How to Stop Treating Grief Like a System with Dr. Elijah Frazier Part 2
Release Date: 12/19/2025
The Grief Men Are Never Taught to Talk About with Coach Martize
Grieve That Sh!t
Episode Description “Grief does not disappear when you ignore it. It just gets heavier when you carry it alone.” In this episode of Grieve That Shit, Sharon Brubaker, grief specialist and founder of The Grief School, opens an honest conversation about men, grief, and emotional pain. After losing her nephew Austin, Sharon learned that grief is not just sadness. It is a full-body experience that affects thoughts, emotions, and the nervous system. And while grief impacts everyone, many men are taught early that strength means silence. This episode challenges the belief that “big boys...
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How to Grieve a Mother Who Was Your Best Friend with Nikki Part 2
Grieve That Sh!t
“She was more than her ending. And healing didn’t mean letting her go. It meant letting the pain stop running the show.” In Part 2 of this deeply personal episode of Grieve That Shit, Sharon Brubaker, grief specialist and founder of The Grief School, continues the raw conversation with Nikki about grieving a mother who was also her best friend. This episode moves beyond the loss and into what happens after the world keeps spinning and you’re still stuck. Nikki shares what it was really like to resist grief work, to believe that suffering was the only way to honor her mom, and to carry...
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How to Grieve a Mother Who Was Your Best Friend with Nikki Part 1
Grieve That Sh!t
“You were never meant to grieve quietly. Your emotions didn’t show up to hurt you. They showed up to help you process what just happened.” In this episode of Grieve That Shit, Sharon Brubaker, Certified Grief Specialist and founder of The Grief School, sits down with Nikki to talk about a kind of loss that cuts straight to the core. The loss of a mother who was also a best friend. After losing her nephew Austin, Sharon learned that grief isn’t one-dimensional. There are layers. And one of the most overlooked layers is the grief that comes from losing the person who knew you,...
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Your Grief Brain vs Your Grieving Heart
Grieve That Sh!t
“Your brain didn’t break when your person died. It’s just doing what it knows—trying to protect you from pain. But grief doesn’t live in your brain. It lives in your heart.” In this episode of Grieve That Shit, Sharon Brubaker, Certified Grief Specialist and founder of The Grief School, dives deep into one of the biggest truths about grief: you can’t think your way out of it. After losing her nephew Austin, Sharon discovered firsthand that grief isn’t logical—it’s emotional. Your brain tries to reason, fix, and explain the unexplainable, while your heart just breaks wide...
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How to Stop Treating Grief Like a System with Dr. Elijah Frazier Part 2
Grieve That Sh!t
In Part Two of this Grieve That Shit conversation, Sharon Brubaker and Dr. Elijah Frazier move past introductions and into the heart of what grievers struggle with most: choice, accountability, faith, emotions, and permission to heal. This episode challenges one of the most damaging beliefs grievers carry—that grief is something they must endure forever. Sharon and Dr. Frazier speak directly to the idea that pain is inevitable after loss, but staying trapped in suffering is not the only option. They talk honestly about how grief can steal joy, peace, and energy when we are not aware of the...
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How to Stop Treating Grief Like a System with Dr. Elijah Frazier Part 1
Grieve That Sh!t
In this episode of Grieve That Shit, Sharon Brubaker introduces a defining moment for The Grief School and the podcast. For the first time, she welcomes Dr. Elijah Frazier and shares the news that The Grief School is now powered by The Frazier Group. This is not an announcement episode filled with buzzwords or credentials. It’s a conversation about people, pain, and what real care actually looks like when someone is at their breaking point. Sharon and Dr. Frazier talk openly about why grief cannot be handled by systems, scripts, or one-size-fits-all solutions. They explore the difference...
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What Grief Is Not
Grieve That Sh!t
“Grief is not a mental illness. It’s not weakness. It’s not a checklist to finish or a line you’re supposed to move through. It’s love—with nowhere left to go.” In this episode of Grieve That Shit, Sharon Brubaker, Certified Grief Specialist and founder of The Grief School, gets brutally honest about everything grief isn’t. For too long, society has treated grief like a disorder to diagnose, a problem to medicate, or a series of stages to climb. But grief isn’t logical, linear, or tidy—it’s wild, unpredictable, and deeply human. Sharon unpacks why labeling grief as...
