Expanding Masculinity : From Adrenaline to Authenticity with Steve Borloz
Release Date: 08/15/2024
Paul Noiles on, The Malevolent Nature of Emotional Abuse
The Gifts of Trauma
Hosted by Rosemary Davies-Janes & J’aime Rothbard. Produced by J’aime Rothbard. How do smart, accomplished people end up in emotionally abusive relationships without realizing it? As both a trauma coach and former victim, Paul illuminates how emotional abuse operates through fear, manipulation, and control—and why it's so difficult to recognize and name. He also touches on common signs; chronic invalidation, gaslighting, control disguised as concern, walking on eggshells, confusion, toxic shame, and how our earliest attachments can create susceptibility. In this...
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Mandy Rodstrom & Debbie Mason on, Creating Spaces for Stuttering to Exist
The Gifts of Trauma
Mandy Rodstrom & Debbie Mason on, Creating Spaces for Stuttering to Exist Hosted by Rosemary Davies-Janes. Produced by J’aime Rothbard. What if traditional fluency-focused approaches designed to "fix" stuttering cause more harm than healing? In this conversation, speech therapists Mandy Rodstrom and Debbie Mason share personal and clinical insights that reveal how trauma, nervous system dysregulation and social stigma profoundly impact those who stammer. They highlight the critical importance of connecting people who stutter with supportive communities where stuttering is welcomed and...
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Cat McCarthy on Emergent Authenticity & Rewriting Scripts
The Gifts of Trauma
Hosted by Kevin Young. Produced by J’aime Rothbard. What happens when we stop performing and start being? Cat guides us through her transformational journey from codependent conditioning to embodied authenticity. With wisdom drawn from 30+ years of yoga practice, plant medicine journeys, and navigating her own healing from Breast Cancer, Cat reveals why the answers we seek aren't outside ourselves, but waiting to be uncovered within. Cat reflects on: - How shedding her protective layers enabled her to access her true strength - Her expanded her capacity to be present, hold space for others...
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Zach Bush, MD & Eva Dalak on Relating to Our Original Imprint: Nature & Collective Healing.
The Gifts of Trauma
Hosted by J’aime Rothbard & Rosemary Davies-Janes. Produced by J’aime Rothbard. What if the path to inner and outer peace—and to the survival of our species—runs through our biology, not just our psychology? In this bonus finale to our Relating Series, Eva and Zach guide us beyond the familiar terrain of human-to-human relating to the new ground of relating to our original imprint. This conversation weaves hard science with systems thinking and spiritual wisdom to show that rather than transcending our humanity, healing our separation wound is about fully embracing our original...
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Unsafe! Navigating Domestic, Public and Systemic Violence, with Dr Valerie (Vimalasara) Mason-John and Jordan Decker
The Gifts of Trauma
Hosted by Rosemary Davies-Janes and J’aime Rothbard. Produced by J’aime Rothbard. This vulnerable conversation continues exploring relating through the LGBTQ+ lens, as Vimalasara and Jordan share insights rarely disclosed to the heteronormative population. Jordan reflects on the inner work required to create safety for others—unpacking his own trauma so he can hold space for someone else's. Vimalasara addresses the harsh realities of domestic violence in LGBTQ+ communities, highlighting the barriers to seeking help—being subjected to transphobia, homophobia, or violence in...
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Gender & Identity, From Unconscious to Conscious with Valerie (Vimalasara) Mason-John and Jordan Decker
The Gifts of Trauma
Hosted by Rosemary Davies-Janes and J’aime Rothbard. Produced by J’aime Rothbard. This thought provoking conversation explores relating through the LGBTQ+ lens, but not only presented to that community. Instead it is a vulnerable and honest sharing in which Vimalarara and Jordan offer insights and perspectives rarely disclosed to the heteronormative population. In this inclusive episode they touch on the: - Use of pronouns can create a sense of safety and inclusion - Perspective of gender as a social construct rather than a personal identity - Historical impact of religious and...
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Reducing Relationship Issues Through Proactive Design & Planning, with Dr Stan Tatkin and Leila Bahri-Lucas
The Gifts of Trauma
Hosted by Rosemary Davies-Janes & Leila Bahri-Lucas. Produced by J’aime Rothbard. This episode reminds us that the unconscious processes that drive humans, our memories and survival instincts, often lead to misunderstandings and reactive behaviors. Consequently, most relationship issues, while they may seem personal, actually stem from our innate drives. Stan outlines that rather than being approached casually, successful relationships require deliberate design, shared purpose, defined roles, and agreed-upon principles. We also explore: - The PPPRRR Approach: Couples can...
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Polyamory: Attachment, Trauma & Relational Growth Unpacked, with Jessica Fern, David Cooley & JP Bolhuis
The Gifts of Trauma
Hosted by Rosemary Davies-Janes. Produced by J’aime Rothbard. This episode introduces Polyamory, a form of consensual non-monogamy, as a relational style involving multiple loving, consensual, romantic partners simultaneously. It emphasizes trust, open communication (as opposed to secretive ‘cheating’) and mutual agreement. Jessica and David, themselves polyamory practitioners and co-authors of two books on Polyamory, are joined by JP Bolhuis, a Psychosocial Therapist, Compassionate Inquiry Practitioner and Private Mentor who recently entered the world of polyamory. Jesica and David...
