loader from loading.io

Preventing Adoptee Suicide through Compassionate Community Support with Moses Farrow - Ep 119

Unraveling Adoption

Release Date: 11/13/2023

Adoption Songs: Exploring the Complexities of Adoption Through Music with Lori Evans Ermi and Kate Ermi show art Adoption Songs: Exploring the Complexities of Adoption Through Music with Lori Evans Ermi and Kate Ermi

Unraveling Adoption

"I think now that we have this knowledge, then we can use our story to help create awareness." - Lori Evans Ermi Read the transcript here: https://app.swellai.com/t/tp_01JDRMT4Z5RGJ6SD35WBFBT4PM EPISODE SUMMARY: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the pleasure of welcoming Lori Evans Ermi and her 17-year-old daughter, Kate Ermi, both of whom are adoptees and co-wrote their new book, Adoption Songs. Our conversation delved into the complexities of adoption from their unique perspectives, highlighting the emotional layers that come with their experiences. Lori shared her journey as a...

info_outline
The Male Adoptee Experience: Understanding Anger, Vulnerability, and Community with Tim Perdion - Ep 172 show art The Male Adoptee Experience: Understanding Anger, Vulnerability, and Community with Tim Perdion - Ep 172

Unraveling Adoption

"I almost feel like there was a blueprint, and I was a character to fit into that blueprint." -- Tim Perdion Episode Summary: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the opportunity to speak with Tim Perdion, an adoptee from Ohio who has spent the last decade navigating his journey of self-discovery and healing. Tim shares his experience of being adopted shortly after birth and the feelings of not belonging that plagued him throughout his childhood. Despite growing up in a loving family, he struggled with anger and a sense of isolation, which led him to seek validation through sports and...

info_outline
The Plants Are Calling for the Adoption Constellation with Mee Ok Icaro - Ep 171 show art The Plants Are Calling for the Adoption Constellation with Mee Ok Icaro - Ep 171

Unraveling Adoption

"The plants are always turning everything upside down because our culture is upside down." -- Mee Ok Icaro EPISODE SUMMARY: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I, Beth Syverson, welcome back Mee Ok Icaro, a previous guest who has shared her profound insights on adoption and healing through plant medicine. This episode is particularly special as we recorded as we prepared for an ayahuasca retreat in Costa Rica, where I participated in my first ceremony under Mee Ok’s guidance. We begin by discussing our feelings as the retreat approaches. I express my excitement mixed with a hint of fear,...

info_outline
Finding Empowerment through Sex Work as a Korean Adoptee with Kayla Tange - Ep 170 show art Finding Empowerment through Sex Work as a Korean Adoptee with Kayla Tange - Ep 170

Unraveling Adoption

Finding Empowerment through Sex Work as a Korean Adoptee with Kayla Tange "I can be in my body, and in that moment, I feel safe." -- Kayla Tange   EPISODE SUMMARY: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the privilege of speaking with Kayla Tange, a Korean adoptee raised by Japanese-American parents. She has navigated a unique and complex journey through life as an exotic dancer, performance artist, and sex worker. Kayla shared her adoption story, detailing her early life in an orphanage in Seoul before being adopted at six months old. We explored how her experiences with ADHD and...

info_outline
From Ethiopia to America and Back Again: An Adoptee’s Fight for Justice with Mike Davis and Maureen McCauley - Ep 169 show art From Ethiopia to America and Back Again: An Adoptee’s Fight for Justice with Mike Davis and Maureen McCauley - Ep 169

Unraveling Adoption

"I thought I'll go to the embassy and I'll clear this up. Yeah, that I was adopted legally and I was US citizen." -- Mike Davis   READ THE TRANSCRIPT HERE:   EPISODE SUMMARY: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the privilege of speaking with Mike Davis, an intercountry adoptee whose story sheds light on the often-overlooked complexities of adoption, particularly regarding citizenship issues. Mike was adopted from Ethiopia at the age of eight by an African-American single father and grew up in the U.S. However, in the mid-1990s, he discovered that he was not a U.S. citizen,...

info_outline
Educating the Next Generation: Adoption Messages in Children's Books with Allison Olson - Ep 168 show art Educating the Next Generation: Adoption Messages in Children's Books with Allison Olson - Ep 168

Unraveling Adoption

"I can read a book and tell you if it's written by an adoptee, written by an adoptive parent or written by somebody who's just a famous author and someone told him to write about adoption and they know nothing about it." -- Allison Olson EPISODE SUMMARY: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the pleasure of speaking with Allison Olson, an adoptee and adoptive parent who has made significant contributions to children's literature on adoption. We explored her personal adoption story, which began in 1979 when she was adopted as a baby in a closed adoption, and how her experiences shaped...

info_outline
Creative Paths to Healing Childhood Trauma with Jonathan Moon - Ep 167 show art Creative Paths to Healing Childhood Trauma with Jonathan Moon - Ep 167

Unraveling Adoption

“I'm telling all the skeptics who may be listening, just go in there with an open mind because you're not going to lose anything. You have so much more to gain.” - Jonathan Moon   EPISODE SUMMARY: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the privilege of speaking with Jonathan Moon, an adopted person who has navigated the complexities of relinquishment and adoption trauma. Jonathan's journey began in Korea, where he faced significant challenges as a child, including living on the streets and experiencing significant instability. He was adopted to the U.S. at the age of nine and...

info_outline
The Realities of Open Adoption with a Mother-Daughter Duo with Linda and Belle Sexton - Ep 166 show art The Realities of Open Adoption with a Mother-Daughter Duo with Linda and Belle Sexton - Ep 166

Unraveling Adoption

"I think my mom does a great job addressing this in the book, but open adoption is not without its challenges." - Belle Sexton Episode Summary: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the honor of speaking with Linda R. Sexton, an adoptive mom and author, and her 25-year-old daughter, Belle. This marks our first mother-daughter duo on the podcast, offering a unique perspective on open adoption. Linda R. Sexton is an author, speaker and blogger. She is an adoptive mom of two children, both in open arrangements, and is the author of the award-winning book, . The story is told with frank...

info_outline
The Intersection of Politics and Adoption with Mark H. - Ep 165 show art The Intersection of Politics and Adoption with Mark H. - Ep 165

Unraveling Adoption

"The way that fascism triumphs is if everyone goes silent and becomes quiescent." - Mark H. EPISODE SUMMARY: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I, Beth Syverson, welcome Mark, a transracial adoptee from Korea and a passionate advocate for adoption-related issues. Together, we delve into the often-overlooked intersection of politics and adoption, particularly in the context of the upcoming U.S. presidential election. As an adoptive mom of a 20-year-old son, Joey, who is navigating his own path, I feel a deep responsibility to address the complexities surrounding adoption and how they...

info_outline
Unpacking Adoption Trauma: Insights from an Adoptive Parent with Stacey Uhrig - Ep 164 show art Unpacking Adoption Trauma: Insights from an Adoptive Parent with Stacey Uhrig - Ep 164

Unraveling Adoption

“They [our kids] can't be more regulated than you are. They can only be as regulated as the least regulated person in the house.” - Stacey Uhrig EPISODE SUMMARY: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the pleasure of speaking with Stacey Uhrig, an adoptive parent and certified trauma recovery coach. Stacey shared her journey into adoption, which began after her own struggles with infertility. She emphasized the emotional complexities and challenges that come with adoption, particularly the trauma that both adoptees and adoptive parents may face.  Stacey discussed her...

info_outline
 
More Episodes

"Being commodified, treated as an object, as a thing that can be returned or exchanged, deeply affects us. I am not a thing." - Moses Farrow

Did you know that adoptees are at least four times as likely to attempt suicide as their non-adopted peers? In this episode, Moses Farrow will shed light on the truth behind high suicide rates among adopted people, and will provide resources to help prevent adoptee suicide.

In this episode, you will be able to:

  • Gain a deeper understanding of the challenges faced by adoptees and how to provide meaningful support throughout their journey.

  • Uncover the alarming realities of high suicide rates among adoptees and discover strategies to prevent this tragedy.

  • Explore a wide range of mental health resources specifically tailored to meet the unique needs of adoptees.

  • Develop critical thinking skills to examine and question the adoption industry, promoting transparency and ethical practices for the benefit of all involved.

My special guest is Moses Farrow

Moses Farrow is an esteemed guest on Unraveling Adoption, bringing a wealth of expertise and personal insights to the discussion. As an intercountry, interracial adopted person from South Korea, Moses resides at the complex intersection of adoption, race, disability, mental health, and activism. With over two decades of experience in the mental health field, Moses has dedicated his work to serving adopted individuals and other at-risk populations. His passion for advocating a complete paradigm shift in the adoption industry is rooted in his tragic personal experiences, having lost three adopted siblings to suicide. Drawing from his extensive background and firsthand knowledge, Moses offers a unique perspective on the challenges faced by adopted people and the importance of prioritizing mental health support. We are privileged to have Moses join us on this episode as we explore the pressing issue of adoptee suicide and discuss strategies for prevention and support.

