Cracking The Coping Code
Authentic Men's Group podcast
Cracking The Coping Code Do you wish you could quit your unhealthy coping mechanisms or bad habits? Many of us find ourselves trapped in cycles of behavior that don't serve us well. Whether it's substance abuse, avoidance, negative self-talk, excessive screen time, emotional eating, isolation, procrastination, overworking, or aggression, porn, these coping mechanisms are familiar yet unhelpful tools we often use to self-soothe. It's crucial to remember that resorting to these habits doesn't make us bad people; it's merely our way of attempting to regulate our distressing emotions. Think...
info_outline
The Vulnerability Myth (Part 3)
Authentic Men's Group podcast
Developing Emotional Autonomy in Relationships How do we navigate this vulnerability? By building emotional Autonomy. This means taking ownership of your emotions—understanding them, and managing them. It’s about knowing yourself and being responsible for your emotional state rather than numbing out or blaming others. Emotional Autonomy vs. Emotional Immaturity: Emotional Immaturity: “You made me feel this way.” / “I’m fine” (when it’s not true). Emotional Autonomy: “I feel this way. It’s okay to feel this. I’m going to own this emotion and use my resources to support...
info_outline
The Vulnerability Myth (Part 2)
Authentic Men's Group podcast
Emotional Autonomy is about owning your emotions and managing them in a way that strengthens your relationship with yourself without harming others in the process. It's learning to take responsibility for what you feel and working through those emotions in a healthy, constructive way that respects both your well-being and the well-being of those around you. Autonomy involves having the freedom and capacity to act according to one's own principles, values, and interests while taking responsibility for the consequences of those actions. In essence, autonomy is about self-determination,...
info_outline
The Vulnerability Myth (Part 1)
Authentic Men's Group podcast
The Vulnerability Myth (Part 1) Let’s face it— dating and relationships can be a minefield for men. On one side, we’re told to open up, be vulnerable, and share our emotions. But when we do, the response isn’t always what we expect. Sometimes, it’s met with anger, confusion, or even panic. Other times, it feels like the person across from us wants to jump in and fix our problems as if we can’t handle them ourselves. It’s a tricky balance. Here’s the truth: being emotionally aware and understanding how to regulate our feelings is critical for men. But vulnerability alone...
info_outline
Shadow Work & The Enneagram (Part 3)
Authentic Men's Group podcast
What is “Shadow Work”? Shadow Work involves digging into the parts of ourselves we've hidden away because they seem too ugly, weird, or unacceptable. This survival tactic might help us through childhood, but it wreaks havoc on our adult lives, leading to inauthenticity. Shadow Work is about embracing your whole self – the good, the bad, and the ugly – and integrating these parts into your life. The Enneagram and Shadow Work The Enneagram is a powerful tool for understanding our personality and the shadow parts we hide. Each of the nine Enneagram types has qualities that...
info_outline
Shadow Work (Part 2)
Authentic Men's Group podcast
Shadow Work (Part 2) Today, we're diving into a topic that’s as crucial as it is uncomfortable: authenticity. Let me set the stage for this podcast. Picture this: a man finds his marriage on the brink of falling apart. He's convinced he's doing everything he "should" do to keep it together, yet he feels like he's constantly falling short. Growing up, he learned that showing certain emotions or traits of himself like being “too excited” or “too hyper” could jeopardize his relationships and get him in trouble with his parents – "boys don't cry," "toughen up," “Good...
info_outline
Introducing The Shadow
Authentic Men's Group podcast
The Shadow is all those parts of ourselves we’ve shoved into the dark because we were told they’re unacceptable. This is what we call repression – unconsciously hiding these aspects to fit in and feel loved. And no shame. This helped us survive as kids. But as adults, we take it a step further with suppression – consciously choosing to hide these parts, leading to inauthenticity. Resources we mentioned to start engaging in your own shadow work: Book: Podcast:
info_outline
Authentic Grief - Finding Meaning in Your After (Part 4)
Authentic Men's Group podcast
Chapter #7 Suicide The word “”committed” is usually used in the context of crimes. 2016 suicide was ranked the 10thcause of death in the US. Pg 116 men die from suicide 4x more then women. Pain is a natural reaction to death but suffering is what our mind does to us. 118 Death by suicide is not a selfish act or even a choice. It’s a sign of a mind that needs help. 114 The path to freedom from the suffering caused by our minds is through finding meaning. Pg 118 There are many paths to meaning, and if you search for them, you will eventually find them. 119 Give the...
info_outline
Authentic Grief - Finding Meaning in Your After (Part 3)
Authentic Men's Group podcast
Authentic Grief: Finding Meaning In Your After In this series of podcasts we want to address the topic of grief. Grief is something we all experience so we want to take an authentic look at this shared experience. David Kessler wrote a book as a 6th stage of grieving titled Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief. We will be recording this podcast series as an overview to this book and be inviting you to a conversation about grief and how we can approach it through meaning. What is Grief? Grief is the response to the loss of something deemed important or essential, particularly to the...
info_outline
Authentic Grief - Finding Meaning in Your After (Part 2)
Authentic Men's Group podcast
Authentic Grief: Finding Meaning In Your After In this series of podcasts we want to address the topic of grief. Grief is something we all experience so we want to take an authentic look at this shared experience. David Kessler wrote a book as a 6th stage of grieving titled Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief. We will be recording this podcast series as an overview to this book and be inviting you to a conversation about grief and how we can approach it through meaning. What is Grief? Grief is the response to the loss of something deemed important or essential, particularly to the...
info_outlineMen often struggle with understanding the difference between rest and laziness. We either rest and feel lazy or we are lazy and don't get rest.
Here are some definitions of each:
Laziness: the quality of being unwilling to work or use energy; idleness.
Rest: to cease work or movement in order to relax, refresh oneself, or recover strength.
Laziness is apathetic, just letting whatever happens happen.
Here are 3 approaches to rest well:
1. Rest takes work.
2. Rest gives attention to the natural cycles and rhythms of life.
3. Rest Involves Mindfulness.
Rest is both intentional diligence and intentional negligence.
Diligence is knowing some of the activities that we are going to do when we have down time; things that truly refresh, rejuvenate and recharge us.
It would be a good idea to have certain activities ready to go and up and running so that we can just move into them when we get an opportunity.
We might suggest 3 to 5 different restful activities that you move to when you have time to do so.
Negligence is an important concept to discuss. Negligence is often considered to be a negative trait for it means there has been failure to take proper care in doing something. That is exactly the thought here. Only what we are saying is not a failure to take proper care, it is actually a success. It is a success to leave office stress at the office, it is a success to leave the email unopened, it is a success to keep the phone in the care while watching your kids weekend games. Planned negligence in this way actually shows you care because you are putting all your attention to the activity (or should we say the inactivity) at hand.
Pay attention to sleep cycles, daily cycles, weekly cycles, monthly cycles and yearly cycles.
In order to learn and turn bad days in to good data we must be mindful.
The definition of mindfulness is “a mental state achieved by focusing one’s awareness on the present moment, while calmly acknowledging and accepting one’s feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations.”
When we are lazy, our mind is distracted. We’re busy trying to avoid our anxiety and stress at work. We just want to shut down our mind. We want to veg out. Our mind cannot observe, because seeing something clearly is precisely what we’re trying to avoid.
Conclusion.
"In our hurried fast paced culture where busyness is the norm, rest keeps us from being like the rest."
“If we are tired, we may learn to rest so we don’t quit.”
“Rest. Sleep. Let your spirit have the peace it deserves, let your mind have the dream it desires and let your body have the strength it wants.”