Over the next 4 weeks, I'm releasing 2 episodes per week to walk you through this journey together. This isn't just about not texting your ex—it's about rediscovering who you are, understanding your patterns, and using this experience as a catalyst for genuine transformation. With the end of the year approaching, this is your opportunity to show up as a different person so you can create a different outcome for next year. In this episode, I break down what to expect, why now is the perfect time to start, and what's waiting for you on the other side of these 28 days. We'll talk about connecting to your why, the opportunity in front of you, and how to set yourself up for success. This challenge is for everyone—whether you're actively reaching out or your ex just occupies too much mental space. If you're ready to redirect all that energy back to yourself and step into what's possible, let's do this together. Get the 28 Day Challenge episode sent straight to your inbox Book a free consultation:
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Letting Go of Control: How to Stop Forcing Love and Start Trusting Ep. 147
11/03/2025
Letting Go of Control: How to Stop Forcing Love and Start Trusting Ep. 147
In this episode, Sylvia explores how our need for control and rigid life plans often block the very love, joy, and opportunities we’re hoping to find. From relationship timelines and dating expectations to the stories we tell ourselves about how things “should” unfold, Sylvia unpacks why flexibility and openness are key to true connection and happiness. Through real-life examples and client stories, she reveals how letting go of rigid beliefs allows life to surprise us in the best possible ways. You’ll learn how to recognize where control is holding you back, how to question the beliefs you’ve inherited from others, and how to open yourself up to the unexpected paths that lead to growth, love, and fulfillment. In this episode, you’ll learn: Why your need for control might be blocking love and happiness How rigid beliefs and timelines create unnecessary pressure in relationships The difference between having standards and being inflexible Practical ways to become more adaptable in dating and daily life How letting go of “the plan” helps you attract what’s truly meant for you Show Links: Book a free consultation with Sylvia: Ready to work with Sylvia? Book a 10x session package and start your healing journey today:
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How to be Yourself and Still Be Loved Ep. 146
10/26/2025
How to be Yourself and Still Be Loved Ep. 146
In this episode of Breakup to Blessing, we’re diving into one of the most powerful shifts you can make in your relationships — learning the difference between speaking from fear and speaking from true vulnerability. So often, when we feel hurt, rejected, or misunderstood, our words come out as accusations, defenses, or silence. We push the people we love away while desperately wanting them to come closer. But what if there’s another way — one that actually builds trust, intimacy, and safety instead of conflict? In this conversation, I unpack: ✨ The three ways fear-based communication shows up (and why it never works) ✨ What true vulnerability really sounds like — and why it’s not weakness ✨ How to create emotional safety while expressing your needs ✨ What someone’s response to your vulnerability actually reveals about them ✨ How to rebuild trust and rewire your fear of rejection through small, safe steps If you’ve ever found yourself saying things you don’t mean when you’re scared — or shutting down when you most want to connect — this episode will help you understand what’s really happening underneath and how to change it. Book a free consultation: https://sylviasuwan.com/consultation If you are ready to work with Sylvia book a 10x session package and start today:
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How to Stop Feeling Anxious and Overthinking in Dating and Relationships Ep. 145
10/19/2025
How to Stop Feeling Anxious and Overthinking in Dating and Relationships Ep. 145
If you’ve ever found yourself lying awake replaying conversations, analysing every text message, or feeling an overwhelming wave of panic that makes you want to pull away from someone you care about — this episode is for you. In today’s episode, we’re diving deep into anxiety in dating and relationships — what it looks like, why it happens, and how to begin healing it. You’ll learn: The hidden ways anxiety shows up in your dating life Why your nervous system reacts as if emotional vulnerability is a threat How to tell the difference between intuition and anxious overthinking Why the right person can help you rewire your nervous system — and the wrong person can reinforce your fears What it actually takes to feel safe, secure, and open in love again Sylvia also shares a personal story about her own experience with anxiety in a healthy relationship, and how understanding her body’s trauma response helped her rebuild trust and calm within herself. This episode will help you: ✨ Understand what’s happening beneath your anxious thoughts ✨ Learn how to regulate your nervous system in the moment ✨ Identify whether your relationship is healing you or hurting you ✨ Realise that you are not broken — you’re healing If you’ve ever thought “Why can’t I just relax and enjoy dating?” — this conversation will give you clarity, compassion, and hope that you absolutely can. Key Quotes: “Your anxiety isn’t trying to ruin your relationships — it’s trying to protect you.” “The goal isn’t to eliminate anxiety, but to create safety so you can stay present even when it shows up.” “With the right person, your nervous system learns that vulnerability can be safe.” Show Links: Book a free consultation with Sylvia: If you are ready to commit to your dating and relationship goals, work with Sylvia:
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The Five Buckets of Love: Building the Foundation for a Healthy Relationship Ep. 144
10/12/2025
The Five Buckets of Love: Building the Foundation for a Healthy Relationship Ep. 144
