EP 56: Healing from Narcissistic Abuse & Toxic Relationships with Marla Bollak

In this episode of That's Where I'm At, host Laura sits down with Marla Bollak, an Interpersonal Relationship Coach and Certified Sacred Depths Coach trained in NLP, neuro-coaching, and trauma. Marla’s mission is to empower professionals to clear blocks from within themselves and from toxic relationships in the workplace or family. Her holistic approach integrates the body, mind, emotions, and energetics. She specializes in working with highly functioning, successful professionals who have read all the books, attended all the seminars, tried all the things — with some success — yet the problem remains.

Together, Laura and Marla explore:

• Healing from narcissistic abuse and how childhood trauma affects adult relationships
  
  
• How trauma responses like fawning develop and why nervous system regulation is essential
  
  
• The power of an empathetic witness in healing
  
  
• How healing shifts your energy, helping you break free from toxic cycles
  
  
• The role of vulnerability and compassion in long-term growth and recovery
  
  

Whether you’re on the path to healing or supporting someone who is, this episode offers practical tools, hope, and encouragement.

Key Topics & Timestamps

Marla’s Background and Healing Journey (00:02:58) Marla shares her childhood experiences, her healing journey, and her motivation for coaching others.

Why People Don’t Intervene (00:08:28) Marla and Laura discuss conflict avoidance, enablers, and the challenges of getting support from others.

Clients’ Experiences and Trauma Responses (00:09:24) Marla describes common issues clients face, trauma responses like fawning, and the importance of nervous system regulation.

The Role of the Empathetic Witness (00:12:31) Marla explains the importance of having an empathetic witness in healing and how memories can be changed.

Growth Through Healing and No Longer Attracting Bullies (00:15:49) Marla and Laura talk about using adversity for growth and how healing changes their reactions to toxic people.

Energetics and No Longer Attracting Abuse (00:17:06) Marla explains how energetic shifts mean toxic people no longer affect or are attracted to you.

Triggers, Healing with Family, and Vulnerability (00:17:59) Laura shares about being triggered, healing with her children, and the importance of vulnerability in family healing.

Excuses vs. Reasons for Trauma Responses (00:19:09) Marla reframes “excuses” as reasons for trauma responses, encouraging self-compassion.

Powerful Quotes from the Episode

Laura, 00:00:34, 'Keeping secrets will make you sick, and they always come to light in the end.'

Marla, 00:04:07, 'Don’t give up on yourself.'

Laura, 00:07:17, 'I spent 33 years with someone who made me feel like I was the problem every time, no matter what.'

Laura, 00:07:17, 'You deserve to trust your gut again. You deserve to trust you.'

Marla, 00:06:20, 'People would see me being abused in full daylight and nobody stood up for me. They acted like it was normal.'

Laura, 00:12:13, 'What I found was that I wasn’t being loved the way I needed to be loved.'

Laura, 00:19:02, 'We’ve had a lot of good healing and it’s taken a lot of vulnerability to get there.'

RESOURCES:

• YOU’RE NOT CRAZY, RECLAIMING YOUR SANITY AND SELF-WORTH AFTER NARCISSISTIC ABUSE ebook: GET IT HERE
• MARRIED TO A "NICE" GUY: GETTING OVER NARCISSISTIC ABUSE: SHOP HERE
• FOLLOW THE PODCAST: http://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com
• PRIVATE FACEBOOK SUPPORT GROUP: https://www.facebook.com/groups/marriedtoaniceguy/
• COACH WITH LAURA: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/coachwithlaura

Connect with Marla Bollak

Website:  https://marlabollak.com/

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/marla/

Healing takes vulnerability — but it leads to deeper connection.

Podcast Produced and edited by the team at ResilientVoiceMedia.com

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