413 Networking Done Very Badly. A Real-Life Lesson From Tokyo

I received this note following my attendance at a networking event run by one of the foreign Chambers of Commerce here in Tokyo.

“Dear Greg Story , I hope this message finds you well. It was a pleasure meeting you, and I truly enjoyed our conversation and the valuable insights you shared. Please feel free to reach out if there is anything I can assist you with. I would be delighted to stay connected and explore potential opportunities for collaboration. Thank you again for your time, and I look forward to speaking with you in the future. Best regards,”.

Frankly, I was shocked to get this note.  It was from a Japanese businessman, so bravo on the quality of the English.  It was sent that same afternoon, so well done on the cadence.   My shock was induced by the fact that we didn’t have anything even faintly resembling an insightful conversation.  Our conversation, such as it was, can be recorded as relatively brief. This note, upon receipt, came across as a “canned” response which felt as if he probably sends this out to every man and his dog, so totally non-tailored or personalised and therefore a comprehensive fail. 

He was in the property management field, he told me, and he made no effort to filter me to see if I was a prospect who could become a client.  Yet he bothered to send me this note.  What was the point?  Honestly, when we are networking, we need to do much better than this.

In my case, I only send follow-up notes to people who are high possibility prospects.  How do I know that?  I filter them during our conversation.  I only need a few pieces of information to work out if there is any potential gold in this conversation for my business. 

Their meishi or business card is the first filter. What is their position inside the company?  Are they a decision-maker who can buy my training?  For me, the second filter is company size.  If they are under thirty people, then the chances of us doing any in-house training delivery is slight. The modest numbers of staff make it hard to justify the expense.  However, they could be a candidate for sending even just one person to our public classes – a light and inexpensive option.  If they have over thirty, then in-house delivery is a possibility. 

The next filter is, do they have any need? On the back of my card, I list the following information:  “Soft skills” training, so that it is clear we are doing corporate training.  I have these categories: Leadership, Sales, Presentations, Communication, DEI (Diversity, Equity and Inclusion) and Executive Coaching, all prominently displayed.  On the spot, I go through these with the person I have just met explaining what we do. In a light-hearted manner, I then ask them if they need any of these?  But I am deadly serious about trying to unearth any hints regarding what would help them grow their business.   

Some people flippantly say, “we need all of them”.  That is okay, because I am not so easily deflected. I then push them for which one in particular would be the best for their people. I am trying to filter to see if there is a real need there or not.  If there is, I will tell them I will get back to them after the meeting and mention “let’s get together”.  I am conditioning them to have no surprise or resistance when my email turns up trying to set a time and date for our meeting.

If my filters eliminate them as a potential client, then I am pleasant, but I move on and try and find someone who is a buyer. Some people say to me they find they get stuck at networking events and spend the whole time talking to one person because they don’t know how to break off the conversation and meet other people.  Here is how I do it: “It has been a pleasure chatting with you.  Why don’t we try to meet some other people while we are here?  I look forward to catching up again in the future” and I shake their hand and simply walk away.

For networking and follow-up, the process has to be well organised and congruent.  There is no point sending a follow-up email to someone who is clearly not a prospect.  There is no point sending a follow-up email unless you have already set it up that you will do so, rather than doing it out of blue like this gentleman did with his all weather template.

I have used the example of my training company for the filters, but take your own industry sector and work out what you need to know to succeed in your business.  What would be some relevant filters you can apply to strangers to know which basket to place them in?

People who don’t make their living selling, hearing this brutal clarity, may feel this seems mercenary.  Trust me, they have no idea they are alive.  Sales is a rough and tough profession and a long way to the top if you want to rock and roll. Our most important tool is our time and how we use it.  We cannot be dilettantes and swan around in a daze, like most people I meet at networking events.  We have to be laser focused on getting new clients and we must let nothing distract us from that pursuit.

When civilians criticise me for this hardheaded businesslike approach, I just ask sweetly, “how do you find new clients when networking?”.  I then ask whether they think their own salespeople are strong enough in finding new buyers, and are they committed enough to growing the company by finding new clients?  Finally, I ask “what would be the impact if your salespeople adopted this approach and used their networking time as effectively as possible?”.  They go very quiet in response and cease their uneducated critique of this pro-salespeople’s hard won expertise, as they should.