How to Stop Treating Grief Like a System with Dr. Elijah Frazier Part 2
Grieve That Sh!t
In Part Two of this Grieve That Shit conversation, Sharon Brubaker and Dr. Elijah Frazier move past introductions and into the heart of what grievers struggle with most: choice, accountability, faith, emotions, and permission to heal. This episode challenges one of the most damaging beliefs grievers carry—that grief is something they must endure forever. Sharon and Dr. Frazier speak directly to the idea that pain is inevitable after loss, but staying trapped in suffering is not the only option. They talk honestly about how grief can steal joy, peace, and energy when we are not aware of the...
info_outline
How to Stop Treating Grief Like a System with Dr. Elijah Frazier Part 1
Grieve That Sh!t
In this episode of Grieve That Shit, Sharon Brubaker introduces a defining moment for The Grief School and the podcast. For the first time, she welcomes Dr. Elijah Frazier and shares the news that The Grief School is now powered by The Frazier Group. This is not an announcement episode filled with buzzwords or credentials. It’s a conversation about people, pain, and what real care actually looks like when someone is at their breaking point. Sharon and Dr. Frazier talk openly about why grief cannot be handled by systems, scripts, or one-size-fits-all solutions. They explore the difference...
info_outline
What Grief Is Not
Grieve That Sh!t
“Grief is not a mental illness. It’s not weakness. It’s not a checklist to finish or a line you’re supposed to move through. It’s love—with nowhere left to go.” In this episode of Grieve That Shit, Sharon Brubaker, Certified Grief Specialist and founder of The Grief School, gets brutally honest about everything grief isn’t. For too long, society has treated grief like a disorder to diagnose, a problem to medicate, or a series of stages to climb. But grief isn’t logical, linear, or tidy—it’s wild, unpredictable, and deeply human. Sharon unpacks why labeling grief as...
info_outline
Forever Changed But Not Broken
Grieve That Sh!t
“When your person died, a part of you died too. Not your whole self—but the version of you that only existed in connection with them. That’s the part grief takes. That’s what forever changed really means.” In this episode of Grieve That Shit, Sharon Brubaker, Certified Grief Specialist and founder of The Grief School, opens her heart about what it truly means to be forever changed—but not broken. After losing her nephew Austin and later her best friend Sharon, her life split into two: before and after. But in this episode, she invites you into the middle—the space between who you...
info_outline
When a Memory Hits You Like Fear
Grieve That Sh!t
Episode Summary: This episode cracks open one of the most frightening and misunderstood parts of grief: when a memory hits your body like a shock. You’re sitting still, lost in a moment with your person, and suddenly your stomach drops, your breath tightens, your heart races, and you remember all over again that they died. It feels like you’re grieving in two places at once. Sharon Brubaker takes you inside the neurobiology behind that jolt. She breaks down how the hippocampus pulls old memories like scenes from a movie, why the amygdala tags those memories as danger, and how your brain...
info_outline
Why Noise Feels Like an Attack In Grief
Grieve That Sh!t
Episode Summary: In this episode of Grieve That Shit, Sharon Brubaker talks about something most grievers never see coming: why normal sounds suddenly feel like an attack. The kids laughing, the microwave door slamming, a choir starting at church, a car alarm in the parking lot. Things you used to handle just fine now hit your body like lightning. Sharon walks you through what is really happening inside your grieving brain. She breaks down the amygdala, the nervous system, the HPA axis, and why grief flips all of them into survival mode. This is not you “being dramatic.” This is biology....
info_outline
The Hidden Fight Inside Every Griever
Grieve That Sh!t
🎙️ Episode Summary: In this powerful episode of Grieve That Sh!t, Sharon Brubaker opens the door on one of the most misunderstood experiences in grief: the silent battle happening inside your body. After the loss of her nephew Austin, Sharon discovered that grief isn’t just sadness. It’s a full body takeover. It’s your mind racing, your stomach twisting, your heart pounding, and your nervous system trying to protect you in ways that end up keeping you stuck. Through honest storytelling and deep reflection, Sharon explains why so many grievers stay busy, stay strong, and stay silent...
