Libsyn Directory

Intimacy, Healing and "Sand in the System" with Kosha Joubert.

Release Date: 08/28/2025

Paul Noiles on, The Malevolent Nature of Emotional Abuse

The Gifts of Trauma

Hosted by Rosemary Davies-Janes & J’aime Rothbard. Produced by J’aime Rothbard. How do smart, accomplished people end up in emotionally abusive relationships without realizing it? As both a trauma coach and former victim, Paul illuminates how emotional abuse operates through fear, manipulation, and control—and why it's so difficult to recognize and name. He also touches on common signs; chronic invalidation, gaslighting, control disguised as concern, walking on eggshells, confusion, toxic shame, and how our earliest attachments can create susceptibility. In this...

Mandy Rodstrom & Debbie Mason on, Creating Spaces for Stuttering to Exist

The Gifts of Trauma

Mandy Rodstrom & Debbie Mason on, Creating Spaces for Stuttering to Exist Hosted by Rosemary Davies-Janes. Produced by J’aime Rothbard. What if traditional fluency-focused approaches designed to "fix" stuttering cause more harm than healing? In this conversation, speech therapists Mandy Rodstrom and Debbie Mason share personal and clinical insights that reveal how trauma, nervous system dysregulation and social stigma profoundly impact those who stammer. They highlight the critical importance of connecting people who stutter with supportive communities where stuttering is welcomed and...

Cat McCarthy on Emergent Authenticity & Rewriting Scripts

The Gifts of Trauma

Hosted by Kevin Young. Produced by J’aime Rothbard. What happens when we stop performing and start being? Cat guides us through her transformational journey from codependent conditioning to embodied authenticity. With wisdom drawn from 30+ years of yoga practice, plant medicine journeys, and navigating her own healing from Breast Cancer, Cat reveals why the answers we seek aren't outside ourselves, but waiting to be uncovered within. Cat reflects on: - How shedding her protective layers enabled her to access her true strength - Her expanded her capacity to be present, hold space for others...

Zach Bush, MD & Eva Dalak on ⁠Relating to Our Original Imprint: Nature & Collective Healing.

The Gifts of Trauma

Hosted by J’aime Rothbard & Rosemary Davies-Janes. Produced by J’aime Rothbard. What if the path to inner and outer peace—and to the survival of our species—runs through our biology, not just our psychology? In this bonus finale to our Relating Series, Eva and Zach guide us beyond the familiar terrain of human-to-human relating to the new ground of relating to our original imprint. This conversation weaves hard science with systems thinking and spiritual wisdom to show that rather than transcending our humanity, healing our separation wound is about fully embracing our original...

Unsafe! Navigating Domestic, Public and Systemic Violence, with Dr Valerie (Vimalasara) Mason-John and Jordan Decker

The Gifts of Trauma

Hosted by Rosemary Davies-Janes and J’aime Rothbard. Produced by J’aime Rothbard. This vulnerable conversation continues exploring relating through the LGBTQ+ lens, as Vimalasara and Jordan share insights rarely disclosed to the heteronormative population. Jordan reflects on the inner work required to create safety for others—unpacking his own trauma so he can hold space for someone else's. Vimalasara addresses the harsh realities of domestic violence in LGBTQ+ communities, highlighting the barriers to seeking help—being subjected to transphobia, homophobia, or violence in...

Gender & Identity, From Unconscious to Conscious with Valerie (Vimalasara) Mason-John and Jordan Decker

The Gifts of Trauma

Hosted by Rosemary Davies-Janes and J’aime Rothbard. Produced by J’aime Rothbard. This thought provoking conversation explores relating through the LGBTQ+ lens, but not only presented to that community. Instead it is a vulnerable and honest sharing in which Vimalarara and Jordan offer insights and perspectives rarely disclosed to the heteronormative population. In this inclusive episode they touch on the: - Use of pronouns can create a sense of safety and inclusion - Perspective of gender as a social construct rather than a personal identity - Historical impact of religious and...

Reducing Relationship Issues Through Proactive Design & Planning, with Dr Stan Tatkin and Leila Bahri-Lucas

The Gifts of Trauma

Hosted by Rosemary Davies-Janes & Leila Bahri-Lucas. Produced by J’aime Rothbard. This episode reminds us that the unconscious processes that drive humans, our memories and survival instincts, often lead to misunderstandings and reactive behaviors. Consequently, most relationship issues, while they may seem personal, actually stem from our innate drives. Stan outlines that rather than being approached casually, successful relationships require deliberate design, shared purpose, defined roles, and agreed-upon principles. We also explore: - The PPPRRR Approach: Couples can...

