Episode 97: The Identity Crisis Beyond Colour of a Queer South Asian Man Who Learned to Set Himself Free

As a child Farhan was always told that he would be a failure and that he didn’t have potential. He
faced resistance from family; however, he forged a pathway forward to becoming the helping
professional he is today. His story includes himself, his family and society at large. Being a first-
generation South Asian queer male, growing up in Canada, he realizes that his family was doing
the best that they could, though they had specific expectations that resisted the pathway. Farhan described how he consistently felt he must work harder than most, he had to find constructive ways to put aside any idea of imposter syndrome, and even went through a colour identity crisis. There were many beliefs systems Farhan had to combat, the many negative messages he received that impacted his self-perception began at age 7, and even so, he chose the path unchosen. Desire for acting was a disapproval from his family, acting on television and getting in the media was a journey of its own, first, difficult to get parts being a male of colour, and then when colour was accepted, he wasn’t the right colour. The narrative of not being good enough is something Farhan internalized deep within, leaving him to struggle with deep sense of belonging. Farhan experienced intense feelings of isolation and loneliness. He further highlighted how it all would surface, such as showing up with what he chose to share about his work and progress at family gatherings, he felt his energy got smaller, he knew he wouldn’t get celebrated by the people in his life even when he was accomplishing and having wins of his own, so anything he attempted to share with people in his world would get dismissed or ridiculed. It took time to realize that external validation was not where to focus his energy and desire. His key message to the listeners is that: it’s important to be true to yourself, fundamentally learn that you are betraying yourself when you are not true to yourself; reflect on what’s more important, yourself or others, as there will always be others who will be disapproving; choose yourself, don’t deny yourself; your path is all about making choices that don’t betray yourself.

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Passionate about: The YMCA

Guest shoutout: YMCA North York

Guest Links:
Instagram - instagram.com/farhandhalla/
Website – Farhandhalla.com
Instagram - Instagram.com/farhanpodcast_elevateyourlife/
Podcast - www.farhandhalla.com/podcast
Twitter - twitter.com/farhandhalla
Facebook - www.facebook.com/farhandhalla
Linkedin - www.linkedin.com/in/farhan-dhalla-a477283/