In today’s episode, I’m exploring a concept inspired by Steven Bartlett’s book The Diary of a CEO: 33 Laws of Business and Life — specifically his idea of “The Five Buckets.” When I read this, it instantly clicked for me how perfectly it applies to dating and relationships. Steven’s framework explains how success is built — starting with knowledge and skills, which then create your network, resources, and ultimately your reputation. But what happens when we skip the foundation? When we try to jump to the outcome — the successful career, the perfect relationship — without building the emotional and personal groundwork first? In this episode, I connect Steven’s Five Buckets to the world of dating. You’ll hear about: 💡 Why attraction alone isn’t enough for long-term love 💡 How emotional maturity creates true relationship compatibility 💡 The danger of chasing a “bucket five” partner before you’ve built your own foundation 💡 What it really means to become the kind of person you want to attract You’ll also learn how to apply this framework to your own growth — building knowledge of yourself, developing emotional and relational skills, and creating the kind of grounded confidence that naturally attracts healthy, lasting love. Because just like in business, if you skip the foundation, the relationship eventually crumbles. But when you build from the ground up — with self-awareness, growth, and emotional intelligence — everything else starts to fall into place. Listen if: You’re tired of short-lived connections and want to build something real. You’re doing the inner work and want to understand why it matters. You’re ready to stop chasing and start becoming. Book a free consultation with Sylvia:
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Breakup Healing Mistakes: Why Gym, Journaling, and Retreats Aren’t Enough Ep. 143
10/05/2025
Breakup Healing Mistakes: Why Gym, Journaling, and Retreats Aren’t Enough Ep. 143
Are you months or years post-breakup and still feeling worse than the day it happened? You’re not alone. So many people tell me they’re doing all the right things—going to the gym, journaling, talking to friends, maybe even booking a retreat—yet they still feel stuck in pain. In today’s episode of Breakup to Blessing, I’m diving into why actions alone aren’t enough to heal, and what’s really missing when you feel like you’re “ticking all the boxes” but not moving forward. We’ll explore: Why support from friends can sometimes keep you stuck instead of helping you heal. The difference between healthy venting and reinforcing a victim mindset. How to journal in a way that actually brings clarity, self-awareness, and growth (instead of just rehearsing your pain). The science of affect labeling and why naming your feelings reduces their intensity. How to shift your mindset so your healing practices truly work for you. Why the people who transform most after heartbreak aren’t the ones doing the most, but the ones willing to change how they think. If you’ve been working hard to move on but still feel weighed down by the past, this episode will help you understand why—and how to finally shift things. Show Links: Book a free consultation with Sylvia:
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Why We Choose Emotionally Unavailable Partners Ep. 142
09/28/2025
Why We Choose Emotionally Unavailable Partners Ep. 142
Why do we keep getting drawn to partners who can’t give us what we need? In this episode, I explore the fascinating neurological and emotional reasons behind our attraction to emotionally unavailable people. You’ll learn how the same attachment systems that formed in childhood with your caregivers continue to shape your adult romantic relationships—and why rejection or abandonment can feel so overwhelming. I also break down the role of bonding hormones like oxytocin, dopamine-driven reward circuits, and stress regulation systems in how we connect with others. We’ll look at: How your early attachment patterns influence who you’re attracted to. Why emotionally unavailable partners can feel so familiar and “comfortable.” How unspoken childhood needs show up in adult relationships. The subtle ways we recreate childhood wounds in dating and partnerships. Practical steps to break the cycle, shift your perspective, and create healthier connections. Whether you’re single or in a relationship, this episode will give you the tools to spot unhealthy patterns, communicate your needs more effectively, and begin building relationships where you feel seen, safe, and valued. 👉 Don’t forget to hit follow or subscribe so you never miss an episode—and share this podcast with someone who needs to hear it. Book a free consultation:
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Why You Can't Get Over Your Ex: The Delusion Keeping You Stuck After a Breakup Ep. 140
09/21/2025
Why You Can't Get Over Your Ex: The Delusion Keeping You Stuck After a Breakup Ep. 140
When a relationship ends, it’s easy to get stuck in denial—replaying “what ifs,” clinging to hope that your ex will come back, or creating a fantasy that things weren’t as bad as they really were. But staying in this space only delays your healing. In this episode of Breakup to Blessing, I talk about the difference between denial and reality after a breakup, why false hope keeps you stuck, and how facing the truth (even when it hurts) sets you free. You’ll learn: The common signs you’re living in denial after a breakup How denial protects you emotionally—but also keeps you from moving on Practical steps to shift from fantasy into acceptance Why facing reality is the key to healing, growth, and creating space for the love you deserve If you’ve been holding onto an illusion or waiting for your ex to change, this episode will help you take that powerful step into freedom. Show Links: Book a free consultation: Follow me on Instagram:
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Stop Chasing Outcomes: How to Actually Get Your Ex Back or Find Love Ep. 139
09/14/2025
Stop Chasing Outcomes: How to Actually Get Your Ex Back or Find Love Ep. 139
