Both On Board
Hi! We are Ray Gonzalez and Christy Risco and we are a couple who are obsessed with figuring out new ways of showing up to Life AND to Business that feel authentic and expansive. Our goal is to give you a framework, along with real-life examples, of what we learned and incorporated into our journey in the last 10 years that helped us develop at a much more rapid pace in the direction we wanted to go in, rather than continuing to hit our heads against a brick wall. We'll guide you on how to get on board with each other as a couple while also staying true to yourself to co-create a Lifestyle and a Business that serves you, rather than you constantly serving it.
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The Growing of Consciousness, Ep #56
06/04/2020
The Growing of Consciousness, Ep #56
Your whole life you’ve been taught the importance of having goals. Financial goals, relationship goals, employment goals. But have you ever experienced the feeling of achieving your goals… only to find yourself with an empty feeling? Somehow, the accomplishment wasn’t as fulfilling as you expected it to be. In this episode, Ray and Christy discuss how to experience fulfillment before you achieve your goals, why you are preventing yourself from feeling joy, and a simple method for controlling your emotions when you are angry or stressed out. Show Highlights Include: The “relax and release” method for regaining control of your emotional response (2:43) The valuable lesson that your day-to-day stresses and inconveniences teach you (4:40) A key question to ask yourself when you begin to get irritated with someone else (5:42) How you prevent yourself from experiencing peace, love, and joy (10:18) The secret to enduring all your pain and struggle well (12:38) The truth about why achieving goals leaves you empty (13:56) Why striving for something only pushes it farther away from you (17:27) Doing this is preventing you from moving forward to improve your life (32:46) Ready to co-create the perfect life with your partner? Head over to to get your free special report on “7 Game-changers for Highly Effective Entrepreneurial Couples” and level up your life, business, and relationship.
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How to Surrender and Stop Living an Illusion, Ep #55
05/28/2020
How to Surrender and Stop Living an Illusion, Ep #55
The current situation in the world seems as though it is causing stress and emotional difficulty for a lot of people. However, things may not be as simple as they appear. If you’re feeling overwhelmed by things going on around you, there is good news. You can control how you respond to stressful situations. In this episode, Ray and Christy discuss how you are preventing yourself from experiencing happiness, why challenging circumstances aren’t the cause of your emotional distress, and several little-known benefits of meditation. Show Highlights Include: Doing this is destroying any potential you have for happiness (8:54) The two ways you can choose to respond when the world challenges you (8:35) This is what keeps you from enjoying your life all the time (13:13) Why your current situation is actually NOT what’s causing your emotional distress (14:03) The truth about why your partners see things differently than you (21:10) This little-known meditation benefit can change your life (21:46) Having this response to difficult experiences is the most damaging thing you can do to yourself (27:26) Ready to co-create the perfect life with your partner? Head over to to get your free special report on “7 Game-changers for Highly Effective Entrepreneurial Couples” and level up your life, business, and relationship.
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How to Win When Everyone Else Is Afraid of Losing w/Shut Up and Invest, Ep #54
05/14/2020
How to Win When Everyone Else Is Afraid of Losing w/Shut Up and Invest, Ep #54
The current economic situation is turning the real estate market completely upside down. In case you don’t recognize it, we’ve never seen anything like this before. This is going to be very bad for a lot of people, but it doesn’t have to be bad for YOU. In this episode, Ray gives his best tips for adjusting your mindset to the current situation, what you should really be paying attention to in the news, and the absolute best real estate moves you can make right now. Show Highlights Include: The winner’s mindset you must have to make smart moves when the market is tanking (5:23) This is the single most important thing you can do with your time right now (7:01) Why taking a loss on a property might be the smartest move (16:16) If you’re still making decisions based on this, you may as well start looking for a job now (19:42) This should be your top priority right now if you want to get back into business after the current crisis is over (30:50) This skill is essential to taking advantage of the market TODAY (33:48) Why forgivable loans will not solve your business problems and what to focus on instead (37:23) This GO-TO strategy is the only one you should be using for deals at the moment (46:09) These investments are the only ones that will profit in the current climate (60:00) Be sure to check out the Ready to co-create the perfect life with your partner? Head over to to get your free special report on “7 Game-changers for Highly Effective Entrepreneurial Couples” and level up your life, business, and relationship.
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Why You Don't Need to Worry w/Candice Rasa, EP #53
05/07/2020
Why You Don't Need to Worry w/Candice Rasa, EP #53
It’s easy to get caught up in the bad news that seems to get worse and worse every day. So how can you stay a part of the world without letting the negativity drag you down? One way is to consider what the universe is trying to tell you through all this. In this episode, Ray and Christy are joined by Candice Rasa, and they discuss why all this bad news is actually a good sign, how to care for yourself during times of intense stress, and how to position yourself for huge success when we get through this difficult time. Show Highlights Include: Why world events that seem like disasters are actually a good sign (2:10) How embracing the “new normal” will make you more successful no matter what happens next (4:41) Why fluidity and flow are the most important concepts for you to grasp right now (6:30) The secret to unlocking the growth that these emotions are leading you to (7:25) How to optimize your body’s systems for peak performance (9:15) This is one of your most powerful attributes for reshaping your life (12:27) Why failing governments, healthcare systems, and more shouldn’t worry you (13:22) The incredibly powerful question to ask yourself… that just might change the world (14:57) Ready to co-create the perfect life with your partner? Head over to to get your free special report on “7 Game-changers for Highly Effective Entrepreneurial Couples” and level up your life, business, and relationship.
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The Secret to Spiritual Growth w/Candice Rasa, Ep #52
04/30/2020
The Secret to Spiritual Growth w/Candice Rasa, Ep #52
What do you worry about most? Fear, stress, and material concerns affect many people. So how do you overcome these fears to lead a happier and more fulfilling life? One tool that can be extremely helpful is the Akashic Record. In this episode, Ray and Christy are joined by spiritual coach Candace Rossa, and they discuss how to grow in your spiritual life, the habits that are keeping you stuck where you are, and how to relate to those around you who are stuck in lower spiritual dimensions. Show Highlights Include: What the Akashic Record is and how it directly impacts your life (2:27) The dimension you currently exist in and where you ultimately want to be (4:03) How to align this spiritual reality with your current religious beliefs, even if they seem incompatible (8:56) Doing this is preventing you from reaching your spiritual AND material goals (12:50) How to transition to a more holistic view of your life (13:45) This energy is the most difficult to work with and is holding you back from the life you desire (14:11) The secret to embracing greater spirituality when you feel stuck (19:15) Ready to co-create the perfect life with your partner? Head over to to get your free special report on “7 Game-changers for Highly Effective Entrepreneurial Couples” and level up your life, business, and relationship.
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The Magic of Vision w/Dr. Kirby Hotchner, Ep #51
04/23/2020
The Magic of Vision w/Dr. Kirby Hotchner, Ep #51
In light of widespread panic over recent events, many people are looking for answers on how to deal with difficult times. Fortunately, there are a number of ways you can bring light to the world in a dark time, and they begin with shifting your mindset on what reality truly is. In this episode, Ray and Dr Kirby Hotchner discuss the importance of vision, why forgiveness is essential, and spiritual practices to help calm and refocus your mind. Show Highlights Include: The life-changing difference between vision and sight (1:32) Why everything you’ve been taught about loss and gain is a lie (2:50) The most important act you can commit for yourself and others (5:56) This powerful transformation can only come through forgiveness (8:27) Why loving your neighbor is essential to your own well-being (9:15) The easy way to begin a meditation practice, even if you’ve failed in the past (12:39) How to use the “one monkey effect” to change the world (15:15) Why science and spirituality must be connected to function properly (18:20) How to surrender to God without abandoning your responsibilities (21:23) Ready to co-create the perfect life with your partner? Head over to to get your free special report on “7 Game-changers for Highly Effective Entrepreneurial Couples” and level up your life, business, and relationship.
