When a Memory Hits You Like Fear
Grieve That Sh!t
Episode Summary: This episode cracks open one of the most frightening and misunderstood parts of grief: when a memory hits your body like a shock. You’re sitting still, lost in a moment with your person, and suddenly your stomach drops, your breath tightens, your heart races, and you remember all over again that they died. It feels like you’re grieving in two places at once. Sharon Brubaker takes you inside the neurobiology behind that jolt. She breaks down how the hippocampus pulls old memories like scenes from a movie, why the amygdala tags those memories as danger, and how your brain...
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Why Noise Feels Like an Attack In Grief
Grieve That Sh!t
Episode Summary: In this episode of Grieve That Shit, Sharon Brubaker talks about something most grievers never see coming: why normal sounds suddenly feel like an attack. The kids laughing, the microwave door slamming, a choir starting at church, a car alarm in the parking lot. Things you used to handle just fine now hit your body like lightning. Sharon walks you through what is really happening inside your grieving brain. She breaks down the amygdala, the nervous system, the HPA axis, and why grief flips all of them into survival mode. This is not you “being dramatic.” This is biology....
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The Hidden Fight Inside Every Griever
Grieve That Sh!t
🎙️ Episode Summary: In this powerful episode of Grieve That Sh!t, Sharon Brubaker opens the door on one of the most misunderstood experiences in grief: the silent battle happening inside your body. After the loss of her nephew Austin, Sharon discovered that grief isn’t just sadness. It’s a full body takeover. It’s your mind racing, your stomach twisting, your heart pounding, and your nervous system trying to protect you in ways that end up keeping you stuck. Through honest storytelling and deep reflection, Sharon explains why so many grievers stay busy, stay strong, and stay silent...
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The Things I Wish I Had Done Differently
Grieve That Sh!t
🎙️ Episode Summary: In this deeply personal episode of Grieve That Sh!t, grief specialist Sharon Brubaker opens her heart about the painful truths she learned after the death of her son, Austin. She shares the moments she wishes she had faced differently—the pretending, the resisting, and the avoiding—and how each of those choices kept her trapped in silence. Through raw honesty and reflection, Sharon reveals what she’s learned about strength, vulnerability, and what real healing actually requires. If you’ve ever felt like you had to be strong for everyone else… or that your...
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It Only Takes a Second to Change Everything
Grieve That Sh!t
In this deeply moving and unforgettable episode of Grieve That Sh!t, grief specialist Sharon Brubaker shares a story that stopped her in her tracks, a moment that changed two families’ lives forever. What began as an ordinary drive with her husband turned into a tragedy they witnessed unfold before their eyes. Through this raw, emotional experience, Sharon explores how quickly life can change, how grief shatters the illusion of time, and what it truly means to live with awareness, compassion, and love before it’s too late. This episode isn’t just about loss it’s about the fragility of...
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The Cost of Avoiding Your Grief
Grieve That Sh!t
“Avoiding the pain won’t make it go away—it only teaches it to hide.” In this episode of Grieve That Shit, grief specialist Sharon Brubaker breaks down one of the sneakiest traps that keeps grievers stuck: avoidance. When life shatters, the natural instinct is to run from the pain, to stay busy, and to pretend you’re doing fine. But as Sharon reminds us, ignoring grief doesn’t erase it—it buries it. This episode dives deep into what happens when we try to outsmart our pain. Sharon explains why our brains convince us to avoid reminders of our person, how distraction becomes a...
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This Is Grief
Grieve That Sh!t
“Grief isn’t just sadness—it’s a full-body takeover. It’s the storm that hits when love has nowhere left to land.” In this episode of Grieve That Shit, Sharon Brubaker takes you back to the foundation of it all: understanding what grief actually is. For too long, we’ve been fed clichés about “moving on” or “staying strong,” while no one ever taught us how to live through the ache. Sharon unpacks the real definition of grief—the kind you feel in your bones. She shares what she wishes she’d known when her nephew Austin died, and why understanding the truth about grief...
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Loneliness – The Silent Weight of Grief
Grieve That Sh!t
“Loneliness in grief isn’t just about missing your person—it’s about missing the version of yourself you were when they were alive. Naming that loneliness is how you stop drowning in it.” In this episode of Grieve That Shit, Sharon Brubaker takes on one of the hardest truths of grief: loneliness. Even in a crowded room, grief makes you feel like you’re on another planet. People may surround you, but no one else can feel the exact pain you’re carrying. Sharon unpacks why grief is so isolating—why people avoid your pain, why you feel like you don’t belong...
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Grief Is the Pile of Shit They Didn’t Warn Us About
Grieve That Sh!t
“We should’ve been given hip-high boots and a damn instruction manual. Instead, we’re dropped into grief with nothing but clichés. But here’s the truth—you can face the pile, grieve it, and climb out.” In this episode of Grieve That Shit, Sharon Brubaker gets brutally honest about what grief really feels like: like stepping straight into a hip-high pile of shit with no warning, no boots, and no map out. Nobody prepared us for the sleepless nights, the chest-crushing pain, or the brain fog that makes you feel like you’re losing your mind. Nobody told us grief...
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What Is the Shit?
Grieve That Sh!t
“The shit is not just the loss itself—it’s the lies, the silence, the guilt, and the pressure that come with it. You didn’t create it, but you can name it. And once you name it, you can grieve it.” In this episode of Grieve That Shit, Sharon Brubaker breaks down what “the shit” actually means. Grief isn’t just the pain of missing your person—it’s all the lies, the silence, the pressure, and the guilt that come piled on top of the loss. From the bad advice (“time heals”) to the avoidance (people ducking you at the grocery store), Sharon calls it out....
info_outlineEpisode Summary:
This episode cracks open one of the most frightening and misunderstood parts of grief: when a memory hits your body like a shock. You’re sitting still, lost in a moment with your person, and suddenly your stomach drops, your breath tightens, your heart races, and you remember all over again that they died. It feels like you’re grieving in two places at once.
Sharon Brubaker takes you inside the neurobiology behind that jolt. She breaks down how the hippocampus pulls old memories like scenes from a movie, why the amygdala tags those memories as danger, and how your brain fires survival signals long before you can think. This isn’t denial and it isn’t weakness. It is your nervous system trying to protect you from emotional injury, and it moves faster than the rest of you can keep up.
Through real-life examples and clear teaching, Sharon explains why certain memories hit harder, why they cycle over and over, and why it feels like the loss is happening in real time even years later. Most importantly, she shows you what it takes to calm the system that’s been stuck on high alert and how real healing begins when you learn to process the pain—rather than waiting for it to fade on its own.
Key Points Discussed:
• Why your brain drops you into old memories without warning
• How the hippocampus and amygdala replay emotional pain as if it’s happening now
• Why the body reacts before the mind understands
• What reconciliation shock is and why it feels like losing your person twice
• How unresolved emotion keeps your nervous system stuck in survival mode
• Why memory jolts soften once grief pain is processed
• What Processing the Pain of Grief teaches your brain to finally settle
Journal Questions:
• What memory pulls your body into a sudden drop
• What part of that memory still feels emotionally unresolved
• How does your body respond before your mind catches up
• What does the second wave feel like when the truth hits
• What would change in your life if your brain learned to soften these jolts
Conclusion:
These memory shocks don’t mean you’re going backwards. They don’t mean you’re in denial. They are the biology of grief doing what it was never taught to do differently. When you learn how to process the pain, the brain finally stops hitting the danger button every time you touch the past. Your system settles. The memories soften. The grief stops feeling like an ambush.
This is the work. This is the shift. This is where healing begins.
Contact Us:
Ready to calm your grief brain and learn how to process the pain, not just survive it
Join Sharon Brubaker inside Processing the Pain of Grief, her live classroom where you learn what your brain is doing, how grief works in the body, and how to move the pain out instead of holding it in.
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