Are you obsessing over getting your ex back, finding "the one," or stopping the pain after a breakup? In this episode, I reveal why our outcome-focused thinking is actually sabotaging our success in love - and what to do instead. What You'll Learn: Why focusing on outcomes keeps you stuck in breakups and dating The counter-intuitive truth about getting an ex back How to shift from desperate outcome-chasing to empowered process-building Why dating with a "find the one" mentality backfires My personal story: How my husband and I broke up, grew apart, and came back together as different people Practical steps to become process-focused instead of outcome-obsessed Key Takeaways: The Breakup Paradox: The way to get your ex back is to become someone who doesn't need them back. When you focus on healing and growth instead of reunion, you either attract them back as a choice (not a need) or you become ready for someone better. The Dating Trap: When you're so focused on finding "the one," you miss valuable practice in connection, conversation, and authenticity that actually makes you more attractive to the right person. The Process Promise: Focus on who you're becoming today, and the outcomes you want become inevitable tomorrow. In This Episode I Share: How my 4-month relationship ended with no intention of reconciliation Why breaking up was the best thing for our eventual marriage The growth that happened when we stopped trying to make it work How we came back together as completely different people Why I couldn't have shown up properly without that time apart Action Steps: Identify where you're being too outcome-focused Define what the actual process looks like for your goals Set one process goal for this week Practice celebrating process wins, not just outcomes Build trust in the journey, even when you can't see the destination Perfect For You If: You're struggling to get over an ex You keep hoping they'll come back You're frustrated with dating and haven't found "the one" You feel stuck in patterns that aren't working You want to build genuine confidence in relationships You're ready to stop chasing and start becoming Connect With Me: Instagram: @sylviasuwan Book a free consultation: Love this episode? Leave a 5-star review and share it with someone who needs to hear this message!
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Encore: Why loneliness has nothing to do with being single (Being single vs being lonely) Ep. 138
09/07/2025
Encore: Why loneliness has nothing to do with being single (Being single vs being lonely) Ep. 138
We often think being single means being lonely – but that's one of the biggest relationship myths out there. The truth? You can be single and completely fulfilled, or in a relationship and feel totally disconnected from your partner. In this essential episode, I'm breaking down why we confuse relationship status with happiness, and what to do about the loneliness that has nothing to do with whether you're coupled up or not. What You'll Learn: The four relationship states we all cycle through – and why only one of them actually matters for your happiness. Why being in a relationship and feeling lonely is actually worse than being single and lonely (and what this taught me about my own patterns). How to tell if you're staying in a relationship just to avoid being alone – and why this keeps you stuck in disconnection. The real markers of a successful relationship (hint: it has nothing to do with how long you've been together). What to do when you're single and lonely – including how to meet your connection needs without jumping into the wrong relationship. How to reconnect with your partner if you're feeling distant – and the questions that will tell you if it's worth the effort. Here's the reality: Whether you're single or partnered, there are specific things you can do right now to reduce loneliness and build the connections that actually fill you up. The goal isn't just to be in a relationship – it's to create a life where you feel genuinely connected to the people around you, starting with yourself. If you're feeling lonely right now, this episode will help you figure out exactly what you're really looking for and how to find it in ways that don't involve settling for the wrong person or staying stuck in a relationship that's making you feel more alone. Key Takeaways: Being single ≠ being lonely (and being coupled ≠ being connected) Quality relationships are built on connection, not just commitment Loneliness is about disconnection, not relationship status You can reduce loneliness whether you're single or partnered The importance of taking action rather than waiting for someone else to fix your situation Book a free consultation with Sylvia:
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You Are Not Defined by Your Ex: Healing Self-Worth After a Breakup Ep. 137
08/31/2025
You Are Not Defined by Your Ex: Healing Self-Worth After a Breakup Ep. 137
Breakups can leave you questioning everything about yourself — your value, your identity, even your worth as a person. You might be doing all the “right things” people recommend after heartbreak — staying busy, seeing friends, diving into hobbies — yet still come home to that deep, overwhelming emptiness. In this episode, I explore why so many people feel worthless after a relationship ends, and why it can seem like you only exist in relation to your ex. Together we’ll unpack: ✨ The missing piece most people overlook when healing after a breakup ✨ Why you’ve been giving your ex all the credit for the love and connection you shared ✨ How to reclaim your role in creating intimacy, joy, and partnership ✨ The belief that keeps you stuck thinking your ex was “the only one” ✨ Practical steps to reconnect with yourself and rebuild your self-worth You’ll walk away with a powerful reminder: the love, connection, and intimacy you miss didn’t come from your ex alone — they came from you too. And if you could create it once, you can create it again. If you’ve been feeling like you only exist in relation to your ex, this episode will help you see your worth in a whole new way. Book a free consultation:
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How the Decisions You Make After Heartbreak Define Your Future Ep. 136
08/25/2025
How the Decisions You Make After Heartbreak Define Your Future Ep. 136
What if the pain you’re in right now is actually the turning point of your life? When life falls apart — through heartbreak, betrayal, or unexpected change — it can feel like everything is over. But what if this crisis could be the moment that transforms you into someone stronger, wiser, and more authentic than ever before? In this episode, I’ll share how to stop staying stuck in anger and blame, and instead use disruption as a catalyst for growth. You’ll learn how to see relationships more clearly, build deeper connections, and make choices from courage instead of fear. Whether you’re navigating a breakup, family struggles, or any kind of life shake-up, this conversation will help you: Recognise the hidden power you have right now Reframe your story so the pain becomes part of your strength Create ripple effects that improve not just love, but friendships, parenting, and even your career Step into a future where you feel proud, resilient, and fully yourself You can’t control what happened — but you can choose what you do with it. This episode will show you how.