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The True Source of Your Power w/Dr. Kirby Hotchner, Ep #50
04/16/2020
The True Source of Your Power w/Dr. Kirby Hotchner, Ep #50
It is easy to get wrapped up in the emotions of other people when it seems as though the entire world has descended into panic and chaos. But it doesn’t have to be that way. What should you do when everyone around you has given in to fear? In this episode, Ray and Dr. Kirby Hotchner discuss the best way to gain perspective in times of panic, individual practices that can help center you, and how to come out of difficult times stronger and more balanced. Show Highlights Include: This is the #1 skill to develop for a happy and fulfilled life (2:44) The surprising source of all the fear in the world (4:12) Why the current stressful situation can actually benefit anyone who takes this approach (7:00) There is no power outside of this one source (8:34) The one daily practice that can help you eradicate fear from your life (9:10) The one powerful thing you must realize about fear that can free you (16:49) Doing this only prolongs the suffering that you experience in a negative situation (19:43) Ready to co-create the perfect life with your partner? Head over to to get your free special report on “7 Game-changers for Highly Effective Entrepreneurial Couples” and level up your life, business, and relationship.
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Repairing Your Relationship with Money, Ep #49
04/09/2020
Repairing Your Relationship with Money, Ep #49
If you’ve ever experienced a lack of money, or recognized that your relationship with money was always based in fear or lack, listen up. Whether you realize it or not, your internal thoughts and feelings about money can affect external wealth. In this episode, Ray and Christy discuss why money along can’t make you happy, how to increase your internal feeling of abundance, and how to crush your limiting beliefs to experience your own wealth breakthrough. Show Highlights Include: Why chasing money ultimately leaves you wealthy but unfulfilled (7:27) This uncommon definition will help you keep money in proper perspective (7:51) This single word is the key to unlocking all the abundance you ever desired (9:14) If you constantly feel like there’s never enough money, this perspective shift will get you back on track (12:27) If you rely on this one thing for security, you’ll always feel vulnerable (14:22) You must address this specific shortcoming in order to attain true, abundant wealth (16:27) Feelings of abundance must begin here or you’ll always experience lack (22:25) Ready to co-create the perfect life with your partner? Head over to to get your free special report on “7 Game-changers for Highly Effective Entrepreneurial Couples” and level up your life, business, and relationship.
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The True Meaning of Prosperity, Ep #48
04/02/2020
The True Meaning of Prosperity, Ep #48
How do you define prosperity? Many of us have related prosperity directly to money, and how much of it we have (or don’t have). But when you get right down to it, there’s more to living a prosperous life than money. In this episode, Ray and Christy discuss the real meaning of prosperity, and how you can lead a prosperous life regardless of your financial situation. Plus you'll see how to focus your mind and spirit on financial success Show Highlights Include: Why money is not the root of prosperity and what you should be focusing on instead (6:28) How the current use of the word prosperity has changed from the “old English” definition, and why this could be ruining your life (10:08) Chasing this form of prosperity will leave you empty, and perpetually unfulfilled (11:56) Take this approach to set yourself up for prosperity in both your finances and your soul (14:11) You must eliminate these prosperity killers from your life in order to achieve your dreams (15:00) The not-so-subtle way awareness influences prosperity and how to achieve it (21:03) Ready to co-create the perfect life with your partner? Head over to to get your free special report on “7 Game-changers for Highly Effective Entrepreneurial Couples” and level up your life, business, and relationship.
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How to Maintain Your Peace in Times of Panic, Ep #47
03/26/2020
How to Maintain Your Peace in Times of Panic, Ep #47
It seems that the whole world is in a state of panic. Right now it’s over the Corona Virus, but this isn’t the first time something like this has happened, and it certainly won’t be the last. It’s so easy to get swept up in the storm of negative news reports, doom and gloom social media posts, and the panic of empty store shelves. But it doesn’t have to be this way. In this episode, Ray and Christy discuss how to center yourself and keep the proper perspective when it seems that the rest of the world is losing its mind. Show Highlights Include: This is the secret to maintaining your zen, even when things are falling apart all around you (10:30) To turn a bad situation around, ask yourself this one important question (13:08) The real reason getting prepared when things are going well is the key to your survival (14:11) Take these steps now and you’ll be strong enough to face whatever the future holds (15:15) Do this work on yourself and the hard times will create growth instead of destruction (21:25) Defuse any citation by asking yourself this surprisingly powerful question (24:35) Ready to co-create the perfect life with your partner? Head over to to get your free special report on “7 Game-changers for Highly Effective Entrepreneurial Couples” and level up your life, business, and relationship.
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The Do's and Don'ts of Coaching Your Spouse, Ep #46
03/19/2020
The Do's and Don'ts of Coaching Your Spouse, Ep #46
Working well with your spouse can often be enough of a challenge, but what happens when you try to offer them advice as well? Have you ever been in a situation where your partner resented the coaching that you tried to give them? There’s a good chance that it’s because you made some small but significant mistakes in your approach. In this episode, Ray and Christy go over the tactics and techniques that will help you be more effective when trying to coach your spouse or significant other, while still maintaining your relationship. Show Highlights Include: Why the small difference between being a good coach and a great coach can save your marriage from disaster (8:55) Avoid marital catastrophe by not attempting to coach your spouse in these specific areas (10:14) Before you lash out, ask yourself this question when you begin to get frustrated at your partner’s decisions (15:40) The subtle way you strangle your spouse’s potential even though you think you’re helping (17:58) This simple question will help you reveal the right time to take that next step you’ve been considering (19:37) To be a good coach to your partner, avoiding this one relationship-killing mistake is crucial (29:21) Ready to co-create the perfect life with your partner? Head over to to get your free special report on “7 Game-changers for Highly Effective Entrepreneurial Couples” and level up your life, business, and relationship.
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Never Feel Triggered Again, Ep #45
03/12/2020
Never Feel Triggered Again, Ep #45
Have you ever been in a situation where someone else “triggered” you? It probably left you feeling angry or frustrated for the rest of the day. The problem with that is, when it happens, it winds up stealing all your time and energy from more productive tasks. In this episode, Ray and Christy dive deep into what causes you to be triggered, questions to help refocus your emotions and the best ways to overcome that anger. Show Highlights Include: The surprising way that triggering events are actually the best thing that could happen to you (4:46) Make this one quick mindset shift when you are angry, and you’ll never be frustrated with other people ever again (5:58) Why being quick to label situations as “wrong” is keeping you from reaching your full potential (10:05) How the judgments you make about other people reveal your own shortcomings and insecurities (15:18) When someone sends you into a blind rage, defuse the situation by asking this one simple question (15:54) The astonishing reason you can’t stop projecting your emotions on to other people, and how to break the cycle (17:43) 5 steps you can take to show compassion to others and stop living your life in fear (28:40) Ready to co-create the perfect life with your partner? Head over to to get your free special report on “7 Game-changers for Highly Effective Entrepreneurial Couples” and level up your life, business, and relationship.
