Self Identity - It's Hard To Look In The Mirror
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of self identity The guys joke about their lack of Biblical knowledge around God’s statement to Moses “I am who I am” Jim refers to a podcast he heard that mentioned the we’re never ready and you just have to face your fears Mark reflects on his career and how he speaks with everyone he helps about their self identity. It’s the most important part of his work. You have to be able to tell your own story. He thinks most people cannot tell their own story. Jim agrees Mark reads the definition of self identity Mark reflects on the 1000’s of people he’s...
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Reinventing Yourself At Any Age - How To Be Clever About It
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of reinventing yourself in the context of a personal brand. Both guys have been working on their brands. Jim is finishing up a formal effort with his brand Mark puts his career up as a reinvention experience Jim shares his view of how stories and brands have evolved over time and explains why he has made his recent investment of time and money working out his brand and messaging. Contextually he explains this journey as one with three parts. The past, present and future. He talks about the work and the advisor he hired. He brings our 5 key areas of life framework Mark...
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Worldview: Politics, Perspectives & People Who Still Talk to Each Other
Imperfect Mens Club
“You cannot kill a thought. It needs to die of old age or natural causes” Mark introduces the topic of worldview and the different belief systems we all have…and where we get them Jim adds the influence of the political distress specifically in LA and brings in the flywheel Mark clarifies the politics of it all and both guys laugh at how everything is about politics Jim says most of us don’t like to have our belief systems challenged, but agree it’s important to do so Mark reads Jim’s 5w’s assessment…What, why, where, when and who Jim brings up self awareness and Mark agrees...
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Trump Derangement Syndrome And The 10 Commandments
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic by reading the definition and symptoms As much as the guys believe it to be real, it’s also funny Jim asks Mark what “Psychic pathology” means and he takes a shot Jim shares his opinion about friends and family that seem to struggle with this Jim talks about his mom. She exhibits physical manifestations Mark thinks this physical reaction indicates a pretty severe condition Jim calls it impulsive Mark calls Trump insensitive and crass. He’s a fighter and not a politician Mark talks about one friend who is very smart, but can’t remain objective when Trump’s...
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90% Of Life Is Just Showing Up
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic and frames it in the context of his recent experience with having a plumber show up at his home to do some work He shares how gratitude plays a part in the discussion. He expresses a concern that the topic is so rich that staying on topic might be tough Jim reflects on the story Mark has already told him Jim expands on the “Showing up” concept Jim shares his perspective having been a tradesman and having gone into many homes and being treated poorly, more often than not. He applauds Marks treatment of the plumber Jim expands on the notion of appreciation and gives...
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The Disingenuous Epidemic - Cowards, Clowns, and Characters
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of disingenuous people. Both guys have had recent experiences with people who were being disingenuous. Mark asks whether he thinks people are born this way or do become this way based on environment or circumstance. Jim says he’s been using that word more often lately Mark reads the legal definition of the word Jim shares his definition. He clarifies the nuance of this activity being intentional Mark says there are different levels of it, but that some people are just stupid Jim shares his recent encounter with a disingenuous neighbor Deception from the get go. Jim...
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How A Simple Framework Can Help Us Communicate With Candor And Clarity
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark brings up the topic of communication in the context of self talk and self reflection Then he shares a framework Jim brought that he uses for communication. The triple A method Assumptions/Agreement/Action Mark is a fan Jim brings up a favorite quote of his - “The most important conversation you’ll ever have is the conversation you have with yourself”…and that’s a crazy person Mark shares his self talk routine Jim - simply…you have to turn the channel He shares how his mind works. He finds or creates tools to help him. That’s where this AAA framework came from. He uses it to...
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Personal Stories Of Neurodivergence - The Ability To Think Different
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the guys and topic. He cites how aligned both guys are. As they enter the call they’re thinking of the same topics and thoughts Neurodivergence (See definition at the bottom of the show notes) Mark shares a call about his grandson and his current struggles which may well involve him being on the spectrum Jim shared his perspective about labels and crutches and his own story about being neurodivergent himself growing up Jim’s perspective is to reframe this label as an opportunity to think of things differently Neither guy likes meds, but do agree that in some cases they can...
