Libsyn Directory

Intimacy, Healing and "Sand in the System" with Kosha Joubert.

Release Date: 08/28/2025

Reducing Relationship Issues Through Proactive Design & Planning, with Dr Stan Tatkin and Leila Bahri-Lucas

The Gifts of Trauma

Hosted by Rosemary Davies-Janes & Leila Bahri-Lucas. Produced by J’aime Rothbard. This episode reminds us that the unconscious processes that drive humans, our memories and survival instincts, often lead to misunderstandings and reactive behaviors. Consequently, most relationship issues, while they may seem personal, actually stem from our innate drives. Stan outlines that rather than being approached casually, successful relationships require deliberate design, shared purpose, defined roles, and agreed-upon principles. We also explore: - The PPPRRR Approach: Couples can...

Polyamory: Attachment, Trauma & Relational Growth Unpacked, with Jessica Fern, David Cooley & JP Bolhuis

The Gifts of Trauma

Hosted by Rosemary Davies-Janes. Produced by J’aime Rothbard. This episode introduces Polyamory, a form of consensual non-monogamy, as a relational style involving multiple loving, consensual, romantic partners simultaneously. It emphasizes trust, open communication (as opposed to secretive ‘cheating’) and mutual agreement. Jessica and David, themselves polyamory practitioners and co-authors of two books on Polyamory, are joined by JP Bolhuis, a Psychosocial Therapist, Compassionate Inquiry Practitioner and Private Mentor who recently entered the world of polyamory. Jesica and David...

Rethinking Sex Addiction: Trauma, Shame & Compulsive Sexuality, with Diana Safta & Silva Neves

The Gifts of Trauma

Hosted by J’aime Rothbard and Rosemary Davies-Janes. Produced by J’aime Rothbard. In this soft and flowing conversation, Silva Neves differentiates the term "sex addiction" from "sexual compulsivity," as addiction is an independent disorder, while compulsion arises from environmental distress. Like food, sex is a primary drive, and has a natural physiological stopping point not present in other addictions. The analogy of food and diverse cuisines to normalize conversations about sexuality, highlighting that different tastes and preferences in food are accepted, but similar...

Healing Northern Ireland: From Personal Trauma to Societal Change, with Dr Paul Gallagher

The Gifts of Trauma

Hosted by Kevin Young. Produced by J’aime Rothbard. In this conversation, Kevin introduces us to Dr Paul Gallagher, a lecturer in trauma studies at Cork University who started his formal education at age 40, after a significant "gap" in his life. Born in Belfast in 1972 at the height of "The Troubles," Paul recounts growing up in a war zone, where at 21, his home was invaded and his family held hostage. During this attack, he was shot and paralysed, and while physical and medical care were provided, psychological support was not. Paul highlights: - The crucial roles of...

Psychedelics, Hakomi, and the Gift of Self-Discovery, with Tony Hoare

The Gifts of Trauma

Hosted by Kevin Young. Produced by J’aime Rothbard. Tony shares his personal journey, from growing up gay in the 60s, to experiencing sexual trauma and seeking healing in his 50s. He views safety, kindness, and gentleness as essential for healing, as they invite us to lower our shields and ‘just be.’ Having worked in the psychedelic world for 2 decades, Tony stresses that profound psychedelic experiences are only valuable if they lead to a greater sense of ease and conscious awareness with which we can navigate our challenging world. He also recounts: - The development of gentler, more...

The Trauma of Infertility, with Leila Bahri-Lucas

The Gifts of Trauma

Hosted by Rosemary Davies-Janes. Produced by J’aime Rothbard. In this gentle, heart-felt conversation, Leila guides us through the emotional landscape of infertility debunking common myths and misconceptions. She also shares her personal story, from 11 rounds of IVF to complete emotional collapse, which led her to agency, freedom, a new beginning and a baby. Leila also addresses: - How Infertility, as a trauma in its own right can unearth feelings of shame and worthlessness - Why trauma-informed support can ease the emotional toll of infertility medical interventions...

Menopause: From Estrogen Washing to Social Silence, with Dr Aisling Quiery & Rati Roberta Riccardi

The Gifts of Trauma

Hosted by Kevin Young. Produced by J’aime Rothbard. In this conversation, our guests forge a link between childhood trauma and the severity of menopausal symptoms. Aisling, a GP who is herself experiencing perimenopause, notes that the menopausal women who consult her often carry immense stress from being "sandwiched" between their peak career responsibilities and caring for children, grandchildren and aging parents. Together Aisling and Rati contrast: - "Estrogen Washing" a term Aisling coined to suggest that HRT often serves as a "wash" which may offer temporary relief but is...

