loader from loading.io

357 Sabotaging Your Conversations?

The Cutting Edge Japan Business Show By Dale Carnegie Training Tokyo Japan

Release Date: 06/29/2025

357 Sabotaging Your Conversations? show art 357 Sabotaging Your Conversations?

The Cutting Edge Japan Business Show By Dale Carnegie Training Tokyo Japan

 We are often good talkers, but poor listeners. We have many things we want to say, share, expound and elaborate on. For this we need someone to be talking it all in. We like it when people do that for us. It soothes our ego, heightens our sense of self-worth and importance. We are sometimes not so generous ourselves though when listening to others. Here are six nightmare listeners you might run into. By the way, do any of these stereotypes sound a bit too familiar to you? The “preoccupieds” are those breathless types, racing around, multi-tasking on steroids, permanently distracted....

info_outline
356 How To Win Business With Japanese Buying Teams show art 356 How To Win Business With Japanese Buying Teams

The Cutting Edge Japan Business Show By Dale Carnegie Training Tokyo Japan

Selling to companies in Japan usually means sitting in a meeting room with a single buyer or perhaps two people.  There are occasions though where we may need to present to a larger number of buyers in a more formal setting.  It may be a pitch to secure the business, or it may be a means of getting the buying team more easily coordinated on their side. Before we know how to present to a team, we have to analyse the people in the team.  That means we need to know ahead of time, who will be in the room from their side.  A team comprises multiple layers of...

info_outline
355 How To Make Your Employees Actually Like You show art 355 How To Make Your Employees Actually Like You

The Cutting Edge Japan Business Show By Dale Carnegie Training Tokyo Japan

We often hear about the need for bosses to do more to engage with their teams. The boss looks at their schedule and then just checks out of that idea right then and there because it seems impossible. The employees for their part, want to get more praise and recognition from the boss, to feel valuable and valued. Bosses are often Driver type personalities who are extremely outcome and task orientated. People are there to produce, to get the numbers, to complete projects and to do it with a minimum of boss maintenance needed to be invested. The snag in all of this though is employees don’t...

info_outline
354 Presenting Elicits Valuable Lessons. Capture Them. show art 354 Presenting Elicits Valuable Lessons. Capture Them.

The Cutting Edge Japan Business Show By Dale Carnegie Training Tokyo Japan

 Today is a good time to start reviewing and reflecting upon the presentations you have over the past few years.  What have you learnt not to do and what have you learnt to keep doing?  Those who don’t study their own presentations history are bound to repeat the errors of the past.  Sounds reasonable doesn’t it. We are all mentally geared up for improvements over time.  The only issue is that these improvements are not ordained and we have to create our own futures. Do you have a good record keeping system?  When I got back to Japan in 1992 I was the...

info_outline
353  Build Relationships That Last: Get Your Re-Order Mojo Happening show art 353  Build Relationships That Last: Get Your Re-Order Mojo Happening

The Cutting Edge Japan Business Show By Dale Carnegie Training Tokyo Japan

Here is an important mantra: We don’t want a sale, we want the re-orders. That task however is getting harder and harder.  Customers today are more educated, better prepared and have more alternatives than ever before.  Satisfying a customer is not enough – we have to exceed their expectations and provide exceptional customer service.  Customer service has only one truth – how the customer perceives the quality of the service. Forget what we think is good customer service.  We have to be really clear about what is the customer’s perception of good customer...

info_outline
352 Let’s Build Our Personal Brand As A Presenter show art 352 Let’s Build Our Personal Brand As A Presenter

The Cutting Edge Japan Business Show By Dale Carnegie Training Tokyo Japan

The New Year’s resolutions concept is ridiculous, but only because we are weak, lazy, inconsistent and lacking in discipline.  Apart from those small barriers to execution of desires, the concept works a treat.  The idea of a new start is not bad in itself and we can use the Gregorian calendar fantasy, to mark a change in the year where new things are possible.  We learn as we go along and we add experience from year to year to hopefully make life easier. So as a presenter what would be possible? There are around 4.4 million podcasts around the world.  Blogs are in the...

info_outline
351 My Boss Isn't Listening show art 351 My Boss Isn't Listening

The Cutting Edge Japan Business Show By Dale Carnegie Training Tokyo Japan

351 My Boss Isn't Listening f you reading this title and thinking “this has nothing to do with my leadership”, you might want to think again. We hear this comment a lot from the participants in our training. They complain that the boss doesn’t talk to them enough because they are too busy, don’t have much interest in their ideas or do not seek their suggestions. In this modern life, none of these issues from staff should be surprising. There have been two major tectonic plate shifts in organisations over the last twenty years. One has been the compression of many organisational layers...