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Forever Changed But Not Broken
Grieve That Sh!t
“When your person died, a part of you died too. Not your whole self—but the version of you that only existed in connection with them. That’s the part grief takes. That’s what forever changed really means.” In this episode of Grieve That Shit, Sharon Brubaker, Certified Grief Specialist and founder of The Grief School, opens her heart about what it truly means to be forever changed—but not broken. After losing her nephew Austin and later her best friend Sharon, her life split into two: before and after. But in this episode, she invites you into the middle—the space between who you...
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When a Memory Hits You Like Fear
Grieve That Sh!t
Episode Summary: This episode cracks open one of the most frightening and misunderstood parts of grief: when a memory hits your body like a shock. You’re sitting still, lost in a moment with your person, and suddenly your stomach drops, your breath tightens, your heart races, and you remember all over again that they died. It feels like you’re grieving in two places at once. Sharon Brubaker takes you inside the neurobiology behind that jolt. She breaks down how the hippocampus pulls old memories like scenes from a movie, why the amygdala tags those memories as danger, and how your brain...
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Why Noise Feels Like an Attack In Grief
Grieve That Sh!t
Episode Summary: In this episode of Grieve That Shit, Sharon Brubaker talks about something most grievers never see coming: why normal sounds suddenly feel like an attack. The kids laughing, the microwave door slamming, a choir starting at church, a car alarm in the parking lot. Things you used to handle just fine now hit your body like lightning. Sharon walks you through what is really happening inside your grieving brain. She breaks down the amygdala, the nervous system, the HPA axis, and why grief flips all of them into survival mode. This is not you “being dramatic.” This is biology....
info_outlineIn Part Two of this Grieve That Shit conversation, Sharon Brubaker and Dr. Elijah Frazier move past introductions and into the heart of what grievers struggle with most: choice, accountability, faith, emotions, and permission to heal.
This episode challenges one of the most damaging beliefs grievers carry—that grief is something they must endure forever. Sharon and Dr. Frazier speak directly to the idea that pain is inevitable after loss, but staying trapped in suffering is not the only option.
They talk honestly about how grief can steal joy, peace, and energy when we are not aware of the choices we are making. Dr. Frazier introduces a powerful metaphor: your joy is on the auction block every day, and too often, people unknowingly give it away to pain, guilt, fear, or other people’s expectations.
The conversation also dives into faith, anger at God, and the pressure grievers feel to perform spirituality instead of telling the truth. Sharon and Dr. Frazier make it clear that real healing does not require pretending, suppressing emotions, or being “good” in your grief. It requires honesty, boundaries, and the willingness to do the work.
This episode speaks directly to the griever who feels stuck, judged, or afraid to move forward. It offers permission to feel fully, question deeply, and still choose healing.
🧠 Key Points Discussed:
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Why grievers often believe they have no choices and how that belief keeps them stuck
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The difference between pain and suffering in grief
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How joy and peace are quietly given away without awareness
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Why accountability is not punishment but empowerment
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The role of faith as a bridge, not a crutch
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Why being angry at God does not block healing
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The difference between feelings and emotions and why both matter
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Why natural emotions like anger, anxiety, sadness, and depression are not wrong
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How spiritual platitudes can invalidate grief and cause harm
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Why healing requires action, not waiting
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The importance of boundaries when you are grieving
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Why emotions need time and space to do their job
📓 Journal Questions for Reflection:
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Where do I feel like grief has taken away my choices?
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What pain am I experiencing, and where might I be adding suffering on top of it?
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In what moments do I notice my joy being “sold off” to other people or situations?
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What emotions am I afraid to feel fully?
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How have faith, beliefs, or expectations shaped the way I grieve?
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Where do I feel pressure to perform healing instead of living it honestly?
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What would it look like to give my emotions permission to do their work?
🩶 Conclusion:
Grief is not a script.
It is not a performance.
And it is not something you have to endure forever to prove your love.
You are allowed to feel anger.
You are allowed to question faith.
You are allowed to heal.
This episode reminds grievers that emotions are not the enemy. Suppressing them is. Healing does not come from pretending everything is okay. It comes from honesty, accountability, and choosing yourself again and again.
This is Grieve That Shit.
And this is where healing continues.