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What It Means to be "Both on Board", Ep #44
03/05/2020
What It Means to be "Both on Board", Ep #44
When two people come together for anything, be it a relationship or a business, things can get complicated. You have different personalities, different ideas, and different opinions. If you’ve ever felt out of sync with your partner, you know how bad things can get as a result. In this episode, Ray and Christy discuss what it means to be “Both on Board.” They talk about why the differences you and your partner have can actually make you stronger, the first step you MUST take to get your partner on board, and more... Show Highlights Include: The #1 way you can be “on board” with your spouse in your life and business, and put a stop to the tension and fighting (6:14) The secret to challenging your partner to make sure you are not being left behind or steamrolled (9:45) The commonly overlooked way disagreement can help prevent future disasters from occurring (10:50) How to break free of the cycle of problems looping in your head and stop wasting time and money (14:21) Why discussing difficult things can help you push through your lowest moments together (17:02) The almost magical technique for getting your spouse on board with you, even when they think you’re dead wrong (21:07) Ready to co-create the perfect life with your partner? Head over to to get your free special report on “7 Game-changers for Highly Effective Entrepreneurial Couples” and level up your life, business, and relationship.
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The Most Important Partner in Your Business, Ep #43
02/27/2020
The Most Important Partner in Your Business, Ep #43
Have you ever felt like you would be far more successful in your business (and personal) life if your spouse just supported you more? If they understood you better? Chances are, you’re making some critical mistakes in the way you are trying to involve them. In this episode, Ray and Christy are interviewed by Tim Bratz and go into the best ways to reassure a skeptical spouse, ease your partner into your business and more. Show Highlights Include: How to broaden the entrepreneurial mindset of a worrying spouse to reduce conflict and get unstuck (11:43) Is your spouse skeptical of your entrepreneurial adventures? Instead of trying to change them, do this instead and end the fighting (12:07) If you’re feeling disconnected from your spouse, you can do this activity together to bridge the gap and become close again (14:34) Do you need to “burn the ships?” Here’s one way to find out (16:08) The secret to building a successful entrepreneurial partnership with your significant other (22:03) The absolute WORST thing you can do when trying to get your partner involved in your business (23:50) This productivity technique could be the secret to a smoothly running business… and relationship (31:20) Ready to co-create the perfect life with your partner? Head over to to get your free special report on “7 Game-changers for Highly Effective Entrepreneurial Couples” and level up your life, business, and relationship.
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How to Care for Yourself and Still Show Up for Your Life, Ep #42
02/20/2020
How to Care for Yourself and Still Show Up for Your Life, Ep #42
If you’re like most of us, you’ve probably found yourself stuck in a situation where it seemed like everything you did was for someone else, yet you still felt bad. No matter how hard you tried to take care of your spouse and your kids, things still weren’t working. In this episode, Ray and Christy take a deep dive into how to be selfish (the right way), how to avoid the devastating results of comparison and how to take care of yourself without neglecting the other parts of your life. Show Highlights Include: How to release the overwhelming feelings of guilt that go along with putting yourself first, and why it is essential for those who rely on you (4:45) Why taking care of external needs leaves you feeling empty and how to make yourself feel whole again (12:53) The 2 essential steps you must take when you start comparing yourself to others to reclaim your own identity (18:22) How the “unsubscribe” approach can help you crush anxiety and focus only on the things that bring you peace of mind (21:00) Why trying to be the “good mom” is actually making you a worse parent… and person (23:24) The simple method for getting anything you want in life, without taking advantage of your partner (31:53) Ready to co-create the perfect life with your partner? Head over to to get your free special report on “7 Game-changers for Highly Effective Entrepreneurial Couples” and level up your life, business, and relationship.
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Taking “Response-ability” for Your Life, Ep #41
02/13/2020
Taking “Response-ability” for Your Life, Ep #41
Do you ever find yourself frustrated or feeling like you’re out of control of your situation? No matter what the circumstances, how you respond to them can make all the difference. In this episode, Ray and Christy discuss the difference between reacting and responding to a situation, as well as techniques for handling difficult people, rebounding from bad decisions, and more. Show Highlights Include: How knowing the difference between responding and reacting can lift you from failure to success (2:07) Changing this one element of any situation will make you a better entrepreneur, spouse, and parent (6:20) Try this to bounce back quickly from bad choices that leave you angry with yourself (10:30) Take this game-changing approach to any outcome and end frustration for good (16:28) You can focus on this one simple thing to improve every interaction you have with another person (18:03) The mindset shift that helps you avoid a downward spiral in triggering situations (27:07) Stop using these two words right now to immediately begin repairing broken relationships (36:25) Ready to co-create the perfect life with your partner? Head over to to get your free special report on “7 Game-changers for Highly Effective Entrepreneurial Couples” and level up your life, business, and relationship.
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How to Overcome Any Challenge and Thrive as an Entrepreneurial Couple, Ep #40
02/06/2020
How to Overcome Any Challenge and Thrive as an Entrepreneurial Couple, Ep #40
If you’ve ever felt frustrated trying to run a business with your spouse or partner, this episode is for you. Differences in mindset, goals, or financial priorities are just a few of the many hurdles that must be overcome when working together. In this episode, featuring Corey and Shelley Peterson, Ray and Christy dive deep into these issues and many more, providing advice and solutions for creating a stronger business and relationship. Show Highlights Include: The first and most important mindset shift you must make when beginning your entrepreneurial journey (5:00) The secret to working together successfully as a couple (6:30) How to combine your strengths with your partner’s strengths to exponentially multiply your results (16:11) Is it possible to balance two “alpha” personalities in a partnership? It is if you do this (19:37) The importance of knowing when to turn off the business side of your relationship (23:51) The counterintuitive method to stop failing to meet your goals (27:56) How to share difficult things with your partner without hurting their feelings (43:20) Ready to co-create the perfect life with your partner? Head over to to get your free special report on “7 Game-changers for Highly Effective Entrepreneurial Couples” and level up your life, business, and relationship.
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The Art & Practice of Manifestation, Ep #39
01/30/2020
The Art & Practice of Manifestation, Ep #39
If you’ve ever been faced with a major life decision, you know how tough it can be to be certain you’re doing the right thing. And when you add another person (or people) to the mix it becomes even more challenging. In this episode, Ray and Christy share their methods for working together as partners in making major decisions, how to know when your ego is trying to take over, and opening yourself up to signs from the universe. Show Highlights Include: How to determine what is a coincidence and what is a sign from the universe (13:29) This simple test reveals whether your desire for change is coming from your heart or your ego (14:57) The mind-blowingly obvious way you can tell if a decision is right for you (19:58) Stop asking if you “need” to make a change and ask yourself this question instead (22:46) What “flaming rings” can tell you about your decisions… if you pay attention (26:19) Ready to co-create the perfect life with your partner? Head over to our website to get your free special report on “7 Game-changers for Highly Effective Entrepreneurial Couples” and level up your life, business, and relationship.
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Becoming a "Lifeonaire," Ep #38
01/23/2020
Becoming a "Lifeonaire," Ep #38
Struggling with the swings between emotional highs and lows? Feel like it’s impossible to balance responsibilities with your family and in your business? In today’s episode, Ray and Christy discuss Lifeonaire, an impactful and highly-recommended book, and share some advice on discussing big decisions with your partner, how to find the stable middle ground in difficult emotional times and much more… Show Highlights Include: How to overcome the limiting beliefs that are keeping you stuck (14:53) To-do list causing a feeling of dread in the pit of your stomach? Try this list instead to change it to joy (18:12) The surprising link between your energy and your experiences (22:33) This one thing will create more growth and progress in your life than anything else (26:40) The life-changing magic of being selfish with your time(28:17) How to repair the emotional wreckage caused by “fickleness” (32:34) The misunderstood power of slowing down to get more done (38:30) Ready to co-create the perfect life with your partner? Head over to our website to get your free special report on “7 Game-changers for Highly Effective Entrepreneurial Couples” and level up your life, business, and relationship.
