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Formating Forgiveness

Authentic Men's Group podcast

Release Date: 11/22/2022

Authentic Grief - Finding Meaning in Your After (Part 4) show art Authentic Grief - Finding Meaning in Your After (Part 4)

Authentic Men's Group podcast

Chapter #7   Suicide The word “”committed” is usually used in the context of crimes.  2016 suicide was ranked the 10thcause of death in the US. Pg 116 men die from suicide 4x more then women.  Pain is a natural reaction to death but suffering is what our mind does to us. 118 Death by suicide is not a selfish act or even a choice. It’s a sign of a mind that needs help. 114 The path to freedom from the suffering caused by our minds is through finding meaning. Pg 118 There are many paths to meaning, and if you search for them, you will eventually find them. 119 Give the...

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Authentic Grief - Finding Meaning in Your After (Part 3) show art Authentic Grief - Finding Meaning in Your After (Part 3)

Authentic Men's Group podcast

Authentic Grief: Finding Meaning In Your After In this series of podcasts we want to address the topic of grief. Grief is something we all experience so we want to take an authentic look at this shared experience. David Kessler wrote a book as a 6th stage of grieving titled Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief. We will be recording this podcast series as an overview to this book and be inviting you to a conversation about grief and how we can approach it through meaning.  What is Grief? Grief is the response to the loss of something deemed important or essential, particularly to the...

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Authentic Grief - Finding Meaning in Your After (Part 2) show art Authentic Grief - Finding Meaning in Your After (Part 2)

Authentic Men's Group podcast

Authentic Grief: Finding Meaning In Your After In this series of podcasts we want to address the topic of grief. Grief is something we all experience so we want to take an authentic look at this shared experience. David Kessler wrote a book as a 6th stage of grieving titled Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief. We will be recording this podcast series as an overview to this book and be inviting you to a conversation about grief and how we can approach it through meaning.  What is Grief? Grief is the response to the loss of something deemed important or essential, particularly to the...

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Authentic Grief (Part 1) show art Authentic Grief (Part 1)

Authentic Men's Group podcast

Authentic Grief: Finding Meaning In Your After In this series of podcasts we want to address the topic of grief. Grief is something we all experience so we want to take an authentic look at this shared experience. David Kessler wrote a book as a 6th stage of grieving titled Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief. We will be recording this podcast series as an overview to this book and be inviting you to a conversation about grief and how we can approach it through meaning.  What is Grief? Grief is the response to the loss of something deemed important or essential, particularly to the...

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Authentic Men's Group podcast

How effective are resolutions?  Do they work?

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Authenticity In An Artificial World Part 2 show art Authenticity In An Artificial World Part 2

Authentic Men's Group podcast

In a culture of “artificial intelligence” and “virtual reality” it can be a challenge to be authentic. In this podcast we continue this conversation and give 4 key factors of how to start unlocking our authentic self.  Michael Kernis and Brian Goldman developed an  They came up with a technical description of authenticity as "the unimpeded operation of one's true or core self in one's daily enterprise." People who score high in authenticity are also more likely to respond to difficulties with effective coping strategies, rather than resorting to drugs, , or...

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Authenticity in the Holidays show art Authenticity in the Holidays

Authentic Men's Group podcast

In this podcast we talk about what it is like to live authentically during the holidays. We reference the 8 qualities and how we personally will look to incorporate these into our holidway experience with friends and family. 8 Qualities of Authenticity:  Curiosity Calm Clarity Connectedness Confidence Courage Creativity Compassion  

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Authenticity in an Artificial World show art Authenticity in an Artificial World

Authentic Men's Group podcast

In a culture of “artificial intelligence” and “virtual reality” it can be a challenge to be authentic. Authenticity means erasing the gap between what you firmly believe inside and what you reveal to the outside world. Adam Grant Living an authentic life with courage is meeting your fear, looking it in the eye, but diving in anyway because it is how you want to show up for yourself. Brene Brown The idea of authenticity is a powerful shaping force for individual identity, a functional state, a way of moving through the world. Authenticity is also a feeling, and research shows it feels...

