Paul Noiles on, The Malevolent Nature of Emotional Abuse
The Gifts of Trauma
Hosted by Rosemary Davies-Janes & J’aime Rothbard. Produced by J’aime Rothbard. How do smart, accomplished people end up in emotionally abusive relationships without realizing it? As both a trauma coach and former victim, Paul illuminates how emotional abuse operates through fear, manipulation, and control—and why it's so difficult to recognize and name. He also touches on common signs; chronic invalidation, gaslighting, control disguised as concern, walking on eggshells, confusion, toxic shame, and how our earliest attachments can create susceptibility. In this...
info_outline
Mandy Rodstrom & Debbie Mason on, Creating Spaces for Stuttering to Exist
The Gifts of Trauma
Mandy Rodstrom & Debbie Mason on, Creating Spaces for Stuttering to Exist Hosted by Rosemary Davies-Janes. Produced by J’aime Rothbard. What if traditional fluency-focused approaches designed to "fix" stuttering cause more harm than healing? In this conversation, speech therapists Mandy Rodstrom and Debbie Mason share personal and clinical insights that reveal how trauma, nervous system dysregulation and social stigma profoundly impact those who stammer. They highlight the critical importance of connecting people who stutter with supportive communities where stuttering is welcomed and...
info_outline
Cat McCarthy on Emergent Authenticity & Rewriting Scripts
The Gifts of Trauma
Hosted by Kevin Young. Produced by J’aime Rothbard. What happens when we stop performing and start being? Cat guides us through her transformational journey from codependent conditioning to embodied authenticity. With wisdom drawn from 30+ years of yoga practice, plant medicine journeys, and navigating her own healing from Breast Cancer, Cat reveals why the answers we seek aren't outside ourselves, but waiting to be uncovered within. Cat reflects on: - How shedding her protective layers enabled her to access her true strength - Her expanded her capacity to be present, hold space for others...
info_outline
Zach Bush, MD & Eva Dalak on Relating to Our Original Imprint: Nature & Collective Healing.
The Gifts of Trauma
Hosted by J’aime Rothbard & Rosemary Davies-Janes. Produced by J’aime Rothbard. What if the path to inner and outer peace—and to the survival of our species—runs through our biology, not just our psychology? In this bonus finale to our Relating Series, Eva and Zach guide us beyond the familiar terrain of human-to-human relating to the new ground of relating to our original imprint. This conversation weaves hard science with systems thinking and spiritual wisdom to show that rather than transcending our humanity, healing our separation wound is about fully embracing our original...
info_outline
Unsafe! Navigating Domestic, Public and Systemic Violence, with Dr Valerie (Vimalasara) Mason-John and Jordan Decker
The Gifts of Trauma
Hosted by Rosemary Davies-Janes and J’aime Rothbard. Produced by J’aime Rothbard. This vulnerable conversation continues exploring relating through the LGBTQ+ lens, as Vimalasara and Jordan share insights rarely disclosed to the heteronormative population. Jordan reflects on the inner work required to create safety for others—unpacking his own trauma so he can hold space for someone else's. Vimalasara addresses the harsh realities of domestic violence in LGBTQ+ communities, highlighting the barriers to seeking help—being subjected to transphobia, homophobia, or violence in...
info_outline
Gender & Identity, From Unconscious to Conscious with Valerie (Vimalasara) Mason-John and Jordan Decker
The Gifts of Trauma
Hosted by Rosemary Davies-Janes and J’aime Rothbard. Produced by J’aime Rothbard. This thought provoking conversation explores relating through the LGBTQ+ lens, but not only presented to that community. Instead it is a vulnerable and honest sharing in which Vimalarara and Jordan offer insights and perspectives rarely disclosed to the heteronormative population. In this inclusive episode they touch on the: - Use of pronouns can create a sense of safety and inclusion - Perspective of gender as a social construct rather than a personal identity - Historical impact of religious and...
info_outline
Reducing Relationship Issues Through Proactive Design & Planning, with Dr Stan Tatkin and Leila Bahri-Lucas
The Gifts of Trauma
Hosted by Rosemary Davies-Janes & Leila Bahri-Lucas. Produced by J’aime Rothbard. This episode reminds us that the unconscious processes that drive humans, our memories and survival instincts, often lead to misunderstandings and reactive behaviors. Consequently, most relationship issues, while they may seem personal, actually stem from our innate drives. Stan outlines that rather than being approached casually, successful relationships require deliberate design, shared purpose, defined roles, and agreed-upon principles. We also explore: - The PPPRRR Approach: Couples can...
info_outline
Polyamory: Attachment, Trauma & Relational Growth Unpacked, with Jessica Fern, David Cooley & JP Bolhuis
The Gifts of Trauma
Hosted by Rosemary Davies-Janes. Produced by J’aime Rothbard. This episode introduces Polyamory, a form of consensual non-monogamy, as a relational style involving multiple loving, consensual, romantic partners simultaneously. It emphasizes trust, open communication (as opposed to secretive ‘cheating’) and mutual agreement. Jessica and David, themselves polyamory practitioners and co-authors of two books on Polyamory, are joined by JP Bolhuis, a Psychosocial Therapist, Compassionate Inquiry Practitioner and Private Mentor who recently entered the world of polyamory. Jesica and David...
