Gender & Identity, From Unconscious to Conscious with Valerie (Vimalasara) Mason-John and Jordan Decker
Release Date: 01/01/2026
Gender & Identity, From Unconscious to Conscious with Valerie (Vimalasara) Mason-John and Jordan Decker
The Gifts of Trauma
Hosted by Rosemary Davies-Janes and J’aime Rothbard. Produced by J’aime Rothbard. This thought provoking conversation explores relating through the LGBTQ+ lens, but not only presented to that community. Instead it is a vulnerable and honest sharing in which Vimalarara and Jordan offer insights and perspectives rarely disclosed to the heteronormative population. In this inclusive episode they touch on the: - Use of pronouns can create a sense of safety and inclusion - Perspective of gender as a social construct rather than a personal identity - Historical impact of religious and...
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Reducing Relationship Issues Through Proactive Design & Planning, with Dr Stan Tatkin and Leila Bahri-Lucas
The Gifts of Trauma
Hosted by Rosemary Davies-Janes & Leila Bahri-Lucas. Produced by J’aime Rothbard. This episode reminds us that the unconscious processes that drive humans, our memories and survival instincts, often lead to misunderstandings and reactive behaviors. Consequently, most relationship issues, while they may seem personal, actually stem from our innate drives. Stan outlines that rather than being approached casually, successful relationships require deliberate design, shared purpose, defined roles, and agreed-upon principles. We also explore: - The PPPRRR Approach: Couples can...
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Polyamory: Attachment, Trauma & Relational Growth Unpacked, with Jessica Fern, David Cooley & JP Bolhuis
The Gifts of Trauma
Hosted by Rosemary Davies-Janes. Produced by J’aime Rothbard. This episode introduces Polyamory, a form of consensual non-monogamy, as a relational style involving multiple loving, consensual, romantic partners simultaneously. It emphasizes trust, open communication (as opposed to secretive ‘cheating’) and mutual agreement. Jessica and David, themselves polyamory practitioners and co-authors of two books on Polyamory, are joined by JP Bolhuis, a Psychosocial Therapist, Compassionate Inquiry Practitioner and Private Mentor who recently entered the world of polyamory. Jesica and David...
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Rethinking Sex Addiction: Trauma, Shame & Compulsive Sexuality, with Diana Safta & Silva Neves
The Gifts of Trauma
Hosted by J’aime Rothbard and Rosemary Davies-Janes. Produced by J’aime Rothbard. In this soft and flowing conversation, Silva Neves differentiates the term "sex addiction" from "sexual compulsivity," as addiction is an independent disorder, while compulsion arises from environmental distress. Like food, sex is a primary drive, and has a natural physiological stopping point not present in other addictions. The analogy of food and diverse cuisines to normalize conversations about sexuality, highlighting that different tastes and preferences in food are accepted, but similar...
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Healing Northern Ireland: From Personal Trauma to Societal Change, with Dr Paul Gallagher
The Gifts of Trauma
Hosted by Kevin Young. Produced by J’aime Rothbard. In this conversation, Kevin introduces us to Dr Paul Gallagher, a lecturer in trauma studies at Cork University who started his formal education at age 40, after a significant "gap" in his life. Born in Belfast in 1972 at the height of "The Troubles," Paul recounts growing up in a war zone, where at 21, his home was invaded and his family held hostage. During this attack, he was shot and paralysed, and while physical and medical care were provided, psychological support was not. Paul highlights: - The crucial roles of...
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Psychedelics, Hakomi, and the Gift of Self-Discovery, with Tony Hoare
The Gifts of Trauma
Hosted by Kevin Young. Produced by J’aime Rothbard. Tony shares his personal journey, from growing up gay in the 60s, to experiencing sexual trauma and seeking healing in his 50s. He views safety, kindness, and gentleness as essential for healing, as they invite us to lower our shields and ‘just be.’ Having worked in the psychedelic world for 2 decades, Tony stresses that profound psychedelic experiences are only valuable if they lead to a greater sense of ease and conscious awareness with which we can navigate our challenging world. He also recounts: - The development of gentler, more...
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The Trauma of Infertility, with Leila Bahri-Lucas
The Gifts of Trauma
Hosted by Rosemary Davies-Janes. Produced by J’aime Rothbard. In this gentle, heart-felt conversation, Leila guides us through the emotional landscape of infertility debunking common myths and misconceptions. She also shares her personal story, from 11 rounds of IVF to complete emotional collapse, which led her to agency, freedom, a new beginning and a baby. Leila also addresses: - How Infertility, as a trauma in its own right can unearth feelings of shame and worthlessness - Why trauma-informed support can ease the emotional toll of infertility medical interventions...
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Menopause: From Estrogen Washing to Social Silence, with Dr Aisling Quiery & Rati Roberta Riccardi
The Gifts of Trauma
Hosted by Kevin Young. Produced by J’aime Rothbard. In this conversation, our guests forge a link between childhood trauma and the severity of menopausal symptoms. Aisling, a GP who is herself experiencing perimenopause, notes that the menopausal women who consult her often carry immense stress from being "sandwiched" between their peak career responsibilities and caring for children, grandchildren and aging parents. Together Aisling and Rati contrast: - "Estrogen Washing" a term Aisling coined to suggest that HRT often serves as a "wash" which may offer temporary relief but is...
