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War Refugees & The Sacrifice of Belonging with Irma Rubil-Jonatan

The Gifts of Trauma

Release Date: 04/24/2025

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Hosted by Kevin Young. Produced by J’aime Rothbard.

Irma openly shares her childhood experiences during the Bosnian war in the early 1990’s. She addresses how the conflict impacted her family, which does not distinguish between Bosniaks, Serbs and Croatians and includes many mixed marriages. Irma also describes the grief she felt over losing her friends, her family, her home, her roots… being a refugee, moving through different countries and not being welcome anywhere. Wherever she went, to be accepted required her to embody new cultural norms, to assimilate, which caused her to lose parts of herself.

Irma also explains:
- How her own complex trauma shaped her understanding of trauma and the importance of therapy
- The necessity of adapting therapeutic approaches to the diverse needs of clients with trauma histories, to ensure they feel safe and supported.
- The non-linear nature of healing, and why some individuals require more therapy than others
- How Compassionate Inquiry’s client-led approach fosters a sense of freedom and safety in which clients can explore their experiences without pressure, and set the pace for their own healing
- How Compassionate Inquiry® moves clients from surviving to thriving by reconnecting them with their true selves, so they can find joy in life again

  • This conversation, between two CI practitioners who grew up in different countries, during war and violent conflict, provides deep insight into the complexities of trauma, the healing process, and the transformative power of Compassionate Inquiry®.

  • About Irma Rubil-Jonatan
    Psychotherapist, Traumatologist, Compassionate Inquiry® Practitioner, Private Mentor & Facilitator

  • Irma is a psychotherapist, specialising in trauma therapy, with a background in forensic setting and extensive experience working with sex offenders, individuals with criminal histories and those exhibiting psychopathic traits.

  • Trained in various therapeutic modalities, including IFS, CPT, Schema Therapy, IRRT, PET, PICT, and NET, Irma is equipped with a diverse toolkit to address complex psychological issues. As a certified trauma specialist, she focuses on supporting survivors of childhood sexual abuse and rape, and individuals affected by personality disorders.

  • Her practice is centred on trauma-related conditions such as PTSD and CPTSD, along with common co-occurring issues like anxiety, depression, eating disorders, addictions, and nightmares. Originally from war-torn Bosnia and later Croatia, she completed her psychology degree in the UK, before specialising in trauma therapy. Her diverse background and extensive training uniquely position her to provide holistic and effective client care.

  • Promotional Link:
    If you're not a therapist or healer, but you've heard our guests describe the personal transformations they experienced during their Compassionate Inquiry® journeys, and wonder what that would be like for you... Circles is a 10-week small group experience offered to anyone who wants to experience the power of Gabor Maté’s approach to trauma healing. Use this link to find out if this program is for you.

  • Resources:

  • Websites:

Irma’s Professional Website

Irma’s Compassionate Inquiry Profile

Blog Posts:

We Choose What We Think We Deserve

New Beginnings are Always Hard

Books: 

The Myth of Normal: Trauma Illness & Healing in a Toxic Culture

In The Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters With Addiction

Poetry Unbound

Quote:
“Let us learn to show our friendship for a man when he's alive and not after he's dead.”
- F Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby

Poem:

The Place Where We Are Right, by Yehuda Amichai

From the place where we are right
Flowers will never grow
In the spring. 

The place where we are right
Is hard and trampled
Like a yard.

But doubts and loves
Dig up the world
Like a mole, like a plow.

And a whisper will be heard in the place
Where the ruined
House once stood.

Social Media:

LI: https://www.linkedin.com/in/irma-rubil-jonatan-63a16b1ab/

IG: https://www.instagram.com/heal.recover.and.rise/ 

FB: https://www.facebook.com/irma.sauerkraut