Self Gratitude Is A Muscle That Needs Reps
Imperfect Mens Club
I open this one with a simple ask: if our stuff helps you, drop a quick rating/review on Apple. It really does get this message in front of guys who need it. What we cover Self-gratitude, defined. Appreciating and acknowledging yourself for who you are and what you’ve actually done—without chasing external approval. Bitter vs. better is a choice. The default is bitterness. Choosing better takes practice, self-awareness, and repetition. Regret, comparison, and the inner critic. How we reflect on past choices can inflame regret or dissolve it. Comparison is on my daily...
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Self Mastery - 12 Principles For A Rich Life
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of self mastery and self transformation. Jim found 12 rules of self mastery online Discipline Focus Resilience Consistency Solitude Energy Mind Body Legacy Time Surround Untouchable Jim explains how he was attracted to this framework He connects this exercise to self awareness. He shares that our life is “on us”. No one is coming to help. We are responsible for our lives Mark begins by reading the definition of each word. First is discipline. Mark suggests there is no destination. It’s a journey. Jim suggests discipline requires us to do hard things every day....
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What Life Teaches Us About Self-Discovery - Reflection, Humility, and Belonging
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of Self discovery He frames the topic with Carl Jung’s definition of what happens in life when we reach the age of 60 and then shares additional context about the beginning, middle and tail end of life and how we can “rediscover” ourselves many times over the course of our lives Jim views life in 5 and 10 year “stages”. He doesn’t think everyone goes thru self discovery exercises and then he brings the flywheel framework for context. He shares his research for this episode. He appreciates his solitude as an example of his self discovery and how the...
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Subconscious Self Doubt - The Silent Partner You Never Chose
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of the subconscious mind and the emotion of self doubt. He cites the science that shows we are driven by our subconscious. Somewhere between 85 and 95% of our actions are from subconscious memory Jim shares his opinion about how this topic fits into our wheel. He aligns the discussion to the wheel. He heard a podcast that talked about self doubt and money. He quotes the podcast and agrees with Marks incite into the science of the subconscious. Mark talks about his frame of reference being the people he knows that have varying degrees of emotional balance. Happy people...
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Why Neurodiverse Minds Crave "Frameworks"
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark brings up the topic of frameworks and mentions Jim’s recent adoption of hi “5M Framework” Manifesto Methodology Mentality Machine Mindset Jim found a manifesto that Mark had written 2 years ago while preparing to do some promotion of the podcast and he ties that in to the IMC framework. Our 5 areas of life flywheel Jim shares that the actual topic came from my being 1 minute late (I’m never late). Jim then goes over our flywheel of life framework and the 5 areas. He reflects on where he was in life when we first met. He was out of sorts and seeking answers. Then he talks about his...
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What Advice Would You Give Your 15 Year Old Self?
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of Jim’s interaction with his young niece at 15 asking him what he might do differently looking back at his 15 year old self Both guys thought it was cool for such a young person to ask such a wise question Mark reads the response that Jim sent in a text message to his niece Jim reflects on his response and how context and circumstance are so important. Mark agrees and cites the difference between good and bad advice. He iterates on the value of what you don’t do versus what you should do. Jim feels that what you should not do is more important than what you...
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Your Self-Narrative: Hero or Hostage?
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of one’s self narrative. He says you either take personal responsibility or seek blame. Mark reads the definition. He says it’s important to know what you can and can’t control. Jim relates the topic to the wheel. The self’s in the center. Jim says he’s been more aware of the self narratives of other people he’s encountered. He thinks conflict in this country is at an all time high. Jim brings up a recent encounter where trust was lost. He feels like he’s being judged as a white man. He said that this encounter was unnecessary. Mark thinks we’ve made...
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Your Inner Critic - Rewriting the Story You Tell Yourself
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the deep dive Jim took into the writing of Carl Jung and the specific topic he writes about - self talk Mark thinks most us have more negative self talk than positive Jim adds context - Jim likes stuff related to our podcast and our wheel. Particularly the self. He goes around our flywheel. When you’re challenging yourself, self talk can creep in Mark says this voice is powerful and not always positive. It’s also often subconscious. Mark reads the definition Mark reads Jung’s 5 archetypes The Good Student The Silent Healer The Starving Artist The Invisible One The Over...