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Regretfully Yours (Part 2)  show art Regretfully Yours (Part 2)

Authentic Men's Group podcast

Regretfully Yours (Part 2)  The Four Categories of Regret from part 1 are: 1. Foundational Regrets - “If only I had more…” 2. Boldness Regrets - “If only took a risk …” 3. Moral Regret - “If I had that decision back I would have…” 4. Connection Regrets - “If I would have stayed connected to…”   How to Respond to Regret: 1. Be Aware of it (this is what the first podcast was dedicated to) Identify them in detail Explore why we have them. The keys to awareness 2. Express it - Do not deny regrets but express them with a select few trusted confidants....

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Regretfully Yours (Part 1) show art Regretfully Yours (Part 1)

Authentic Men's Group podcast

Regret is one of our most powerful feelings and regrettably one of the most misunderstood. Regret covers a myriad of circumstances from wishing we would have eaten oatmeal instead of the cinnamon danish this morning for breakfast to feeling remorse for not telling a loved one how much we loved them before they died. The Four Categories of Regret: 1. Foundational Regrets - did not make choices that give enough stability and security Not saving enough money or not paying attention to health. “If only I had more…” 2. Boldness Regrets - did not take a chance on doing something I should have...

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FORMATING FORGIVENESS 

If individuals could apply themselves to pursuing this one thing it could vastly improve personal and relational health. This one thing to pursue is a deep understanding and application of… forgiveness. 

Forgiveness is a basis for a life well lived. In order to have a good establishment of life it is good to understand the foundational truths of forgiveness.

8 Truths of Forgiveness:

1. Forgiveness is for me, not the offender

This is the reminder that we always have a choice no matter the extent of the pain and hurt that comes from the offense. This choice is empowering and compassionate towards ourself.

It is an invitation to grow and expand. It’s always an inside job. Start by looking where you may need to forgive yourself or transform and change the expectations you put on yourself and others. Make this a constant daily practice.

2. Forgiveness frees me from the power of the one who hurt or offended me

Forgiveness gives the power to set prisoners free, only to find that the prisoner was me. 

3. Forgiveness does not mean to forget, ignore or deny the offense

The brain is designed to remember to keep us from harm and danger. Emotional pain is processed just like physical pain on a cellular level. Much like we need to know where the lion was that could jump out of the bush and kill us we must remember where the emotional danger is with others in our lives. 

The goal isn't to forget, it is to forgive and live freely from what we have learned and continue to learn. Include and transcend -Richard Rohr- 

4. Forgiveness does not equal restoration

I am not responsible for another’s response. If I forgive for the purpose of establishing restoration then it becomes conditional forgiveness. I want an end result. If I forgive just because I forgive and want to be free of any need for retribution that is transformational. 

5. Forgiveness does not equal trust

There often is a confusion between forgiveness and trust. Just because I forgive doesn’t mean I have to trust.  Forgiveness is given; trust is built. 

As I think of this it would be like buying an investment property with an old, run down building on it.  In order to make the property a worthy asset there would be two things needed.

  1.         Tear down the old building, clear the land and make the lot new again – Forgive
  2.         Build up from the old by putting a new building on the reclaimed land that would create value – Trust

"Forgive your enemies but never forget their names." -John F. Kennedy-

6. Forgiveness is not an option, it’s a state of being

We are not the gatekeepers of whether someone is forgiven.

Forgiveness is already happening right now, right now and right now. Are you going to accept it or create your own hell? Separation from love. Get in the flow of constant present forgiveness. 

Not too long ago I asked someone for forgiveness and she said “I will have to think about it”  Whether she thought about it or not I knew I was free. 

7. Forgiveness is humbly accepting that everyone is limited

We are all limited, as a matter of fact to be human is to be limited.  At our limits is where we can be acknowledged and given grace. We are all alike in that we all have limitations, shortcomings. 

It is about compassion not comparison. It is not about comparison of our limitations so we can feel better in our successes, it is about compassion that we all have limitations and acknowledging that my strength is given so that I can give it to another. 

We are all fellow strugglers in the dark trying to find our way home and forgiveness is the flashlight that we pass to each other in the darkness. 

8. Forgiveness is giving up hope that the past can ever be changed

We are to have hope and hope is for the future. The way to have powerful hope for the future is to not waste it on the past; a past that can never be changed. 

The word is for-give. Give it forward not give it backward. If I can reconcile my past by bringing it to the present I then have a new ledger to work with for the future. Then if I can bring that new ledger and eliminate debts I have a freedom for today.