Menopause: From Multitasking Queen to Second Girlhood, with Dr Priya Duggal and Rosio Fuentes

The Gifts of Trauma

Hosted by Rosemary Davies-Janes. Produced by J’aime Rothbard Join us for this wide ranging conversation between a Menopausal Naturopathic doctor and a Therapist who lives with Ehlers Danlos Syndrome while mothering a neurodivergent family and experiencing Menopause. Together, Rosie and Priya address the many physiological, emotional and practical implications of Menopause "tipping points" for women’s health. They highlight that: - Living an inauthentic life (always "doing" for others) can create physical symptoms, likewise addiction patterns may emerge or intensify if unmet...

Menopause Pruning: Clearing Space for Authenticity, with Inés Zabalaga & Kate Hazlitt, ND

The Gifts of Trauma

Hosted by Rosemary Davies-Janes. Produced by J’aime Rothbard This conversation moves from the medicalization of menopause to reclaiming it as a natural process; an important, transformative life stage marked by growth, development, and renewal, not an illness or pathology. Kate and Inés advocate for shifting from symptom management to trusting the body's innate capacity and involving the entire community in understanding this transition. Inés and Kate highlight:: - Brain Pruning which "chops away" old ways of thinking and being, making way for authenticity, new identity, and a...

Unveiling Indian Cultural Trauma, with Mansi Poddar

The Gifts of Trauma

Hosted by Rosemary Davies-Janes. Produced by J’aime Rothbard. This conversation exposes the impact of cultural trauma on Indian mental and emotional well-being and the conflicts these cultural pressures can cause. After outlining how therapeutic approaches can ease the pain, transform lives and begin to shift cultural norms, expectations and beliefs, Mansi asserts that having dreams, desires, and boundaries is an expression of one's wholeness, not a betrayal of others. Cultural dynamics explored include: - The expectation that women will sacrifice their personal happiness for family...

More Episodes

Hosted by Rosemary Davies-Janes. Produced by J’aime Rothbard.

This heart-felt conversation arcs from the pain of apartness to the healing power of connectedness. Kosha shares her personal journey, which led her from the cognitive and somatic dissonance of enforced separation (apartheid) to the synchronicity of inter-connection.

She also explains how:
- Human love and connection can change systems from the bottom-up
- Witnessing eco-communities’ good intentions and dedication to restoring relationships with nature, social systems, cultures, and economies led her to, “fall in love with our world and humanity”
- Underlying limitations manifesting as unresolved conflicts can block us from reaching our full potential.
- The Pocket Project creates pockets of intimacy—with ourselves, others, and the world.
- Global Social Witnessing moves from "cold data" (mental processing that fosters separation and polarization) to "warm data" (embodied, relational understanding).
- The collaboration of healing movements supports widespread bridge building and waters the seeds of cocreation in the “super juicy" spaces between their different approaches.

In conclusion, Kosha emphasizes the need to address the "sand in our systems;" those subtle, persistent particles of conflict and resistance that hinder collective flourishing. She encourages us to love “our sand” and allow it to settle so that our waters can clear themselves and light can stream in.

About Kosha Joubert, CEO, the Pocket Project

An expert international coach and facilitator, Kosha has worked in systems regeneration, organizational development and intercultural collaboration in 48+ countries. In her current role, she works closely with Pocket Project co-founder, Thomas Hübl, and a global team. Together they are growing a culture of trauma-informed care by focusing on the emergence of collective wisdom, trauma-informed leadership and post-traumatic growth. She co-hosted the “Power of Collective Wisdom Conference” with Thomas in Berlin in 2008, and continues to co-host the annual Collective Trauma Online Summit.

Kosha has also authored several books and received the Dadi Janki Award (2017) for engaging spirituality in life and work, and the One World Award (2020) for building the Global Ecovillage Network to a worldwide movement reaching out to over 6000 communities on all continents.

Kosha holds degrees in Cultural Anthropology, Linguistics and Organisational Development and has studied with Thomas Hübl since 2005. She grew up in South Africa under Apartheid and has been dedicated to healing divides and collective trauma ever since. When she is not traveling, she enjoys living amidst nature's beauty in Findhorn, Scotland.

Promotional Message:
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The Pocket Project Website

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