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The Spirituality of Relationships

THE (The Human Experience) Podcast

Release Date: 05/09/2025

The Spirituality of Relationships show art The Spirituality of Relationships

THE (The Human Experience) Podcast

🎧 EPISODE 4: The Spirituality of Relationships What if your relationships—every one of them—were part of your spiritual path? In this powerful episode, Dr. Carlos Garcia and Supna Doshi explore how romantic, familial, and even fleeting connections are not random... they’re mirrors. The people in our lives reflect back to us the places we’re still growing, still healing, still awakening. 💬 “What’s showing up in this relationship is the work I probably need to do on myself.” 🧘🏽‍♀️ “You can run, or you can use it. That’s the choice.” Whether it's a difficult...

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🎧 EPISODE 4: The Spirituality of Relationships
What if your relationships—every one of them—were part of your spiritual path?

In this powerful episode, Dr. Carlos Garcia and Supna Doshi explore how romantic, familial, and even fleeting connections are not random... they’re mirrors. The people in our lives reflect back to us the places we’re still growing, still healing, still awakening.

💬 “What’s showing up in this relationship is the work I probably need to do on myself.”
🧘🏽‍♀️ “You can run, or you can use it. That’s the choice.”

Whether it's a difficult parent, a triggering partner, or an unexpected friendship, this conversation reframes relationships as sacred ground for self-discovery. Inspired by Ram Dass, Karma Yoga, and lived experience—this episode invites us to stop asking, Why is this happening to me? and instead ask, What is this teaching me?

🎙️ Available now on all platforms. #TheHumanExperiencePodcast

#SpiritualityAndRelationships #KarmaYoga #SelfGrowth #RamDass #ConsciousRelationships #EmotionalHealing #HumanExperience #PodcastClip #InnerWork #SpiritualAwakening

 

The Spirituality of Relationships Transcript:

[00:00:00] Dr. Carlos Garcia: Welcome to the podcast, the Human Experience Podcast, where we explore the depths of spirituality and our own personal journeys and experiences. I'm Dr. Carlos Garcia. 

[00:00:11] Supna Doshi: And I'm Supna Doshi. In this space, we'll reflect on the wisdom of some of the most profound spiritual teachers from Eckhart Toi to Ramdas Wayne Dyer, Michael Singer.

[00:00:23] Supna Doshi: Together we'll dive into their teachings and share our own insights that have guided us on our own paths of self-discovery. [00:00:30] 

[00:00:30] Dr. Carlos Garcia: Each episode will feature inspiring clips from these masters, weaving them into our own reflections and conversations on how spirituality has enriched our daily lives, deepened our understanding of ourselves, and led us to a more meaningful experience.

[00:00:47] Supna Doshi: So take a deep breath, open your heart, and join us on this journey of exploration. Welcome to the podcast, the Human Experience Podcast. [00:01:00] The universe puts relationships in our lives that really are meant to teach us something. I go into something thinking one thing, and then it's it's usually hindsight, but now like I've caught up and now I can say, oh, today my lesson was this.

[00:01:17] Supna Doshi: Today, this person taught me this and I learned this about myself and this is where, I have whatever stuck energy or growth opportunity or whatever it's, but because you've lived, I mean you've lived [00:01:30] right through the Marine Corps, through the fire department, through. Like you've lived and had a lot of romantic and non-romantic relationships like that come in, friendships and then now having a partner and a child, like those relationships teach us so much.

[00:01:48] Dr. Carlos Garcia: Like understanding, right? Like the understanding of these things are always critical and important. Like culturally. 

[00:01:55] Dr. Carlos Garcia: Like there, there's a shift cognitively that had to happen for me to [00:02:00] even know or understand or, sit with the idea that relationships come into our lives for a reason.

[00:02:07] Dr. Carlos Garcia: So oftentimes when I'm doing work as a psychotherapist, people come in and they're like what do I, what do I do with this relationship? And what I offer them is you have. Two options. One of those options is anytime anything feels uncomfortable in your relationship, set boundaries or move away from it, or you use it.

[00:02:28] Dr. Carlos Garcia: I think we [00:02:30] have traditionally or in some cultures, it's just easier to move away from the relationships, especially in today's day and age, where like you can go on an app and with, within a couple of hours, have a date later on that evening. It's easy to move out of relationships.

[00:02:44] Dr. Carlos Garcia: It's easier to not do the hard thing. I think culturally we're set up that way. It's easier. Look at the divorce rate, right? But when I shifted my mindset to, oh, what's showing up in this relationship is like the [00:03:00] work that I could probably use or need to look at myself, right? This person is mirroring back to me where I potentially have some work to do.

