Episode 91: The Important Reminder of Showing up for Others, Just as You’d like them to Show up for You

Sonia’s untold story revolves around her breast cancer diagnosis starting in 2017. She experienced physical and emotional trauma combined with heightened feelings. She had to work hard to overcome overwhelming thoughts and emotional pain when dealing with relationships during her cancer journey. This experience has been eye-opening, particularly in learning who she can rely on as her backbone and who she felt she still needed to support while under-going her own duress. Outwardly, Sonia was perceived to be a strong individual even during her time of challenge, she repeatedly heard the comment, “you got this”, from those around her. She echoed the sentiment herself and kept busy with projects, with the aim to distract her mind. However, internally, her reality was starkly different. Sonia harboured intense fear and anxiety, and kept these and other tough emotions to herself, she didn’t want to bother anyone with her internal experience. The internal struggle took a toll on Sonia. The constant stress she suffered with on the inside, manifested physically on the outside as brain fog, physical exhaustion and felt she needed to keep it together as much as possible. Sonia shared that only few people really showed up for her to support her the way she needed to be, sharing that she felt ignored by many and felt like she didn’t matter. There were some instances she described, where people couldn’t hear her talk about her cancer experience, and these same individuals were not there for her during her time of difficulty. This further affected Sonia as she chose to isolate more to protect herself emotionally, and truly felt that she and her journey of what she underwent medically was not a big deal, resulting in minimizing her true experience. Her key message to the listeners is that: it’s okay not to feel okay, learn this; stop pretending and stop spending time in this energy zapping space; go through your feels; be kind to yourself; do the best you can and remind yourself of this regularly; have gratitude for yourself; process the pain and don’t store it in different places in your body; slow down and process what you are experiencing.