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5 Things For You to Do Immediately After a Breakup Ep. 135
08/17/2025
5 Things For You to Do Immediately After a Breakup Ep. 135
Going through a breakup and don't know what to do with yourself? This episode is for you. Whether you're in shock, having a breakdown, or feeling completely detached, all reactions are normal. Instead of the typical breakup advice, I'm sharing 4 practical, actionable steps that will set you up for your next chapter - one that's better than before and intentionally focused on creating your best life. What You'll Learn Why your breakup reaction is normal (and often learned from childhood) The 4 unconventional steps to take immediately after a breakup How to use this ending as a catalyst for building an amazing life Why healing isn't passive and requires intentional work How to shift from reactive mode to creative mode The 4 Steps to Transform Your Breakup 1. Create Your Values List Find "values exercises" on Google (takes 5-10 minutes) Examples: integrity, loyalty, connection, authenticity, adventure Use your values as a compass for all major decisions Notice where you're expending energy that doesn't align with who you want to be 2. Complete a Life Wheel Exercise Rate 10 life areas on a scale of 1-10 (health, career, finances, relationships, spirituality, etc.) Identify which areas have been neglected while focusing on your relationship Get an honest assessment to rebuild intentionally Focus energy where it will create the most balance and fulfillment 3. Commit to Something Outside Your Comfort Zone Choose something that makes you nervous but excited Examples: learning to surf, guitar lessons, solo travel, art classes Build evidence that you can handle uncertainty and figure things out Expand your world instead of shrinking it after a breakup 4. Write Down Your Perfect Day Visualize from wake-up to sleep - be detailed No limitations based on current circumstances Your ex cannot be part of this picture Use it as a north star for decision-making Ask: "Does this move me closer to or further from my perfect day?" Key Takeaways There's no "right" way to react to a breakup Your reaction is likely a coping pattern learned in childhood Healing requires intentional work, not just waiting for time to pass This breakup is giving you a clean slate and opportunity to rebuild consciously People who come out stronger use disruption as a chance to make conscious changes You get to choose what to keep and what to leave behind Resources Mentioned Values Exercise: Search "find my values exercises" on Google Life Wheel Exercise: Search "life wheel exercise" on Google or book a consultation with Sylvia Personal Consultation: DM @sylviasuwan on Instagram for booking link Connect with Sylvia Instagram: Book a Consultation: Quote to Remember "The people who come out of breakups stronger, happier, and more fulfilled are the ones who use the disruption as an opportunity to examine their lives and make conscious changes. They're the ones who refuse to just go back to how things were before."
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How To Find The Parts of You That Need Healing Ep. 134
08/10/2025
How To Find The Parts of You That Need Healing Ep. 134
In this episode, we dive deep into the often unseen—but deeply felt—impact of untreated emotional wounds and how they shape our everyday lives, choices, behaviours, and relationships. Whether you’re someone who feels “stuck,” overwhelmed, or confused by recurring patterns in your life, this episode will help you understand how unhealed pain manifests and why acknowledging it is the first essential step toward healing. 💔 Topics Covered: Why emotional wounds don’t disappear with time or avoidance How unresolved pain can influence your choices and decision-making The role of fear, shame, anger, and grief in unhealed trauma The way emotional wounds distort our behaviours in relationships Real-life examples of how wounds show up in everyday interactions What true healing looks and feels like (and what it doesn’t) How healing leads to emotional freedom, deeper connections, and peace 🧠 Key Insights: Emotional wounds can cause us to choose from fear, avoid opportunities, and recreate old patterns. These wounds often manifest as people-pleasing, withdrawal, hypervigilance, or emotional shutdown. Relationships act as mirrors that reflect our unhealed parts, offering opportunities for growth—or deeper pain if we're unaware. Healing is not about forgetting—it’s about reclaiming your power, restoring presence, and choosing love over fear. ✨ What Healing Actually Looks Like: Feeling your emotions without being ruled by them Being present instead of stuck in the past or fearful of the future Responding with compassion—for yourself and others Cultivating peace, resilience, and genuine joy Book a free consultation with Sylvia: Ready to work with me?