info_outline
350 The Rule Of Three show art 350 The Rule Of Three

The Cutting Edge Japan Business Show By Dale Carnegie Training Tokyo Japan

350 The Rule Of Three   Our financial year ended in August and we were up over 20% on the previous year’s revenue results. I should have been ebullient, chipper, sanguine, fired up for the new year, but I wasn’t.  Was it because we were back to zero again, as we all faced the prospect of the new financial year?  That sinking feeling of , “last year was hard and here we go again, but this time with an even higher target”.  Maybe that was it, but it was hard to tell.  There were three other things which were gnawing away at me, regarding incidents which...

info_outline
349 Success Speaking Formula show art 349 Success Speaking Formula

The Cutting Edge Japan Business Show By Dale Carnegie Training Tokyo Japan

 I was invited to an English Speech contest for Middle School students.  The students must have home grown skills and are not eligible to compete if they have spent more than six months abroad, in an English speaking environment.  This was pretty grand affair.  The organisation running it is run by students at university, who took part in the contest themselves when they were in Middle School.  Many of the graduates become business patrons and supporters as they work their way up in their business careers.  It a perfect Japanese storm.  Japan loves uniforms...

info_outline
348 Open The Kimono Leaders show art 348 Open The Kimono Leaders

The Cutting Edge Japan Business Show By Dale Carnegie Training Tokyo Japan

The supervisor has super vision. The leader knows more. The captain makes the calls. The best and the brightest know best. The cream rises to the top. We accept that there will be leaders either our “superiors” or “the first among equals”. We put leaders up on a pedestal, we expect more from them than we expect from ourselves. We judge them, appraise them, measure them, discuss them. When you become a leader what do you find? There are rival aspirant leaders aplenty waiting in the wings to take over. They have the elbows out to shove the current leader aside and replace them....

info_outline
 
More Episodes

 We are often good talkers, but poor listeners. We have many things we want to say, share, expound and elaborate on. For this we need someone to be talking it all in. We like it when people do that for us. It soothes our ego, heightens our sense of self-worth and importance. We are sometimes not so generous ourselves though when listening to others. Here are six nightmare listeners you might run into. By the way, do any of these stereotypes sound a bit too familiar to you?

The “preoccupieds” are those breathless types, racing around, multi-tasking on steroids, permanently distracted. They don’t make much eye contact because their eyes are constantly scanning for things other than you in front of them. When we meet this reaction we need to grab their brain. We can say, “Is this a good time to talk?” or “I need your undivided attention for just a moment”. Once we do get their attention, we have to get to the point, because their attention span is fleeting.

The “out-to-lunchers” have the lights on (their eyes are open) but no one is at home. They are thinking about everything else but what you are saying to them. It is a good practice to check in with them to make sure they have absorbed the key points you are sharing. You can ask them a very pointed question about one element to determine if they actually heard you. Closed questions are good because an answer has to be yes or no, they can’t fudge it or fake it easily.

The “interrupters” are ending your sentences for you, jumping in all over you while you are speaking, they are fixated with their important contribution and not much interested in yours. You cannot stop them, so don’t resist. Let them blurt out whatever it is they cannot contain and then interject, “Thanks for that. As I was saying…” And pick up where you were, as if they had not spoken at all.

The “whatevers” are giving off that jaded, bored impression that what you are saying is of little interest or consequence. To grab their attention you have to lift your energy and spice up the content, make it more dramatic. Also, ask them specific questions that will draw them into the topic. Use open questions where they have to use actual sentences rather than monosyllabic responses.

 The “combatives” are people with a strong sense of their rights and they are very interested in demanding they be heard and defending those rights. They are quick to call out perceived affronts to their dignity and will readily argue every point. Look for points of agreement and concentrate talking about those or ask to agree to disagree.

The “analysts” are logical thinking, very detailed orientated and are always in fix-it mode. They love handing out advice regardless of whether it was requested or not. You can go around idea generation from them by saying “I just need to bring you up to speed, so you know what is happening. I’m not looking for advice”

By contrast what would a good listener look like? The “engagers” are empathetic listeners who really concentrate on what you are saying. They employ eyes, ears, hearts and minds to absorb your messages. They understand that they already know what they know and can learn a lot more from finding out what you know as well. They let you talk. They make you feel good, because they are obviously following along with you and taking an interest.

When they are your boss, they let you talk and give you the opportunity to self-discover solutions and ideas. “We own the world we help to create” and bosses who listen and give their people the opportunity to speak, to suggest, to innovate are going to have a highly engaged team. That is the team that is going to win against the vast majority of teams who just show up to get paid. So the ROI (Return On Investment) from listening can be huge. Were you listening?