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You MUST Give up Control to Create, Ep #037
01/02/2020
You MUST Give up Control to Create, Ep #037
You need to give up control to allow co-creation to happen. Are you trying to force things to happen? Struggling to remain in control at all times and feeling like everything is continually out of grasp? We can actually control very little in our lives and that’s why we need to learn to let go. This episode of Both on Board is all about giving up control, meeting God halfway, and allowing things to happen. Highlights From Our Conversation [0:45] Creating vs. making things happen [3:10] Control something vs. allowing [7:45] Control leaves no room for joy [9:00] Always return to a place of joy [16:20] How do you identify where you’re at? [18:15] Learn to operate out of discernment [22:20] What are you attracting, choosing, and creating? You need to align instead of grind If you’re going out and grinding day-in and day-out and trying to will things into existence, you’re operating out of fear. You need to learn to see when you’re forcing things to happen instead of aligning with what is supposed to. The old adage is God’s delays are not God’s denials. But honestly, sometimes God’s delays ARE his denials. If you’re trying to force into existence something that isn’t meant to be, maybe God IS saying this isn’t for you. As entrepreneurs, we want to control everything. But the truth is we can only control how we react, and the decisions we make. Giving up control leaves room for joy Operating out of a place of controlling everything means you’re operating out of fear. Out of scarcity. When I was pregnant, I tried to control every little thing. I read books, I did research, I tried to manage everything I ate and did. I found myself constantly frustrated and was driving myself absolutely crazy. It was honestly hard on us both. I couldn’t control the pregnancy or how things would go. I was struggling and suffering. As Ray likes to put it, I had to shut-up and allow room for grace. I needed to start to focus on what felt good for me, not on what I think I needed to do. The better you feel, the better you show up—and I needed to show up for my baby. So I signed up for a course to teach Yoga. I did something that would bring me joy and started the process of beginning to let go. I wasn’t going to let my desire to control everything steal my joy. Set up “control” checkpoints So how do you begin to operate in a place of joy, instead of out of fear? We like to start the day off on a high—meditate, do yoga, etc. Do whatever it is that centers you and starts from a place of gratefulness. Then, you set up checkpoints for yourself throughout the day to reflect on your actions and reactions. Are you acting from a place of stress? Are you making excuses? Are you allowing external circumstances dictate how you feel? If you take a few moments a day to realign yourself you gain perspective. Perspective allows you to align with the co-creator and take aligned action. Do your part. Give 100% of what you have and allow the creator to meet you. Don’t force or dictate what you want to happen. Learn to operate from a place of discernment Giving up control doesn’t mean you make decisions hastily. But we believe you need to lead with your heart first, then your head. Your head is analytical and leads from a place of fear. Lead with your heart. Check-in with your “gut” feeling. Why do you feel the way you feel? Where is the feeling coming from? Address how you feel, talk about it, confront it, and then make decisions. Find the truth. Co-creating with each other, with God, and with the universe means making a plan—but don’t become attached to the outcome. Be humble and ask for help when necessary. But remember you don’t have to do it all. That’s not how things were meant to be. Listen to the whole episode of Both on Board for our full thoughts on co-creation, giving up control, and living in a place of peace, love, joy, and abundance. Happy New Year! Resources & People Mentioned by the Shanti Christo Foundation by Esther and Jerry Hicks Connect With Ramon and Christy with us now! Both On Board on Instagram: Ray’s Instagram - Christy’s Instagram - Facebook - Facebook - Subscribe to Both on Boardon , , , , Spotify
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Understanding the Power of Two, Ep #036
12/26/2019
Understanding the Power of Two, Ep #036
The power of two is inextricably more powerful than what someone can do alone. Having a partner in life and business makes life itself more fulfilling and fun. But how do you know you’re choosing the right friends? The right spouse or business partner? In this episode of Both on Board, Ray and I talk about some of the criteria we use to choose the people we surround ourselves with. Highlights From Our Conversation [0:50] The Power of Two [6:15] How do you choose the right people? [12:50] Do they act with integrity? [16:05] Give relationships time to develop [23:10] What does a good partnership look and feel like? [28:55] Choosing a partner is an art [33:50] Be strategic with relationships [38:10] Couples Cruise coming! It begins with value alignment One of the key things we look at when building relationships with potential friends, business partners, etc. is their value system. For the relationship to work in the long run, we need to align on core values and beliefs. Do they show genuine care for others? Do they give to charities? Do they have a commitment to personal growth? You can’t force someone to meet your values. It’s okay if they’re different. They don’t have to be mirror images of you—you want diversity. But you want to know they are people of integrity, who do what they say they will. The power of two begins with YOU I rely heavily on my intuition, or “gut feeling”. I’m good at listening and reading body language, whereas Ray is a “love at first sight” kind of guy. Ray instantly vibes with people and thinks they’re amazing. I take time to feel them out. I note if I have synergy with them or not. If it doesn’t feel good or it doesn’t feel easy it’s probably not the right thing to do. We are on opposite ends of the spectrum when it comes to feeling people out. Ray and I balance each other out. I help him be more cautious, and he pushes me to be more open. We leverage the power of two. It takes time to build relationships Along with core value alignment and intuition, you need to factor in time. Is the other person’s behavior in alignment with what they say? Relationships/partnerships/friendships don’t get tested until stress is added. As Ray likes to say, how do they act when they get punched in the face? Don’t get attached to their personality until you know who they are. Sometimes your initial perception is not the reality. People deal with daily stressors and things that impact them—they aren’t always going to put their best face forward. It also depends on how you are showing up. If you aren’t showing up authentically, how can they expect you to? If you are clear on who you are and how you feel about yourself, you’ll attract the same kind of people. What does a good partnership look like? Ray and I are the first to admit that the right person makes all the difference. As you look at your core values, listen to your intuition, and give the relationship time it comes down to who do you want to be on board with? You don’t have to be the same, but you have to be on board with each other. A good partnership is about finding a way for both of you to show up authentically as your best selves and create magic. Your differences should melt away as you work in alignment. Other than personal development, the best way to invest your time is in relationships. You want to be strategic in your decisions and invest in partnerships where you give value to each other. When you choose wisely, the power of two will be more evident and fruitful. To hear how some of our best relationships and partnerships started, how we help balance each other out, and more—listen to the whole episode! Resources & People Mentioned by Ray Dalio by the Shanti Christo foundation Connect With Ramon and Christy with us now! Both On Board on Instagram: Ray’s Instagram - Christy’s Instagram - Facebook - Facebook - Subscribe to Both on Boardon , , , , Spotify
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Commit to Change NOW—Before the New Year, Ep #035
12/19/2019
Commit to Change NOW—Before the New Year, Ep #035
