Episode 39 | Living Rooms are for LIVING
Hey White Women
In this episode, Daniella and Rebecca unpack what happens when white belief in institutional fairness collides with the lived reality of systemic injustice. Daniella reflects on a moment of betrayal in traffic court and how it cracked open her assumptions about justice, privilege, and whiteness. The conversation weaves through topics like the myth of rule-following as protection, the military's blending of cultural vernaculars, and the unique disorientation white women face when systems stop working for them. They also explore how white women’s fear of “doing it wrong”—especially...
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Episode 38 | Growth Is Uncomfortable
Hey White Women
In this powerful conversation, Daniella Mestyanek Young and Rebecca unpack how systems—from the military to corporate culture to parenting ideologies—often rely on cult-like tactics to demand obedience, erase individuality, and sell comfort as a virtue. Together, they examine the roles of love bombing, future faking, and authoritarian control in everyday life, and ask what it means to reclaim personal autonomy after indoctrination. We talk about what happens when you stop waiting for permission, why “just doing what you're told” is a dangerous lesson to teach children, and how...
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Episode 37 | Are Red-Heads Black?
Hey White Women
In this episode of Hey White Women, Daniella Mestyanek Young and Rebecca dive into the layered and surprising discourse around a viral TikTok trend that claimed “all redheads are Black.” What starts as a joke becomes a powerful lens for unpacking themes of othering, cultural belonging, and the danger of conformity in white-dominant spaces. The hosts explore how redheaded individuals are often dehumanized through humor, hypersexualization, and alienation—even as whiteness shields them from systemic racism. This conversation becomes a springboard into deeper critiques of whiteness,...
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Episode 36 | Growth Before Activism
Hey White Women
In this episode, Daniella and Rebecca engage in a deep conversation about the complexities of white supremacy, the importance of listening to Black voices, and the need for white women to confront their own roles in social justice movements. They explore hypothetical scenarios regarding protests, the significance of community, and the dangers of ignoring the perspectives of marginalized groups. The discussion emphasizes the necessity of personal growth and genuine engagement in anti-racism work, while also addressing the cyclical nature of blame and the illusion of safety in activism. ...
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Episode 35 | Colors for Community
Hey White Women
In this conversation, Rebecca and Daniella explore the intersections of fashion, identity, and race, discussing how personal expression through clothing can challenge societal norms. They delve into the complexities of navigating whiteness in diverse spaces, the cultural disconnect evident in social interactions, and the significance of color as a form of resistance. The discussion also touches on the importance of critiquing whiteness, understanding cult dynamics through the Byte model, and the value of personal narratives in shaping identity. They emphasize the role of community in fostering...
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Episode 34 | Boom Boom Beige
Hey White Women
In this conversation, Daniella and Rebecca explore the complexities of platform building, the evolution of ideas, and the impact of cultural narratives on personal identity. They discuss the importance of vulnerability in leadership, the tenets of white supremacy, and the challenges of navigating capitalism and professionalism. The dialogue emphasizes the significance of shared experiences and the need to reopen historical conversations while addressing the dehumanization inherent in capitalist systems. In this conversation, Rebecca and Daniella explore the intersections of capitalism,...
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Episode 33 | Protest or Parade?
Hey White Women
In this conversation, Daniella and Rebecca explore the complexities of race, activism, and the impact of online criticism, particularly on black women. They discuss the intersection of political identity and extremism, the role of white women in social movements, and the importance of listening to marginalized voices. The conversation delves into the dynamics of whiteness in society, the power of storytelling, and the journey of self-discovery in the context of anti-racism. Ultimately, they emphasize the need for community support and the role of women in driving social change. In this...
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Episode 32 | "Lickies and Chewies?"
Hey White Women
This conversation delves into the complexities of race, privilege, and activism, particularly focusing on the experiences of black women and the reactions of white women in the context of social justice. The speakers discuss the historical and current realities of systemic oppression, the implications of language, and the importance of listening and learning from marginalized voices. They also explore the nature of groupthink, the illusion of safety, and the responsibilities of individuals in activism. In this conversation, Daniella and Rebecca explore the complexities of group dynamics, the...
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Episode 31 | Defensiveness and White Identity
Hey White Women
In this conversation, Rebecca and Daniella explore the complexities of race, identity, and the dynamics of power within societal structures. They discuss the defensiveness often exhibited by white women in conversations about race, the impact of language, and the role of white women in perpetuating systems of oppression. The dialogue emphasizes the importance of acknowledgment, healing, and the responsibility that comes with privilege. They also touch on the significance of community and the need for open, honest discussions about race and identity. In this conversation, Rebecca and Daniella...
