4188 Unpack the Old
Create Your Now with Kristianne Wargo
There is something about this time of year that stirs up a sense of possibility. The air shifts, routines reset, and whether you have children heading back to school or not, fall carries with it a quiet invitation to begin again. But you cannot step into something new if your arms are full of everything old; unpack the old and leave it behind. Think about the last time you traveled with too many bags. Every doorway became an obstacle. Every step felt heavier than it needed to. You spent more energy managing your luggage than enjoying the journey. Desire to be supported and encouraged by other...
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4187 Love the In-Between
Create Your Now with Kristianne Wargo
Have you ever paused in front of a mirror and thought, almost? Almost healed. Almost confident. Almost the woman you know you're meant to be — but not quite there yet. That pause, that space between where you were and where you're going, can feel like the loneliest place in the world. But what if that's actually one of the most sacred places where you need to love the in-between? Because most of us have been taught — by the world, by our own expectations, sometimes even by voices inside the church or community or your job or your family — that we earn the right to love who we see only...
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4186 Lead with Your Gifts
Create Your Now with Kristianne Wargo
There is something inside of you that the world needs. Not the version of you that has been shaped and polished by degrees, training programs, and years of professional experience — though those things matter. But it runs deeper. Before you ever sat in a classroom or clocked into your first job, God planted something in you that was never meant to collect dust; lead with your gifts. Too many of us have spent years building lives around what we've learned while quietly setting aside what we've been given. We show up to work with our skill sets. We volunteer with our expertise. We check the...
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4185 And That's A Wrap!
Create Your Now with Kristianne Wargo
You cross the finish line. You hit the milestone. You reach that thing you've been praying over, grinding toward, and believing God for — and you exhale. And that's a wrap. Or is it? When you accomplish a goal or finally touch a long-held dream, do you stop? Do you sit down, dust off your hands, and call it done? Or does something inside you whisper, "There's more?" It's very interesting how we see life. The moments can feel like a year, when it might have been only a day. But nothing worth having comes in a moment. Desire to be supported and encouraged by other like-minded women? Join...
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4184 Come and See
Create Your Now with Kristianne Wargo
There are seasons in life when the darkness feels closer than it should. When the weight of what you're walking through presses in from every side and you start to wonder if the light you once felt so sure of is still there. Maybe it's grief. Maybe it's uncertainty. Maybe it's a weariness that has settled so deeply into your bones that you can't remember what rest feels like. Wherever you are right now, whatever shadow has crept into the edges of your story, do something simple and holy — come and see. Come and see that the light has not gone out. Desire to be supported and encouraged by...
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4183 Don't Let the Calendar Replace the Connection
Create Your Now with Kristianne Wargo
You married your best friend. You chose each other. And somewhere along the way, the life you're building together started pulling you apart — not because the love faded, but because everything else got louder. You're not fighting. You're not even frustrated with each other most days. You're just missing each other; sitting in the same house but living in different rhythms. And that quiet distance? It didn't happen because of one bad day. It happened one full week at a time. So when life crowds in on your marriage, don't let the calendar replace the connection. However, the biggest threat to...
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4182 Listening Is Love
Create Your Now with Kristianne Wargo
It's not that unheard of to want to explain everything to your children. We carry decades of life behind us, and we think if we can just say the right thing at the right time, we can spare them the pain. But regardless of their age and stage of life, what they need is your presence. Not your lecture. Not your five-point plan. Your presence; listening is love. You don't have to have all the answers. You don't have to be the problem-solver every single time. What they need from you is ears to hear. Desire to be supported and encouraged by other like-minded women? Join us at the . ...
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4181 The Heat Is On
Create Your Now with Kristianne Wargo
There are moments in life when everything feels like it's pressing in — the deadlines, the demands, the weight of expectations, and the relentless pace that never seems to slow down. And right in the middle of all of it, you realize something: the heat is on. Not just the kind that comes from outside pressure, but the kind that rises from within, the fire that tells you it's time to move, to grow, to step into the fullness of who you are and who you are created to be. No matter what happens in your day, at some point you have to be willing to go the extra mile, play full out, and do whatever...
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4180 The Soil No One Talks About
Create Your Now with Kristianne Wargo
People will tell you about the blooming, the breakthrough, and the moment they finally stepped into the calling God placed on their life, where everything clicks because He has been planning it all along. But nobody really talks about the soil no one talks about — the stuff underneath the surface that made the bloom possible in the first place. The seasons that felt more like a burial than planting. The prayers that seemed to bounce off the ceiling. The plans you laid out in good faith that God, in His gentle sovereignty, folded up and tucked away. And if you've been in one of those...
