Psychedelics, Hakomi, and the Gift of Self-Discovery, with Tony Hoare
Release Date: 11/26/2025
Giving What We Didn’t Get: Reimagining Father & Son Relationships, with Luke Sniewski & Warren McCaig
The Gifts of Trauma
Hosted by Kevin Young and J'aime Rothbard. Produced by J'aime Rothbard. The Men in the World series began by asking, “What happened to men?” It concludes by offering some honest perspectives on what becomes possible when men find their way back to themselves. Kevin, Warren and Luke are men who have done the work, are still doing the work, and have built their lives around supporting others to do the same. With J’aime holding space, the three men explore: - The affirmation economy: What happens when a man builds his entire life on other people's approval - Why it’s important...
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This World Was Not Built for Us: Unburdening & Building Brotherhood, with HawaH Kasat & Reggie Hubbard
The Gifts of Trauma
Hosted by Kevin Young & J'aime Rothbard. Produced by J’aime Rothbard. In addition to the personal weight of masculinity that all men carry, brown and black skinned men are burdened by additional collective weights that must be carried while navigating a world not built for them, in bodies that are policed, feared, criminalized and often murdered. In this episode, co-hosts Kevin and J'aime are joined by two remarkable men: HawaH Kasat and Reggie Hubbard. Together they explore the experiences of BIPOC men, and address: - The male loneliness epidemic - The alchemy that can occur...
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It’s Time to Step Up: An Ongoing Invitation, with Tony Coffey & Stephen Brown
The Gifts of Trauma
It’s Time to Step Up: An Ongoing Invitation, with Tony Coffey & Stephen Brown Hosted by Kevin Young. Produced by J’aime Rothbard. In this episode, Kevin is joined by two friends and Compassionate Inquiry® colleagues for a full spectrum conversation that moves from desolation and helplessness, to grief, hope and laughter. They begin in grim terrain shaped by intergenerational trauma, measured by dismal statistics and broadcast through news stories and images of violence that shock us precisely because the perpetrators are so young. Then somehow, their focus shifts to...
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Nothing's Wrong with Boys & Men: An Appreciative Inquiry, with Susan Morgan
The Gifts of Trauma
Hosted by Kevin Young. Produced by J’aime Rothbard Researchers have studied it, governments have funded it, and schools have intervened. But 30 years later, boys are still falling behind in education. Why is this problem so ‘stubborn?’ Why has so little changed? In this episode, Susan talks about her work in the Taking Boys Seriously research project, Appreciative Inquiry, what actually works for boys, why it matters for the men they’ll become, and to society overall. She explains: - The "bricks in the backpack;" a compounded weight that can hold boys back - Why asking ‘what...
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The Boys We Were Never Allowed To Be, with Bret Hunt and Joe Baldock
The Gifts of Trauma
Hosted by Kevin Young. Produced by J’aime Rothbard. Three men walk into a podcast. One tells a knock knock joke, then, somehow, all three end up delving into the disappearance of male genetic diversity, what it feels like to carry traumatized masculinity in the body, and whether compassion—rather than condemnation—might be the only thing that actually changes anything. In this first episode of the new Men in the World series, Kevin sits down with two grounded, conscious, refreshingly honest men; CI practitioners who are doing the work, asking the questions, and refusing to look...
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Griefs We're Denied: Nature, Climate, Land Loss… with Steffi Bednarek
The Gifts of Trauma
Hosted by: Rosemary Davies-Janes & Kevin Young What happens when grief isn't personal, when it belongs to the land, the climate, and the fractured relationship between humans and the living world? Join us as climate psychologist, systems thinker and trauma therapist, Steffi Bednarek moves this conversation from the personal to the planetary, and from the clinical to the deeply, wildly human. She suggests that our epidemic of depression, anxiety, and disconnection may not be a malfunction, but an unanswered call to an unnamed grief so large, Western psychology barely has the language for...
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When Survival Usurps Grief: Showing Up When the World Is on Fire, with James Gordon, MD & Diana Gharib
The Gifts of Trauma
Hosted by Kevin Young. Produced by J’aime Rothbard. In this episode, Kevin is joined by James Gordon, MD, founder of the Center for Mind Body Medicine, whose teams have worked in Gaza, Kosovo, Syria, Bosnia, Northern Ireland and beyond, and Diana Garib, a clinical psychologist on the front-line in Beirut, recording live as conflict surrounds her. Together they explore: - What it looks like to show up for others when your own world is on fire - How humanizing the other can become the first act of healing - Why finding common ground—from shared grief to shared hummus—may be where peace...
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When Grief Is Stolen: Invasion, Colonization & Griefology, with Rosemary Wanganeen
The Gifts of Trauma
Hosted by Rosemary Davies-Janes & Kevin Young. Produced by J'aime Rothbard. If grief is the energy generated by loss, what happens to a people whose grief has been stolen for generations, and what becomes possible when we grieve our way home? In this episode, Rosemary Wanganeen, a Kaurna, Wirungu, and Koogatha Aboriginal woman and Australia's only griefologist, presents one of the most provocative perspectives explored in this series. She traces the suppression of grief and the ensuing psychopathic violence of Australia’s colonizers/invaders to a declaration by Plato in 388 BC—the...
