Self Identity - It's Hard To Look In The Mirror
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of self identity The guys joke about their lack of Biblical knowledge around God’s statement to Moses “I am who I am” Jim refers to a podcast he heard that mentioned the we’re never ready and you just have to face your fears Mark reflects on his career and how he speaks with everyone he helps about their self identity. It’s the most important part of his work. You have to be able to tell your own story. He thinks most people cannot tell their own story. Jim agrees Mark reads the definition of self identity Mark reflects on the 1000’s of people he’s...
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Reinventing Yourself At Any Age - How To Be Clever About It
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of reinventing yourself in the context of a personal brand. Both guys have been working on their brands. Jim is finishing up a formal effort with his brand Mark puts his career up as a reinvention experience Jim shares his view of how stories and brands have evolved over time and explains why he has made his recent investment of time and money working out his brand and messaging. Contextually he explains this journey as one with three parts. The past, present and future. He talks about the work and the advisor he hired. He brings our 5 key areas of life framework Mark...
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Worldview: Politics, Perspectives & People Who Still Talk to Each Other
Imperfect Mens Club
“You cannot kill a thought. It needs to die of old age or natural causes” Mark introduces the topic of worldview and the different belief systems we all have…and where we get them Jim adds the influence of the political distress specifically in LA and brings in the flywheel Mark clarifies the politics of it all and both guys laugh at how everything is about politics Jim says most of us don’t like to have our belief systems challenged, but agree it’s important to do so Mark reads Jim’s 5w’s assessment…What, why, where, when and who Jim brings up self awareness and Mark agrees...
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Trump Derangement Syndrome And The 10 Commandments
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic by reading the definition and symptoms As much as the guys believe it to be real, it’s also funny Jim asks Mark what “Psychic pathology” means and he takes a shot Jim shares his opinion about friends and family that seem to struggle with this Jim talks about his mom. She exhibits physical manifestations Mark thinks this physical reaction indicates a pretty severe condition Jim calls it impulsive Mark calls Trump insensitive and crass. He’s a fighter and not a politician Mark talks about one friend who is very smart, but can’t remain objective when Trump’s...
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90% Of Life Is Just Showing Up
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic and frames it in the context of his recent experience with having a plumber show up at his home to do some work He shares how gratitude plays a part in the discussion. He expresses a concern that the topic is so rich that staying on topic might be tough Jim reflects on the story Mark has already told him Jim expands on the “Showing up” concept Jim shares his perspective having been a tradesman and having gone into many homes and being treated poorly, more often than not. He applauds Marks treatment of the plumber Jim expands on the notion of appreciation and gives...
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The Disingenuous Epidemic - Cowards, Clowns, and Characters
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of disingenuous people. Both guys have had recent experiences with people who were being disingenuous. Mark asks whether he thinks people are born this way or do become this way based on environment or circumstance. Jim says he’s been using that word more often lately Mark reads the legal definition of the word Jim shares his definition. He clarifies the nuance of this activity being intentional Mark says there are different levels of it, but that some people are just stupid Jim shares his recent encounter with a disingenuous neighbor Deception from the get go. Jim...
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How A Simple Framework Can Help Us Communicate With Candor And Clarity
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark brings up the topic of communication in the context of self talk and self reflection Then he shares a framework Jim brought that he uses for communication. The triple A method Assumptions/Agreement/Action Mark is a fan Jim brings up a favorite quote of his - “The most important conversation you’ll ever have is the conversation you have with yourself”…and that’s a crazy person Mark shares his self talk routine Jim - simply…you have to turn the channel He shares how his mind works. He finds or creates tools to help him. That’s where this AAA framework came from. He uses it to...
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Personal Stories Of Neurodivergence - The Ability To Think Different
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the guys and topic. He cites how aligned both guys are. As they enter the call they’re thinking of the same topics and thoughts Neurodivergence (See definition at the bottom of the show notes) Mark shares a call about his grandson and his current struggles which may well involve him being on the spectrum Jim shared his perspective about labels and crutches and his own story about being neurodivergent himself growing up Jim’s perspective is to reframe this label as an opportunity to think of things differently Neither guy likes meds, but do agree that in some cases they can...