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How to Fix Relationship Problems: Foundation First Approach Ep. 133
08/04/2025
How to Fix Relationship Problems: Foundation First Approach Ep. 133
In this episode, we explore a game-changing framework for understanding relationship issues: the hierarchy of relationship problems. Just like Maslow's hierarchy of needs, relationships have different levels of problems that must be addressed in the right order to create lasting, healthy partnerships. The Relationship Hierarchy (Bottom to Top) Foundation Level: Basic Relationship Needs Respect Trust Safety (emotional, physical, psychological) These are non-negotiable - your relationship equivalent of food, water, and shelter Middle Tier: Communication and Connection Effective communication about difficult topics Emotional intimacy and connection Shared values and alignment Healthy conflict navigation skills Top Tier: Passion and Fun Romance and passion Adventure and excitement Fun activities and shared experiences The "magical" aspects of relationships Why We Get the Hierarchy Wrong Top-tier focus is more appealing - Romance and passion are exciting to think about Foundation work isn't "sexy" - Boundary conversations and trust-building feel less romantic We try to fix symptoms, not root causes - Like putting a bandage on a broken leg Pattern repetition - Without addressing foundational issues, we recreate the same problems with new partners The Foundation Checklist Ask yourself these critical questions: Safety: Do you feel completely safe being yourself with your partner? Can you share your real thoughts, fears, and dreams without judgment? Trust: Do you trust them completely? Not just fidelity, but follow-through, honesty, and having your best interests at heart? Respect: Do you feel genuinely respected? Are your input, time, feelings, and perspectives treated as valuable? If any answer is "no," that's where your work begins. Common Mistakes Planning romantic dates when you can't have conversations without arguments Trying to improve physical intimacy when emotional safety is missing Focusing on shared activities when basic respect is absent Sweeping foundational issues under the rug hoping they'll resolve themselves The Exercise That Changes Everything Identify the foundational cracks - What basic issues in your current/past relationship weren't addressed? Examine why they weren't addressed - Lack of skills? Fear of conflict? Believing you didn't deserve better? Recognize the pattern - Are you trying to solve the wrong problem at the wrong level? How to Use This Hierarchy Step 1: Get crystal clear on your foundation-level non-negotiables Define what safety, trust, and respect look like for you Don't compromise on these basics Step 2: Develop middle-tier skills Learn effective communication techniques Practice building emotional intimacy Develop healthy conflict resolution skills Step 3: Enjoy the top-tier benefits Plan romantic experiences Explore passion and adventure Create magical moments together Key Takeaways Most relationship problems are hierarchy problems - People try to solve issues at the wrong level You can't build a healthy relationship on an unhealthy foundation - Surface fixes won't address deeper structural problems Foundation work comes first - Safety, trust, and respect must be established before focusing on passion and fun These are learnable skills - Communication and intimacy skills can be developed with practice The Bottom Line Stop trying to create passion when you need to create safety. Stop planning romantic gestures when you need to establish basic respect. Build from the ground up, address problems at the right level, and create relationships that are not just exciting—but sustainable, secure, and lasting. Questions for Reflection What foundational issues have you been avoiding in your relationships? Are you trying to solve surface problems while ignoring deeper structural issues? What does safety, trust, and respect specifically look like for you? What skills do you need to develop at each level of the hierarchy? Work with Sylvia - Book a free consultation
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Why You're Still Stuck After Your Breakup (And How to Finally Move Forward) Ep. 132
07/27/2025
Why You're Still Stuck After Your Breakup (And How to Finally Move Forward) Ep. 132
Are you stuck in a loop of anger and hurt months or even years after your breakup? In this powerful episode, Sylvia explores the crucial difference between resistance and acceptance—and why one keeps you trapped while the other sets you free. If you've been replaying what happened, wishing things could go back to how they were, or feeling like life is happening TO you instead of FOR you, this episode will show you the path forward. What You'll Learn: The Two Paths After Heartbreak: What resistance really looks like (and why it keeps you powerless) How acceptance differs from giving up or condoning what happened Why acceptance is the key to reclaiming your choices and your future The Science Behind Staying Stuck: Why negative emotions can become addictive (featuring insights from Dr. Joe Dispenza) How your brain gets wired for familiar pain The chemical patterns that keep you craving stress and drama Breaking Free from the Victim Mindset: The real reason we resist taking responsibility (it's not what you think) How to move from "life is happening to me" to "I'm happening to life" Why feeling "ready" is a myth that keeps you waiting forever Practical Steps Forward: The confronting question that changes everything How to use your breakup as fuel for creating the life you actually want Why arguing with reality always makes you lose Ready to take the next step? Book a free consultation: Connect with Sylvia: Instagram: Website: If this episode helped you, please share it with someone who needs to hear this message. Your support helps us reach more people on their healing journey. This episode contains references to the work of Dr. Joe Dispenza on emotional addiction and neuroplasticity.