[00:03:09] Dr. Carlos Garcia: That was a big shift. 

[00:03:12] Supna Doshi: What prompted that shift for you? 

[00:03:14] Dr. Carlos Garcia: Probably my delving into spirituality. It just started, as a psychotherapist it was like, oh yeah, great. Just set boundaries here. Or and sometimes that's necessary, right? We, I would never condone an abusive or threatening relationship in any [00:03:30] way.

[00:03:30] Dr. Carlos Garcia: But there's these different shades of it, right? So as a psychotherapist, before it was just like, oh, what do you need to do to get out of this relationship? Or what do you need to do to, fix the situation? And yes, maybe that is required at times, but yeah, through spirituality and understanding, like I think what you started to say oh, there's a purpose for these relationships in our lives.

[00:03:52] Dr. Carlos Garcia: A big, where I can pinpoint that is, is when I learned about the sort of idea of karma yoga. That, that you use the [00:04:00] things of your life as your work on yourself for spiritual growth. That was the big sort of pivot point for me. 

[00:04:08] Supna Doshi: We do have a tendency to move out of relationships, but then there are the relationships with parents and children that I feel like we're not so easy to move out of those relationships, but that we struggle so much in them because maybe that mind shift hasn't happened of oh, I don't have to be right and somebody else be wrong. [00:04:30] Like I can just, I can try to sit back and see what I need to learn. 

[00:04:34] Dr. Carlos Garcia: Yeah, those relationships that we can't easily move away from and those, those relationships often when we're talking about family. They can be the most triggering, right?

[00:04:44] Dr. Carlos Garcia: Like the, those are the ones that get us. 

[00:04:46] Supna Doshi: Yeah. I love I heard a talk by Ramdas and he said he went to India and he was on the spiritual path and he was on cloud nine, and he'd go home and his father would say to him, do you have a job? And back he would just [00:05:00] himself. 

[00:05:04] Ram Dass: It's hard to appreciate how deep in it we are.

[00:05:07] Ram Dass: How deep in the do-do of personality, how real it all is. You all think you have needs that must be met. You all think you have personality identities that must be honored. And even as I say that, I can feel you get tight defending your right to have those things. Isn't that true? I can [00:05:30] feel it in myself too.

[00:05:31] Ram Dass: I have a right to be angry. Damn I do. We'll wait, there's no rush. When you finish that trip, we'll still be here

[00:05:43] Ram Dass: because awareness isn't in time. It's just here. You want to enjoy your neurosis enjoy, have more, have another helping really climb in. We have gotten so thick in it and so you are either getting into it through abuse of this or [00:06:00] that, or you spend the rest of your life to getting out of it, which is all giving it that plane of reality.

[00:06:05] Ram Dass: So much juice, and you look at your relationships from the point of view of your separateness. How will you fulfill my needs? I'll be who you need me to be if you'll be who I need you to be. Now that kind of symbiosis is, that's all fine if you don't get trapped in it. But if you get trapped in it, it's a nightmare.

[00:06:27] Ram Dass: It's a nightmare rooted in your sense of [00:06:30] separateness. It's like feeding the illusion of the separateness, which is the root cause of the pain. So if the game is to be happy, the question is whether fulfilling your needs makes you happy, and whether fulfilling your needs makes you any happier than not fulfilling your needs.

[00:06:51] Ram Dass: It's an interesting life. It does for the moment, there's no doubt about it, but if you notice that when you live on the realm of needs, the minute one is done, [00:07:00] another one appears you have a hierarchy of needs. So like a motivational hierarchy. I need food now. I need ice cream. Now I need television. Now I need a cold drink.

[00:07:15] Ram Dass: Now I need some popcorn. Now I need to go to bed. If you notice that, you just go from one need to another and each one is and then ugh. And then ugh, and then,

[00:07:28] oh. 

[00:07:29] Ram Dass: Ugh. [00:07:30] It's extraordinary. 

[00:07:31] Dr. Carlos Garcia: It's extraordinary. If we can continue to come back to this idea of, what is this person showing me?

[00:07:40] Dr. Carlos Garcia: What is this person reflecting back to me that's in me that I can use this opportunity to take a look at to soften, to just observe. Yeah. Because the again, I'll come back to my mother. This was probably a couple months back, but I remember getting off the phone with her and just feeling so frustrated and [00:08:00] observing that frustration and then getting really sad because it's I don't hold anyone else to this standard in my life.

[00:08:07] Dr. Carlos Garcia: Not my clients, not my spouse, not my friends, I show up with so much love and just allowing space for them. It's oh my God, like what is this in me that I need to soften and take a look at? I don't want to treat her like that. I don't want to have her feel that way towards me.