Are you waiting for January 1st, 2020 to commit to change in your life? Are you sitting there telling yourself rational lies? What if—instead of waiting—you committed to small changes now? Focus on what you want to BE, what you want to DO, and what you want to HAVE. In this episode of Both on Board, we talk about how we have committed to daily rituals and how it’s changed us—and can change you, too. Highlights From Our Conversation [0:45] How we’re preparing for 2020 [3:35] What are the things I want to BE/DO/HAVE? [8:00] Do you have gray areas in your life? [13:10] What daily ritual can you implement? [19:30] Show up with a different energy [21:40] Cultivate awareness of where your time is spent [25:50] Celebrate every little win [29:20] What are your “big rocks”? [40:20] Don’t let your willpower wane [43:15] What’s coming up for Both on Board Do you have gray areas in your life? We all have something we want to commit to and improve, right? People seem to expect that when the new year comes around they will magically be able to commit to resolutions they couldn’t keep the entire previous year. You have the power to take responsibility for your choices. You need to get to a place where you have a strong foundation to build off of. Are there gray areas that you’re avoiding? It’s time to shine a light on the areas that are in the gray. Are you living in alignment with where your soul knows it should be? You need to move out of the gray areas and back to joy. What daily ritual can you implement? Start working on those gray areas now by implementing a small daily ritual that you can learn to keep consistently. It takes approximately 68 days for something to become a habit. Start small, such as working out once a day. Get up early, make your bed, or drink more water. Start early in the morning because your willpower wanes throughout the day. As you start to successfully continue that habit, you build success on success. If you’re struggling, find a way to get your spouse on board. Fill them in on your goals and allow them to keep you accountable. Maybe your spouse will dive in with you! After all, you’ll do more for someone else than you’ll do for yourself. Work hard to find a middle ground of accountability and support. There is power in commitment. Grant Cardone says “Commit first and figure the rest out later”. Are you ready to commit to implementing one small change? What are the ‘big rocks’ you will schedule around? Are you aware of what happens every day? Do you know where your time is going? How much time are you wasting? When we were doing 75Hard, we cultivated an awareness of where our time was being spent and learned something valuable: You will always have time for the things you prioritize. Are your goals important enough that you’re prioritizing them daily? Your non-negotiables should be your core commitments that you schedule first—the rocks. Things that you want to do are the tiny pebbles or sand that are filtered in and fit around the rocks. When you’re saying you don’t have time for something important, you’re prioritizing something that’s not. What 3-5 things are your priorities? Take some time to think through what those are, and schedule them into your next week. Let everything else filter around them, and you’ll be amazed. Commit to change NOW What is taking up mental space and energy? What is robbing your peace? It is there for you to address it. Stop making things more difficult than they need to be. Show up as the person you want to be now. Not next week, not in 2020, but now. The more responsibility you take, the more power you get back. And there is power in commitment. Where can you challenge yourself with starting today? Resources & People Mentioned by the Shanti Christo foundation by Stephen Covey Connect With Ramon and Christy with us now! Both On Board on Instagram: Ray’s Instagram - Christy’s Instagram - Facebook - Facebook - Subscribe to Both on Boardon , , , , Spotify
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Entrepreneurship Development in Marriage with Julia and Gino Barbaro, Ep #034
12/12/2019
Entrepreneurship Development in Marriage with Julia and Gino Barbaro, Ep #034
Entrepreneurship development in marriage is possible when you’re both aligned and passionate about what you do. Are there struggles to overcome? Of course! But if you’re both on board, then you can work through the challenges and come out stronger. Ray and I love connecting with other married entrepreneurs and couples working together. In this episode of Both on Board, Ray and I were interviewed on the Multi-FAMILY Zone podcast, hosted by Julia and Gino Barbaro. Highlights From Our Conversation [0:45] The Multi-FAMILY Zone podcast [2:30] We finished 75Hard! [3:55] Why did Ray choose Real Estate? [5:35] Christy’s Journey [8:30] Moving away from limiting beliefs [12:15] How Ray and Christy work together [17:45] How marriage grows and changes [22:45] How did having a child change everything? [26:20] Ongoing goals for the business [29:20] Tips for working together as a couple [38:00] Connect with us The 3 Laws of Ray We share a little bit of our personal journeys in this podcast. Part of Ray’s story is that he’s constantly reinventing himself, trying to find the path that is his right fit. I prefer to refer to it as ‘agility’. He has this unique ability to transition into something bigger and better seamlessly. Gino coined the “3 Laws of Ray”: Desperation: Ray was motivated because he was desperate for change, desperate for something more. He didn’t feel fulfilled at General Electric. It often is a strong motivator for people to make a change Inspiration: He found inspiration and dove into real estate. What is your inspiration for your business and future? Perspiration: Building a business and being an entrepreneur isn't easy. It takes hard work and perspiration! Do you have what it takes? Keep listening along to hear some insight from my journey from being a school-teacher to a full-time entrepreneur and mom! How to overcome your limiting beliefs When I was a teacher, I did my best to always be happy. I chose to enjoy my days in my job—though often difficult—and spent them smiling. My coworkers gave me the name “Sunshine”. But what I found is that other teachers found my happiness to be annoying, as if I shouldn’t be happy in my circumstances. Many teachers weren’t happy. But their limiting beliefs held power over them: “You just gotta suck it up and deal with it”. “It’s worth it because I have the summers off”. “I get to leave at 3 pm every day”. I’m of the mindset that if you’re going to teach, you need to be happy doing it. If you don’t want to teach, overcome the limiting beliefs that are keeping you trapped and find something better. If you don’t enjoy it, are you truly making an impact? Tried and true strategies for couples working together Our first and foremost tool that we reiterate time and time again is investing in personal development. We can’t know each other and how we mesh together if we don’t know ourselves first! Find out what you’re good at (and what you’re not) and learn to play off of each other’s strengths. Another mindset that we stand by is taking responsibility for yourself and your actions. You are responsible for your life and everything in it, including how you respond. Don’t play the blame game, stop being the victim, and believe that life is happening for you and serves you. This allows you to show up to your relationship and business at a much higher level! Lastly, support each other. Be in alignment with each other. Be compassionate. As Ray is learning the lending space, I am giving him the time and space he needs to grow in the new endeavor. But we are both enrolled in the vision and are each other’s biggest fan. Burn the ships and dive in When I left my teaching job, I didn’t request a leave of absence—I turned in my resignation. There was no life preserver. Gino pointed out that I burned the ships, and dove head-first into the entrepreneurial world with Ray. It certainly wasn’t easy, and the learning process was hard on us. Gino said it best when he said an entrepreneur is anyone who takes responsibility and someone who makes enough money to pay for their own mistakes. Through our marriage, the seasons of starting and ending businesses, and having our daughter we’ve hit bumps in the road. But you have to take a leap of faith to get to something better. You work through the challenges, the arguments, disagreements, and move forward in an aligned vision. There is no looking back, only pushing forward to something better. If you’re ready to take the leap and need some motivation, schedule a call with us by clicking our link below! Resources & People Mentioned with us now! podcast Tony Robbins Connect With Ramon and Christy with us now! Both On Board on Instagram: Ray’s Instagram - Christy’s Instagram - Facebook - Facebook - Subscribe to Both on Boardon , , , , Spotify
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What Are You Growing in the Garden of Your Mind? Ep #033
12/05/2019
What Are You Growing in the Garden of Your Mind? Ep #033
“You can grow ideas in the garden of your mind” - Mr. Rogers Mr. Rogers popularized the term “Garden of Your Mind” and this week it became real for us. There is this patch of weeds that have been growing at the front of our house and it’s bothered me for a while. I decided to stop ignoring it, and turn it into a garden. As I’ve gone through the process, a wonderful analogy has developed that we wanted to share with you. What are you growing in the garden of your mind? Are you letting weeds take over? What ideas are you cultivating? Ray and I discuss the concept in detail in this episode of Both on Board! Highlights From Our Conversation [0:50] The garden of your mind [2:25] What does your foundation look like? [12:15] The four F’s: family, fitness, finances, and faith [18:00] The process of “un-becoming” [24:00] Don’t take the weeds for granted [25:35] Cultivating the seeds of awareness [32:10] The excuse of lack of time Rebuild a stronger foundation to maximize success What does your foundation look like? Are there weeds growing? Is the soil nourished and ready to grow the seeds that you plant? Just as it is with gardening, your foundation for personal development needs to be cultivated. If your foundation is matted with weeds, there is no room for other plants to grow. To become effective and efficient, you need to make room for growth by first pruning the weeds. Remove limiting beliefs, baggage from the past, and anything that is not serving you. If you ignore the weeds, any seed you plant will be choked out and diminished. A strong foundation is what ultimately leads to and maximizes your success. What are the