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Breakup Anxiety and Loneliness: What It Means and How to Cope Ep. 131
07/21/2025
Breakup Anxiety and Loneliness: What It Means and How to Cope Ep. 131
Welcome back to Breakup to Blessing. In today’s episode, we’re diving into two of the most common – and most challenging – emotions that come up after a breakup: loneliness and anxiety. If you’ve ever felt isolated after the end of a relationship or found yourself spiralling into “what ifs” about the future, you’re not alone. We talk about why these feelings show up, what they’re really trying to tell us, and how we can begin to respond with compassion and connection rather than fear. We explore: Why loneliness and anxiety are normal, not a sign of failure The loss of identity that often follows a breakup The pressure to “find yourself” again – and why that’s not always the right question How friendships can become your most powerful form of healing Why we often feel like a burden when we’re vulnerable – and how that belief keeps us stuck The gendered challenges around reaching out (especially for men) What it means to reconnect – with yourself, with others, and with your life This episode is a gentle reminder that you don’t have to do this alone. Whether you're newly single or deep in the healing process, this is your invitation to soften, reach out, and rebuild your sense of connection — not just romantically, but through meaningful friendships and community too. Listen now to hear: Why anxiety ramps up after a breakup and what your brain is really trying to do How modern relationships can leave us emotionally isolated What Simon Sinek and Esther Perel can teach us about friendship, purpose, and healing Practical ways to begin reconnecting — even if it feels awkward or scary A message of hope for anyone feeling unseen, unloved, or unsure where to go next Show Links: Book a free consultation: Follow me on Instagram:
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Why You Feel Like You're Not Enough Ep. 130
07/14/2025
Why You Feel Like You're Not Enough Ep. 130
Do you find yourself constantly trying to earn love? Staying in relationships where you're always proving your worth? In this episode, we dive deep into one of the most painful beliefs that keeps us stuck in the wrong relationships: "I am not enough." This isn't about blaming your parents—it's about understanding how childhood experiences shaped your sense of self and how those early messages still run the show in your adult relationships. From conditional love to emotional invalidation, we'll explore the common patterns that create this deep-seated belief of unworthiness. But more importantly, you'll learn practical tools to break free from these patterns, including a deep dive into reparenting yourself and working with your nervous system when you're triggered. What You'll Learn Why "I'm not enough" shows up in almost every difficult breakup 6 common childhood patterns that create feelings of unworthiness The difference between emotional validation and healthy socialisation How your nervous system gets activated in relationships Practical reparenting techniques that actually work Why you can't think your way out of triggered states How to practice emotional abundance instead of scarcity Concrete homework to start shifting these patterns this week Book a free consultation:
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Will They Come Back? Ep. 129
07/06/2025
Will They Come Back? Ep. 129
In this episode of Breakup to Blessing, we’re diving into one of the most common (and haunting) post-breakup questions: “Will my ex come back?” If you’ve found yourself obsessing over their social media, reading into every detail, or feeling stuck in the in-between, this episode is for you. We explore: ✨ Why letting go is not the same as giving up ✨ The two roads you can take after a breakup — and how to know which one you’re on ✨ How holding on keeps you stuck (and how to break that cycle) ✨ What actually helps people move on in a healthy, empowered way ✨ How choosing yourself creates momentum, confidence, and even attraction ✨ And why your worth has nothing to do with whether they come back or not This episode isn’t just about whether they’ll return — it’s about who you become while you’re waiting for the answer. Spoiler: that version of you? She’s magnetic. And she’s who you’ve been waiting for all along. 💬 If this episode resonates and you’re ready to take the next step, book a 1:1 Breakthrough Session with me — 60 minutes dedicated to your healing, clarity, and next steps. → Wanting to work with Sylvia? If you enjoyed this episode, don’t forget to rate, review and share Breakup to Blessing — it helps the podcast reach more people who need it. — Follow & Connect: IG: Web:
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Secure Attachment Ep. 128
06/29/2025
Secure Attachment Ep. 128
In the final episode of my 3-part attachment series, we’re diving into what secure attachment actually looks and feels like — and why, if you’ve experienced insecure relationships, it might feel unfamiliar or even “boring” at first. We explore the key traits of securely attached people — how they communicate, navigate intimacy, handle conflict, and show up in emotionally grounded ways. I also talk about how secure partners can feel confronting to those who are anxiously or avoidantly attached, and why calm, consistent love can feel like a red flag when your nervous system is used to chaos. Whether you’re trying to understand secure love for the first time, or you’re working on becoming more securely attached yourself, this episode will help you reflect on what real emotional safety looks like in relationships — and how you can begin to create it. In this episode, we cover: Why secure can feel “boring” to the anxious or avoidant The key behaviours and mindsets of securely attached people What secure communication really looks like (hint: no games, no chasing) How secure people respond to conflict, space, and vulnerability What it feels like to be in a relationship with someone secure How to move toward secure attachment — even if it’s not your starting point Want more support? Breakthrough Sessions are open for just one more week! These free one-on-one calls are designed to help you get clear on where you are, what’s keeping you stuck, and how to start moving forward with intention. Click here to book: Or send me a DM on Instagram with the word “breakthrough” and I’ll send you the link
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Anxious Attachment Ep. 127
06/22/2025
Anxious Attachment Ep. 127
Are you constantly worried your partner might leave? Do you replay texts, second-guess your worth, or feel like you love harder than others? If so, this episode is for you. This week on Breakup to Blessing, we’re diving deep into anxious attachment — what it looks like, where it comes from, and how it quietly shapes the way you connect with others. I unpack the core fears that drive anxious patterns, including the fear of abandonment, overthinking, people-pleasing, and the need for constant reassurance. I also explore: How anxious attachment develops from early relationship experiences The anxious/avoidant dynamic — and why it feels so magnetic yet painful What an anxious/anxious cycle can look like The subtle but powerful ways anxious attachment shows up in dating and long-term relationships And most importantly: how to start healing from the inside out I’m not giving you cookie-cutter advice — I’m sharing deeper, longer-lasting strategies to build emotional safety within yourself, stop over-functioning in relationships, and move toward secure, grounded love. Whether you’re single, dating, or in a relationship — understanding your attachment style is one of the most transformational things you can do for yourself and your future connections. 💬 If you’re ready to take the next step and want clarity, guidance, or support for the next 6 months of your personal growth or relationship journey, you can book a free one-hour breakthrough session with me by or just DM me the word “breakthrough” on Instagram ✨ Don’t forget to subscribe so you never miss an episode, and share this with someone who could use it.
