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Beware The "Vortex". Aging Gracefully In Relationships

Imperfect Mens Club

Release Date: 05/01/2025

Self Discipline - A Stoic View of Imperfection show art Self Discipline - A Stoic View of Imperfection

Imperfect Mens Club

  Episode 43: Self Discipline. A Stoic View of Imperfection Summary In this episode, Mark and Jim explore self-discipline through the lens of Stoic philosophy. They unpack five timeless rules that still hold up in a world full of distractions, dopamine hits, and excuses. The conversation spans modern habits, mental toughness, guilt, accountability, voluntary discomfort, and the deeper connection between self-awareness, self-trust, and real personal growth. The core message: self-discipline isn’t perfection. It’s the small, unglamorous, repeatable reps you keep showing up for. What We...

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Self-Projection, Narcissism & Radical Accountability show art Self-Projection, Narcissism & Radical Accountability

Imperfect Mens Club

Short Episode Description In this episode, Mark and Jim unpack self-projection: how it shows up consciously and unconsciously, how it damages relationships, and what radical accountability actually looks like in real life. They explore narcissistic patterns, the difference between healthy self-presentation and fake personas, and why the simple act of pausing might be one of the most powerful tools you have. Along the way, Mark shares hard-won lessons from a deeply toxic relationship and how he rebuilt his emotional maturity in the years that followed. Episode Summary Mark and Jim start from...

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Why 2025 Could Be the Most Consequential Year of Our Lifetime show art Why 2025 Could Be the Most Consequential Year of Our Lifetime

Imperfect Mens Club

Episode Overview In this episode, Mark and Jim zoom out to the worldview arena of the Imperfect Men’s Club framework and connect four generations, American innovation, AI, capitalism, and historical cycles into one big through-line. The jumping-off point is Jim’s recent trip with his 85-year-old mom to meet his new granddaughter. That experience, paired with a talk he watched about 2025 being a “tipping point year,” sparked a conversation about why history really does repeat itself in 25- and 80-year patterns, how America’s unique mix of freedom and capitalism unlocks innovation, and...

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"I'm Not Good Enough" The Origins And Impact Of Self Limiting Beliefs

Imperfect Mens Club

Episode Summary Mark and Jim dive into the belief that quietly caps potential: “I’m not good enough.” They trace where it starts (childhood messages, school systems, fear, past misses) and how it shows up in adult life: promotions we never ask for, relationships we avoid, work we don’t share, skills we won’t try. Along the way: stories from recruiting, entrepreneurship, parenting after divorce, and reframing regret as proof you care. The Conversation Explores What a self-limiting belief system is Thoughts that feel like facts, internalized from fear, old messages, or past...

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Introspection Without the Spiral: 5 Moves to Get Unstuck show art Introspection Without the Spiral: 5 Moves to Get Unstuck

Imperfect Mens Club

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Reframing The Differences Between Men And Women show art Reframing The Differences Between Men And Women

Imperfect Mens Club

Summary Mark and Jim dive into the “relationships” spoke of the wheel, using a simple moment in a tire shop to unpack a bigger idea: reframing. From there they explore the difference between loving and longing, how past relationships shape current ones, what men and women tend to seek at different life stages, and why self-awareness is the only way any of this works. Mark shares hard-won perspective as a single dad of two daughters and a son; Jim brings a long-married vantage point and a field report from that fish-tank-by-the-waiting-room conversation. The conversation explores...

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Self-Discipline, Routines, and the Quiet Power of Consistency show art Self-Discipline, Routines, and the Quiet Power of Consistency

Imperfect Mens Club

Summary Mark and Jim dig into self-discipline as a daily practice, not a personality trait. They walk through their real-world morning and evening routines, how gratitude and breathwork change your state, why partnerships create accountability, and how three tightly chosen priorities per day compound into a better year. Practical, free, and doable. The conversation explores: What self-discipline actually is: controlling impulses and short-term urges to align with long-term values and intentions, built through practice and simple systems. Morning routines that stick: hydration, oil pulling,...

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Are You A Leader Or Simply In A Position Of Authority? show art Are You A Leader Or Simply In A Position Of Authority?

Imperfect Mens Club

Quick Summary Mark and Jim unpack leadership through the lens of “seasons.” Drawing on John Maxwell’s idea that everyone has a book inside them, they explore how winter, spring, summer, and fall map to personal growth, responsibility, and impact. They also get candid about humility, credibility, and why leadership is more than holding a title—it’s taking responsibility for the well-being of other people. The conversation explores Leadership ≠ Title: The difference between positions of authority and true leadership that models behavior, brings clarity, and takes responsibility for...