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Menopause: From Multitasking Queen to Second Girlhood, with Dr Priya Duggal and Rosio Fuentes
The Gifts of Trauma
Hosted by Rosemary Davies-Janes. Produced by J’aime Rothbard Join us for this wide ranging conversation between a Menopausal Naturopathic doctor and a Therapist who lives with Ehlers Danlos Syndrome while mothering a neurodivergent family and experiencing Menopause. Together, Rosie and Priya address the many physiological, emotional and practical implications of Menopause "tipping points" for women’s health. They highlight that: - Living an inauthentic life (always "doing" for others) can create physical symptoms, likewise addiction patterns may emerge or intensify if unmet...
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Menopause Pruning: Clearing Space for Authenticity, with Inés Zabalaga & Kate Hazlitt, ND
The Gifts of Trauma
Hosted by Rosemary Davies-Janes. Produced by J’aime Rothbard This conversation moves from the medicalization of menopause to reclaiming it as a natural process; an important, transformative life stage marked by growth, development, and renewal, not an illness or pathology. Kate and Inés advocate for shifting from symptom management to trusting the body's innate capacity and involving the entire community in understanding this transition. Inés and Kate highlight:: - Brain Pruning which "chops away" old ways of thinking and being, making way for authenticity, new identity, and a...
info_outlineHosted by Rosemary Davies-Janes and J’aime Rothbard. Produced by J’aime Rothbard.
This thought provoking conversation explores relating through the LGBTQ+ lens, but not only presented to that community. Instead it is a vulnerable and honest sharing in which Vimalarara and Jordan offer insights and perspectives rarely disclosed to the heteronormative population. In this inclusive episode they touch on the:
- Use of pronouns can create a sense of safety and inclusion
- Perspective of gender as a social construct rather than a personal identity
- Historical impact of religious and colonial beliefs on gender and sexuality
- Concept of "care" being used to justify harmful practices (residential schools/conversion therapy)
This conversation concludes with reflections on the importance of self-awareness regarding one's own biases, and how understanding personal challenges can help in supporting others. It also pauses the conversation on care, which will be resumed in the second part of this episode.
About: Dr Valerie (Vimalasara) Mason-John, M.A (hon.doc)
Hailed by Dr. Ken Hardy as, "One of the premier social, cultural, and psychological healers of our time" Vimalasara is an award-winning author of 11 books including Detox Your Heart, Meditations for Emotional Trauma, and Eight Step Recovery Using The Buddha’s Teachings to Overcome Addiction.
They are a co-founder of the secular 8-week course Mindfulness-Based Addiction Recovery (MBAR) and one of the new leading African Descent Voices in the field of Mindfulness Approaches for Addiction. Their latest book, a First Aid Kit for the Mind, Breaking the Cycle of Habitual Behaviours has been described by Gabor Maté as distilling 'Aeons of Wisdom."
About Jordan Decker
Jordan “SameHeart” Decker is a National and International Speaker, Course Creator of the HeartLine Approach to Gender Affirmation, Creator of the Alchemy of Authenticity Coaching, a Polarity Integration Consultant, a Plant Medicine Guide and Accidental Activist for Transyouth Suicide Prevention.
His background in Neuro-linguistic programming, Somatic Experiencing, Compassionate Inquiry® Training with Dr. Gabor Maté, and Diversity, Equity and Inclusion Certificate ground him in educating, consulting and healing trauma through hands-on bodywork.
Tapping into his Indigenous ancestry, he lives to be in alignment with the land, trees, water, air and self. In his spare time he is a cat whisperer and animal lover.
Promotional Message:
If you're not a therapist or healer, but you've heard our guests describe the personal transformations they experienced during their Compassionate Inquiry® journeys, and wonder what that would be like for you... Circles is a 10-week small group experience offered to anyone who wants to experience the power of Gabor Maté’s approach to trauma healing. Use this link to find out if this program is for you.
Resources:
Websites:
Vimalasara's CI Practitioner Profile
Related Links:
Eating Disorder Recovery Programs
Videos:
Courses:
First Aid Kit for the Mind Course
Compassionate Inquiry Professional Training
Books:
Quotes:
“... about heart disease… what these cardiologists are saying, it's not coronary disease, it's culinary disease. “ - Vimalasara
“...we don't think about gender. Because in a way… I really believe that these are social constructs. However, we do live in a world which is gendered, so actually we are treated differently. These constructs …have an impact.” - Vimalasara
“I am going with the flow. I'm definitely learning how to be in the river and float, not drown.”
- Jordan Decker
“I’m not nonbinary in the sense of a third gender or something in-between. I’m nonbinary in the sense that the binary itself is the problem. … My gender is a disruption, a disidentification, a structural exit, a refusal of the classificatory logic that makes gender a legible commodity in the first place.” - Maxi Glamour
Social Media:
IG: @vmasonjohn
@_jdeck__
FB: Vimalasara - Valerie Mason-John