How to Stop Treating Grief Like a System with Dr. Elijah Frazier Part 2
Release Date: 12/19/2025
Stop Trying to Protect Your Child from Grief
Grieve That Sh!t
Episode Description “Your child doesn’t need the pain removed. They need you to help them move through it.” In this episode of Grieve That Sh!t, Sharon Brubaker, grief specialist and founder of The Grief School, breaks down one of the biggest mistakes parents make when their child is grieving. After losing her nephew Austin, Sharon learned that grief isn’t something you can protect someone from. Especially not your child. Because your kids already feel everything. They feel your silence. They feel your sadness. They feel what’s not being said. They just don’t have the words for it....
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The First Year of Grief Is Where Most People Get It Wrong
Grieve That Sh!t
Episode Description “Grief is already painful. But the way you’re trying to survive it might be making it harder.” In this episode of Grieve That Sh!t, Sharon Brubaker, grief specialist and founder of The Grief School, breaks down what most people unknowingly do in the first year of grief that increases their suffering. After losing her nephew Austin, Sharon learned that grief is not just about loss. It is about what happens when you’re left trying to survive something no one ever taught you how to process. The first year is the most confusing. The most painful. And the year you get...
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Why Your Brain Won’t Stop Replaying the Day They Died
Grieve That Sh!t
Episode Description “Your brain is not trying to hurt you. It’s trying to understand what just changed your entire life.” In this episode of Grieve That Sh!t, Sharon Brubaker, grief specialist and founder of The Grief School, breaks down why your mind keeps replaying the moment your person died. After losing her nephew Austin, Sharon learned that grief is not just emotional. It is a full body and brain experience that records life-altering moments with intense detail. The phone call. The hospital room. The last words. These moments stay vivid not because something is wrong with you, but...
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The Stories Grievers Never Get to Tell
Grieve That Sh!t
Episode Description “The part of your grief that hurts the most is often the part you never say out loud.” In this episode of Grieve That Sh!t, Sharon Brubaker, grief specialist and founder of The Grief School, talks about the stories grievers carry but rarely share. After losing her nephew Austin, Sharon learned that grief is not just about missing someone. It is also about the moments that changed everything—the phone call, the hospital room, the last words, the unanswered questions. These are the parts most people don’t talk about. Not because they don’t want to. But because they...
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Why You Still Feel Lost in Your Grief (And What No One Shows You)
Grieve That Sh!t
Episode Description “Grief doesn’t feel confusing because you’re broken. It feels confusing because no one ever showed you how to understand it.” In this episode of Grieve That Sh!t, Sharon Brubaker, grief specialist and founder of The Grief School, breaks down one of the biggest gaps in grief support: no one actually helps you understand your grief. After losing her nephew Austin, Sharon learned that grief is not just sadness. It is a full body experience that affects your sleep, your thoughts, your memory, your identity, and your daily life. And yet, most people are never given the...
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The Truth About Narcissists No One Tells You with Aisha
Grieve That Sh!t
Episode Description “You’re not stuck because you still love them. You’re stuck because of the attachment.” In this episode of Grieve That Sh!t, Sharon Brubaker, grief specialist and founder of The Grief School, sits down with a narc recovery coach and author of Toxic Charm to break down one of the most confusing and painful relationship dynamics people experience. After losing her nephew Austin, Sharon learned that grief is not just about death. It shows up anywhere attachment is broken. And when narcissistic patterns are involved, that attachment becomes even more intense,...
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What Is Your Grief Story
Grieve That Sh!t
Episode Description “Grief does not get louder because you are weak. It gets louder because it has nowhere to land.” In this episode of Grieve That Shit, Sharon Brubaker, grief specialist and founder of The Grief School, talks about something most grievers never receive after loss: a true witness to their grief story. After losing her nephew Austin, Sharon learned that grief is not just sadness. It is the mind and body trying to process something life changing that the world around you quickly moves on from. While everyone else returns to their normal life, the griever often finds...
