487-He Died to Himself and She Decided Intimacy Needed to Change: Rebekah's Story

He Died to Himself and She Decided Intimacy Needed to Change: Rebekah's Story

Rebekah didn’t sign up for marriage coaching.

She wasn’t looking for help. In fact, when her husband first discovered us, she politely declined any involvement. He had found the podcast and was quietly listening, learning, and applying. She wasn’t ready.

But he didn’t push.
He didn’t demand.
He just loved her.

And that—his sacrificial, consistent, Christlike love—is what eventually opened her heart.

When the Husband Leads and Goes First

“He died to himself,” Rebekah said, describing her husband Noah’s transformation. “He was willing to love me even if I didn’t love him back.”

It didn’t happen overnight. Noah committed to the Men’s Program during Rebekah’s pregnancy, often implementing everything he learned from recordings because he was unable to attend the live Group Coaching Calls due to work.

He walked out the truth. And over time, Rebekah noticed.

“I felt deeply that he was doing that for me,” she shared. “And that softened my heart.”

 

Being Intimidated by Intimacy

Rebekah’s journey around intimacy was painful.
It was often physically painful.
She didn’t enjoy it.
She felt shy around it and blushed when the topic came up.
She felt disconnected—from herself, from her husband, even from her own body.

She also knew what was at stake.

“Intimacy was already hard… but with kids, it could disappear completely,” she said. “I didn’t want that. For me. Or for our son.”

She began to see how her challenges weren’t just affecting her—it was impacting her family. And when she realized how her own view of her body and sexuality could shape her child’s experience, she knew something needed to change.

God Opened the Door for A Change of Heart in Intimacy

“I had already been recommending DYM to others,” she laughed. “But I hadn’t done it myself. And I realized… maybe this was my turn.”

What she discovered wasn’t just practical help. It was healing.

 

Learning to Feel Safe

One of Rebekah’s breakthroughs came in understanding safety—not just physically, but emotionally and spiritually.

Through the program, she learned how to identify when her body was in fight-or-flight mode—and how to speak truth over herself: “My husband loves me. I’m safe. This is how he expresses love.”

By renewing her mind with Scripture and applying our tools, she started to relax, receive, and even enjoy intimacy!

And the community of women around her helped normalize what once felt foreign.

Learning Healthy Boundaries—and Becoming a Daughter

One coaching call stood out above the rest. The topic was boundaries—not as walls, but as the way we act like we truly are children of God.

“I realized I wasn’t treating myself like I was God’s daughter,” Rebekah said, her voice trembling with tears. “And I needed to stop crossing boundaries in my own mind.”

That moment launched a new season in her life—one where she no longer withheld emotionally, physically, or spiritually. Instead, she began living like someone deeply loved and worth loving.

 

Becoming More Confident in Intimacy, Growing in Emotional Maturity, and More

Here’s what she now walks in:

• Confidence in intimacy with her husband

• Emotional maturity and responsibility

• Joy rooted in Christ not circumstances

• A transformed mindset aligned with truth

• A deeper value for marriage than ever before

She even said, “Going into this, I didn’t value marriage like I do now. But I believe God can save any marriage. He did it for mine.”

 

Final Thoughts for If You Feel It's All Too Much...

We know what it's like to feel like your marriage is hopeless. Like intimacy will never change. It will remain painful. It will remain disconnected. It will remain joyless.

We also know how it feels to be unsure of a program like this. "Will it really work for me?" "Are the testimonies actually true?" "I see it worked for them, but my marriage is different. We are too far gone."

Let us encourage you today:
Your marriage is not too far gone. Yes, these testimonies, Rebekah's included, are true. And, by the grace of God, it does work and change marriages.

Your intimacy does not have to remain joyless and painful and disconnected. It can be joyful, enjoyable, and connected.

Let's end with a prayer:
Heavenly Father, you know this one. You know who needed to hear this message and who needed to read these words. Father, would you bless them in their marriage. Would you bring them the healing they've been longing for. Would you give them divine patience, mercy, and grace for their spouses and divine ideas on how to love them well. Would you give them the inspiration and encouragement they need and remind them how deeply loved they are by you. In your holy name, we pray, Amen.

 

With love,

 

The Delight Your Marriage Team

 

PS - If you want to know more about the Women's Program that Rebekah mentioned, that helped her go from dreading intimacy to looking forward to it with excitement, we have a free Masterclass available for you. Consider it a free sample! :) Check out Women's Masterclass: Intimacy Confidence to register.

 

PPS - Here is a quote from (another) recent graduate:

"Not being able to connect or communicate well. Very little vulnerability on both sides. Perfectionism. I felt like the kids and I could never be good enough. I could not share my heart or thoughts on something without being judged so I didn’t. Being cherished was something I tried not to think about because it felt too impossible... [Now,] I’m more confident, playful, happily and intentionally imperfect... I’ve learned to rejoice in the Lord always! I can’t believe how much has changed in our marriage just by imitation! Because I have modeled imperfection, playfulness, and being easily pleased, the tension and critiquing in our marriage and home has gone way down. We are having so much more fun!"