Expanding Masculinity : From Adrenaline to Authenticity with Steve Borloz
Release Date: 08/15/2024
Reducing Relationship Issues Through Proactive Design & Planning, with Dr Stan Tatkin and Leila Bahri-Lucas
The Gifts of Trauma
Hosted by Rosemary Davies-Janes & Leila Bahri-Lucas. Produced by J’aime Rothbard. This episode reminds us that the unconscious processes that drive humans, our memories and survival instincts, often lead to misunderstandings and reactive behaviors. Consequently, most relationship issues, while they may seem personal, actually stem from our innate drives. Stan outlines that rather than being approached casually, successful relationships require deliberate design, shared purpose, defined roles, and agreed-upon principles. We also explore: - The PPPRRR Approach: Couples can...
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Polyamory: Attachment, Trauma & Relational Growth Unpacked, with Jessica Fern, David Cooley & JP Bolhuis
The Gifts of Trauma
Hosted by Rosemary Davies-Janes. Produced by J’aime Rothbard. This episode introduces Polyamory, a form of consensual non-monogamy, as a relational style involving multiple loving, consensual, romantic partners simultaneously. It emphasizes trust, open communication (as opposed to secretive ‘cheating’) and mutual agreement. Jessica and David, themselves polyamory practitioners and co-authors of two books on Polyamory, are joined by JP Bolhuis, a Psychosocial Therapist, Compassionate Inquiry Practitioner and Private Mentor who recently entered the world of polyamory. Jesica and David...
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Rethinking Sex Addiction: Trauma, Shame & Compulsive Sexuality, with Diana Safta & Silva Neves
The Gifts of Trauma
Hosted by J’aime Rothbard and Rosemary Davies-Janes. Produced by J’aime Rothbard. In this soft and flowing conversation, Silva Neves differentiates the term "sex addiction" from "sexual compulsivity," as addiction is an independent disorder, while compulsion arises from environmental distress. Like food, sex is a primary drive, and has a natural physiological stopping point not present in other addictions. The analogy of food and diverse cuisines to normalize conversations about sexuality, highlighting that different tastes and preferences in food are accepted, but similar...
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Healing Northern Ireland: From Personal Trauma to Societal Change, with Dr Paul Gallagher
The Gifts of Trauma
Hosted by Kevin Young. Produced by J’aime Rothbard. In this conversation, Kevin introduces us to Dr Paul Gallagher, a lecturer in trauma studies at Cork University who started his formal education at age 40, after a significant "gap" in his life. Born in Belfast in 1972 at the height of "The Troubles," Paul recounts growing up in a war zone, where at 21, his home was invaded and his family held hostage. During this attack, he was shot and paralysed, and while physical and medical care were provided, psychological support was not. Paul highlights: - The crucial roles of...
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Psychedelics, Hakomi, and the Gift of Self-Discovery, with Tony Hoare
The Gifts of Trauma
Hosted by Kevin Young. Produced by J’aime Rothbard. Tony shares his personal journey, from growing up gay in the 60s, to experiencing sexual trauma and seeking healing in his 50s. He views safety, kindness, and gentleness as essential for healing, as they invite us to lower our shields and ‘just be.’ Having worked in the psychedelic world for 2 decades, Tony stresses that profound psychedelic experiences are only valuable if they lead to a greater sense of ease and conscious awareness with which we can navigate our challenging world. He also recounts: - The development of gentler, more...
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The Trauma of Infertility, with Leila Bahri-Lucas
The Gifts of Trauma
Hosted by Rosemary Davies-Janes. Produced by J’aime Rothbard. In this gentle, heart-felt conversation, Leila guides us through the emotional landscape of infertility debunking common myths and misconceptions. She also shares her personal story, from 11 rounds of IVF to complete emotional collapse, which led her to agency, freedom, a new beginning and a baby. Leila also addresses: - How Infertility, as a trauma in its own right can unearth feelings of shame and worthlessness - Why trauma-informed support can ease the emotional toll of infertility medical interventions...
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Menopause: From Estrogen Washing to Social Silence, with Dr Aisling Quiery & Rati Roberta Riccardi
The Gifts of Trauma
Hosted by Kevin Young. Produced by J’aime Rothbard. In this conversation, our guests forge a link between childhood trauma and the severity of menopausal symptoms. Aisling, a GP who is herself experiencing perimenopause, notes that the menopausal women who consult her often carry immense stress from being "sandwiched" between their peak career responsibilities and caring for children, grandchildren and aging parents. Together Aisling and Rati contrast: - "Estrogen Washing" a term Aisling coined to suggest that HRT often serves as a "wash" which may offer temporary relief but is...
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Menopause: From Multitasking Queen to Second Girlhood, with Dr Priya Duggal and Rosio Fuentes
The Gifts of Trauma
Hosted by Rosemary Davies-Janes. Produced by J’aime Rothbard Join us for this wide ranging conversation between a Menopausal Naturopathic doctor and a Therapist who lives with Ehlers Danlos Syndrome while mothering a neurodivergent family and experiencing Menopause. Together, Rosie and Priya address the many physiological, emotional and practical implications of Menopause "tipping points" for women’s health. They highlight that: - Living an inauthentic life (always "doing" for others) can create physical symptoms, likewise addiction patterns may emerge or intensify if unmet...