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Navigating Our Response To Trauma With Grace
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of trauma and how we respond to trauma This topic came up from some family events and aging and how people respond to trauma Jim brings a framework to the discussion…The 5 “F’s” Jim fits trauma into our flywheel framework. He breaks down the 5 areas and we decide to focus on relationships and The Self We can’t seem to discuss anything without coming back to self awareness Jim got this framework from a podcast he listened to about trauma. The 5 F’s of trauma response are Fight Freeze Fawn Flop Flight Jim thinks most people opt for flight. They run Mark says...
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Self Alignment Toward That "One Thing"
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark brings in the topic in the context of our Wheel. The concept of focusing one only one thing until you momentum and can diversify with only the cash flow from that one thing. Simplicity Jim brings up the idea of focus and how that is bolstered with simplicity. He expands on our wheel and the five areas of life and the center of the wheel, the self Jim and Mark share their experience with the mainstream news. Both guys share that they have tried life with it and without it…and the impact is real. It’s a massive distraction Jim brings in self alignment in the context of being self...
info_outlineMark introduces the topic of male and female relationships. Jim had brought up the recent Bill Belichick interview with his new 24 year old girlfriend
Jim covers our framework and the wheel of life. Relationships is one of the five and women is a subset of that
Jim likes looking at life in increments of 10 years. Now we’re both in our 60’s and things have changed
Jim brings up the Belichick interview in the context of self awareness and how he was not self aware at all
Both guys lost respect for him
Mark goes back to his relationship with his girlfriend and brings up how recently he spent more time than ever at his girlfriend’s house. We have our own homes. Mark shares some frustration that came up and talks about why that might be. Then he brings up age. He specifically wants to pinpoint romantic/sexual relationships. Not platonic
Mark thinks all guys want to have this discussion
Jim brings up his 40 year relationship - married for 35 years
Jim doesn’t believe we were meant to be together”forever”. He thinks marriage contracts should be like other licenses. Tests, updates, renewals, etc…terms and conditions
He talks about renegotiating the marriage license. Reevaluate and reconsider
He thinks relationships end because communication stops
Mark shares his Catholic position where marriage is a sacrament which makes things a bit different
Mark shares his frustration about communicating with his girlfriend as they age. Hearing and talking. Mark thinks is due to being together for 6 years and getting older
Mark was saddened by the Belichick interview. How terrible the interview was to his reputation
Jim thinks Belichick is at fault. Jim brings up his first hand experience with pro athletes and celebrity/praise
Both guys are a bit taken aback with the lack of self awareness. What about his daughter? Mark laughs about what his daughters would say
Mark thinks both people are at fault. Belichick is the older more powerful player. Mark thinks they both have ulterior motive
Mark continues to be interested in the contract topic
Mark feels he has a responsibility to bring up these conversation with his girlfriend and take some responsibility for the outcome
Jim says calling a woman crazy is the new “C” word. He believes woman drive everything. They are the way they are due to evolution. Male and female roles and the woman’s menstrual cycle. Jim describes his view of why woman act the way they do. Mark thinks all of that is true, but…both guys know that discussion would be challenging:)
Jim thinks often that women tells things that are not necessarily what they really feel
Mark brings up examples of men and women who talked and set expectations before committing to one another. He thinks these discussions about expectations can make long term relationships last
Jim agrees and says yes…but you also have to keep having them, adjusting and adapting. Keep discussing things as they change. Understanding the different roles id critical
Also, we have more recently been confusing men and women about who they are
Mark talks about his mom and dad’s divorce. He shares a few stories about their vastly different memories of different disagreements
Jim likes the idea of the “vortex”
Mark jokes about having had experience with “said vortex” with his ex-wife
Mark feels strongly that self awareness is important and many of us don’t have it
Mark thinks Belichick misses the attention. He feels we all need to adjust and replace as we age
Mark recounts how he went inside to find blame with his frustration with his girlfriend and how helpful that is
Jim shares a couple more stories. One friend was struggling with his marriage and the other was trying to help. He puts it in perspective of the vortex…his buddy ended up getting divorced. Beware the vortex
The spell a woman has on a man
Mark thinks we all have the ability to manipulate and we need to take this responsibility seriously
Jim’s female friend shared an opinion that men are dumb and woman are far more complex. He feels men stay much the same and women change a lot. He defines what he feels are mens roles and women’s roles. Mark feels both people in a relationship have responsibilities to be kind and respectful
Jim shares more of his opinion about roles. Mark reaffirms the differences between men and women and claims we should celebrate these differences
He ends with the importance of communication and how it can make or break a relationship