info_outline
Rethinking Sex Addiction: Trauma, Shame & Compulsive Sexuality, with Diana Safta & Silva Neves
The Gifts of Trauma
Hosted by J’aime Rothbard and Rosemary Davies-Janes. Produced by J’aime Rothbard. In this soft and flowing conversation, Silva Neves differentiates the term "sex addiction" from "sexual compulsivity," as addiction is an independent disorder, while compulsion arises from environmental distress. Like food, sex is a primary drive, and has a natural physiological stopping point not present in other addictions. The analogy of food and diverse cuisines to normalize conversations about sexuality, highlighting that different tastes and preferences in food are accepted, but similar...
info_outline
Healing Northern Ireland: From Personal Trauma to Societal Change, with Dr Paul Gallagher
The Gifts of Trauma
Hosted by Kevin Young. Produced by J’aime Rothbard. In this conversation, Kevin introduces us to Dr Paul Gallagher, a lecturer in trauma studies at Cork University who started his formal education at age 40, after a significant "gap" in his life. Born in Belfast in 1972 at the height of "The Troubles," Paul recounts growing up in a war zone, where at 21, his home was invaded and his family held hostage. During this attack, he was shot and paralysed, and while physical and medical care were provided, psychological support was not. Paul highlights: - The crucial roles of...
info_outlineHosted by Rosemary Davies-Janes. Produced by J’aime Rothbard.
This conversation delivers rich insights on the importance of clear communication and intentional maintenance in healthy love relationships. Dr Sara also explores the ways personal and inherited trauma can impact intimate relationships, from causing ongoing emotional issues to expanding individuals' resilience and abilities to maintain healthy relationships. In addition to sharing stories from her personal and professional life, Dr Sara explains:
- How the six relational ingredients of her Emergent Love Model interact and evolve over time.
- The specific conditions required for love to flourish, gleaned from studying 312 couples
- The common issues that result when couples communicate without mutual understanding.
- The different couple conflict dynamics that shape children's emotional health
- Why love is a conscious choice, not something one "falls into" or "out of".
Dr Sara offers tools and strategies couples can use proactively to strengthen their relationships and provides practical guidance on how to cultivate loving relationships through awareness, active engagement and understanding rather than passive acceptance.
About Dr. Sara Nasserzadeh
An award-winning social psychologist, global thought leader and relationship expert, Dr Sara’s work bridges personal intimacy, professional excellence and intercultural fluency. She has authored multiple books, book chapters and white papers, including her award-winning 2024 book, Love by Design: 6 Ingredients to Build a Lifetime of Love.
Having worked as a senior advisor to the United Nations (UN), its Population Fund (UNFPA), its Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organization, (UNESCO), and Fortune 500 companies across 41 countries, Dr Sara’s mission is: To create world peace, one relationship at a time.
Dr Sara is also a highly regarded scholar who has served on the boards of The International Society for the Study of Women's Sexual Health (ISSWSH), the World Association for Sexual Health (WAS), the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT), and the California Psychological Association’s Division VII.
Dr Sara created and hosted the BBC World Service’s, The Whispers, a first-of-its-kind program addressing issues related to sexuality and interpersonal relationships in the Middle East. In 2007, it earned the BBC’s Innovation of the Year Award and continues to reach millions of Farsi speaking communities around the world.
Celebrated by peers and clients alike, Dr Sara received: The Clark Vincent Award from the California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists (CAMFT) for advancing the field of marriage and family therapy, The American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists’ (AASECT) Professional Excellence Award, Pfizer’s Innovation of the Year Award, and was a British Council UK Alumni Award for Social Impact finalist. Her work has been featured in global media including NPR, BBC, CNN, ABC, New York Times and USA Today.
Dr Sara lives in Los Angeles and travels extensively for speaking engagements, cultural explorations, media engagements and research.
Promotional Message:
If you’ve been listening to our podcast, you may have heard guests connect their birth experiences with enduring subconscious behavioural and emotional patterns. To help break this cycle, Compassionate Inquiry® offers The Portal, a 28-week trauma-informed training for perinatal health professionals; such as midwives, obstetricians, nurses and doulas, who want to empower their patients to trust their innate ability to birth, bond & nurture their child. Use this link to learn more.
Resources:
Website:
Dr Sara's Professional Website
Related Links:
Articles:
Dr Sara’s monthly newsletter on Substack
The Six Signs Your Relationship Is One That Will Last
How to Make a Marriage Work (Even If It’s With a Gold Digger)
Books:
Love by Design: 6 Ingredients to Build a Lifetime of Love (2024)
Sexuality Education Wheel of Context (2017)
The Orgasm Answer Guide (2009)
Videos:
Is Love the Secret Ingredient at Work?
Balancing Multiple Roles and Maintaining the Desire Towards Our Partner
How Trauma Affects Your Lovelife
TEDx UCIrvine: Why Our Names Are the Gateway to Intimacy
Podcasts:
Love by Design: Why Couples Succeed
Quotes:
“Human beings are members of the whole in creation of one essence, and soul. If one member is
afflicted with pain, other members uneasy will remain. If you have no sympathy for human pain, the
name of human you cannot retain.” - Saadi Shirazi
“...within this book, [Love By Design] one of the things that I wanted to achieve was to really capture
that essence of thriving relationships, from bedroom to boardroom.” - Dr Sara Nasserzadeh
“True love gives your heart a break, not heartbreak.” - Dr Sara Nasserzadeh
“Trauma is not what happens to you, but what happens inside you as a result of what happens to
you.” - Gabor Maté
Social Media:
Instagram: @Dr.Saranasserzadeh
Facebook: @Dr.SaraNasseZadeh
LinkedIn: @Dr.Sara Nasserzadeh