The Trauma of Infertility, with Leila Bahri-Lucas
The Gifts of Trauma
Hosted by Rosemary Davies-Janes. Produced by J’aime Rothbard. In this gentle, heart-felt conversation, Leila guides us through the emotional landscape of infertility debunking common myths and misconceptions. She also shares her personal story, from 11 rounds of IVF to complete emotional collapse, which led her to agency, freedom, a new beginning and a baby. Leila also addresses: - How Infertility, as a trauma in its own right can unearth feelings of shame and worthlessness - Why trauma-informed support can ease the emotional toll of infertility medical interventions...
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Menopause: From Estrogen Washing to Social Silence, with Dr Aisling Quiery & Rati Roberta Riccardi
The Gifts of Trauma
Hosted by Kevin Young. Produced by J’aime Rothbard. In this conversation, our guests forge a link between childhood trauma and the severity of menopausal symptoms. Aisling, a GP who is herself experiencing perimenopause, notes that the menopausal women who consult her often carry immense stress from being "sandwiched" between their peak career responsibilities and caring for children, grandchildren and aging parents. Together Aisling and Rati contrast: - "Estrogen Washing" a term Aisling coined to suggest that HRT often serves as a "wash" which may offer temporary relief but is...
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Menopause: From Multitasking Queen to Second Girlhood, with Dr Priya Duggal and Rosio Fuentes
The Gifts of Trauma
Hosted by Rosemary Davies-Janes. Produced by J’aime Rothbard Join us for this wide ranging conversation between a Menopausal Naturopathic doctor and a Therapist who lives with Ehlers Danlos Syndrome while mothering a neurodivergent family and experiencing Menopause. Together, Rosie and Priya address the many physiological, emotional and practical implications of Menopause "tipping points" for women’s health. They highlight that: - Living an inauthentic life (always "doing" for others) can create physical symptoms, likewise addiction patterns may emerge or intensify if unmet...
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Menopause Pruning: Clearing Space for Authenticity, with Inés Zabalaga & Kate Hazlitt, ND
The Gifts of Trauma
Hosted by Rosemary Davies-Janes. Produced by J’aime Rothbard This conversation moves from the medicalization of menopause to reclaiming it as a natural process; an important, transformative life stage marked by growth, development, and renewal, not an illness or pathology. Kate and Inés advocate for shifting from symptom management to trusting the body's innate capacity and involving the entire community in understanding this transition. Inés and Kate highlight:: - Brain Pruning which "chops away" old ways of thinking and being, making way for authenticity, new identity, and a...
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Unveiling Indian Cultural Trauma, with Mansi Poddar
The Gifts of Trauma
Hosted by Rosemary Davies-Janes. Produced by J’aime Rothbard. This conversation exposes the impact of cultural trauma on Indian mental and emotional well-being and the conflicts these cultural pressures can cause. After outlining how therapeutic approaches can ease the pain, transform lives and begin to shift cultural norms, expectations and beliefs, Mansi asserts that having dreams, desires, and boundaries is an expression of one's wholeness, not a betrayal of others. Cultural dynamics explored include: - The expectation that women will sacrifice their personal happiness for family...
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Invisible Made Visible: Authenticity, Healing, and Impact, with Barbara Brangan
The Gifts of Trauma
Hosted by Rosemary Davies-Janes. Produced by J'aime Rothbard. Our guest, an expert grant writer for charities, social enterprises, and Indigenous organizations, shares her profound transition from a deep sense of invisibility to authentic visibility and happy invisibility. Barb also describes how integrating spiritual wisdom, trauma-informed healing and self-introspection ultimately directed her to surrender to her unique gift for impactful social justice work. Barb delves into: - Her own "happy childhood" myth, hiding the pain of her childhood medical trauma. - The value of Cosmic...
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From Wounded Warrior to Universal Illuminator, with Juliano Innocenti, PMHNP, MSN
The Gifts of Trauma
Hosted by Kevin Young. Produced by J'aime Rothbard. In this episode, Juliano shares his personal journey from the trauma of in utero addiction and premature birth, to being raised in the foster system, to his healing through expressive arts and Compassionate Inquiry®(CI). As a psychopharmacologist with time-limited patient prescription assessments, Juliano describes how incorporating CI practices into these sessions can help patients uncover years of hidden suffering, validate their lived experiences, question false narratives and potentially end trauma cycles He emphasizes the...
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Peace Activation Begins Within, with Eva Dalak
The Gifts of Trauma
Hosted by Rosemary Davies-Janes. Produced by J’aime Rothbard. This conversation explores Eva’s transformative journey from traditional peacework to a trauma-informed, soul-centred approach. Her own experience of progressive vision loss forced her into two years of deep shadow work. In this process she identified and released unhelpful core beliefs and avoidant patterns Today, Eva believes she lost her eyesight to rediscover her true vision and destiny, through embracing her Palestinian-Israeli identity She clearly explains why: - Sustainable peace begins within us - Traditional...
