Reducing Relationship Issues Through Proactive Design & Planning, with Dr Stan Tatkin and Leila Bahri-Lucas
The Gifts of Trauma
Hosted by Rosemary Davies-Janes & Leila Bahri-Lucas. Produced by J’aime Rothbard. This episode reminds us that the unconscious processes that drive humans, our memories and survival instincts, often lead to misunderstandings and reactive behaviors. Consequently, most relationship issues, while they may seem personal, actually stem from our innate drives. Stan outlines that rather than being approached casually, successful relationships require deliberate design, shared purpose, defined roles, and agreed-upon principles. We also explore: - The PPPRRR Approach: Couples can...
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Polyamory: Attachment, Trauma & Relational Growth Unpacked, with Jessica Fern, David Cooley & JP Bolhuis
The Gifts of Trauma
Hosted by Rosemary Davies-Janes. Produced by J’aime Rothbard. This episode introduces Polyamory, a form of consensual non-monogamy, as a relational style involving multiple loving, consensual, romantic partners simultaneously. It emphasizes trust, open communication (as opposed to secretive ‘cheating’) and mutual agreement. Jessica and David, themselves polyamory practitioners and co-authors of two books on Polyamory, are joined by JP Bolhuis, a Psychosocial Therapist, Compassionate Inquiry Practitioner and Private Mentor who recently entered the world of polyamory. Jesica and David...
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Rethinking Sex Addiction: Trauma, Shame & Compulsive Sexuality, with Diana Safta & Silva Neves
The Gifts of Trauma
Hosted by J’aime Rothbard and Rosemary Davies-Janes. Produced by J’aime Rothbard. In this soft and flowing conversation, Silva Neves differentiates the term "sex addiction" from "sexual compulsivity," as addiction is an independent disorder, while compulsion arises from environmental distress. Like food, sex is a primary drive, and has a natural physiological stopping point not present in other addictions. The analogy of food and diverse cuisines to normalize conversations about sexuality, highlighting that different tastes and preferences in food are accepted, but similar...
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Healing Northern Ireland: From Personal Trauma to Societal Change, with Dr Paul Gallagher
The Gifts of Trauma
Hosted by Kevin Young. Produced by J’aime Rothbard. In this conversation, Kevin introduces us to Dr Paul Gallagher, a lecturer in trauma studies at Cork University who started his formal education at age 40, after a significant "gap" in his life. Born in Belfast in 1972 at the height of "The Troubles," Paul recounts growing up in a war zone, where at 21, his home was invaded and his family held hostage. During this attack, he was shot and paralysed, and while physical and medical care were provided, psychological support was not. Paul highlights: - The crucial roles of...
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Psychedelics, Hakomi, and the Gift of Self-Discovery, with Tony Hoare
The Gifts of Trauma
Hosted by Kevin Young. Produced by J’aime Rothbard. Tony shares his personal journey, from growing up gay in the 60s, to experiencing sexual trauma and seeking healing in his 50s. He views safety, kindness, and gentleness as essential for healing, as they invite us to lower our shields and ‘just be.’ Having worked in the psychedelic world for 2 decades, Tony stresses that profound psychedelic experiences are only valuable if they lead to a greater sense of ease and conscious awareness with which we can navigate our challenging world. He also recounts: - The development of gentler, more...
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The Trauma of Infertility, with Leila Bahri-Lucas
The Gifts of Trauma
Hosted by Rosemary Davies-Janes. Produced by J’aime Rothbard. In this gentle, heart-felt conversation, Leila guides us through the emotional landscape of infertility debunking common myths and misconceptions. She also shares her personal story, from 11 rounds of IVF to complete emotional collapse, which led her to agency, freedom, a new beginning and a baby. Leila also addresses: - How Infertility, as a trauma in its own right can unearth feelings of shame and worthlessness - Why trauma-informed support can ease the emotional toll of infertility medical interventions...
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Menopause: From Estrogen Washing to Social Silence, with Dr Aisling Quiery & Rati Roberta Riccardi
The Gifts of Trauma
Hosted by Kevin Young. Produced by J’aime Rothbard. In this conversation, our guests forge a link between childhood trauma and the severity of menopausal symptoms. Aisling, a GP who is herself experiencing perimenopause, notes that the menopausal women who consult her often carry immense stress from being "sandwiched" between their peak career responsibilities and caring for children, grandchildren and aging parents. Together Aisling and Rati contrast: - "Estrogen Washing" a term Aisling coined to suggest that HRT often serves as a "wash" which may offer temporary relief but is...
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Menopause: From Multitasking Queen to Second Girlhood, with Dr Priya Duggal and Rosio Fuentes
The Gifts of Trauma
Hosted by Rosemary Davies-Janes. Produced by J’aime Rothbard Join us for this wide ranging conversation between a Menopausal Naturopathic doctor and a Therapist who lives with Ehlers Danlos Syndrome while mothering a neurodivergent family and experiencing Menopause. Together, Rosie and Priya address the many physiological, emotional and practical implications of Menopause "tipping points" for women’s health. They highlight that: - Living an inauthentic life (always "doing" for others) can create physical symptoms, likewise addiction patterns may emerge or intensify if unmet...