[00:08:26] Supna Doshi: Did you answer the question? What is it? 

[00:08:28] Dr. Carlos Garcia: Yeah. I don't know. [00:08:30] I'm probably still working on it. The sort of psychological and familial dynamics that start to occur early on in life, right? It's my understanding of the way that my mother is from her own upbringing that oftentimes she doesn't, her tone or the things that she says or the attitude.

[00:08:49] Dr. Carlos Garcia: Is often not even in her control, but a pro, a byproduct, right? Of, of her own upbringing and her own traumas and her own stuff and her own life experiences. [00:09:00] And that allows me to create a little space where I can give her forgiveness. So it's a deeper understanding of who she is as a human being and what her work is on this earth that allows me to move out of a place of feeling triggered or reacting to her.

[00:09:14] Dr. Carlos Garcia: To a place of pausing, taking a moment and responding to her from a place of love and compassion and patience and not always right. Like it just, those are moments, yeah. 

[00:09:26] Supna Doshi: I think that's what it is. It's like there are moments when we're human and there [00:09:30] are moments when we can step away from it and find our center and be very grounded and compassionate and.

[00:09:39] Supna Doshi: That's the E, that's the ebb and flow of it at all. I think with children. It's just been so eyeopening for me to see how much of my parents stuff was put onto me and how hard I try not to put any of my stuff on my [00:10:00] own children and to shield them from everybody else's stuff because they've got their own stuff.

[00:10:06] Dr. Carlos Garcia: It. Yeah. I find it's so much easier to give kids compassion and patience, right? 'cause we have this site, like they don't know any better. I thought I would not be anything like my parents. And then I had my son and I was like, okay, the both of them are coming through loud and clear the ways I can, for example.

[00:10:28] Dr. Carlos Garcia: Feels like something silly, but it's there. [00:10:30] My son will be eating and I just if he's making a big mess, I'm like getting all uptight and anxious, or I have to wipe his face 'cause his face is all, and I'm like, oh, this is my mother. People make fun of me. Like I always have to have like shoes on or sandals on, like wherever I go.

[00:10:47] Dr. Carlos Garcia: And that's my mother. My mother screaming at me of always having shoes on. Your feet are gonna get dirty. You're gonna get sick. Something bad's gonna happen. Yes. And then now I see it showing, we just, [00:11:00] anytime, with my son it's there or the impatience that, that often I, I experienced with my father with my son who doesn't, just doesn't understand or knows any better.

[00:11:10] Dr. Carlos Garcia: But I'm I, I see it arising. And I, I think that I need to give myself some love and compassion there and realizing. How deeply we can be wired and conditioned by those environments that we spent so much time in, especially during those, early [00:11:30] formative developmental years where our brain and behaviors are taking root.

[00:11:34] Supna Doshi: What are in the relationships that you've had, what are some things that maybe you remember where you learned something about yourself? You just talked about the shoes in your mom like that. Totally. It's oh, that's why I do what I do. But can you think of like any relationships where you've had people like have revealed to you that, oh, like this is something new about my, about me that I didn't know.

[00:11:59] Dr. Carlos Garcia: I [00:12:00] remember when I first met my current partner, Christina, and we were six months into the relationship, seven months, and we had moved in. Together and our, it was our first argument, which I can't even recall what it was about, but I remember she said something that, upset me and I got up.

[00:12:24] Dr. Carlos Garcia: I just to get up and walk away from the conversation, leave the room. And the [00:12:30] thought that arose after I got up was like, you know what? I don't need this shit. I'm out of here. I just need to pack my shit and leave. And the next thought and this this is what, where the shift was.

[00:12:39] Dr. Carlos Garcia: The next thought was like, wow, Carlos, why is that your response? It was my response because, I, I. If we go into the psychodynamics of it I grew up in a home where I didn't feel seen or heard or validated, and I learned to put up walls and push people away. Shut down. So like, when [00:13:00] I'm not feeling seen or heard or validated I shut down. And but here was this beautiful moment because she didn't say she didn't threaten me. She didn't say anything nasty. She didn't even raise her voice. She, we were just trying to have a loving conversation.

[00:13:13] Dr. Carlos Garcia: So what I learned in that moment was like, oh, love and patience are the greatest mirrors to reflect back to us what's going on for us internally. This is someone that like for as long as I've known her, has the capacity to do that, right? To just [00:13:30] allow the stuff that is mine to spill out and then just hold it with like love and compassion.