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Technology & AI : Benefits & Hazards, with Sat Dharam Kaur, ND
The Gifts of Trauma
Hosted by J’aime Rothbard, Kevin Young and Rosemary Davies-Janes. Produced by J’aime Rothbard. Join us as we explore the overall impact of technology and AI on human attachments, relationships, dependence, skills, wellbeing and our environment. AI is examined in therapeutic contexts, along with the considerable ethical and societal concerns around its use in that capacity, and the documented damage it can inflict on vulnerable populations. Sat Dharam addresses a number of ‘hot’ tech and AI topics including the: - Potential future implications of transferring human attachment...
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Resolving Math-Anxiety Through Trauma-Informed Teaching, with Dr Bea Bleile
The Gifts of Trauma
Hosted by Rosemary Davies-Janes. Produced by J’aime Rothbard This conversation explores how academic learning is impacted by a student's emotional state, prior experiences, and the safety of the learning environment. Bea, who has been teaching in various roles since 1993, saw that traditional teaching methods fail to account for the "whole" students who enter the classrooms. This failure often results in elevated student anxiety and hindered learning: As a teacher committed to evolving current educational institutions and systems, she addresses: - The impact of negative emotions on learning...
info_outlineHosted by Rosemary Davies-Janes. Produced by J’aime Rothbard.
In this gentle, heart-felt conversation, Leila guides us through the emotional landscape of infertility debunking common myths and misconceptions. She also shares her personal story, from 11 rounds of IVF to complete emotional collapse, which led her to agency, freedom, a new beginning and a baby.
Leila also addresses:
- How Infertility, as a trauma in its own right can unearth feelings of shame and worthlessness
- Why trauma-informed support can ease the emotional toll of infertility medical interventions cannot.
- The roles that self-compassion, truth and compassion play in our healing process
- Why acknowledging difficult truths and fostering self-compassion are vital for emotional well-being
Leila emphasizes that while the infertility journey is one of profound uncertainty and unraveling, if we surrender to the collapse, rather than allowing ourselves to be hijacked by the struggle, we can access freedom, agency and discover new paths forward. She shares how by learning to sit with our painful personal truths, cultivating self-compassion and community support, we can transform our experiences.
About Leila Bahri-Lucas
Counselor and Therapeutic Coach
Integrating Relational Life Therapy, Positive Psychology, Compassionate Inquiry and a Master’s in Psychology and Neuroscience of Mental Health from King’s College London, Leila’s approach is trauma informed, emotionally precise, and grounded in real relational change, the kind that shows up in the way we live, love, argue, repair, and try again.
While infertility remains central to her work, her focus has grown into the wider landscape of family building and relational transitions. She supports individuals, couples, and groups navigating infertility or its aftermath, blended families, relationship breakdowns, identity shifts, grief, and the emotional patterns that shape connection.
Leila believes we each hold a reproductive story, whether or not we become parents. Her passion is helping people stay connected to themselves and each other during life chapters that often create silence, shame, or distance.
Her own path included 11 IVF cycles, conceiving her daughter through egg donation, and becoming a mother nine months after her father died. That personal history continues to shape how she understands lineage, rupture, protection, and the courage it takes to relate with honesty.
Based in Dubai, Leila works internationally with people who want to understand what drives disconnection and how real connection becomes possible again.
Promotional Message:
If you're not a therapist or healer, but you've heard our guests describe the personal transformations they experienced during their Compassionate Inquiry® journeys, and wonder what that would be like for you... Circles is a 10-week small group experience offered to anyone who wants to experience the power of Gabor Maté’s approach to trauma healing. Use this link to find out if this program is for you.
Resources
Websites:
Leila’s CI Circle (Starts 1/14/26)
No matter what we’re going through, infertility, relationship strain, blended-family transitions, loss, or simply feeling disconnected, these experiences shape how we relate to ourselves and others. They can create isolation, silence or distance, even in relationships that matter deeply. Leila’s upcoming CI Circle on Relating is a supportive space for all who want to explore these relational layers in a supportive community with honesty and care.
Studies:
Fewer than half of IVF cycles are successful. These scientists are trying to change that
IVF research: What are the latest advances, and what obstacles stand in the way?
Articles:
What your doctor isn’t telling you about IVF — but should
Common Infertility Myths & Misperceptions.
Navigating the Emotional Landscape of Infertility
What surrender really means in spirituality and how it can bring peace in modern life
Books:
Conceivability
Intimate Conversations with the Divine
Podcasts:
15 Best Fertility Podcasts (2025)
Quotes:
“Infertility is uncertainty on a repeat. Infertility is uncertainty and so is life actually. It's the illusion of control that we have to let go of.” - Leila Bahri-Lucas
“The path is uncharted. It comes into existence moment by moment and at the same time drops away behind us. It's like riding on a train sitting backwards. We can't see where we're headed, only where we've been.” - Pema Chödrön. (When Things Fall Apart)
“Truth without compassion isn't healing and compassion without truth isn't enough. So work on that self compassion muscle in whichever way you can.” - Leila Bahri-Lucas
“Infertility is trauma in its own right, but it also unearths deeper wounds from early life. It leaves no stone unturned. For one in four to six couples, the inability to conceive cracks open layers of shame, isolation, rejection (for not being chosen) and grief that track back to childhood. Infertility has a particular set of stressors. It's a raw and complex journey for oneself and relationally.“ - Leila Bahri-Lucas
Social Media
@realwithleila