Rethinking Sex Addiction: Trauma, Shame & Compulsive Sexuality, with Diana Safta & Silva Neves
Release Date: 12/11/2025
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The Gifts of Trauma
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Rethinking Sex Addiction: Trauma, Shame & Compulsive Sexuality, with Diana Safta & Silva Neves
The Gifts of Trauma
Hosted by J’aime Rothbard and Rosemary Davies-Janes. Produced by J’aime Rothbard. In this soft and flowing conversation, Silva Neves differentiates the term "sex addiction" from "sexual compulsivity," as addiction is an independent disorder, while compulsion arises from environmental distress. Like food, sex is a primary drive, and has a natural physiological stopping point not present in other addictions. The analogy of food and diverse cuisines to normalize conversations about sexuality, highlighting that different tastes and preferences in food are accepted, but similar...
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The Gifts of Trauma
Hosted by Kevin Young. Produced by J’aime Rothbard. In this conversation, Kevin introduces us to Dr Paul Gallagher, a lecturer in trauma studies at Cork University who started his formal education at age 40, after a significant "gap" in his life. Born in Belfast in 1972 at the height of "The Troubles," Paul recounts growing up in a war zone, where at 21, his home was invaded and his family held hostage. During this attack, he was shot and paralysed, and while physical and medical care were provided, psychological support was not. Paul highlights: - The crucial roles of...
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The Gifts of Trauma
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The Gifts of Trauma
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The Gifts of Trauma
Hosted by Kevin Young. Produced by J’aime Rothbard. In this conversation, our guests forge a link between childhood trauma and the severity of menopausal symptoms. Aisling, a GP who is herself experiencing perimenopause, notes that the menopausal women who consult her often carry immense stress from being "sandwiched" between their peak career responsibilities and caring for children, grandchildren and aging parents. Together Aisling and Rati contrast: - "Estrogen Washing" a term Aisling coined to suggest that HRT often serves as a "wash" which may offer temporary relief but is...
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The Gifts of Trauma
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The Gifts of Trauma
Hosted by Rosemary Davies-Janes. Produced by J’aime Rothbard This conversation moves from the medicalization of menopause to reclaiming it as a natural process; an important, transformative life stage marked by growth, development, and renewal, not an illness or pathology. Kate and Inés advocate for shifting from symptom management to trusting the body's innate capacity and involving the entire community in understanding this transition. Inés and Kate highlight:: - Brain Pruning which "chops away" old ways of thinking and being, making way for authenticity, new identity, and a...
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Unveiling Indian Cultural Trauma, with Mansi Poddar
The Gifts of Trauma
Hosted by Rosemary Davies-Janes. Produced by J’aime Rothbard. This conversation exposes the impact of cultural trauma on Indian mental and emotional well-being and the conflicts these cultural pressures can cause. After outlining how therapeutic approaches can ease the pain, transform lives and begin to shift cultural norms, expectations and beliefs, Mansi asserts that having dreams, desires, and boundaries is an expression of one's wholeness, not a betrayal of others. Cultural dynamics explored include: - The expectation that women will sacrifice their personal happiness for family...
info_outlineHosted by J’aime Rothbard and Rosemary Davies-Janes. Produced by J’aime Rothbard.
In this soft and flowing conversation, Silva Neves differentiates the term "sex addiction" from "sexual compulsivity," as addiction is an independent disorder, while compulsion arises from environmental distress. Like food, sex is a primary drive, and has a natural physiological stopping point not present in other addictions. The analogy of food and diverse cuisines to normalize conversations about sexuality, highlighting that different tastes and preferences in food are accepted, but similar differences in sexuality are often judged.
Diana and Silva also highlight:
- How religions’ prohibition of ‘sex for pleasure’ causes widespread shame,
which has been identified as a significant driver of sexual compulsivity and distress.
- Why medical professionals and therapists feel discomfort discussing sexual issues
- How societal judgments about sexual behaviors suppress curiosity and open communication.
- Why problematic porn viewing is often a symptom of underlying mental health issues
The episode concludes with a message of love, connection, and the idea that sexuality is not the opposite of spirituality, but a part of our common humanity, inviting us to bring softness and curiosity to our inner worlds of pleasure and intimacy.
About Silva Neves, Psychosexual, Relationship EMDR & Trauma Psychotherapist
An award-winning, experienced psychosexual and relationship therapist, Silva is a specialist in the treatment of compulsive sexual behaviours and in working with survivors of sexual abuse. He also offers clinical supervision to psychotherapists, psychologists, counselors and other mental health professionals.
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The author of 4 books: Compulsive Sexual Behaviours, (2021) Sexology, (2023). Erotically Queer, (2023) and Relationally Queer, (2023) Silva also provides clinical training on the topics of sex and relationships, compulsive sexual behaviours, trauma and grief to his international following.
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An editorial board member of Sexual and Relationship Therapy (an international journal) and a Clinical Associate with Pink Therapy, in 2023, Silva was the recipient of the Sexual Freedom Ally Award for his contribution to the field of sexology. His many accreditations include: AccCOSRT, AccCOSRT(sup), UKCP registered, MNCPS(Acc.), Reg.MBACP, and Accred AGSRDT.
About Diana Safta, Compassionate Inquiry Facilitator and Psychotherapist
An active psychologist with a MA in Clinical Psychology, Diana blends Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), Schema Therapy, Systemic Therapy and the teachings of countless diverse courses, workshops and retreats on topics ranging from shamanic practices to mindfulness and meditation. Along with her expertise, Diana’s clients receive her openness, kindness, and compassion.
After realizing that her art career, while interesting, lacked fundamental meaning, then experiencing a divorce, Diana began a personal healing journey in which she learned that her childhood traumas were still actively influencing her adult life decisions.
After 8+ years of psychotherapy, Diana discovered Compassionate Inquiry, which enabled her to release her old coping mechanisms and habits, and move to a higher level of consciousness, embodiment, and self-connection.
Today, in addition to offering therapy to clients in Romanian and English, both online and in-person (in Bucharest), Diana supports the Compassionate Inquiry Community as a Facilitator, Mentor and Circle Leader.
Promotional Message:
If you're interested in experiencing Gabor Maté's trauma healing approach, consider working with a certified Compassionate Inquiry (CI) Practitioner. Access healing support for mental, emotional and physical symptoms, unresolved trauma, relationship issues, addictions, and more. Use this link to access our global directory of multilingual certified professionals. In addition to their years of CI training and regular Certification reviews, like Diana our Practitioners bring the depth of their own personal lived experiences and skills in additional, complementary therapeutic approaches.
Resources
Websites:
Silva’s Sex Positivity Website
Silva’s Counselling Directory Profile
Silva’s Sexology Institute Profile
Courses:
Compassionate Inquiry Training Programs
Podcasts:
The Meaningful Life (2021)
The Smart Connector (2023)
Events:
Books:
Compulsive Sexual Behaviours. A Psycho-Sexual Treatment Guide for Clinicians
Erotically Queer. A Pink Therapy Guide for Practitioners
Relationally Queer. A Pink Therapy Guide for Practitioners
Quotes:
“There was a time before the modern religions, as we know them today, when there was such a different relationship with sex and sexuality,..modern religions… have lots of prohibitions around sexuality.... there are so many things about sex that people believe to be true [that] are just constructs that have [their] origins in religion.” - Silva Neves
“It's much easier to speak about pleasure when it's the culinary taste. But a different aspect of pleasure that [we’ve] been conditioned for hundreds of years not to speak about,. [This] made us exile our connection to sexuality and life force and creativity and the joys of life.” - Diana Safta
Social Media:
FB: Diana
X: Silva