The resources mentioned in this episode are:

Understanding Adoptee Challenges
In this insightful conversation, Moses Farrow shares his personal experiences as an adoptee, bringing attention to the significant difficulties often faced by individuals in the same situation. He discusses the feeling of being a "square peg in a round hole," highlighting the common struggle of adoptees navigating their cultural identity and fitting into their adoptive families. Moses' shared insights underscore the importance of providing support, understanding, and validation for the unique challenges adoptees face.

Tailored Mental Health Resources
The discussion underscores the need for comprehensive mental health support for adoptees, taking into account the specific traumas and challenges they face. Moses highlights the prevalence of adoption trauma, urging for it to be understood as a normal response to traumatic experiences rather than pathologized as a mental disorder. He advocates for integrated mental health resources that consider the adoptee's whole experience, providing essential validation and facilitating healing and well-being.

Timestamped summary of this episode:

00:01:22 - Adoptee Suicide
Beth discusses the topic of adoptee suicide and shares her personal connection to it through her son Joey. Moses, who has lost three adopted siblings to suicide, emphasizes the need for better support and understanding of adopted individuals to prevent more suicides.

00:03:19 - Moses' Origin Story
Moses shares his adoption story, being adopted from South Korea at the age of two. He reflects on his Korean identity and having cerebral palsy, which he believes was caused by a difficult birth experience.

00:06:21 - Childhood Dreams
Moses discusses his childhood dreams and aspirations, including wanting to be an astronaut, a movie director, and a musician. He reflects on how his interests and goals evolved over time.

00:08:15 - Mental Health and Therapy
Moses talks about growing up in a large adoptive family and navigating complex relationships. He reveals that he is a survivor of child abuse and highlights the lack of mental health support during his childhood, focusing more on physical health issues.

00:17:36 - Adoption as Commodification
The guest shares a story from South Korea about how he feels that adoption commodifies human beings. The term "rehomed" is discussed, highlighting the disrespectful connotation it carries. The guest expresses frustration with the language used in pet adoption and human adoption.

00:18:47 - Feeling Like a Square Peg in a Round Hole
The experience of being adopted is compared to feeling like a square peg in a round hole. The guest discusses not feeling like they fit in or belong anywhere, describing the struggle of not feeling Korean enough or American enough.

00:19:18 - Adopted People and Suicide
Adopted individuals are four times more likely to attempt suicide. The guest acknowledges the attention given to anxiety, depression, and suicide in recent years, particularly among teens. They discuss the importance of understanding suicide within its own context and the need to destigmatize and normalize conversations about it.

00:20:41 - Normalizing Mental Health and Suicide
The guest highlights the increased attention given to mental health and suicide in society, similar to the normalization of the COVID-19 pandemic. They emphasize the importance of open conversations and building support networks to validate and acknowledge individuals' struggles.

00:24:07 - Suicide Prevention as an Ongoing Journey
Suicide prevention and mental wholeness cannot be viewed as achieving a goal or reaching a finish line. It is an ongoing journey and practice of self-reflection, curiosity, and intention.

00:34:57 - The Coercion in Adoption
The conversation delves into the issue of voluntary adoption and questions whether individuals and institutions can truly make the decision without being influenced by the culture of coercion surrounding them.

00:35:29 - Preventing Adoption Trauma
The focus shifts to the high rate of suicide attempts among adopted individuals and the need for support. The conversation emphasizes the importance of checking on adopted people regularly and providing mental health support.

00:36:02 - Updating Research on Adoption
The lack of updated research on the mental health of adopted individuals is discussed, along with the need to recognize adoption trauma as a public health crisis. Mental health support and reconnecting with their pre-adoption lives are seen as crucial in addressing this issue.

00:37:23 - Overcoming Adoption Stereotypes
Adopted individuals often face societal pressure to be grateful and not speak out about their experiences. The conversation emphasizes the need to recognize and validate adoptees' experiences, elevating their voices and understanding the lifelong impact of adoption.

00:41:04 - Creating Safe Spaces
The importance of creating safe spaces for adoptees to share their experiences is highlighted. Sharing personal stories humanizes adoptees and challenges the commodification and dehumanization perpetuated by the adoption industry. The conversation emphasizes the need for a comprehensive approach to addressing adoption trauma.