building blocks of your foundation? There are ‘Four F’s’ that you can focus on that are the foundation for your life: family, fitness, finances, and faith. We’ve been doing 75Hard to address our fitness. As we are focusing on that, our nutrition is falling into place. But it’s also allowing us to build discipline into our life that impacts everything else we do. The better you take care of yourself, the better you show up, right? Our finances are on point. We work hard to stay organized and on top of what we need to be doing. If you get your finances in order, people take notice. Our CPA is one of our investors for a deal we just completed because he sees how organized and responsible we are. He’s willing to invest because our foundation is strong and we are dependable. What can you address in the four F’s that will strengthen your foundation? The process of “un-becoming” “Maybe the journey isn’t so much about becoming anything. Maybe it’s about un-becoming everything that isn’t really you, so you can be who you were meant to be in the first place.” ― Paul Coelho God made you in his image to be a creator. To be love and give love. Are their weeds growing in the garden of your mind that you need to remove in surrender? Are they masking your foundation and who you really are? Let go of who you think you are—your limitations and fear—and learn to surrender. Let go of negative energy and stop taking things so seriously. It is so much easier to overcome obstacles when you learn to make the process fun. Keep listening as we talk about practical ways to do this! Plant the seed of awareness Look at the weeds that have grown in your life and don’t take them for granted. Bring conscious awareness to your past, your struggles, your challenges. If you ignore the weeds, you run on auto-pilot and continue to allow fear, scarcity, lack, doubt, denial, and self-judgment rule your life. Once you allow awareness into your life, you can’t “unsee” it. You can’t return to what was. Instead, you get to focus on cultivating what you have planted. As you begin to build consistency and work on pulling the weeds in your life you cultivate success. That doesn’t mean weeds won’t still crop up, but you will have the awareness that they are showing up and can spot-treat. The more you build on the success the easier it gets, the more it’s part of your process, and the more fruitful you become. What do you need to shine a light on? What behaviors do you need to bring into conscious awareness? We continue to talk about prioritizing your time, asking empowering questions, and much more. Don’t miss this episode! Resources & People Mentioned by the Shanti Christo Foundation by Greg McKeown Andy Frisella’s Connect With Ramon and Christy with us now! Both On Board on Instagram: Ray’s Instagram - Christy’s Instagram - Facebook - Facebook - Subscribe to Both on Boardon , , , , Spotify
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Accept Responsibility for Your Actions to Change Your Life, Ep #032
11/28/2019
Accept Responsibility for Your Actions to Change Your Life, Ep #032
When you learn to accept responsibility for your actions it can be life-changing. We believe it’s important to cultivate an awareness of how you’re acting and reacting. All aspects of decision-making are in your control. Even how you react to situations out of your control is up to you. Are you ready to start owning everything you do? Listen to this episode of Both on Board as we dissect the way we think about our actions. Highlights From Our Conversation [0:50] You’re responsible for everything in your life [4:15] The power of responsibility [9:25] Confront, acknowledge, and change your outlook [13:45] What happens when you operate out of fear [15:35] The importance of integrity [21:50] Everyone needs accountability You are perfectly free at all times: everything is your choice You get to assign meaning to everything that happens to you and through you. You need to take full responsibility for how you show up in your life. It’s so easy to say, but much harder to do. Did you spend a ton of money at Target? Are you looking at your credit card bill in disbelief? Own the decision you made, pay your bill, and think about what you could have done differently next time. What are you bringing to life with your thoughts? Are they bringing you life, or making you feel imprisoned? If you bring awareness to the moments and decisions that you’re making, you can change your perception—and maybe even change your reality. Every situation is neutral and only you assign meaning Every situation that happens to you or for you is neutral. They are just events in time that happen—you get to choose what they mean. You get to decide what emotion to assign to the situation. Are you going to look at it in an empowering way? My mood or perception of the event is how I label it. What emotion are you choosing to live in? Negativity attracts negativity. What if we chose to live in abundance versus lack? Can you look at what appears to be a negative situation and believe you can figure it out? When we choose to confront the negative emotions and acknowledge how we feel we can make better decisions. When you assign meaning, you take back the power and can stop playing the victim. The importance of integrity We believe that if you say you’re going to do something, that you should do it. If you make a mistake and aren’t true to your word, take responsibility and rectify your mistake. Ray recently had the opportunity to have a conversation with someone he cared about who wasn’t holding up to what they said they’d do. The conversation was transformational because he came from a place of love and respect, while also communicating that the actions weren’t okay. Make sure you’re coming from a place of love and not judgment. When coming at it in that way, you can have deep conversations create a bond and closeness. If the tables were flipped, and someone confronted you, how would you respond? Would you take responsibility for your actions and embody integrity? When you accept responsibility it gives you power Ray and I are at the tail end of closing a deal on some rental property in Atlanta. I allowed myself to be completely stressed about the deal because I felt like I was in the dark. I let anxiety creep in, and because of it, I couldn’t sleep. I assigned meaning to the situation that didn’t exist and created unnecessary anxiety. Ray confronted me about the situation and I had to take a step back and evaluate. When I accepted responsibility for how I assigned meaning to the situation, it was a weight off my shoulders. I didn’t have to be in that state of mind.Taking responsibility allows you to diffuse whatever situation you’re in and gives you back your power. How are you showing up in your life? Are you accepting responsibility for every action and response? Resources & People Mentioned by the Shanti Christo Foundation Connect With Ramon and Christy with us now! Both On Board on Instagram: Ray’s Instagram - Christy’s Instagram - Facebook - Facebook - Subscribe to Both on Boardon , , , , Spotify
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How to Support Your Partner Through Change, Ep #031
11/14/2019
How to Support Your Partner Through Change, Ep #031
It’s important to support your partner through everything, especially when life brings unexpected (or expected) change. Are you walking separate paths towards the same goal? Or is a new business endeavor stealing more of your time then you’d hoped? Whatever the circumstances, are you there for each other? Change can be both wonderful and terrifying. In this episode of Both on Board, we talk about navigating change together. Highlights From Our Conversation [0:45] How to support your partner [4:30] Give yourself flexibility [8:45] Change can lead to opportunity [13:50] Desire drives impact [20:45] What am I willing to give up? [25:30] Leverage your unique abilities [28:30] Invest in relationships [34:45] What doors are being opened? [36:25] What are your strengths? [40:55] Face your fears [43:30] align with the “5 F’s” Navigating change requires flexibility and grace When Ray and I stopped wholesaling and flipping houses and dove into the loan business, it was a whirlwind of change. We were navigating something completely foreign and it took some time to adjust. Now, Ray is working on a deal that would involve acquiring a large multi-family property in Buckhead. It’s taken significantly more time than we ever thought it would. It’s new, exciting, and terrifying. We’ve had to practice giving ourselves grace. Ray is traveling and speaking to investors to raise capital. But we’ve taken the time to be proactive and prepare for this new season. After all, being an entrepreneur requires embracing changes and ups and downs. We know that this is happening—we chose it and we are going to navigate it. Support your partner to reach your shared vision In this podcast, we’re always talking about our belief that life comes in seasons and that one prepares you for the next. We had a slow summer of self-care and focusing on our family. As we are ramping up into fall we are reminded that the season prepared us for the chaos that is coming. We know that with a willingness to leap into the unknown there will be growth. But there is one thing that we always consider when facing change: Is it in alignment with our vision for our future? You must compare proposed change against the framework you’ve created for yourself. If our desire for expansion aligns with our combined vision, we take the challenge head-on. You may have to give up