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Rethinking Sex Addiction: Trauma, Shame & Compulsive Sexuality, with Diana Safta & Silva Neves
The Gifts of Trauma
Hosted by J’aime Rothbard and Rosemary Davies-Janes. Produced by J’aime Rothbard. In this soft and flowing conversation, Silva Neves differentiates the term "sex addiction" from "sexual compulsivity," as addiction is an independent disorder, while compulsion arises from environmental distress. Like food, sex is a primary drive, and has a natural physiological stopping point not present in other addictions. The analogy of food and diverse cuisines to normalize conversations about sexuality, highlighting that different tastes and preferences in food are accepted, but similar...
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Healing Northern Ireland: From Personal Trauma to Societal Change, with Dr Paul Gallagher
The Gifts of Trauma
Hosted by Kevin Young. Produced by J’aime Rothbard. In this conversation, Kevin introduces us to Dr Paul Gallagher, a lecturer in trauma studies at Cork University who started his formal education at age 40, after a significant "gap" in his life. Born in Belfast in 1972 at the height of "The Troubles," Paul recounts growing up in a war zone, where at 21, his home was invaded and his family held hostage. During this attack, he was shot and paralysed, and while physical and medical care were provided, psychological support was not. Paul highlights: - The crucial roles of...
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Steve’s story demonstrates the transformative power of radical change as he shares how he risked all to shed false identities, confront his inner demons, and embrace his inner truth, strength and wisdom.
In his unwavering pursuit of his truth, Steve's epic journey took him from loneliness, disconnection, adrenaline and porn addictions, to authenticity, deep inner peace and connectedness. With raw vulnerability he shares the deep fear he felt when making radical life changes, leaping from a safe, successful lifestyle into uncharted territory, to recreate his life on his own terms.
He delves deep into the harsh realities of overwhelming emotional pain, social isolation, self-doubt and his intense longing for genuine connection, as well as the internal conflicts that arose when old patterns confronted his newfound authenticity.
Steve’s struggle with risk-taking behaviors and self-judgment will resonate with anyone who's ever felt at war with themselves. Amidst these challenges, Steve leaned into the transformative powers of self-compassion and acceptance, and the strength that came from embracing his vulnerabilities.
Join us to hear how Steve worked through his:
• Overwhelming emotional pain, which was both a source of struggle and a catalyst for change.
• Fear of not knowing who he would be, after making radical life changes; letting go of his previous identities, his successful career (risking his financial stability and self-sufficiency) moving to a new country and entering a completely different field of work.
• Social isolation, arising from his extreme sensitivity and the intensity of his emotions, for even as he was seeking community and connection, he often felt alone and disconnected.
• Risk-taking and adrenaline-seeking behaviors, as he recognized they were not aligned with his authentic self.
• Harsh self-judgment which led him to accept his vulnerabilities, and accept the challenge of practicing self-compassion, a practice that was integral to his journey, as it ultimately shaped his understanding of authenticity, intimacy and true connection.
For anyone feeling lost, disconnected, or trapped in a life that no longer serves them, Steve’s story will inspire you to:
• Question social expectations & ingrained beliefs • Face your fears & embrace change
• Seek genuine connections & live authentically • Cultivate self-compassion & inner peace
• Embrace your true self, even parts you've rejected • Build meaningful connections with others
• Examine addictions & destructive behaviors • Utilize curiosity as a personal growth tool
Steve’s powerful story will challenge you to examine your own life through a lens of fulfillment and authenticity. For anyone struggling to uncover their own truth, let his experiences inspire you to embrace self compassion and vulnerability, challenge your perceptions, and dare to live authentically.
About Steve Borloz:
Compassionate Inquiry® Training Facilitator, Circle Leader, Certified Practitioner
In 2012, Steve embarked on a profound journey of self-discovery in Cape Town, South Africa. His path, deeply influenced by Gabor Maté’s book, In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts, led him to a new understanding of compassion's role in healing.
As a Marketing Director, Steve experienced the pressures of corporate life, which ignited his commitment to self-regulation and compassionate care in the workplace. His journey through addiction, recovery and personal growth has further deepened his understanding of compassion's transformative power.
Being a passionate Kundalini Yoga Instructor became a significant role in Steve’s journey. He taught yoga with the Prison Freedom Project in South Africa. He also co-developed a mindfulness-based routine at an Addiction Treatment Centre in Cape Town, demonstrating his practical experience and expertise in mindfulness, addiction, and yoga.
Inspired by Gabor’s psychotherapeutic approach, Steve recognized the importance of Compassionate Inquiry® in overcoming various coping mechanisms and fostering long-lasting personal change.
Since 2019, Steve has been involved in the Compassionate Inquiry® community, progressing from a training participant to an intern supporting training Facilitators, to a mentee, and eventually certifying as a Compassionate Inquiry® Practitioner. Since 2022, he has been a Compassionate Inquiry® professional training Facilitator and a Compassionate Inquiry® group therapy Circle Leader.
Steve’s journey is a testament to his dedication to personal and professional growth, He continues to explore his attachment patterns with alternative healing methods such as shamanism, energy healing, men’s groups, and plant medicine. His commitment to supporting others in recognizing their own gifts is unwavering, as he pursues a MA in Counseling Psychology at Webster University in Geneva.
Resources:
Compassionate Inquiry Profile
Professional Website
Relevant Links:
The Presence Process Portal
ManKind Project
Webster Counseling Center
Book:
In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction