The Gifts of Trauma
Hosted by Rosemary Davies-Janes & Leila Bahri-Lucas. Produced by J’aime Rothbard. This episode reminds us that the unconscious processes that drive humans, our memories and survival instincts, often lead to misunderstandings and reactive behaviors. Consequently, most relationship issues, while they may seem personal, actually stem from our innate drives. Stan outlines that rather than being approached casually, successful relationships require deliberate design, shared purpose, defined roles, and agreed-upon principles. We also explore: - The PPPRRR Approach: Couples can...
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Hosted by Rosemary Davies-Janes. Produced by J’aime Rothbard. This episode introduces Polyamory, a form of consensual non-monogamy, as a relational style involving multiple loving, consensual, romantic partners simultaneously. It emphasizes trust, open communication (as opposed to secretive ‘cheating’) and mutual agreement. Jessica and David, themselves polyamory practitioners and co-authors of two books on Polyamory, are joined by JP Bolhuis, a Psychosocial Therapist, Compassionate Inquiry Practitioner and Private Mentor who recently entered the world of polyamory. Jesica and David...
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Hosted by J’aime Rothbard and Rosemary Davies-Janes. Produced by J’aime Rothbard. In this soft and flowing conversation, Silva Neves differentiates the term "sex addiction" from "sexual compulsivity," as addiction is an independent disorder, while compulsion arises from environmental distress. Like food, sex is a primary drive, and has a natural physiological stopping point not present in other addictions. The analogy of food and diverse cuisines to normalize conversations about sexuality, highlighting that different tastes and preferences in food are accepted, but similar...
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Hosted by Kevin Young. Produced by J’aime Rothbard. In this conversation, Kevin introduces us to Dr Paul Gallagher, a lecturer in trauma studies at Cork University who started his formal education at age 40, after a significant "gap" in his life. Born in Belfast in 1972 at the height of "The Troubles," Paul recounts growing up in a war zone, where at 21, his home was invaded and his family held hostage. During this attack, he was shot and paralysed, and while physical and medical care were provided, psychological support was not. Paul highlights: - The crucial roles of...
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Hosted by Kevin Young. Produced by J’aime Rothbard. Tony shares his personal journey, from growing up gay in the 60s, to experiencing sexual trauma and seeking healing in his 50s. He views safety, kindness, and gentleness as essential for healing, as they invite us to lower our shields and ‘just be.’ Having worked in the psychedelic world for 2 decades, Tony stresses that profound psychedelic experiences are only valuable if they lead to a greater sense of ease and conscious awareness with which we can navigate our challenging world. He also recounts: - The development of gentler, more...
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Hosted by Rosemary Davies-Janes. Produced by J’aime Rothbard. In this gentle, heart-felt conversation, Leila guides us through the emotional landscape of infertility debunking common myths and misconceptions. She also shares her personal story, from 11 rounds of IVF to complete emotional collapse, which led her to agency, freedom, a new beginning and a baby. Leila also addresses: - How Infertility, as a trauma in its own right can unearth feelings of shame and worthlessness - Why trauma-informed support can ease the emotional toll of infertility medical interventions...
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Hosted by Kevin Young. Produced by J’aime Rothbard. In this conversation, our guests forge a link between childhood trauma and the severity of menopausal symptoms. Aisling, a GP who is herself experiencing perimenopause, notes that the menopausal women who consult her often carry immense stress from being "sandwiched" between their peak career responsibilities and caring for children, grandchildren and aging parents. Together Aisling and Rati contrast: - "Estrogen Washing" a term Aisling coined to suggest that HRT often serves as a "wash" which may offer temporary relief but is...
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Hosted by Rosemary Davies-Janes. Produced by J’aime Rothbard Join us for this wide ranging conversation between a Menopausal Naturopathic doctor and a Therapist who lives with Ehlers Danlos Syndrome while mothering a neurodivergent family and experiencing Menopause. Together, Rosie and Priya address the many physiological, emotional and practical implications of Menopause "tipping points" for women’s health. They highlight that: - Living an inauthentic life (always "doing" for others) can create physical symptoms, likewise addiction patterns may emerge or intensify if unmet...
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Hosted by Rosemary Davies-Janes. Produced by J’aime Rothbard This conversation moves from the medicalization of menopause to reclaiming it as a natural process; an important, transformative life stage marked by growth, development, and renewal, not an illness or pathology. Kate and Inés advocate for shifting from symptom management to trusting the body's innate capacity and involving the entire community in understanding this transition. Inés and Kate highlight:: - Brain Pruning which "chops away" old ways of thinking and being, making way for authenticity, new identity, and a...
