EP 70: Unmasking the "Man of God": Gabrielle Burton on Spiritual Abuse, Narcissism, and Identity Restoration

In this episode of "That's Where I'm At," host Laura sits down with Gabrielle Burton, a Christian Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who specializes in the intersection of faith and clinical mental health. Gabrielle’s expertise isn't just professional—it’s deeply personal. Growing up as the "Golden Child" of a narcissistic pastor, she lived the confusing reality of reconciling a charismatic public persona with the severe emotional abuse that happened behind closed doors.

Gabrielle shares her journey of "performing for love" and how her upbringing in a high-control religious environment shaped her calling to help others heal from spiritual abuse and "church hurt." Together, she and Laura pull back the curtain on how narcissists hide in plain sight within church systems, the psychological toll of "playing dead" to survive, and the path to reclaiming an identity that isn't tied to performance.

 

Meet the Guest: Gabrielle Burton

Gabrielle Burton is a Christian Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, author, content creator, and podcast host passionate about helping people heal from trauma, overcome abuse, and walk fully in their God-given calling. With over 10 years of experience, she specializes in narcissistic and spiritual abuse, church hurt, and identity restoration—bridging biblical truth with clinical mental health care.

Gabrielle earned her Bachelor’s degree in Communications from Bethel University and has an extensive clinical background spanning foster care, hospital intensive outpatient programs, and trauma-focused therapeutic retreats. She is the author of "The Ultimate Guide to Becoming a Gold Digger: Discovering the Hidden Treasures Within" and hosts the YouTube podcast "Hosting Heaven." A former member of the Grammy Award–winning ensemble "Sounds of Blackness," Gabrielle continues to use her background in singing and creative storytelling as a tool for healing and impact.

 

Key Topics & Timestamps

The "Golden Child" Experience (00:03:15): Gabrielle describes the moving target of her father’s approval and being treated as an extension of his ego.

Public Persona vs. Private Reality (00:05:40): The difficulty of reconciling a father who is a "great storyteller" and pastor with the man who inflicted severe mental and emotional abuse at home.

Performing for Love (00:08:22): How being a "parentified child" taught Gabrielle that her value was tied to her gifts and "putting on a happy face."

The God Complex (00:15:30): Gabrielle recalls the "Made in My Father's Image" portrait—a chilling example of a narcissist’s god complex and lack of boundaries.

Narcissism in Church Systems (00:19:45): A deep dive into how high-control religious environments prime women for abuse through rules on submission and silence.

Peacemakers vs. Peacekeepers (00:24:10): Gabrielle clarifies the difference: Peacekeepers stay silent to survive, while Peacemakers (like Jesus) confront toxicity to bring truth.

The "Narc Fog" and Social Rejection (00:29:55): Discussion on the anterior cingulate—how our brains register social rejection from a community as a physical threat to survival.

The Madonna-Whore Complex (00:32:40): Gabrielle explains this psychological splitting and how narcissists use it to manipulate and devalue their partners.

Authenticity as "Narcissist Repellent" (00:36:15): Why finding your own voice and setting boundaries is the quickest way to end a narcissistic cycle.

 

Powerful Quotes from the Episode

Gabrielle: "Narcissism is being more worried about what people think about you than what God thinks about you."

Gabrielle: "You play dead in order to survive... you stop questioning things because it’s almost more crazy-making to try to have a different reality than just to go with the flow."

Laura: "I remember those lectures... like, do I need to be here for this? Can you just record yourself? It’s ridiculous."

Gabrielle: "Rules without revelation equals resentment, which looks like rebellion."

 

RESOURCES:

• COACH WITH LAURA: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/coachwithlaura

• YOU’RE NOT CRAZY ebook: GET IT HERE

• MARRIED TO A "NICE" GUY: GETTING OVER NARCISSISTIC ABUSE: SHOP HERE

• JOIN THE NICE GUY RECOVERY COMMUNITY: https://www.skool.com/nice-guy-recovery-community-1517

FOLLOW Gabrielle:

• WEBSITE: https://linktr.ee/gabrielleburtontherapy

• INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/gabriellemburtontherapy

• FACEBOOK: https://www.youtube.com/@gabriellemburton

 

"Healing begins the moment you stop performing for a system and start showing up for yourself."

 

Podcast Produced and edited by the team at ResilientVoiceMedia.com

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