info_outline
The Things I Wish I Had Done Differently
Grieve That Sh!t
🎙️ Episode Summary: In this deeply personal episode of Grieve That Sh!t, grief specialist Sharon Brubaker opens her heart about the painful truths she learned after the death of her son, Austin. She shares the moments she wishes she had faced differently—the pretending, the resisting, and the avoiding—and how each of those choices kept her trapped in silence. Through raw honesty and reflection, Sharon reveals what she’s learned about strength, vulnerability, and what real healing actually requires. If you’ve ever felt like you had to be strong for everyone else… or that your...
info_outline
It Only Takes a Second to Change Everything
Grieve That Sh!t
In this deeply moving and unforgettable episode of Grieve That Sh!t, grief specialist Sharon Brubaker shares a story that stopped her in her tracks, a moment that changed two families’ lives forever. What began as an ordinary drive with her husband turned into a tragedy they witnessed unfold before their eyes. Through this raw, emotional experience, Sharon explores how quickly life can change, how grief shatters the illusion of time, and what it truly means to live with awareness, compassion, and love before it’s too late. This episode isn’t just about loss it’s about the fragility of...
info_outline
The Cost of Avoiding Your Grief
Grieve That Sh!t
“Avoiding the pain won’t make it go away—it only teaches it to hide.” In this episode of Grieve That Shit, grief specialist Sharon Brubaker breaks down one of the sneakiest traps that keeps grievers stuck: avoidance. When life shatters, the natural instinct is to run from the pain, to stay busy, and to pretend you’re doing fine. But as Sharon reminds us, ignoring grief doesn’t erase it—it buries it. This episode dives deep into what happens when we try to outsmart our pain. Sharon explains why our brains convince us to avoid reminders of our person, how distraction becomes a...
info_outlineEpisode Summary:
In this episode of Grieve That Shit, Sharon Brubaker talks about something most grievers never see coming: why normal sounds suddenly feel like an attack. The kids laughing, the microwave door slamming, a choir starting at church, a car alarm in the parking lot. Things you used to handle just fine now hit your body like lightning.
Sharon walks you through what is really happening inside your grieving brain. She breaks down the amygdala, the nervous system, the HPA axis, and why grief flips all of them into survival mode. This is not you “being dramatic.” This is biology. Your brain is trying to protect your broken heart and it does not know the difference between emotional danger and physical danger.
Through real stories from her clients, Sharon shows how jumpiness, noise sensitivity, snapping at people, and shutting down in crowds are not personality flaws. They are signs that your grief system is stuck on high alert and has not been taught how to turn off. Then she shows you the path out: learning how to calm your brain by processing the pain of grief instead of running from it.
Key Points Discussed:
-
Why everyday noise can feel like an attack when you are grieving
-
How the amygdala scans for emotional pain and treats it like danger
-
What happens to your thinking center when grief hits and why you feel numb
-
How the sympathetic nervous system keeps your body in survival mode
-
Why your senses feel sharper, your reactions bigger, and your patience thinner
-
The four grief responses Sharon sees most often: resisting, reacting, avoiding, and pretending
-
How stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline keep your system on high alert
-
Why this noise sensitivity is not permanent when you learn to process the pain
-
How Processing the Pain of Grief helps calm your brain and soften your grief
Journal Questions for Reflection:
-
What sounds or situations make your body jump or tense up now that you are grieving
-
Where do you notice your thinking has slowed down or feels foggy
-
When was the last time you snapped or shut down and later realized you were not really mad at that person or thing
-
What background noise or repeated behavior from others feels harder to tolerate since your loss
-
What would it look like to give your brain and body a place to calm down instead of just pushing through
Conclusion:
Noise sensitivity in grief is not you “losing it.” It is your grief biology doing its best to protect you with the only tools it knows. Your brain is on high alert. Your body is tired. Your system is trying to outrun the pain. But this does not have to be your forever.
When you learn how to process the pain of grief, your nervous system can settle. Your thoughts get clearer. Your reactions soften. The world gets a little quieter again. You will still miss your person, but the grief does not have to feel like an attack every time a memory or a sound shows up.
Contact Us:
Ready to calm your grief brain and learn how to process the pain, not just survive it
Join Sharon Brubaker inside Processing the Pain of Grief, her live classroom where you learn what your brain is doing, how grief works in the body, and how to move the pain out instead of holding it in.
Learn more and get support inside The Grief School community.
Website: thegriefschool.com
Contact: info@thegriefschool.com
TikTok, YouTube, Instagram: @thegriefschool