Mindset Coach: How to Use Your Words to Change Reality (Mark England)

What if the words you speak are the invisible prison keeping you from better relationships, freedom, and the life you were born to live?

Josh Trent welcomes Mindset Coach and Language Expert Mark England on the Wellness and Wisdom Podcast, episode 809, to reveal how the specific words you speak every day are silently building either your freedom or your prison, why the English language as most people use it functions as a slave language rooted in  the fear of not being good enough, and how changing even one word in the story you tell yourself can dissolve a pattern that has been running your life.

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In This Episode, Mark England Uncovers:

[01:10] Telephobia Is Destroying Your Relationships

• How the fear of not being good enough is ruining our relationships.
• Why many people start focusing on self-development because of telephobia.
• How language reinforces telephobia and vice versa.
• Why we use words to get people to like us.
• The definition of victim mentality.
• How breathing better creates more clarity and makes us better listener.

Resources:

• Mark England

[12:15] We Inherit Our Parents' Breath

• How most people are modeled improper breathing patterns and disempowering communication from childhood.
• Why the inability to breathe while someone else is talking creates disconnection in relationships.
• How we inherit our parents' breathing patterns the same way we inherit their words and language.
• Why drama at home causes children's breath to be in the chest and decrease their learning ability.
• The story of a woman who had the same relationship with five different men, and how the root traced back to a moment when she was seven years old.

Resources:

• Mark Divine

[17:35] The Story That Never Leaves Your Head

• The definition of psychological and emotional indigestion.
• Why presence is the entire foundation of a good relationship.
• Why the most commonly purchased medications are for indigestion and constipation, and what our inner stories may have to do with it.
• How changing one word in a sentence from "us" to "himself" shifted a woman's world and opened the door to compassion she had never been able to access before.

[21:45] Abracadabra: With My Word, I Create

• The Aramaic etymology of abracadabra.
• How ancient cultures would triangulate the word and wear it around their necks as a daily reminder of the power and mechanism of the spoken word.
• Why Kidland's Law connects directly to abracadabra and our capacity to work on our mindset.
• Why Mark read 143 definitions of mindset in a single sitting, and what the inconsistency across all of them revealed.
• How the APA's definition of mindset is so complex that it becomes nearly impossible to actually work with.
• Why your mindset is simply the story you tell yourself, and that story is made of words.
• The DSM-5 diagnostic criteria for selective mutism compared to a plain-language reframe of the exact same behavior.

Resources:

• William Arthur Jewelry

[31:10] Soft Talk: The Gateway Drug to Your Story

• How complexity is the very mechanism that keeps people sick and stuck, and why it has its own name: the Trauma Industrial Complex.
• Why the solution to a complicated life problem is simplicity.
• How soft talk creates a victim mentality.
• Why soft talk creates ambiguity and makes it nearly impossible to take ownership of your own actions.

[38:00] Soft Talk Transformed Everything

• Why removing soft talk unlocked something in Josh's speaking, team, and personal communication that could never be unseen.
• How shifting from "I can't" to "I'm learning" is not just a word swap but a rewiring of identity.
• Why Mark considers the English language, as it is most commonly used, a slave language.
• The difference between using words consciously versus being used by them unconsciously.
• Why negations and "I don't know" force us to stare at the worst-case scenario.
• How every transformation is directly tied to using different words.

[44:25] Your Life Is a Story. What Words Is It Made Of?

• Why becoming aware of soft talk can radically shift a life without needing to change anything else first.
• Why someone's life is a story, that story is made of words, and changing the words changes everything downstream.
• The faster the story goes, the harder it is to change.
• Why people speaking quickly with breath trapped in the throat are nearly impossible to reach until the breath comes down first.
• The three speeds of storytelling.

[47:40] Identity Is a Noun Prison

• Why we solidify things that are in motion.
• How language tricks us into being fixed, and why breaking out sometimes requires a metaphorical crowbar and dynamite.
• Why turning to plant medicines to shatter an identity can sometimes reinforce it instead.
• The 4-Step Method (4-Stepping): title the story and write it out in full conversational sentences, read it out loud, then read it again at 70% of your normal speaking rate, and breathe at the end of each sentence.
• Why full sentences capture the meaning and emotional charge that bullets always miss.
• How unlocking the breath first is what makes word-level changes possible.

[53:05] The Evolution of Coaching

• Why we can't read the label from inside the jar.
• How breakthrough happens when we go from being a participant to the observer of our own story.
• Why coaching coaches functions like an MLM pyramid, where nobody is actually working with a real human being.
• Why we cannot coach someone else well if we have not first done the work on ourselves.
• The origin of the word "coach."
• Why a coach is a person who helps transport someone from where they are to where they want to be.

Resources:

• JoshTrent.com/Enlifted - Free 30-minute training

[01:10:00] The Wisdom of Not Knowing

• Why shortcuts in coaching always become the long cuts.
• How the ultimate exam of life is learning to unconditionally love ourselves and others.
• Why Mark is not scared of missing out on something in life.

[01:13:50] The 50-Year Commitment

• The distinction between becoming an elder and becoming elderly.
• How the elder phase is defined by great questions and complete non-attachment to outcomes.
• Why inspiration feels good, but discipline and curiosity will outperform it every time.
• Attraction and passion are not a choice.
• How Mark's mother's death shaped everything that followed.
• Why he rehearsed 85 times for his TEDx Talk and delivered it without missing a single word.
• How walking offstage led to an altered state, a vision of the path, and a 50-year commitment.

Resources:

• Alison Armstrong
• Carlos Castaneda
• Richard Bandler
• Mark England's TEDx RVA Talk: Identity vs. Process

[01:24:25] The Only Starting Point Is Right Here, Right Now

• Why the Dharma rarely announces itself clearly.
• The three-part path to purpose: explore your interests, develop your passions, and commit to your purposes, plural not singular.
• Why insisting on finding a single purpose can cause psychological and emotional harm.
• How improving our story and unlocking our breath gradually makes us more sensitive to the subtle cues that were already there all along.

"Because someone's life is a story, and someone's story is made of words, if they change their words, they're going to change their story. If they change their story, they're going to change their life." — Mark England

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All Resources From This Episode

• Mark England
• Mark Divine
• William Arthur Jewelry
• JoshTrent.com/Enlifted - Free 30-minute training
• Alison Armstrong
• Carlos Castaneda
• Richard Bandler
• Mark England's TEDx RVA Talk: Identity vs. Process

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