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Avoidant Attachment Ep. 126
06/15/2025
Avoidant Attachment Ep. 126
In this episode of Breakup to Blessing, we’re diving deep into avoidant attachment—what it really looks like, where it comes from, and how it shows up in relationships. If you've ever experienced “the ick,” felt overwhelmed by emotional closeness, or found yourself pushing people away without really knowing why, this one is for you. We explore: The connection between avoidant attachment and the “ick” Why avoidants may idealise partners early and then suddenly devalue them The push-pull cycle of anxious-avoidant relationships (and why it’s so common) How avoidant/avoidant couples often mistake emotional distance for compatibility Practical steps you can take to move toward secure attachment and deeper intimacy Whether you're single, dating, or in a relationship, this episode offers self-reflection tools and healing strategies to support your journey toward healthier, more fulfilling connections. 📌 Mentioned Episode: [Episode 37 – What Attachment Style Are You?] (DM me "37" on Instagram if you want the direct link!) Episode 37: Book a free consultation: Emotional labeling practice How to plan vulnerability in conversations Challenging black-and-white thinking Micro-commitments that build emotional safety
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How Your Past Can Hold You Back From Being in a Healthy Relationship Ep. 125
06/08/2025
How Your Past Can Hold You Back From Being in a Healthy Relationship Ep. 125
Have you ever found yourself stuck in the same relationship patterns, even when you know better? Or wondered why certain triggers in love feel so intense—like you’re reliving something old? In this episode, I explore how unresolved past experiences—especially from childhood and previous relationships—can quietly shape the way we show up in love. From emotional triggers to attachment styles, I unpack the subtle (and not-so-subtle) ways our past can get in the way of building safe, fulfilling connections. We’ll talk about: The hidden patterns that often go unnoticed Why your nervous system reacts the way it does in relationships Common signs your past might be running the show How to begin breaking free from protective behaviours that no longer serve you This is a reflective, gentle, and honest conversation that invites you to look inward with compassion—not criticism. Whether you’re single, dating, in a relationship, or navigating healing after a breakup, this episode offers insight and hope. 🗝 Key Takeaways: Our earliest relationships shape how we relate, connect, and protect ourselves Emotional triggers in relationships often point to old wounds—not just current problems People-pleasing, avoidance, or hyper-independence are often protective responses Healing is possible through awareness, self-compassion, and safer relationships 💬 Journal Prompts or Reflection Questions: What relationship patterns do I keep repeating? When do I feel most emotionally reactive in love—and what might that be connected to? What would it look like to show up as my authentic self in a relationship? Join Breakup to Blessing: Book a free consultation:
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If You Want More Peace, Start Here Ep. 124
06/01/2025
If You Want More Peace, Start Here Ep. 124
In this heartfelt episode, I explore one of the most powerful, yet often overlooked foundations of a meaningful life: emotional health. Whether you're navigating a breakup, parenting, building a business, or simply trying to stay grounded in a chaotic world — this episode is for you. I share my personal journey of learning (sometimes the hard way) that emotional health isn’t just “nice to have” — it’s everything. It's what determines the quality of your relationships, your capacity to grow, and your ability to truly enjoy life. We’ll talk about: What emotional health really means Why it’s the key to showing up as your best self How to start investing in your emotional wellbeing today What happens when we ignore our inner world Practical steps for building emotional resilience and inner peace If you're in a season of change, heartbreak, or simply feeling overwhelmed — this episode will speak directly to your soul. You’ll walk away with insights and tools to start tending to the part of you that truly matters: your emotional self. Take a breath, slow down, and tune in. Your healing begins here. 📝 Mentioned in this episode: Start With Why by Simon Sinek The power of nervous system regulation Signs your emotional health needs attention Tools like therapy, journalling, meditation, boundaries & self-awareness 💛 If this episode resonated with you, please share it with a friend or leave a review on Apple or Spotify — it helps more people find this work. Join Breakup to Blessing Book a free consultation with Sylvia
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When Life Doesn’t Go to Plan Ep. 123
05/25/2025
When Life Doesn’t Go to Plan Ep. 123