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4179 Set the Pace for Your Daily Race
Create Your Now with Kristianne Wargo
Have you ever watched a tennis match and noticed the winner isn't always the one hitting the hardest? Sometimes it's the one who knows when to slow down, when to push forward, and when to reset between points. With the US Open in full swing right now, there's no better time to be reminded that the way we approach our daily lives mirrors what's happening on those courts in Flushing Meadows. It's time to set the pace for your daily race — not someone else's, not the world's, but the one God specifically designed for you. Tennis is a game of rhythm. Every elite player has a routine between...
info_outlineWe are wired to want to be right. It's part of being human — this deep pull toward controlling our circumstances, defending our perspective, and standing firm on the hill we've chosen. And in most areas of life, that drive can serve us well. But marriage isn't like most areas of life. Marriage is two people, two histories, two sets of emotions, and two very real desires to be right, all living under the same roof and loving the same God. So what happens when those desires collide? Things get loud. Things get heated. And in that moment, you have a choice. You can rise to the chaos, or you can refuse to meet it where it lives. Please don't match the madness.
Because the madness doesn't want resolution. It wants company. It wants you to raise your voice because your spouse raised theirs. It wants you to fire back with that thing you've been holding onto. It wants to pull you into a storm that neither of you started on purpose, but both of you are now fueling with everything you've got.
Desire to be supported and encouraged by other like-minded women? Join us at the Kairos FREE Online Community. https://createyournow.com
#RelationshipBuilders #CreateYourNow #LoveAndMarriage
And what that madness produces is nothing that matters.
- It doesn't grow trust.
- It doesn't build intimacy.
- It doesn't bring clarity.
What it does is bury the very things that need to come to the surface.
- The hurt beneath the anger
- The fear beneath the frustration
- The longing beneath the silence
When we match the madness, we cover up what's real with what's reactive. We trade depth for volume. And the stuff that actually needs to be revealed and refined — the places where God is trying to do His deepest work in us and between us — stays buried under the rubble of words we didn't mean and tones we can't take back.
Proverbs 15:1 tells us, "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger."
Notice it doesn't say a correct answer turns away wrath. It says a gentle one. You can be absolutely right in what you're saying and absolutely wrong in how you're saying it.
Gentleness isn't weakness. It's warfare, the kind that fights for your marriage instead of against your spouse.
So what does it look like, practically, to not match the madness?
It looks like a pause before a response. It looks like lowering your voice when everything inside you wants to raise it. It looks like choosing the person over the point.
James 1:19 reminds us to be "quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry."
That's one of the most intentional, powerful things you can do in the heat of a hard moment.
When you choose not to match the madness, you aren't losing. You're leading. You're saying, This marriage matters more than this moment. You're creating space for the Holy Spirit to move in a room where pride was trying to take up all the oxygen.
So the next time it gets a little crazy — and it will, because you're two imperfect people doing this beautifully imperfect thing together — ask yourself: Am I about to match the madness, or am I about to break the cycle?
Choose the cycle-breaker every time.
The K.I.S.S. ~ Break the cycle!
You've got to choose to break the cycle every time. Being truly humble and kind will take you further in your marriage than matching the madness.
1. Pause before you respond. Take a breath. Count to five. Walk to another room for two minutes if you need to. Refuse to let your first reaction become your final word.
"A pause isn't avoidance; it's wisdom wearing work boots. This gives your heart time to catch up with your mouth." ~ Kristianne Wargo
2. Speak to the person, not the problem. In the heat of a disagreement, shift your language from accusation to acknowledgment. Instead of "You always..." try "I feel..." Instead of proving your case, pursue your spouse. Remind them and yourself that you're on the same team, even when it doesn't feel like it.
3. Pray before you push. Before you push your point, pray. Even a silent, two-millisecond prayer — Lord, help me see my spouse the way You see them right now. That changes the temperature of the entire conversation.
"Humility doesn't come from trying harder; it comes from surrendering faster." ~ Kristianne Wargo
You don't have to win every argument to have a winning marriage. In fact, some of the strongest marriages are built by two people who consistently choose peace over proving a point. They choose each other!
Don't match the madness. Match the love that brought you together in the first place, and let God handle the rest. Let Him grow you and stretch you, because you're better together.
"Be present. Be incredible. Be YOU!!!"
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Cover Art by Jenny Hamson
Photo by Canva.com
Music by Mandisa - Overcomer
http://www.mandisaofficial.com
Song ID: 68209
Song Title: Overcomer
Writer(s): Ben Glover, Chris Stevens, David Garcia
Copyright © 2013 Meaux Mercy (BMI) Moody Producer Music (BMI)
One Songs (ASCAP) Ariose Music (ASCAP) Universal Music -
Brentwood Benson Publ. (ASCAP) D Soul Music (ASCAP) (adm. at CapitolCMGPublishing.com) All rights reserved. Used by permission.