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Menopause Pruning: Clearing Space for Authenticity, with Inés Zabalaga & Kate Hazlitt, ND
The Gifts of Trauma
Hosted by Rosemary Davies-Janes. Produced by J’aime Rothbard This conversation moves from the medicalization of menopause to reclaiming it as a natural process; an important, transformative life stage marked by growth, development, and renewal, not an illness or pathology. Kate and Inés advocate for shifting from symptom management to trusting the body's innate capacity and involving the entire community in understanding this transition. Inés and Kate highlight:: - Brain Pruning which "chops away" old ways of thinking and being, making way for authenticity, new identity, and a...
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Unveiling Indian Cultural Trauma, with Mansi Poddar
The Gifts of Trauma
Hosted by Rosemary Davies-Janes. Produced by J’aime Rothbard. This conversation exposes the impact of cultural trauma on Indian mental and emotional well-being and the conflicts these cultural pressures can cause. After outlining how therapeutic approaches can ease the pain, transform lives and begin to shift cultural norms, expectations and beliefs, Mansi asserts that having dreams, desires, and boundaries is an expression of one's wholeness, not a betrayal of others. Cultural dynamics explored include: - The expectation that women will sacrifice their personal happiness for family...
info_outlineHosted and Produced by J’aime Rothbard
Steve’s story demonstrates the transformative power of radical change as he shares how he risked all to shed false identities, confront his inner demons, and embrace his inner truth, strength and wisdom.
In his unwavering pursuit of his truth, Steve's epic journey took him from loneliness, disconnection, adrenaline and porn addictions, to authenticity, deep inner peace and connectedness. With raw vulnerability he shares the deep fear he felt when making radical life changes, leaping from a safe, successful lifestyle into uncharted territory, to recreate his life on his own terms.
He delves deep into the harsh realities of overwhelming emotional pain, social isolation, self-doubt and his intense longing for genuine connection, as well as the internal conflicts that arose when old patterns confronted his newfound authenticity.
Steve’s struggle with risk-taking behaviors and self-judgment will resonate with anyone who's ever felt at war with themselves. Amidst these challenges, Steve leaned into the transformative powers of self-compassion and acceptance, and the strength that came from embracing his vulnerabilities.
Join us to hear how Steve worked through his:
• Overwhelming emotional pain, which was both a source of struggle and a catalyst for change.
• Fear of not knowing who he would be, after making radical life changes; letting go of his previous identities, his successful career (risking his financial stability and self-sufficiency) moving to a new country and entering a completely different field of work.
• Social isolation, arising from his extreme sensitivity and the intensity of his emotions, for even as he was seeking community and connection, he often felt alone and disconnected.
• Risk-taking and adrenaline-seeking behaviors, as he recognized they were not aligned with his authentic self.
• Harsh self-judgment which led him to accept his vulnerabilities, and accept the challenge of practicing self-compassion, a practice that was integral to his journey, as it ultimately shaped his understanding of authenticity, intimacy and true connection.
For anyone feeling lost, disconnected, or trapped in a life that no longer serves them, Steve’s story will inspire you to:
• Question social expectations & ingrained beliefs • Face your fears & embrace change
• Seek genuine connections & live authentically • Cultivate self-compassion & inner peace
• Embrace your true self, even parts you've rejected • Build meaningful connections with others
• Examine addictions & destructive behaviors • Utilize curiosity as a personal growth tool
Steve’s powerful story will challenge you to examine your own life through a lens of fulfillment and authenticity. For anyone struggling to uncover their own truth, let his experiences inspire you to embrace self compassion and vulnerability, challenge your perceptions, and dare to live authentically.
About Steve Borloz:
Compassionate Inquiry® Training Facilitator, Circle Leader, Certified Practitioner
In 2012, Steve embarked on a profound journey of self-discovery in Cape Town, South Africa. His path, deeply influenced by Gabor Maté’s book, In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts, led him to a new understanding of compassion's role in healing.
As a Marketing Director, Steve experienced the pressures of corporate life, which ignited his commitment to self-regulation and compassionate care in the workplace. His journey through addiction, recovery and personal growth has further deepened his understanding of compassion's transformative power.
Being a passionate Kundalini Yoga Instructor became a significant role in Steve’s journey. He taught yoga with the Prison Freedom Project in South Africa. He also co-developed a mindfulness-based routine at an Addiction Treatment Centre in Cape Town, demonstrating his practical experience and expertise in mindfulness, addiction, and yoga.
Inspired by Gabor’s psychotherapeutic approach, Steve recognized the importance of Compassionate Inquiry® in overcoming various coping mechanisms and fostering long-lasting personal change.
Since 2019, Steve has been involved in the Compassionate Inquiry® community, progressing from a training participant to an intern supporting training Facilitators, to a mentee, and eventually certifying as a Compassionate Inquiry® Practitioner. Since 2022, he has been a Compassionate Inquiry® professional training Facilitator and a Compassionate Inquiry® group therapy Circle Leader.
Steve’s journey is a testament to his dedication to personal and professional growth, He continues to explore his attachment patterns with alternative healing methods such as shamanism, energy healing, men’s groups, and plant medicine. His commitment to supporting others in recognizing their own gifts is unwavering, as he pursues a MA in Counseling Psychology at Webster University in Geneva.
Resources:
Compassionate Inquiry Profile
Professional Website
Relevant Links:
The Presence Process Portal
ManKind Project
Webster Counseling Center
Book:
In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction