483-The Truth About Female Desire: Interview with Dr. Juli Slattery
Release Date: 05/16/2025
489-Harshness to Beautiful Kindness: Marriage Encouragement with Rhonda Stoppe
Delight Your Marriage
Marriage is one of the greatest blessings — and one of the greatest refining processes — we can experience. But if we're honest, many of us carry regrets when it comes to how we've treated our spouse, how we've handled conflict, or the words we've spoken in frustration. We don't always recognize how often harshness sneaks into our marriage, chipping away at intimacy, connection, and joy. But here's the good news: God's love can heal, restore, and transform even the most regret-filled moments in your relationship. In a recent conversation with author and speaker Rhonda Stoppe, we unpacked...
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488-Wives, Pleasure Is An Important Part of Life (Really!)
Delight Your Marriage
Wives, Pleasure Is An Important Part of Life (Really!) If you're a wife who feels like physical intimacy just isn’t for you... this post is for you. Maybe you’ve been hurt in the past. Maybe sex feels awkward, or painful, or even meaningless. Maybe it seems like something only he wants, and you just go along with it. If any of that resonates, I want you to know: you're not broken. You're not alone. And there is hope. When Sex Feels Disappointing or Painful in Marriage When I first got married, I was so excited. I had saved myself for marriage and imagined physical intimacy would be...
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487-He Died to Himself and She Decided Intimacy Needed to Change: Rebekah's Story
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He Died to Himself and She Decided Intimacy Needed to Change: Rebekah's Story Rebekah didn’t sign up for marriage coaching. She wasn’t looking for help. In fact, when her husband first discovered us, she politely declined any involvement. He had found the podcast and was quietly listening, learning, and applying. She wasn’t ready. But he didn’t push. He didn’t demand. He just loved her. And that—his sacrificial, consistent, Christlike love—is what eventually opened her heart. When the Husband Leads and Goes First “He died to himself,” Rebekah said, describing her husband...
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486-How a Strong Identity Defeats Shame: Interview With Pastor Drew Hyun
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How a Strong Identity Defeats Shame: Interview With Pastor Drew Hyun Maybe you're a leader in your church, a high achiever at work, or a dedicated family man—but deep inside, you feel the sting of shame. Maybe it's from mistakes in your past, struggles in your present, or simply the pressure of not living up to what you think you should be. Here’s the good news: you don’t have to carry it anymore. Pastor Drew Hyun—lead pastor of Hope Church NYC and executive director of Emotionally Healthy Discipleship—shares how God’s love offers a radical solution. Not just theologically, but...
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485-Strength from Suffering
Delight Your Marriage
Strength from Suffering Let me start with this: the enemy wants you to believe that when hard things happen, you're done for. You’re weaker. You’re broken. That you can’t be used by God anymore. But that’s a lie. The truth is—God uses the hard things. He doesn’t waste our pain. In fact, Scripture tells us over and over again that it’s through trials that our faith, character, and hope are built. The God Who Sees You and Knows You Psalm 139 is one of my favorite passages because it’s such a clear reminder: God knows everything about you. He knows your name. He knows what...
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484-Love Jesus More Than Your Pain: Jennifer's Story
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Sometimes, God answers your prayers in a way you don’t expect. That’s how Jennifer’s journey began. She and her husband had been married for 30 years, with three beautiful daughters. On the outside, everything seemed steady—but inside, Jennifer was silently struggling. Depression, anxiety, deep wounds from trauma, and the weight of parenting adult children had left her feeling exhausted and emotionally distant from her husband. She was in a dark place. But God. Her husband was the first to find Delight Your Marriage. Quietly, he joined our men's program. At first, he didn’t even tell...
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483-The Truth About Female Desire: Interview with Dr. Juli Slattery
Delight Your Marriage
If you’re a wife who loves God and loves your husband, but you’re wondering… Why don’t I want sex? Why does my husband want it more than I do? Am I broken for not desiring intimacy? …you’re in the right place. We want to remind you that you are not broken. You’re not alone. And God isn’t disappointed in you. In this conversation, we sit down with the incredible Dr. Juli Slattery—clinical psychologist, author of 14 books, and founder of —to talk about real struggles Christian wives face around intimacy, low desire, and how to walk toward healing with God’s help....
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483-The Truth About Female Desire: Interview with Dr. Juli Slattery
Delight Your Marriage
If you’re a wife who loves God and loves your husband, but you’re wondering… Why don’t I want sex? Why does my husband want it more than I do? Am I broken for not desiring intimacy? …you’re in the right place. We want to remind you that you are not broken. You’re not alone. And God isn’t disappointed in you. In this conversation, we sit down with the incredible Dr. Juli Slattery—clinical psychologist, author of 14 books, and founder of —to talk about real struggles Christian wives face around intimacy, low desire, and how to walk toward healing with God’s help....
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482-Loving Your Spouse Well When You Feel Down
Delight Your Marriage
Loving Well When You Feel Down Even the strongest marriages go through hard seasons. Whether you're facing emotional burnout, stress, or feeling spiritually distant, it's easy to feel like you have nothing left to give in your relationship. So how do you love your spouse when you feel depleted? This post is your quick “reset”—a reminder of what really matters in marriage and how to keep moving forward, even when your heart feels heavy. Why Your Marriage Matters in God’s Eyes Jesus gave us two commandments that anchor everything else: Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul,...
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481-Church Scandals Aren’t Random: How Ignorance Paves the Way for More Harm
Delight Your Marriage
Church Scandals Aren’t Random: How Ignorance Paves the Way for More Harm A Funny, Painful Story (That’s Actually Very Relevant) Before we dive into heavy stuff, let me tell you a story. 4 weeks and 2 days ago... Picture this: I’m flat on my back, in the middle of the street, 20 feet away from a car that thankfully didn’t roll over me. I’m convinced something’s stabbing into my heart. Pain is shooting through my body in so many places. A kind lady rushes from her porch to help me hobble to safety while the ambulance is called. As I wait there's constant pain, but when I move in...
info_outlineIf you’re a wife who loves God and loves your husband, but you’re wondering…
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Why don’t I want sex?
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Why does my husband want it more than I do?
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Am I broken for not desiring intimacy?
…you’re in the right place.
We want to remind you that you are not broken. You’re not alone. And God isn’t disappointed in you.
In this conversation, we sit down with the incredible Dr. Juli Slattery—clinical psychologist, author of 14 books, and founder of Authentic Intimacy—to talk about real struggles Christian wives face around intimacy, low desire, and how to walk toward healing with God’s help.
What Causes Low Sex Drive in Christian Wives?
This is one of the most common issues I hear from women: “My husband wants it more. I feel bad. I don’t know why I don’t want it. Help.”
Dr. Slattery shares that many wives don’t have a lower drive—just a different kind. Men typically have what’s called an initiating drive, while women often have a responsive drive. That means she doesn’t feel desire until after closeness begins. That’s normal!
But sometimes, low desire is more complex. Some deeper causes may include:
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Past sexual trauma (even from within marriage)
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Body image issues and insecurity
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Pain during sex or hormonal changes (like menopause)
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A lack of emotional safety or unresolved conflict
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Shame from upbringing or purity culture
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Misunderstandings about what sex is really for
Often, it’s not one thing—it’s several.
That’s why this isn’t a quick fix. It’s a journey of healing and understanding. And most importantly—it’s not your fault.
What Does God Say About Sex in Marriage?
We often assume a great sex life just means “compatibility.” But as Juli beautifully shared: “Great sex isn’t about compatibility. It’s about growing in unselfish love.”
And that’s biblical.
God designed marriage and sexual intimacy to reflect His covenant love: faithful, intimate, sacrificial, and joy-filled. When we chase after that picture—His heart for sex—it brings healing, safety, and even delight.
Here are the 4 pillars of covenant sex that Juli teaches:
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Faithfulness – Can your spouse trust you emotionally and physically?
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Intimate Fellowship – Are you open with each other in heart and spirit?
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Sacrificial Love – Are you serving each other instead of demanding?
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Passionate Celebration – Is sex a space for joy and rejoicing?
“I Want to Want Sex… But I Don’t.” What Should I Do?
If that’s your heart cry, there’s hope. Juli and I walked through several gentle, practical steps to help you move forward:
1. Pray—Every Day
Invite God into this part of your life. Juli prayed for months before even telling her husband. God cares. He will meet you here.
2. Start with What You Do Want
Maybe you don’t want intercourse—but you’d like to cuddle. Or feel safe naked. Or be able to enjoy touch again. That’s a great start.
3. Change the Inner Narrative
Rather than thinking, “I have to,” begin gently rehearsing, “I want to enjoy closeness. I want to connect with the man I love.”
4. Use Physical Support
Tools like organic lubricants, non-intercourse intimacy, or vibrators (with agreement) can be helpful. Give yourself permission to explore.
5. Communicate with Your Husband
If he’s safe, loving, and kind—invite him into this healing journey with you. Let him support your heart, not just seek pleasure.
But Isn’t It Selfish to Focus So Much on Sex?
That’s a valid concern—especially for Christians. But here’s what Juli shared that really struck me: “God designed sex to bless both husband and wife. This isn’t just about serving him—it’s about your healing, too.”
Sex is not just physical. It’s emotional. Spiritual. It touches the most tender parts of our story.
If you’re avoiding it completely, it might be time to gently ask: What wounds need healing? What lies am I believing?
This is not about becoming a sex expert—it’s about becoming whole.
A Christian Wife’s Invitation to Intimacy
Whether you’ve been married 3 years or 30, God’s not done with this part of your journey.
Even if sex has been painful, shame-filled, or complicated… He can redeem it.
Even if you feel distant, numb, or uninterested… He can awaken new joy.
You’re not “less than.” You’re not “too late.” You’re not “too much.”
You’re beloved.
And intimacy can become a gift again.
Resources to Help You Begin
If today’s blog stirred something in you, we'd like to encourage you to take one step forward. God meets us there.
Listen in: Full Episode with Juli Slattery available here and on your favorite podcast streaming service
Explore: Juli’s Ministry – Authentic Intimacy
New Book (July 1): Surrendered Sexuality: How Knowing Jesus Changes Everything
For more information on our Coaching Programs: DelightYourMarriage.com
Final Thoughts
You're not alone.
God is in this with you.
Let Him lead. And let Him love you in this part of your story.
With love,
The DYM Team
PS - If you haven't checked out Dr. Juli's book yet, you can check it out here: God, Sex & Your Marriage
PPS - For more information on our Coaching Programs, please visit our website. We would love to connect with you!