What happens when the life you planned doesn't unfold the way you imagined? Maybe you're not where you thought you'd be by now. Maybe a breakup, job change, or unexpected twist has thrown your story off track. In this episode, we explore the pressure of sticking to life "scripts"—the timelines and plans we think we should follow—and what happens when reality doesn’t match the plan. I share a personal story about how letting go of a rigid idea opened the door to something even better. You'll also hear why clinging to old plans can keep you stuck, and how making space for change can actually lead to more alignment, freedom, and joy. Whether you're grieving a path that didn’t unfold or you're feeling stuck because your life looks different than you imagined, this episode is here to remind you that your worth isn’t tied to a timeline—and that sometimes, the best stories come from the plot twists we never saw coming. In this episode, we cover: Why we cling to life plans—and how that can hold us back What to do when your path changes unexpectedly The importance of checking in with old dreams and seeing if they still fit A reframe for those moments when you feel like you're "behind" How the “wrong” turn can lead you exactly where you need to be If this episode resonated with you, share it with a friend, leave a review, or hit follow so you never miss a moment of Breakup to Blessing. Connect with me: Book a free consultation:
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The #1 Reason You’re Still Heartbroken (And How to Finally Heal) Ep. 122
05/18/2025
The #1 Reason You’re Still Heartbroken (And How to Finally Heal) Ep. 122
Heartbreak can feel like an endless cycle – even when you think you’re doing everything right, you still feel stuck. Why does it feel so hard to move on? In this episode of Breakup to Blessing, I’m diving deep into the one thing that quietly keeps you trapped in heartache without you even realising – resistance. Join me as I unpack: 🌿 What resistance really is and the many ways it can show up in your healing journey. 🌿 Why your thoughts, beliefs, and even your well-meaning attempts to heal can actually keep you stuck. 🌿 How to recognise the subtle ways resistance holds you back from peace and acceptance. 🌿 Practical steps to finally release resistance and find true healing. Whether you’re freshly heartbroken or have been struggling for a while, this episode will help you understand why you feel stuck and show you a path toward genuine peace. 🎧 Listen now and take your first step towards letting go and embracing true healing. 👉 If you find this episode helpful, please leave a review or share it with someone who needs it. 👉 Want to work with me one-on-one? Book a free consultation at
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Why We Choose the Wrong Partners (and How to Choose Better) Ep. 121
05/11/2025
Why We Choose the Wrong Partners (and How to Choose Better) Ep. 121
In this episode of Breakup to Blessing, Sylvia dives deep into the patterns behind how we make decisions in our relationships — whether it’s choosing who to date, who to commit to, or even why we stay in relationships longer than we should. Are we being led by logic, or are our emotions quietly in control? Sylvia explains how we often create logical stories to justify emotional decisions, and she helps listeners uncover the hidden patterns that may be guiding them. Key Topics Covered: Logical Stories vs. Emotional Truths: How we convince ourselves our choices are logical when they’re actually driven by fear, insecurity, or unmet needs. Identifying Hidden Patterns: Understanding why you may be drawn to similar types of partners, even when they seem different on the surface. Attachment and Early Influences: How the emotional patterns formed in childhood with caregivers can impact your relationship choices in adulthood, as explained by Andrew Huberman. Recognising Your Own Patterns: A reflective exercise to help you identify your decision-making triggers — is it logic, emotion, or fear? Real-Life Example: The story of a woman who thought she was dating different types of men but realized they all had one thing in common — an inability to provide emotional connection. Making Healthier Decisions: How to challenge the stories you tell yourself and start making relationship choices that are genuinely aligned with your goals and values. Want to Connect with Sylvia? If you’d like to discuss your own situation and get personal insights, you can book a free consultation with Sylvia at .
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Replay: How to Let Go When You Don't Want to Let Go
05/02/2025
Replay: How to Let Go When You Don't Want to Let Go
Letting go can be one of the most painful and confusing parts of a breakup—especially when your heart isn’t ready, even if your head knows it's time. In this replay of one of our most-loved episodes, we explore why letting go is so hard and guide you through practical steps to help you move forward. Whether you're in the middle of heartbreak or still struggling to let go of someone from your past, this episode offers compassionate insight and actionable tools to support your healing. In This Episode, You'll Learn: Why letting go feels so difficult (even when it's necessary) How the no-contact rule works like addiction recovery Powerful tools for emotional regulation and self-reflection How to reframe obsessive thoughts and reclaim your sense of self Ways to build self-worth and cultivate emotional independence How staying present can support long-term healing Key Takeaways: Letting go is an emotional process, not just a logical decision. Acceptance and emotional regulation are essential for healing. Building independence and practicing mindfulness can move you toward peace. Links & Resources: 💔 Join the Breakup to Blessing program: Download the Breakup Journal:
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