Polyamory: Attachment, Trauma & Relational Growth Unpacked, with Jessica Fern, David Cooley & JP Bolhuis

The Gifts of Trauma

Hosted by Rosemary Davies-Janes. Produced by J’aime Rothbard. This episode introduces Polyamory, a form of consensual non-monogamy, as a relational style involving multiple loving, consensual, romantic partners simultaneously. It emphasizes trust, open communication (as opposed to secretive ‘cheating’) and mutual agreement. Jessica and David, themselves polyamory practitioners and co-authors of two books on Polyamory, are joined by JP Bolhuis, a Psychosocial Therapist, Compassionate Inquiry Practitioner and Private Mentor who recently entered the world of polyamory. Jesica and David...

Rethinking Sex Addiction: Trauma, Shame & Compulsive Sexuality, with Diana Safta & Silva Neves

The Gifts of Trauma

Hosted by J’aime Rothbard and Rosemary Davies-Janes. Produced by J’aime Rothbard. In this soft and flowing conversation, Silva Neves differentiates the term "sex addiction" from "sexual compulsivity," as addiction is an independent disorder, while compulsion arises from environmental distress. Like food, sex is a primary drive, and has a natural physiological stopping point not present in other addictions. The analogy of food and diverse cuisines to normalize conversations about sexuality, highlighting that different tastes and preferences in food are accepted, but similar...

Healing Northern Ireland: From Personal Trauma to Societal Change, with Dr Paul Gallagher

The Gifts of Trauma

Hosted by Kevin Young. Produced by J’aime Rothbard. In this conversation, Kevin introduces us to Dr Paul Gallagher, a lecturer in trauma studies at Cork University who started his formal education at age 40, after a significant "gap" in his life. Born in Belfast in 1972 at the height of "The Troubles," Paul recounts growing up in a war zone, where at 21, his home was invaded and his family held hostage. During this attack, he was shot and paralysed, and while physical and medical care were provided, psychological support was not. Paul highlights: - The crucial roles of...

More Episodes

Hosted by Rosemary Davies-Janes. Produced by J’aime Rothbard.

This heart-felt conversation arcs from the pain of apartness to the healing power of connectedness. Kosha shares her personal journey, which led her from the cognitive and somatic dissonance of enforced separation (apartheid) to the synchronicity of inter-connection.

She also explains how:
- Human love and connection can change systems from the bottom-up
- Witnessing eco-communities’ good intentions and dedication to restoring relationships with nature, social systems, cultures, and economies led her to, “fall in love with our world and humanity”
- Underlying limitations manifesting as unresolved conflicts can block us from reaching our full potential.
- The Pocket Project creates pockets of intimacy—with ourselves, others, and the world.
- Global Social Witnessing moves from "cold data" (mental processing that fosters separation and polarization) to "warm data" (embodied, relational understanding).
- The collaboration of healing movements supports widespread bridge building and waters the seeds of cocreation in the “super juicy" spaces between their different approaches.

In conclusion, Kosha emphasizes the need to address the "sand in our systems;" those subtle, persistent particles of conflict and resistance that hinder collective flourishing. She encourages us to love “our sand” and allow it to settle so that our waters can clear themselves and light can stream in.

About Kosha Joubert, CEO, the Pocket Project

An expert international coach and facilitator, Kosha has worked in systems regeneration, organizational development and intercultural collaboration in 48+ countries. In her current role, she works closely with Pocket Project co-founder, Thomas Hübl, and a global team. Together they are growing a culture of trauma-informed care by focusing on the emergence of collective wisdom, trauma-informed leadership and post-traumatic growth. She co-hosted the “Power of Collective Wisdom Conference” with Thomas in Berlin in 2008, and continues to co-host the annual Collective Trauma Online Summit.

Kosha has also authored several books and received the Dadi Janki Award (2017) for engaging spirituality in life and work, and the One World Award (2020) for building the Global Ecovillage Network to a worldwide movement reaching out to over 6000 communities on all continents.

Kosha holds degrees in Cultural Anthropology, Linguistics and Organisational Development and has studied with Thomas Hübl since 2005. She grew up in South Africa under Apartheid and has been dedicated to healing divides and collective trauma ever since. When she is not traveling, she enjoys living amidst nature's beauty in Findhorn, Scotland.

Promotional Message:
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The Pocket Project Website

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