The Vulnerability Myth (Part 1)

The Vulnerability Myth (Part 1) 

Let’s face it— dating and relationships can be a minefield for men. On one side, we’re told to open up, be vulnerable, and share our emotions. But when we do, the response isn’t always what we expect. Sometimes, it’s met with anger, confusion, or even panic. Other times, it feels like the person across from us wants to jump in and fix our problems as if we can’t handle them ourselves. It’s a tricky balance.

Here’s the truth: being emotionally aware and understanding how to regulate our feelings is critical for men. But vulnerability alone isn’t a magic key that unlocks deeper relationships or solves all our problems. In fact, without the right understanding and approach, vulnerability can create more confusion, leaving us and our partners feeling lost.

So, in today’s episode, we’re diving into what it really means to be vulnerable as a man in today’s world—how to find that balance between strength and openness, and why emotional awareness is the foundation for real, healthy connection. We’ll bust some myths, share some stories, and give you practical steps to navigate this space with confidence. Let’s get into it.

So what is the Vulnerability Myth?

• Reid’s Setup of the Vulnerability Myth :

The "Vulnerability Myth" tells us that if men just open up, share their emotions, and show vulnerability to their partner, they’ll automatically be seen as good men, and magically, all their problems will disappear. But here’s the truth: vulnerability alone isn’t a magic wand. It’s important, yes—but it’s only part of the equation.

When your partner asks you to be more vulnerable, they aren’t looking for you to fix every problem in your relationship. What they really want is to know that you’re aware of your inner world and that you can manage your emotions in a healthy way. They want to see you not just feeling things but moving through those emotions with intention—whether that’s through self-care, leaning on your support system, or simply knowing when to take a step back.

Ultimately, a man who understands what he’s feeling and knows how to navigate those emotions with the right tools and a supportive community becomes someone who feels steady and trustworthy—someone who is both safe and desirable as a partner.

As Connor Beaton puts it, “A man who is not aware of his emotional state, denies it, or cannot control his emotions when they arise, is seen as a potential danger, weak, and a threat—not only to himself but to his family, his partner, and women in general.”

“Vulnerability, when met with misunderstanding or negativity, can do more harm than good.”

“Men often feel encouraged to open up but then face emotional responses from their partners that push them away. It creates a cycle of disconnection.”

Reflection: “Have you ever felt pressured to be vulnerable but didn’t know how or felt punished when you tried? How have these experiences shaped your view on vulnerability?”

Myths About Vulnerability

• Myth 1: Vulnerability is a Weakness

• “Vulnerability is an act of courage, not weakness. It’s about showing up despite uncertainty and risk.”

• Myth 2: Men Don’t Do Vulnerability

• “Our lives are full of uncertainty and emotional exposure. Leaning into these dynamics is the essence of vulnerability.”

• Myth 3: I Can Go It Alone

• “Humans are wired for connection. Belonging is crucial for our mental well-being, and groups like AMG provide that space.”

• Myth 4: Trust Comes Before Vulnerability

• “Trust and vulnerability go hand-in-hand. Vulnerability fosters trust when done with intention.”

• Myth 5: Vulnerability is Disclosing Everything to Everyone

• “True vulnerability requires discernment. Without boundaries, it becomes manipulation or oversharing.” I love this statement by Brene’ Brown.  If we are sharing vulnerabilities just for the sake of sharing, then maybe we have an ulterior motive.