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Beware The "Vortex". Aging Gracefully In Relationships
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of male and female relationships. Jim had brought up the recent Bill Belichick interview with his new 24 year old girlfriend Jim covers our framework and the wheel of life. Relationships is one of the five and women is a subset of that Jim likes looking at life in increments of 10 years. Now we’re both in our 60’s and things have changed Jim brings up the Belichick interview in the context of self awareness and how he was not self aware at all Both guys lost respect for him Mark goes back to his relationship with his girlfriend and brings up how recently he...
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Confidence Isn’t a Trait, It’s a Practice
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of confidence. Self-confidence The topic originated with Jim’s interest in elitism - entitlement - self-accountability - confidence In order to be self accountable, one must be confident Jim ties in the current news events and his recent book as he frames his view of confidence. Particularly sports and business He distinguishes between confidence and the competence required to be confident Jim brings up academia. See civically Harvard…and entitlements/elitism He shares the academic idea that perfection is attainable. We both support the reality of...
info_outlineMark introduces the topic and frames it in the context of his recent experience with having a plumber show up at his home to do some work
He shares how gratitude plays a part in the discussion. He expresses a concern that the topic is so rich that staying on topic might be tough
Jim reflects on the story Mark has already told him
Jim expands on the “Showing up” concept
Jim shares his perspective having been a tradesman and having gone into many homes and being treated poorly, more often than not. He applauds Marks treatment of the plumber
Jim expands on the notion of appreciation and gives his opinion on how Mark’s behavior influenced the outcome
Jim emphasizes the importance of appreciation. Then he connects the topic to the wheel and the 5 areas of life
Mark shares the story. He felt vulnerable. The problem was he didn’t have water coming into his home. Mark tells his side about showing up too. He was very impressed with the plumber who showed up and shared all the details about what he liked about the experience.
Jim steps in and shared his perspective from being a tradesman as well. He emphasized how Marks behavior was unique. Mark jokes about some trade experiences with his ex wife. Jim resets the discussion as Mark gets distracted with the emotion of the experience. Mark shares more of the story. Jim continues to play the role of tradesman and adds more context and appreciation about how unique Mark’s experience actually was
Jim enthusiastically shares his view of Mark’s experience. Mark acknowledges his skepticism prior to arrival but also shares how he didn’t let his skepticism prejudge
Jim brings up the skilled labor “crisis” as another angle on this story and shares his opinion about that…strong feelings
Jim thinks the trades are at risk for a number of reasons. Then he brings up the race component of this. Jimmy was black and Jim speculates that other clients may disrespect him because of his race.
Mark jokes about the race topic. He also thinks people respond better to being treated well
Jim brings up the credit that he feels the home warranty company deserves too. Mark shares the history of deciding to take on the home warranty when bought the home in 2007 and how that relationship has evolved
Jim asks Mark to “write Jimmy’s review”. Mark shares what he’s already done and both guys talk about what else Mark could/should do for Jimmy.
Jim wants more details from Mark. Marks goes deeper about the whole experience
Mark brings back up the notion of modeling and reminds Jim to share his story about ending his own trade career. Why he stopped
Mark reminds us that all the great behavior is available to all of us. Anyone can behave well
Jim shares stories about his childhood, his dad and the phrase “I can’t” while raking leaves on a Saturday morning and going to the dump
Jim feels that experience shaped him
Mark had a similar experience with his dad
Jim then shares more about the evolution of his career and some other childhood formative moments….pay the electric bill or get your own place:)
Then Jim tells the story of ending his trade career and why. Girls, suits and meeting his wife
Mark starts to wrap up and says Jim’s dad was right…you can
Jim credits his dad for what he did - modeling - less about what he said
Mark says he takes offense at people who don’t show up…because it’s so easy
Jim tells Mark again how much he appreciate shim and Mark returns the praise