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Why You Keep Repeating the Same Relationship Patterns with Sean
Grieve That Sh!t
Episode Description “Unprocessed grief does not disappear. It shows up in the way you attach, the way you fear, and the way you love.” In this episode of Grieve That Shit, Sharon Brubaker, grief specialist and founder of The Grief School, sits down with Sean Walker, a faith-based relationship coach who helps men and women understand attachment patterns, regulate their nervous systems, and stop repeating the same painful relationship cycles. After losing her nephew Austin, Sharon learned that grief is not just sadness. It is what happens when love has nowhere to land. And that same injury...
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Welcome To The Grief School
Grieve That Sh!t
Episode Description “Grief deserves care. It does not deserve to be shoved in a corner.” In this episode of Grieve That Shit, Sharon Brubaker, grief specialist and founder of The Grief School, pulls back the curtain and finally answers the question: What actually is The Grief School? After losing her nephew Austin, Sharon learned the hard way that grief is not something you “get over.” It cracks your heart open. It shifts your identity. It leaves you standing in the aftermath asking, What the hell am I supposed to do now? The Grief School was built for that moment. This episode walks...
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Grief, Addiction, and the Power of One Moment with Emily
Grieve That Sh!t
Episode Description “Healing happens in moments. And sometimes one moment changes everything.” In this episode of Grieve That Shit, Sharon Brubaker, grief specialist and founder of The Grief School, sits down with Emily, founder of Moment Cares — a full-service recovery and mental health support organization helping individuals and families navigate substance use, trauma, and emotional crisis. After losing her nephew Austin, Sharon learned that grief is not just sadness. It lives in the body. It hides in addiction. It shows up as anxiety, avoidance, overworking, numbing, and survival...
info_outlineIn Part Two of this Grieve That Shit conversation, Sharon Brubaker and Dr. Elijah Frazier move past introductions and into the heart of what grievers struggle with most: choice, accountability, faith, emotions, and permission to heal.
This episode challenges one of the most damaging beliefs grievers carry—that grief is something they must endure forever. Sharon and Dr. Frazier speak directly to the idea that pain is inevitable after loss, but staying trapped in suffering is not the only option.
They talk honestly about how grief can steal joy, peace, and energy when we are not aware of the choices we are making. Dr. Frazier introduces a powerful metaphor: your joy is on the auction block every day, and too often, people unknowingly give it away to pain, guilt, fear, or other people’s expectations.
The conversation also dives into faith, anger at God, and the pressure grievers feel to perform spirituality instead of telling the truth. Sharon and Dr. Frazier make it clear that real healing does not require pretending, suppressing emotions, or being “good” in your grief. It requires honesty, boundaries, and the willingness to do the work.
This episode speaks directly to the griever who feels stuck, judged, or afraid to move forward. It offers permission to feel fully, question deeply, and still choose healing.
🧠 Key Points Discussed:
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Why grievers often believe they have no choices and how that belief keeps them stuck
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The difference between pain and suffering in grief
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How joy and peace are quietly given away without awareness
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Why accountability is not punishment but empowerment
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The role of faith as a bridge, not a crutch
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Why being angry at God does not block healing
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The difference between feelings and emotions and why both matter
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Why natural emotions like anger, anxiety, sadness, and depression are not wrong
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How spiritual platitudes can invalidate grief and cause harm
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Why healing requires action, not waiting
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The importance of boundaries when you are grieving
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Why emotions need time and space to do their job
📓 Journal Questions for Reflection:
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Where do I feel like grief has taken away my choices?
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What pain am I experiencing, and where might I be adding suffering on top of it?
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In what moments do I notice my joy being “sold off” to other people or situations?
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What emotions am I afraid to feel fully?
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How have faith, beliefs, or expectations shaped the way I grieve?
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Where do I feel pressure to perform healing instead of living it honestly?
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What would it look like to give my emotions permission to do their work?
🩶 Conclusion:
Grief is not a script.
It is not a performance.
And it is not something you have to endure forever to prove your love.
You are allowed to feel anger.
You are allowed to question faith.
You are allowed to heal.
This episode reminds grievers that emotions are not the enemy. Suppressing them is. Healing does not come from pretending everything is okay. It comes from honesty, accountability, and choosing yourself again and again.
This is Grieve That Shit.
And this is where healing continues.