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When Grief Doesn't Get a Funeral, with Dr Kenneth Doka, Maria de los Angeles Estrada & Ellie Davis
The Gifts of Trauma
Hosted by Rosemary Davies-Janes. Produced by J'aime Rothbard. If you’ve ever grieved an unrecognized loss, please join us to explore Disenfranchised Grief, the term Dr Doka coined over 35 years ago to describe the grief that rises when a loss isn't openly recognized, publicly mourned, or socially supported, and why so many of us—unkowingly—carry this form of grief. Drawing on his 50 years in the field, Dr Doka, along with Maria and Ellie who share their lived experiences of disenfranchised grief, unpack: - How grief (the energy generated by a significant loss) can show up...
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What We Don't Know About Grief, with Pam Sommer & Manisha Billimoria
The Gifts of Trauma
Hosted by Rosemary Davies-Janes. Produced by J’aime Rothbard. This gentle conversation launches a new series exploring death, loss and grief—experiences we all face yet are rarely taught to navigate. Our guests debunk grief ‘myths’, as it doesn't follow “5 Stages,” we can't “pre-grieve” and being told to "be brave" can trap grief in our body for decades. They also offer practical suggestions for supporting those who are grieving, and explain: - How grief can manifest in physical, emotional and mental issues - Why talking about the deceased is essential for the living -...
info_outlineHosted by Kevin Young. Produced by J’aime Rothbard.
Tony shares his personal journey, from growing up gay in the 60s, to experiencing sexual trauma and seeking healing in his 50s. He views safety, kindness, and gentleness as essential for healing, as they invite us to lower our shields and ‘just be.’ Having worked in the psychedelic world for 2 decades, Tony stresses that profound psychedelic experiences are only valuable if they lead to a greater sense of ease and conscious awareness with which we can navigate our challenging world.
He also recounts:
- The development of gentler, more supportive psychedelic assistance approaches
- How ketamine can deliver an eternal quality of love, akin to AH Almaas's concept
- The pure self-observation available through 5-MeO-DMT
- The alignment between Hakomi and Compassionate Inquiry
Tony also mentions his photography of Iboga ceremonies in West Africa and an upcoming project with an Ibogaine treatment center. Moving forward, he plans to reduce the intensity of his medicine work, pursue photography projects (including documenting coming-of-age rituals), and train psychedelic therapists in integrating Hakomi principles.
About Tony Hoare
A founding Compassionate Inquiry® Facilitator, Practitioner and Relational Somatic Therapist, Tony has worked with individuals in the context of psychedelic-assisted therapy in Ayahuasca ceremonies since 2005. He also held supportive roles in 15 of Gabor Maté’s 9-day plant medicine retreats, from 2009 to 2017, helping participants prepare for and integrate their experiences.
Having observed Gabor Maté practicing Compassionate Inquiry for hundreds of hours, Tony also works with people seeking one-on-one emotional processing and healing. He uses Compassionate Inquiry® to help his clients understand and process their emotions, discover the origins of their pain, develop forgiveness and self-acceptance.
Tony describes himself as: “In love with wild places - thrives on new experiences - forever curious about people and what makes them tick - never happier than on an adventure with a camera - connects just as easily with the janitor or the ceo - lives simply - delivers the goods.”
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If you've been listening to our podcast and are curious about the Compassionate Inquiry® approach developed by Doctor Gabor Maté and Sat Dharam Kaur, consider joining the Professional Training Program. It's open to all healing professionals, including naturopaths, physicians, body workers, coaches, and therapists. In addition to learning how to use compassion to support your clients in their most vulnerable moments with greater empathy and authenticity, you'll also deepen your own internal process. If you're interested, tap this link to access more information..
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Websites:
Tony’s Compassionate Inquiry Profile
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Books:
Love Unveiled: Discovering the Essence of the Awakened Heart
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Quotes:
“The greatest thing that I can do for you is work on me. And the greatest thing that you can do for me is work on you.” - Ram Dass
"Be kind to yourself. You don't have to work at this. There's nothing to do. Be gentle." - Tony Hoare
“You would be wise in your own life to recognize the times that needed to be clothed in ritual.” - John O’Donoghue
“Your conflicts, all the difficult things, the problematic situations in your life are not chance or haphazard. They are actually yours. They are specifically yours, designed specifically for you by a part of you that loves you more than anything else. The part of you that loves you more than anything else has created roadblocks to lead you to yourself. You are not going in the right direction unless there is something pricking you in the side, telling you, “Look here! This way!” That part of you loves you so much that it doesn’t want you to lose the chance. It will go to extreme measures to wake you up, it will make you suffer greatly if you don’t listen. What else can it do? That is its purpose.” - AH Almaas
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