some things that are no longer essential. Are the opportunities presented to you worth what you’ll need to give up? Only you get to decide. Is the change we are embracing scary? Of course. But we have each other to lean on for support. What are your unique abilities and strengths? Ray is 100% in his element when he’s networking and speaking. He understands risk and investments and knows exactly how to explain that to investors. I know what his unique abilities are and know that he’s doing what he’s meant to be doing in this season. I’ve been privileged to see him living a passion of his firsthand as he’s supporting me in mine. Flow and alignment using your own unique abilities and talents creates magic. You need to figure out what you’re great at and pivot as you go through life. My comfort zone has always been more of a supporting role but I’m growing and branching out. I started with a speaking opportunity and will continue to develop and grow my unique abilities. Where do you place value? Every event we attend allows us to forge relationships that could last a lifetime. Some relationships are seasonal. But we desire to build friendships with people that we can pour into as they invest in us. Always remember—what doors are opening as you branch out and step into the unknown? Are you vibrating at a frequency that attracts people on the same level as you are higher? Are you investing in your personal growth? Are you remembering to place your health and family first? We share personal stories and so much more about support in this episode. Be sure to listen to the whole thing! Resources & People Mentioned by the Shanti Christo Foundation by Grant Cardone Connect With Ramon and Christy Both On Board on Instagram: Ray’s Instagram - Christy’s Instagram - Facebook - Facebook - Subscribe to Both on Boardon , , , , Spotify
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Define What Financial Freedom Means for You, Ep #030
11/07/2019
Define What Financial Freedom Means for You, Ep #030
What does financial freedom look like for you? Is it paying off debt? Does it allow you to travel the world? In a world where talking about finances is taboo, we are bringing the conversation front and center. Money is important. Money is needed. You should want more of it. We talk about the benefits of financial freedom and also touch on some concepts from the book “The 4-Hour Workweek” in this episode of Both on Board. Highlights From Our Conversation [0:45] The topic of finances shouldn’t be taboo [2:30] The goal is to be rich, not look rich [6:00] What does being wealthy really mean? [9:30] What does financial freedom look like for you? [14:40] How to find fulfillment and happiness [19:30] “The 4-hour Workweek” by Tim Ferriss [27:00] Renting versus buying [30:30] Inactivity is not the goal, doing what excites you is [39:35] The entrepreneurial mindset: be an investor [44:05] Cashflow first, big payday second The goal is to be rich, not look rich I saw this statement on Instagram and it struck me. The goal is to be rich, not look rich. So many people prance around Miami, showing off their nice cars and expensive apparel—but in reality, they’re broke. In reality, we are just seeing their highlight reel. Are they just trying to put on a mask? Are they choosing retail therapy over facing inner demons? In reality, the goal shouldn’t be to look rich. The goal is to be rich. We don’t say this to sound snobbish, uppity, or whatever you want to label it. But guys—God didn’t make you to be broke. He created us to live in abundance, to provide for our families, and to find fulfillment. How about, instead of “fake it til you make it” we embrace “make it so you don’t have to fake it”. “Money is not everything, not having it is” - Kanye West We are being completely open, honest, and blunt in this episode. You may claim that money isn’t everything, but you need it. Everyone lives a different journey and has a different mindset about money, and that’s okay. Get clarity on what it means to you and what financial freedom looks like. Then embrace the fact that money is important. Without money, you cannot have abundance. You can’t give from a place of want. You should have enough cash flow to sustain yourself and your family. You need money to give to others. Whether you like it or not, money is a critical tool in survival. 80% of US citizens live paycheck-to-paycheck. Is that really what you want for your life? Financial freedom allows you to live a life of fulfillment Ray poignantly stated that we were willing to trade 5-10 years of our life—which most aren’t willing to do—so we could live a life that most can’t. We hustle and work hard for what we’ve earned, and it’s allowed us the financial freedom that we desired. It was never about the money, but growing into the life we want to live. We can take our daughter to Disney World without hesitation. We can move wherever we want, whenever we want. We focus on experiences over material things. We give to worthy causes. Because those are the things we value. What gets us those things? Money. We desire to give Valentina magic moments. We don’t want to place our limiting beliefs on her by saying something is not possible. The reality is the world is full of possibilities—but you have to be willing to work hard for it. Inactivity is not the goal, doing what excites you IS What hit me hard and made me realize it was time to quit my teaching job is when someone said I only had 25 more years to go before retirement. I couldn’t fathom working another 25 years in a job I wasn’t invested in. Not only that, but our mindset has shifted. If we are doing something we love, why would we want to retire? I’m not going to pretend I’m happy for 25 years while waiting on a retirement fund that might not even exist when I retire. We don’t want to retire early. We want to spend our lives doing what excites us. Do you want to live a lie and end up broke and unfulfilled? Financial freedom for us means having enough money to live the life that we’ve imagined and finding fulfillment. Keep listening as we chat about some more topics from the book, cashflow, and much more. Remember, there is no excuse for not living the life you want to live! Resources & People Mentioned by Tim Ferriss by Greg McKeown Connect With Ramon and Christy with us now! Both On Board on Instagram: Ray’s Instagram - Christy’s Instagram - Facebook - Facebook - Subscribe to Both on Boardon , , , , Spotify
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Have the Strength and Courage to Overcome Your Fear, Ep #029
10/31/2019
Have the Strength and Courage to Overcome Your Fear, Ep #029
Do you have the strength and courage it takes to overcome the fear and limiting beliefs that are holding you back? Are you afraid to go against the grain of how society dictates you need to live? If you’re seeking approval from everyone else but unhappy with who you are, it’s time to let go. It’s time to embrace your inner strength, be courageous, and take back control of your life. This episode of Both on Board is dedicated to being courageous and what that looks like for us. Highlights From Our Conversation [0:45] Courage & Bravery [4:40] Reach clarity: Ask deeper questions [9:00] Incorporate this into your life [12:10] What boundaries have you set? [18:15] Overcome limiting beliefs [24:10] Be careful who you seek advice from [30:35] How to act in spite of fear [34:00] Simple things make a large impact [39:45] Do what is sustainable What does your soul need? Are you lying to yourself about what you really want in life? Maybe you’re conforming to someone else’s dreams. Or you’ve kept yourself so busy that you haven’t given yourself time to learn what your purpose is in this life. It’s not about making other people happy. It’s about building a life that leaves you happy and fulfilled. It doesn't have to be a wife and kids, a house or a car. It doesn’t have to be the cookie-cutter expectations of society. Give yourself permission to live life on your terms. Have the courage and bravery to live the life you’ve imagined for yourself. Set aside time to find that clarity and ask deeper questions. What walls do you need to tear down? We all build walls around ourselves to some extent as a means of protection. Protection from hurt, embarrassment, and the cruelty that we associate with the world. If you find yourself hiding behind the walls and limiting beliefs you’ve constructed for yourself, ask yourself this question: What is it that you’re afraid of? Listen to what those inner voices are telling you—because they’re clues to what you need to overcome. This inner chatter that makes you feel worthless and afraid is a protection mechanism that you can learn to disarm. Be compassionate with yourself, but start to tear down those walls brick-by-brick. Life is too short to not live it the way you want to. Feel it, acknowledge it, then allow yourself to overcome your fear and move on to something better. Choose your mentors and advisors wisely We always recommend finding a coach or advisor you trust that you can seek advice from. But we want to caution you to choose wisely. You shouldn’t run to a friend or family member who can’t be objective. You’ll learn nothing from someone who always takes your side. Even worse, if the person isn’t qualified, their limiting beliefs and outlook on the world can hinder your progress. Find a coach or a mentor who is where you are trying to go. You need someone objective who will understand the scope of what you’re going through and help you see the big picture. They’ll help you limit the outside influences and voices that are telling you you’re not good enough. It takes strength and courage to overcome fear Stop telling yourself that you’ll do something when you’re no longer afraid. The fear will never go away—you have to act in spite of it. How much time are you wasting by letting your fear win? What is your fear costing you? Are you going to look back on your life in 20 years and wonder where it all went? Don’t set yourself up to be filled with regret. You have the permission to live the life you desire. Don’t allow yourself to live in fear. We encourage you to find ways to build belief in yourself. Journal, meditate, pray, and do something that builds your courage. Little-by-little you can change your life, until one day you realize you’re truly living your dreams. Resources & People Mentioned by Brian Tracy by Gabrielle Bernstein Connect With Ramon and Christy Both On Board on Instagram: Ray’s Instagram - Christy’s Instagram - Facebook - Facebook - Subscribe to Both on Boardon , , , , Spotify
