Introducing The Shadow
Authentic Men's Group podcast
The Shadow is all those parts of ourselves we’ve shoved into the dark because we were told they’re unacceptable. This is what we call repression – unconsciously hiding these aspects to fit in and feel loved. And no shame. This helped us survive as kids. But as adults, we take it a step further with suppression – consciously choosing to hide these parts, leading to inauthenticity. Resources we mentioned to start engaging in your own shadow work: Book: Podcast:
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Authentic Grief - Finding Meaning in Your After (Part 4)
Authentic Men's Group podcast
Chapter #7 Suicide The word “”committed” is usually used in the context of crimes. 2016 suicide was ranked the 10thcause of death in the US. Pg 116 men die from suicide 4x more then women. Pain is a natural reaction to death but suffering is what our mind does to us. 118 Death by suicide is not a selfish act or even a choice. It’s a sign of a mind that needs help. 114 The path to freedom from the suffering caused by our minds is through finding meaning. Pg 118 There are many paths to meaning, and if you search for them, you will eventually find them. 119 Give the...
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Authentic Grief - Finding Meaning in Your After (Part 3)
Authentic Men's Group podcast
Authentic Grief: Finding Meaning In Your After In this series of podcasts we want to address the topic of grief. Grief is something we all experience so we want to take an authentic look at this shared experience. David Kessler wrote a book as a 6th stage of grieving titled Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief. We will be recording this podcast series as an overview to this book and be inviting you to a conversation about grief and how we can approach it through meaning. What is Grief? Grief is the response to the loss of something deemed important or essential, particularly to the...
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Authentic Grief - Finding Meaning in Your After (Part 2)
Authentic Men's Group podcast
Authentic Grief: Finding Meaning In Your After In this series of podcasts we want to address the topic of grief. Grief is something we all experience so we want to take an authentic look at this shared experience. David Kessler wrote a book as a 6th stage of grieving titled Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief. We will be recording this podcast series as an overview to this book and be inviting you to a conversation about grief and how we can approach it through meaning. What is Grief? Grief is the response to the loss of something deemed important or essential, particularly to the...
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Authentic Grief (Part 1)
Authentic Men's Group podcast
Authentic Grief: Finding Meaning In Your After In this series of podcasts we want to address the topic of grief. Grief is something we all experience so we want to take an authentic look at this shared experience. David Kessler wrote a book as a 6th stage of grieving titled Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief. We will be recording this podcast series as an overview to this book and be inviting you to a conversation about grief and how we can approach it through meaning. What is Grief? Grief is the response to the loss of something deemed important or essential, particularly to the...
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The Solution to Resolutions (Re-Release)
Authentic Men's Group podcast
How effective are resolutions? Do they work?
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Authenticity In An Artificial World Part 2
Authentic Men's Group podcast
In a culture of “artificial intelligence” and “virtual reality” it can be a challenge to be authentic. In this podcast we continue this conversation and give 4 key factors of how to start unlocking our authentic self. Michael Kernis and Brian Goldman developed an They came up with a technical description of authenticity as "the unimpeded operation of one's true or core self in one's daily enterprise." People who score high in authenticity are also more likely to respond to difficulties with effective coping strategies, rather than resorting to drugs, , or...
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Authenticity in the Holidays
Authentic Men's Group podcast
In this podcast we talk about what it is like to live authentically during the holidays. We reference the 8 qualities and how we personally will look to incorporate these into our holidway experience with friends and family. 8 Qualities of Authenticity: Curiosity Calm Clarity Connectedness Confidence Courage Creativity Compassion
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Authenticity in an Artificial World
Authentic Men's Group podcast
In a culture of “artificial intelligence” and “virtual reality” it can be a challenge to be authentic. Authenticity means erasing the gap between what you firmly believe inside and what you reveal to the outside world. Adam Grant Living an authentic life with courage is meeting your fear, looking it in the eye, but diving in anyway because it is how you want to show up for yourself. Brene Brown The idea of authenticity is a powerful shaping force for individual identity, a functional state, a way of moving through the world. Authenticity is also a feeling, and research shows it feels...
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Regretfully Yours (Part 2)
Authentic Men's Group podcast
Regretfully Yours (Part 2) The Four Categories of Regret from part 1 are: 1. Foundational Regrets - “If only I had more…” 2. Boldness Regrets - “If only took a risk …” 3. Moral Regret - “If I had that decision back I would have…” 4. Connection Regrets - “If I would have stayed connected to…” How to Respond to Regret: 1. Be Aware of it (this is what the first podcast was dedicated to) Identify them in detail Explore why we have them. The keys to awareness 2. Express it - Do not deny regrets but express them with a select few trusted confidants....
info_outlineASSERTIVENESS IN THE ESSENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS OF LIFE
In this podcast we discuss the importance of using assertiveness in the essential relationships in our life. We use the paradigm Circle of Relationships.
Circle #1 – The SOURCE Relationship
It is where I discover self.
It is the internal and the eternal.
It is where I find my purpose and passion
Know what we want personally and fulfill that desire.
The only time to let people put you in a box is just before your funeral.
Self-awareness is the key to self-assertiveness
The best contribution to learning to be assertive is to be learning about myself. I can’t teach others how to respect me if I haven’t learned what there is to respect about myself.
It’s not who you are that holds you back, it’s who you think you’re not.
Assertiveness is not what you do, it’s who you are. Shakti Gawain.
Once we know what we want and we can express that in relationship. If we don’t, staying silent is like a slow growing cancer to the soul.
Circle #2 – The Intimate Partner Relationship
This is where we express the deepest self in the deepest way to another individual. This is the place of emotional and physical intimacy and is where sexual expression is made. It is one relationship that is committed and communicative. It the relationship of deepest authenticity and vulnerability.
If we meet our own needs we can approach the intimate relationship with openness in communication. Communication is ‘seeking to understand before being understood’. When we have met our own needs with assertiveness we can approach the relationship communicating what we desire in a connected and intimate relationship.
Be assertive while being attentive.
Sex is a key focus in this and we can approach it with assertiveness and submission. Good sex is when it is difficult to tell who is enjoying the most, the one who is submitting or the one who is dominant and then reversing those roles to continue the intimate adventure.
Some of the most miserable men I have had in my office are those who have lived by the mantra of ‘a happy wife makes a happy life’
Circle #3 and 4 - Friendships, Family
Circle #3 – The Select Few Relationships
These are relationships of deepest bond and devotion
Here is where I experience vulnerability and validity without sexuality.
They establish earnest trust and are the best frienships of life.
Circle #4 – The Few
These are people I do life with. They are there for support in the celebratory and sad events of life.
These are the people that are going to be there at funerals and weddings.
I can be authentic but often not vulnerable in these relationships
What is good the personal is good for the couple is good for the family.
Conclusion
Practicing assertiveness in all of the Circle of Relationships will be a constant struggle.
Some relationships will require us to be more aggressive, some relationships will require us to be more passive.
We can have confidence in this, we won’t get it right all the time.
If we humbly acknowledge this we can move toward healthy growth in our assertiveness and this can have a beneficial effect on our circle of relationships from the inside out.
For more information on the circle of relationships check out our podcasts below:
Circle 1:
https://www.amg.buzz/podcast/episode/20787b4e/the-1-relationship-source
Circle 2:
https://www.amg.buzz/podcast/episode/1a64511e/the-2-relationship-significant-other
Circle 3:
https://www.amg.buzz/podcast/episode/83f7d9e4/the-3-relationship-best-friends
Circle 4:
https://www.amg.buzz/podcast/episode/855970d9/the-4-relationship-friends-and-family