[00:13:36] Dr. Carlos Garcia: You can't help but have to look inward and almost from this place of just like love, be like, I need to work on this, on myself. I need to look at this. That was a big moment for me. 

[00:13:49] Supna Doshi: I think mine has definitely been more recent. It's just been, and the relationships that I. The people coming in and outta my life, like [00:14:00] just everything about the experience has been chipping away at everything that I thought was true.

[00:14:10] Supna Doshi: And while the first few times it was very unnerving and I was very scared and it was very fearful because I was so grounded in that foundation. This. I feel like I have enough balance to be able to [00:14:30] sit back and say, oh, look at me to see that, oh, I'm not, any of the things that I thought, I'm not any of the things that people have told me.

[00:14:39] Supna Doshi: I'm, I don't have to fit in anybody else's box. I don't have to be a certain way or do certain things or. Whether it's culturally or because I'm a woman or because I'm in a role, like I can just take each situation and [00:15:00] choose how I wanna be in that moment, and it doesn't have. Just being able to a step back and say, okay what can I learn about myself from this experience?

[00:15:11] Supna Doshi: Yeah. I'm not 20, I'm 47 now, so it has a different, it's completely different. But that those relationships and those experiences can just be what they are to reveal more about me that I didn't know. And that they can [00:15:30] really just be a learning and an exploration and just being curious about things in the moment and not have all of these attachments to them and judgements to them.

[00:15:43] Supna Doshi: And yes, while very liberating to be in that space when you move out of that space. It's very earth shattering because you're really breaking the mold of what you have been for 40 years. 

[00:15:59] Dr. Carlos Garcia: [00:16:00] You said such a key word there. Attachment. I have found in my experience as I work with my attachments, like relationships is one of those like really sticky places where attachments can show up, in a pretty strong way, yeah. Wired from our earliest years for connection and, attachment styles, one of the things I've been working on lately is that idea of like, when people are not showing up for me, one that oftentimes that's my [00:16:30] perception that I'm projecting on into the world.

[00:16:32] Dr. Carlos Garcia: But two, that when they don't, instead of me having some. And usually a negative one, right? Either pride or, anger or resent that maybe that's God or the universe's way of teaching me how to show up for myself, how to be okay with not, with being alone or with [00:17:00] not having everyone support how I'm feeling or what I'm thinking or right, like walking alone in the world.

[00:17:06] Dr. Carlos Garcia: And it, when I shifted that and started to experience it that way it's been this beautiful sort of letting go of oh, I can stand within myself not needing anyone. Not from this defensive. I don't need anyone ego, stuff, but from this inner groundedness of if I needed to walk alone in [00:17:30] this world, I can do so beautifully with courage, with bravery and like fully honoring, who

[00:17:36] Supna Doshi: I'm curious how you separate that from loneliness.

[00:17:41] Supna Doshi: That's where I get stuck. Yes, I can show up beautifully for myself and yes, like when I show up for others, I'm all in from day one. Like I am a hundred percent there. All of me, I, you get all of me. But when people don't mirror that, [00:18:00] which it is so hard to do, it's impo, it's an impossible expectation to have of anybody that when I can settle in the place that yes, I can be alone, and I love being alone and doing things alone, but then I find that line of loneliness that I can't seem to place it.

[00:18:19] Supna Doshi: And maybe it's 

[00:18:21] Dr. Carlos Garcia: this idea of loneliness. It is something I've had to navigate throughout my life just because of, for lots of different reasons. [00:18:30] Again, I felt my perception coming out of my childhood was that I was very alone. My parents were there physically, but they didn't get me. They didn't understand my sensitivity, right?

[00:18:41] Dr. Carlos Garcia: There wasn't space for my emotions, my thoughts, my feelings, and so I often felt very alone. As an adult, I often, whether it was for work or for any number of reasons, was always moving to a new city by myself. It was this ex, person I just loved to [00:19:00] explore and move places and, in the service of, finding myself or finding my career, whatever I was doing at that time, there was just lots of moments where I spent alone.

[00:19:09] Dr. Carlos Garcia: So it's something that I. Now can reflect back like, oh, I had lots of opportunities to work on that. I think part of what helps me digest it now, one is just a deeper understanding that like my truth is that we are all at our core, very compassionate and loving human beings. And [00:19:30] that if we act in ways opposed to that, it's often because of.

[00:19:35] Dr. Carlos Garcia: Something that lives in us that we learned somewhere along the way. Some, some messaging, some programming, right? That other people also feel, pain and, cut themselves off from hurt. Who wouldn't? So like a deeper understanding of other humans helped me to understand myself and how I wanna navigate loneliness.