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Civil Discourse In A Divided World show art Civil Discourse In A Divided World

Imperfect Mens Club

In this episode of the Imperfect Men’s Club Podcast, Mark Aylward and Jim Gurulé dive into the lost art of civil discourse—why it matters, how we’ve strayed from it, and what it takes to bring it back into everyday life. The conversation explores: Why civil discourse is more than politeness Civil discourse goes beyond surface-level politeness or avoiding conflict. It’s about creating space for real dialogue that expands knowledge, challenges assumptions, and strengthens community. Mark and Jim unpack why this practice is critical for healthy democracies, strong relationships,...

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“Do It Anyway” - The Key To Mining Your Own Personal Gold show art “Do It Anyway” - The Key To Mining Your Own Personal Gold

Imperfect Mens Club

Short Description Mark and Jim unpack “self-alchemy”—turning your life’s raw materials (skills, reps, scars, notes, half-finished ideas) into something valuable. They connect it to the IMC wheel (Profession, Relationships, Money, Health/Well-Being, Worldview), talk about aligning work with values, and make the case for creating consistently despite criticism, delays, or imperfect outcomes. AI shows up not as artificial intelligence but as amplified intelligence that helps curate and ship your life’s work. The refrain: Do it anyway. What We Cover Self-Alchemy defined:...

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More Episodes

Mark introduces the topic of male and female relationships. Jim had brought up the recent Bill Belichick  interview with his new 24 year old girlfriend

Jim covers our framework and the wheel of life. Relationships is one of the five and women is a subset of that

Jim likes looking at life in increments of 10 years. Now we’re both in our 60’s and things have changed

Jim brings up the Belichick interview in the context of self awareness and how he was not self aware at all

Both guys lost respect for him

Mark goes back to his relationship with his girlfriend and brings up how recently he spent more time than ever at his girlfriend’s house. We have our own homes. Mark shares some frustration that came up and talks about why that might be. Then he brings up age. He specifically wants to pinpoint romantic/sexual relationships. Not platonic

Mark thinks all guys want to have this discussion

Jim brings up his 40 year relationship - married for 35 years

Jim doesn’t believe we were meant to be together”forever”. He thinks marriage contracts should be like other licenses. Tests, updates, renewals, etc…terms and conditions

He talks about renegotiating the marriage license. Reevaluate and reconsider

He thinks relationships end because communication stops

Mark shares his Catholic position where marriage is a sacrament which makes things a bit different

Mark shares his frustration about communicating with his girlfriend as they age. Hearing and talking. Mark thinks is due to being together for 6 years and getting older

Mark was saddened by the Belichick interview. How terrible the interview was to his reputation

Jim thinks Belichick is at fault. Jim brings up his first hand experience with pro athletes and celebrity/praise

Both guys are a bit taken aback with the lack of self awareness. What about his daughter?  Mark laughs about what his daughters would say

Mark thinks both people are at fault. Belichick is the older more powerful player. Mark thinks they both have ulterior motive

Mark continues to be interested in the contract topic

Mark feels he has a responsibility to bring up these conversation with his girlfriend and take some responsibility for the outcome

Jim says calling a woman crazy is the new “C” word. He believes woman drive everything. They are the way they are due to evolution. Male and female roles and the woman’s menstrual cycle. Jim describes his view of why woman act the way they do. Mark thinks all of that is true, but…both guys know that discussion would be challenging:)

Jim thinks often that women tells things that are not necessarily what they really feel

Mark brings up examples of men and women who talked and set expectations before committing to one another. He thinks these discussions about expectations can make long term relationships last

Jim agrees and says yes…but you also have to keep having them, adjusting and adapting. Keep discussing things as they change.  Understanding the different roles id critical

Also, we have more recently been confusing men and women about who they are

Mark talks about his mom and dad’s divorce. He shares a few stories about their vastly different memories of different disagreements

Jim likes the idea of the “vortex”

Mark jokes about having had experience with “said vortex” with his ex-wife

Mark feels strongly that self awareness is important and many of us don’t have it

Mark thinks Belichick misses the attention. He feels we all need to adjust and replace as we age

Mark recounts how he went inside to find blame with his frustration with his girlfriend and how helpful that is

Jim shares a couple more stories. One friend was struggling with his marriage and the other was trying to help. He puts it in perspective of the vortex…his buddy ended up getting divorced. Beware the vortex

The spell a woman has on a man

Mark thinks we all have the ability to manipulate and we need to take this responsibility seriously

Jim’s female friend shared an opinion that men are dumb and woman are far more complex. He feels men stay much the same and women change a lot. He defines what he feels are mens roles and women’s roles. Mark feels both people in a relationship have responsibilities to be kind and respectful

Jim shares more of his opinion about roles. Mark reaffirms the differences between men and women and claims we should celebrate these differences

He ends with the importance of communication and how it can make or break a relationship