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Our Framework for Healthy Conflict Resolution, Ep #028
10/24/2019
Our Framework for Healthy Conflict Resolution, Ep #028
Conflict is inevitable in a relationship—healthy conflict resolution seems rare. Too often couples let their anger fester, disagreements build, and resentment settles in. With the divorce rate so high, how do you avoid becoming a statistic? How do you change the conversation? In this episode of Both on Board, we share our framework for healthy conflict resolution to build a marriage that lasts. Highlights From Our Conversation [0:50] The topic of conflict [4:00] Our framework for conflict resolution [6:15] Learn how to actively listen [9:00] What else could this conflict mean? [13:35] DO NOT bring up the past [15:00] Be aware of your unconscious programming [18:25] What are you committed to? [21:50] Pursue your shared vision [23:50] Your words are powerful [25:00] Practice your daily disciplines [28:30] The importance of a shared vision [31:35] What am I resisting in myself? Healthy conflict resolution begins with trust Your relationship needs to be built on mutual trust. Without it, you have a shaky foundation at best. If you don’t trust each other, you allow doubt to creep in. You begin to lose the belief that your spouse has your best interest in mind. This is a breeding ground for marital dysfunction. Not only do you need to build trust, but you also need to believe in each other. Believe that the other person does have your best interest in mind. Believe that they are coming from a place of love. By doing these things, you are creating an environment for healthy conflict. There are a few other things that make up our basic framework—make sure to listen to the whole episode to hear more! Listen to understand—not to respond Active listening is one of the hardest things to master for anyone (ahem, we women may argue that it’s harder for men to master…). Think about it—you spend the entire time your spouse is talking trying to think of a comeback. Are you listening and comprehending what they’re saying? Or just preparing your rebuttal? Instead of becoming defensive, respond by repeating what you think your spouse is trying to say. They’ll see that you’re actively listening, trying to understand your point of view, and making an effort. Try to put yourself in their shoes and be compassionate. That doesn’t mean that you have to agree. But you are allowing each other to feel heard. What do you do if you feel you’re not being heard? Listen to find out our tips! How did your family handle conflict resolution? It is human nature to react to conflict the way you were conditioned to react. Ray and I grew up in completely different households and different environments. My family avoided conflict entirely, so I am programmed to avoid conflict. Ray’s family fought it out—loud and proud—and then subsequently forgot about it. Two different worlds collide when you get married. We are very different people coming together and need to find conflict resolution that works for us. So bring awareness to your style of conflict. I have to make sure I don’t withdraw from conflict and pretend there isn’t an issue. Ray has to learn to take a step back and let things simmer down before we have a conversation. What type of conflict resolution (or lack thereof) did your family model in your childhood? Remember you are 100% accountable for yourself There’s a saying that goes something like this: When you hammer a nail into a piece of wood the nails can be removed. But holes are left behind. So it is in an argument. If you are spewing hurtful words and reacting out of anger and frustration, those are words you can never take back. You can never undo the damage you’ve caused by not controlling your words. Your words are powerful. Use them to build each other up, not tear each other down. We believe in forgiveness—but the process of forgetting is far harder. So take responsibility for yourself. Make sure that you are taking care of you and filling your cup first so that you can put your best self forward and argue from a place of compassion and understanding, not anger. Remember, you are 100% complete. Your spouse is 100% complete. You don’t complete each other. But when you come together you are exponentially better. Resources & People Mentioned with us now! Connect With Ramon and Christy Both On Board on Instagram: Ray’s Instagram - Christy’s Instagram - Facebook - Facebook - Subscribe to Both on Boardon , , , , Spotify
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Overcoming Obstacles as a Couple, Ep #027
10/17/2019
Overcoming Obstacles as a Couple, Ep #027
Trying to overcome obstacles alone is impossible, but together you can feel invincible. 75Hard has taught us so much about who we are as individuals and we’ve learned so much about each other. It’s about mental toughness, exposing weaknesses, setting priorities, and removing time-wasting activities for your life. This episode of Both on Board is dedicated to learning how to be an overcomer. Highlights From Our Conversation [2:50] 75Hard Struggles [8:15] Exposing your weaknesses [13:00] Make Priorities fit the time you have [16:40] Be intentional with everything you do [18:40] The rain won’t last forever [25:00] Bring awareness to your escapes [29:00] Accountability, support, and understanding [31:40] We are all about connection Overcome obstacles by exposing your weaknesses 75Hard has pushed us to unexpected levels. Instead of the physical struggles that we’ve expected, our struggles have been emotional. It’s been internal. Overcoming the internal chatter that is what strengthens you. No one is forcing us to do this. We don’t have to do this. But we are choosing to do this. And you know what? I am going to find a way to make this happen no matter what. Feelings are temporary, right? 75Hard is bringing out struggles in each of us but we know why we’re doing this and we know we can overcome the temporary struggles. We didn’t start 75Hard to stay the same. We welcome the struggles, the change, and growth. We want to show up to this life at a higher level. What is your why? You show up for what you prioritize Everyone always asks “how do you find the time to fit that into your schedule?”. We have the same amount of time as everyone else. The difference is we make our priorities fit the time that we have. We make time for 75Hard, and our business, and our family because they are important to us. We are pushing ourselves out of our comfort zones. There is a cost to comfort: You are not growing or expanding. Time is never an issue. We don’t delay our priorities. We face them head-on, and show up mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. We are learning to be intentional about everything we do. You must decide, commit, and remove time from the equation. You must take back your time and make it work for you. Remember the rain doesn’t last forever It’s been a rainy few days in Florida. We’ve had some rainy outdoor walks but spend our days believing God will open a window of time so we won’t get poured on. The opportunity will come—it won’t rain forever. So it is in our personal lives. We all go through similar issues and struggles. But they don’t last forever. Don’t waste time being a victim. Things happen, but they don’t happen to you. You and only you are responsible for how you react. So show up with the belief that you can take on anything and everything that comes your way. Create a life you don’t desire to escape We all have ways that we try to escape life. Watching TV, scrolling on social media, YouTube videos, drinking alcohol, etc. The list goes on and on. We think these temporary escapes will be freeing. Instead, we often feel drained and guilty for wasting our time. It’s time to bring awareness to what we do to escape. Where do you devote your time? Replace it with practices that put you in a better place. Read a book. Go for a walk. Time is emotion, and what we choose to focus on matters. Talk about what your priorities are, and support each other when you’re not at 100%. Accountability, support, and understanding are key to overcoming the hurdles you face. Listen to the whole episode as we share our struggles, challenges, and wins together. Resources & People Mentioned by David Goggins by Andy Frisella by the Shanti Christo Foundation with us now! Connect With Ramon and Christy Both On Board on Instagram: Ray’s Instagram - Christy’s Instagram - Facebook - Facebook - Subscribe to Both on Boardon , , , , Spotify
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