[00:19:55] Dr. Carlos Garcia: But I think a big part of what shows up now is the recognition [00:20:00] that at some point I have to leave all of this. At some point I have to leave, or my soul has to leave All of it behind. Everyone I've ever loved, everyone I've ever known, I. And whether it's supposed to be that way or not, I want to see what it feels like as a human.

[00:20:22] Dr. Carlos Garcia: Yeah. To be alone. To be utterly alone. And that piece 

[00:20:27] Supna Doshi: I do when you can talk with somebody and have a zoom [00:20:30] out perspective, and it's oh yeah. At the end of travel.

[00:20:39] Dr. Carlos Garcia: Christmas day with Christina's grandmother, who's now, who's I think, turning 97 a couple weeks or 98, and she currently like resides in a like small part of the home where her parents live. But like anytime we go over, she's just there alone, right? There's a somebody that [00:21:00] comes and attends to her during the day, but like I noticed that she spends countless hours day and night.

[00:21:07] Dr. Carlos Garcia: Just sitting there alone, sitting in this bed, she's bedridden and culturally we might think so many she's getting to die. We can it so many different ways, but. That can be really scary for someone to imagine when they get to that point in their life. My dad before he passed this year was like at a nursing home most days, right?

[00:21:28] Dr. Carlos Garcia: Like he was dealing with dementia. [00:21:30] So most days it's not like you could talk, but he's right. He's his soul is in there. And just in these long periods of quiet and nothing and no interaction and start. Earlier than 50, that, that feels anxiety provoking. It feels scary. 

[00:21:48] Supna Doshi: Terrifies me.

[00:21:49] Dr. Carlos Garcia: Terrifi terrifies me. Yeah. I don't want that to be terrifying for me. And it's not from a place of fear. It's really from a place of like, how can I be in like utter peace at that stage? [00:22:00] If I can 

[00:22:03] Dalai Lama: ness old age part of our life, it come now better to look death. Part of our life. Sooner or later, it'll come.

[00:22:17] Dalai Lama: Now, important is while we are alive, our res life should be meaningful. Meaningful means, if possible, help other if not, at least [00:22:30] rest and harming other, that's a meaningful life. Okay? Then at the end, come. You will not have any regret. I carry my life, honestly, truthfully, more compassionately and I done something good for others.

[00:22:53] Dalai Lama: Then at the end of come, you feel happy.[00:23:00] 

[00:23:00] Dalai Lama: Then according to religious tradition, if there is God God will look after you. If no, God see we ourself self-creation. Yeah. 'cause of the self-creation. So you done meaningful life. So that's guarantee your next life will be happy, nice life. So that's the [00:23:30] nontheistic religious tradition.

[00:23:33] Dalai Lama: There's no creator. But oneself as a creator. So goes once on the later part of our life. Much depend on early part of your life study and including exercise and then the result good result come later part of your life. Similarly, this life, we carry meaningful [00:24:00] life. Helping other this life utilize for something good, for other, more compassionate way, then you see death effect next life.

[00:24:14] Dalai Lama: So therefore the death is something like, change our clothes become dirty old, then time come to change. Similarly, this body, become too old or too old, then time come to change. [00:24:30] Okay? So look that way. Otherwise you see that is something mystery and dark. So you may get feeling of, I saw too much anxiety, fear like that.

[00:24:47] Dalai Lama: But if you know about the death and I think. Either istic religion, believe God or non-theistic religion. Believe yourself you [00:25:00] can carry your life meaningful way then doesn't guarantee so at the end, no regret. Okay. 

[00:25:12] Dr. Carlos Garcia: Thank you for listening to this episode of the podcast, the Human Experience Podcast.

[00:25:17] Dr. Carlos Garcia: We're so grateful to have shared this time with you. 

[00:25:20] Supna Doshi: As we continue recording new episodes, we'd love to hear from you. Share your thoughts, questions, or topics you'd like us to explore and tell us about your own [00:25:30] spiritual journey. We wanna connect with you. 

[00:25:33] Dr. Carlos Garcia: Give us a call at (800) 791-3884 and leave us a voicemail.

[00:25:39] Dr. Carlos Garcia: You might just be featured on a future episode of the podcast. 

[00:25:43] Supna Doshi: Thank you for being part of our community. Until next time, keep walking your path with peace, love, and purpose.

 

Credit:

Ram Dass clip https://youtu.be/onaXHzAi-aI?si=CoPbiriEYCLbEC5f

Wayne Dyer: https://youtu.be/bP8moNSVkCs?si=wu6ZimgScYM4Q4BU

Dalai Lama: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OIYMMfLEKY8

 

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