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Beware The "Vortex". Aging Gracefully In Relationships
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of male and female relationships. Jim had brought up the recent Bill Belichick interview with his new 24 year old girlfriend Jim covers our framework and the wheel of life. Relationships is one of the five and women is a subset of that Jim likes looking at life in increments of 10 years. Now we’re both in our 60’s and things have changed Jim brings up the Belichick interview in the context of self awareness and how he was not self aware at all Both guys lost respect for him Mark goes back to his relationship with his girlfriend and brings up how recently he...
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Confidence Isn’t a Trait, It’s a Practice
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of confidence. Self-confidence The topic originated with Jim’s interest in elitism - entitlement - self-accountability - confidence In order to be self accountable, one must be confident Jim ties in the current news events and his recent book as he frames his view of confidence. Particularly sports and business He distinguishes between confidence and the competence required to be confident Jim brings up academia. See civically Harvard…and entitlements/elitism He shares the academic idea that perfection is attainable. We both support the reality of...
info_outlineMark introduces the topic of male and female relationships. Jim had brought up the recent Bill Belichick interview with his new 24 year old girlfriend
Jim covers our framework and the wheel of life. Relationships is one of the five and women is a subset of that
Jim likes looking at life in increments of 10 years. Now we’re both in our 60’s and things have changed
Jim brings up the Belichick interview in the context of self awareness and how he was not self aware at all
Both guys lost respect for him
Mark goes back to his relationship with his girlfriend and brings up how recently he spent more time than ever at his girlfriend’s house. We have our own homes. Mark shares some frustration that came up and talks about why that might be. Then he brings up age. He specifically wants to pinpoint romantic/sexual relationships. Not platonic
Mark thinks all guys want to have this discussion
Jim brings up his 40 year relationship - married for 35 years
Jim doesn’t believe we were meant to be together”forever”. He thinks marriage contracts should be like other licenses. Tests, updates, renewals, etc…terms and conditions
He talks about renegotiating the marriage license. Reevaluate and reconsider
He thinks relationships end because communication stops
Mark shares his Catholic position where marriage is a sacrament which makes things a bit different
Mark shares his frustration about communicating with his girlfriend as they age. Hearing and talking. Mark thinks is due to being together for 6 years and getting older
Mark was saddened by the Belichick interview. How terrible the interview was to his reputation
Jim thinks Belichick is at fault. Jim brings up his first hand experience with pro athletes and celebrity/praise
Both guys are a bit taken aback with the lack of self awareness. What about his daughter? Mark laughs about what his daughters would say
Mark thinks both people are at fault. Belichick is the older more powerful player. Mark thinks they both have ulterior motive
Mark continues to be interested in the contract topic
Mark feels he has a responsibility to bring up these conversation with his girlfriend and take some responsibility for the outcome
Jim says calling a woman crazy is the new “C” word. He believes woman drive everything. They are the way they are due to evolution. Male and female roles and the woman’s menstrual cycle. Jim describes his view of why woman act the way they do. Mark thinks all of that is true, but…both guys know that discussion would be challenging:)
Jim thinks often that women tells things that are not necessarily what they really feel
Mark brings up examples of men and women who talked and set expectations before committing to one another. He thinks these discussions about expectations can make long term relationships last
Jim agrees and says yes…but you also have to keep having them, adjusting and adapting. Keep discussing things as they change. Understanding the different roles id critical
Also, we have more recently been confusing men and women about who they are
Mark talks about his mom and dad’s divorce. He shares a few stories about their vastly different memories of different disagreements
Jim likes the idea of the “vortex”
Mark jokes about having had experience with “said vortex” with his ex-wife
Mark feels strongly that self awareness is important and many of us don’t have it
Mark thinks Belichick misses the attention. He feels we all need to adjust and replace as we age
Mark recounts how he went inside to find blame with his frustration with his girlfriend and how helpful that is
Jim shares a couple more stories. One friend was struggling with his marriage and the other was trying to help. He puts it in perspective of the vortex…his buddy ended up getting divorced. Beware the vortex
The spell a woman has on a man
Mark thinks we all have the ability to manipulate and we need to take this responsibility seriously
Jim’s female friend shared an opinion that men are dumb and woman are far more complex. He feels men stay much the same and women change a lot. He defines what he feels are mens roles and women’s roles. Mark feels both people in a relationship have responsibilities to be kind and respectful
Jim shares more of his opinion about roles. Mark reaffirms the differences between men and women and claims we should celebrate these differences
He ends with the importance of communication and how it can make or break a relationship