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Menopause Pruning: Clearing Space for Authenticity, with Inés Zabalaga & Kate Hazlitt, ND
The Gifts of Trauma
Hosted by Rosemary Davies-Janes. Produced by J’aime Rothbard This conversation moves from the medicalization of menopause to reclaiming it as a natural process; an important, transformative life stage marked by growth, development, and renewal, not an illness or pathology. Kate and Inés advocate for shifting from symptom management to trusting the body's innate capacity and involving the entire community in understanding this transition. Inés and Kate highlight:: - Brain Pruning which "chops away" old ways of thinking and being, making way for authenticity, new identity, and a...
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Unveiling Indian Cultural Trauma, with Mansi Poddar
The Gifts of Trauma
Hosted by Rosemary Davies-Janes. Produced by J’aime Rothbard. This conversation exposes the impact of cultural trauma on Indian mental and emotional well-being and the conflicts these cultural pressures can cause. After outlining how therapeutic approaches can ease the pain, transform lives and begin to shift cultural norms, expectations and beliefs, Mansi asserts that having dreams, desires, and boundaries is an expression of one's wholeness, not a betrayal of others. Cultural dynamics explored include: - The expectation that women will sacrifice their personal happiness for family...
info_outlineHosted by Rosemary Davies-Janes. Produced by J’aime Rothbard.
This conversation delivers rich insights on the importance of clear communication and intentional maintenance in healthy love relationships. Dr Sara also explores the ways personal and inherited trauma can impact intimate relationships, from causing ongoing emotional issues to expanding individuals' resilience and abilities to maintain healthy relationships. In addition to sharing stories from her personal and professional life, Dr Sara explains:
- How the six relational ingredients of her Emergent Love Model interact and evolve over time.
- The specific conditions required for love to flourish, gleaned from studying 312 couples
- The common issues that result when couples communicate without mutual understanding.
- The different couple conflict dynamics that shape children's emotional health
- Why love is a conscious choice, not something one "falls into" or "out of".
Dr Sara offers tools and strategies couples can use proactively to strengthen their relationships and provides practical guidance on how to cultivate loving relationships through awareness, active engagement and understanding rather than passive acceptance.
About Dr. Sara Nasserzadeh
An award-winning social psychologist, global thought leader and relationship expert, Dr Sara’s work bridges personal intimacy, professional excellence and intercultural fluency. She has authored multiple books, book chapters and white papers, including her award-winning 2024 book, Love by Design: 6 Ingredients to Build a Lifetime of Love.
Having worked as a senior advisor to the United Nations (UN), its Population Fund (UNFPA), its Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organization, (UNESCO), and Fortune 500 companies across 41 countries, Dr Sara’s mission is: To create world peace, one relationship at a time.
Dr Sara is also a highly regarded scholar who has served on the boards of The International Society for the Study of Women's Sexual Health (ISSWSH), the World Association for Sexual Health (WAS), the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT), and the California Psychological Association’s Division VII.
Dr Sara created and hosted the BBC World Service’s, The Whispers, a first-of-its-kind program addressing issues related to sexuality and interpersonal relationships in the Middle East. In 2007, it earned the BBC’s Innovation of the Year Award and continues to reach millions of Farsi speaking communities around the world.
Celebrated by peers and clients alike, Dr Sara received: The Clark Vincent Award from the California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists (CAMFT) for advancing the field of marriage and family therapy, The American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists’ (AASECT) Professional Excellence Award, Pfizer’s Innovation of the Year Award, and was a British Council UK Alumni Award for Social Impact finalist. Her work has been featured in global media including NPR, BBC, CNN, ABC, New York Times and USA Today.
Dr Sara lives in Los Angeles and travels extensively for speaking engagements, cultural explorations, media engagements and research.
Promotional Message:
If you’ve been listening to our podcast, you may have heard guests connect their birth experiences with enduring subconscious behavioural and emotional patterns. To help break this cycle, Compassionate Inquiry® offers The Portal, a 28-week trauma-informed training for perinatal health professionals; such as midwives, obstetricians, nurses and doulas, who want to empower their patients to trust their innate ability to birth, bond & nurture their child. Use this link to learn more.
Resources:
Website:
Dr Sara's Professional Website
Related Links:
Articles:
Dr Sara’s monthly newsletter on Substack
The Six Signs Your Relationship Is One That Will Last
How to Make a Marriage Work (Even If It’s With a Gold Digger)
Books:
Love by Design: 6 Ingredients to Build a Lifetime of Love (2024)
Sexuality Education Wheel of Context (2017)
The Orgasm Answer Guide (2009)
Videos:
Is Love the Secret Ingredient at Work?
Balancing Multiple Roles and Maintaining the Desire Towards Our Partner
How Trauma Affects Your Lovelife
TEDx UCIrvine: Why Our Names Are the Gateway to Intimacy
Podcasts:
Love by Design: Why Couples Succeed
Quotes:
“Human beings are members of the whole in creation of one essence, and soul. If one member is
afflicted with pain, other members uneasy will remain. If you have no sympathy for human pain, the
name of human you cannot retain.” - Saadi Shirazi
“...within this book, [Love By Design] one of the things that I wanted to achieve was to really capture
that essence of thriving relationships, from bedroom to boardroom.” - Dr Sara Nasserzadeh
“True love gives your heart a break, not heartbreak.” - Dr Sara Nasserzadeh
“Trauma is not what happens to you, but what happens inside you as a result of what happens to
you.” - Gabor Maté
Social Media:
Instagram: @Dr.Saranasserzadeh
Facebook: @Dr.SaraNasseZadeh
LinkedIn: @Dr.Sara Nasserzadeh