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Hosted by Rosemary Davies-Janes. Produced by J’aime Rothbard. This conversation exposes the impact of cultural trauma on Indian mental and emotional well-being and the conflicts these cultural pressures can cause. After outlining how therapeutic approaches can ease the pain, transform lives and begin to shift cultural norms, expectations and beliefs, Mansi asserts that having dreams, desires, and boundaries is an expression of one's wholeness, not a betrayal of others. Cultural dynamics explored include: - The expectation that women will sacrifice their personal happiness for family...
info_outlineHosted by Rosemary Davies-Janes. Produced by J’aime Rothbard.
This conversation exposes the impact of cultural trauma on Indian mental and emotional well-being and the conflicts these cultural pressures can cause. After outlining how therapeutic approaches can ease the pain, transform lives and begin to shift cultural norms, expectations and beliefs, Mansi asserts that having dreams, desires, and boundaries is an expression of one's wholeness, not a betrayal of others.
Cultural dynamics explored include:
- The expectation that women will sacrifice their personal happiness for family honor
- Belief systems that defy logic and reason
- Abusive parents, difficult in-laws, avoidant husbands and broken familial promises
- The opposition of successful, educated professional vs. traditional wife and mother roles
- Normalizing physical abuse, financial abuse, and marital rape
Constantly overriding authenticity to pursue attachment gives rise to appeasement patterns, fawning responses and false beliefs such as, "sacrifice is love." These behaviours are linked to autoimmune diseases, as is detailed in Gabor Maté's book, When the Body Says No. Mansi supports his thesis with a poignant story of a friend battling terminal cancer, who sadly learned this lesson too late.
About Mansi Poddar, Psychotherapist
A trauma-trained psychotherapist and clinical supervisor, Mansi developed the SANI Model of Therapy—a trauma-informed, integrative framework which weaves together 4 key strands of therapeutic wisdom—Somatic Psychology, Affective and Attachment Psychology, Narrative Therapy, and Deep Inquiry. Having supported individuals through trauma, life transitions, and emotional healing for 14 years, Mansi’s approach is designed to provide deep healing, emotional resilience, and personal transformation.
She specializes in Compassionate Inquiry (developed by Dr. Gabor Maté), somatic therapy, narrative therapy, and inner child healing, integrative approaches that support deep transformation of both body and mind.
With a MA in Counseling for Mental Health and Wellness from New York University, Mansi is a Certified Clinical Trauma Professional and a Certified Compassionate Inquiry Practitioner trained in suicide prevention. Manis is currently pursuing advanced training in Trauma Informed Stabilization Treatment (TIST), Somatic Experiencing and Somatic Psychotherapy.
Promotional Message
If you're interested in experiencing Gabor Maté's trauma healing approach, consider working with a certified Compassionate Inquiry (CI) Practitioner. Access healing support for mental, emotional and physical symptoms, unresolved trauma, relationship issues, addictions, and more. Use this link to access our global directory of multilingual certified professionals. In addition to their years of CI training and regular Certification reviews, our Practitioners bring the depth of their own personal lived experiences and skills in additional, complementary therapeutic approaches.
Resources:
Websites:
Related Links:
Parental Abuse in Indian Culture
Adverse Childhood Experiences International Questionnaire (ACE-IQ)
Books:
Podcasts:
Quotes:
“For decades, Indian culture has practised an authoritarian style of parenting where parents believe in having complete autonomy over their child’s life, in most cases, even during the teenage and adult years. ‘Tough love’ is a favorite among Indian parents. ‘Traditional Indian parenting’ or ‘conservative mom and dad’ are terms loosely thrown around in India to uphold and normalise acts of suppression and child abuse, carried out for decades in familial structures.” - The Naked Truth
“When you question something, you are told, this is our culture, this is our tradition, and when this is done, it means that logic has ended and belief has come in.” - Kamla Bhasin.
“We are being educated. We are being told you should get a career, you should get a profession, you should be financially independent. But nobody is teaching men and their families to…create a culture that sustains this for women. So there is a conflict…A lot of women get diagnosed as borderline or bipolar because… they're filled with rage, and after talking, get people to mediate or communicate their needs. Nobody is hearing them. So they get these diagnoses. And a large part of my work is helping them peel off the labels and look at what's beneath it.” - Mansi Poddar
“Beliefs that hold women back: 1. Sacrifice is love. 2. Family honor is more important than personal happiness. 3. Good women don't say no.” - Mansi Poddar
“Shame is a very strong thing in this culture. Constant comparisons, body shaming, humiliation. I meet adults who are 60 years old who are still being humiliated by their parents.” - Mansi Poddar
Social Media:
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