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Episode 30 | Speaking equitably with confidence
Hey White Women
In this conversation, Daniella and Rebecca delve into the complexities of cult dynamics, particularly focusing on the Nation of Islam. They explore personal experiences with cults, the intersection of race and cults, and the societal responses to these groups. The discussion highlights the role of white women in these conversations, the importance of listening and learning from diverse experiences, and the manipulative tactics employed by cults. The speakers emphasize that conflict can be a necessary part of understanding and navigating these topics, and they advocate for a more nuanced...
info_outlineThis conversation explores the cultural significance of Kendrick Lamar's Super Bowl performance, delving into themes of resistance, identity, and the complexities of race and gender in America. The speakers discuss the symbolism in music and dance as forms of cultural expression and resistance, the role of white women in social change, and the importance of resilience in the face of societal challenges. They also reflect on the dynamics of privilege and the need for a deeper understanding of identity and humanity in the context of systemic oppression. In this conversation, Rebecca and Daniella explore themes of diversity, gender roles, and the dynamics of conservatism versus liberalism. They discuss the impact of fear on compliance and resistance, the complexity of identity, and the importance of understanding fear in the context of freedom. The conversation also touches on the significance of diversity in society and the nuances of cultural appropriation and authenticity. In this conversation, Daniella and Rebecca explore various themes surrounding leadership, identity, and community dynamics. They discuss the importance of surrounding oneself with diverse perspectives, the complexities of multitasking in gender roles, and the journey of deconstructing personal identity. The dialogue also touches on the significance of humanity in confrontational situations, the impact of fear and panic on community responses, and the necessity of rehumanizing individuals in power dynamics. Ultimately, they emphasize the power of cultural engagement and the potential for radical acts of humanity to foster change.
Connect with Rebecca at:
The White Woman Whisperer Website
The White Woman Whisperer Patreon
The White Woman Whisperer TikTok
Connect with Daniella at:
You can read all about that story in my book, Uncultured-- buy signed copies here. https://bit.ly/SignedUncultured
For more info on me:
Patreon: https://bit.ly/YTPLanding
Cult book Clubs (Advanced AND Memoirs) Annual Membership: https://bit.ly/YTPLanding
Get an autographed copy of my book, Uncultured: https://bit.ly/SignedUncultured
Get my book, Uncultured, from Bookshop.org: https://bit.ly/4g1Ufw8
Daniella’s Tiktok: https://bit.ly/3V6GK6k / KnittingCultLady
Instagram: https://bit.ly/4ePAOFK / daniellamyoung_
Unamerican video book (on Patreon): https://bit.ly/YTVideoBook
Secret Practice video book (on Patreon): https://bit.ly/3ZswGY8
Takeaways
- Kendrick Lamar's performance is rich in cultural symbolism.
- Dance and music serve as powerful forms of resistance.
- The focus should be on resistance rather than opposition.
- Survival under fascism is a reality for many.
- White women have a crucial role in social change.
- Aging should be embraced as a part of life.
Chapters
00:00 Cultural Reflections on Kendrick Lamar's Performance
06:04 The Power of Resistance Over Opposition
11:57 The Role of White Women in Social Change
14:58 Aging, Resilience, and Future Planning
17:56 The Distinction Between Believing in Yourself and Believing Yourself
21:11 Cultural Narratives and the Price of Privilege
23:56 Understanding the Dynamics of Power and Control
27:01 Navigating the Complexities of Identity and Humanity
32:13 Diversity and Gender Roles in Society
34:06 The Cult of Conservatism vs. Liberalism
36:02 Fear, Compliance, and Resistance
39:19 Understanding Fear and Its Impact
42:21 The Complexity of Fear and Freedom
44:35 Navigating Anxiety and Control
46:46 Ego Death and the Complexity of Identity
49:05 Role Models vs. Soul Models
51:21 Cultural Appropriation and Authenticity
56:31 Diversity and Its Importance in Society
01:04:13 The Power of Perspective in Leadership
01:05:00 Multitasking and Gender Dynamics
01:06:29 Deconstructing Identity and Anti-Identity
01:08:47 Navigating Professional Identity and Personal Choice
01:10:35 Conformity and Cultural Identity
01:12:47 The Role of Humanity in Confrontation
01:15:20 Fear, Panic, and Community Response
01:18:27 Consequences of Actions and Community Solidarity
01:20:57 Rehumanizing the Other
01:23:55 Radical Acts of Humanity
01:25:36 Cultural Beef vs. Personal HateProduced by Haley Phillips