226 The Power of Showing Up: Embracing Imperfection and Struggles with PDA and RSD
Release Date: 01/16/2024
Unapologetically Sensitive
Lessons From the Past and Moving Forward In this episode, Patricia reconnects after a long break to discuss personal growth through relationships, dealing with OCD, and navigating self-disclosure. Patricia shares experiences with past friendships, lessons learned, and the journey of forming new connections while managing neurodivergence. Tips for content creation and future podcast plans are also highlighted. HIGHLIGHTS · Patricia’s return to podcasting after a long hiatus. · Struggles with OCD and its impact on...
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Taking a Podcast Break: Self-Acceptance & Self-Worth Patricia announces that she will be taking a break from the podcast. She discusses the challenges of OCD and attachment injuries in relationships and shares tools that have been helpful for her, such as identifying wants, needs, desires, and expectations. She also talks about the importance of rupture and repair work in therapy and coaching relationships. Patricia expresses gratitude to all the listeners, and emphasizes the importance of self-acceptance and self-worth. HIGHLIGHTS Takeaways Taking breaks...
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Attachment Injuries and OCD: The Healing Continues Summary Patricia discusses her experience with OCD and attachment injuries while Jen, is on vacation. She explores her fears and insecurities about asking for support and needing connection. Patricia reflects on the importance of consistent communication and creating containers to improve nervous system regulation. She also delves into her childhood experiences of feeling invisible and not belonging, and how this impacts current relationships. HIGHLIGHTS Takeaways ...
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Annoyance & Acceptance: Managing Emotions in Friendships Jen and Patricia discuss the importance of naming and accepting emotions, including annoyance, as well as the challenges of communication and managing expectations in their friendship. They share personal experiences and strategies for navigating difficult feelings, emphasizing the value of patience and trust in their conversations. They discuss concepts like nonviolent communication and the impact of attachment wounds on relationships. CO-HOST Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC HIGHLIGHTS Summary Patricia and Jen discuss...
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The Importance of Self-Regulation, Self-Compassion and Connection Patricia discusses her feelings of annoyance and disappointment when her scheduled recording with Jen is cancelled. The conversation highlights the complexities of managing emotions and maintaining healthy boundaries in relationships. She also discusses her experience of transitioning from an expansive state to a contractive state and the challenges that come with it. She talks about managing dysregulation, the impact of trauma work and OCD, and the importance of self-compassion. HIGHLIGHTS Summary Patricia...
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Navigating Reconnection after Rupture: Messiness Is a Healthy Part of Relationships Patricia and Jen discuss the challenges of reconnecting after a rupture in their relationship. They explore the fear of not being able to get back to normal and the desire for rupture and repair in significant relationships. They also discuss the importance of authenticity, setting boundaries, and being clear about needs and expectations. They touch on topics such as OCD, panic attacks, and the process of growth and transformation. CO-HOST Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC HIGHLIGHTS ...
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Taking up Space and Expressing Your Feelings is Important for Healing Attachment Injuries Patricia shares her experiences of her recent trip to Chicago. She discusses the challenges she faced in navigating changes in plans and the emotions that arose during her son's graduation from boot camp. Patricia also explores the importance of creating a secure attachment in her relationship with Jen and the need to ask for what she wants and needs with both Jen and her son. She emphasizes the significance of taking up space, expressing feelings, and finding support in managing attachment...
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Anger and Attachment: Navigating Different Neurotypes Within a Relationship Patricia and Jen explore the dynamics of attachment injuries, ADHD, and autism within their friendship. They explore the challenges of communication, time orientation, and emotional regulation. They touch on the concept of platonic life partnership and the challenges navigating different attachment styles and the impact of past trauma on present interactions. They discuss the importance of setting expectations, creating safe containers for communication, and validating each other's emotions. CO-HOST Jen...
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PDA & Empowering Autonomy: Navigating Uncertainty and Travel Preparation Patricia discusses her experiences with attachment injuries, being activated, anxiety, and preparing for travel. She shares insights into managing her emotions and navigating relationships through the lens of autism with a PDA profile. Patricia asserts her need for autonomy, feelings of powerlessness, and the challenges of managing uncertainty. Patricia also explores her experiences with OCD, hypervigilance, and the impact of early childhood trauma on her current behaviors and thought patterns. ...
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Friendships Paradigms: Monogamy and Polyamory and Platonic Partnerships Patricia discusses the concept of monogamy and polyamory in friendships and platonic partnerships. She explores how the traditional view of monogamy has a hierarchy when one person enters a romantic relationship. Neurodivergent folks often have closer friendships that are more like platonic partnerships. Patricia shares her insights on the importance of defining communication patterns and expectations in friendships. She also reflects on the challenges of permanence and attachment wounds in relationships. ...
info_outlineThe Power of Showing Up: Embracing Imperfection and Struggles with PDA and RSD
Jen and I discuss our struggles with showing up and doing life even when it's hard. We model grace and vulnerability, reminding you that it's okay to not have it all together. The conversation touches on topics such as PDA, rejection-sensitive dysphoria RSD, and the pressure of gift-giving. We also discuss the importance of communication and staying connected, even when feeling tired or overwhelmed. This episode is helpful for anyone who may be struggling.
CO-HOST
Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC
HIGHLIGHTS
Summary
In this conversation, Patricia and Jen discuss their personal struggles with health issues, specifically vertigo and its impact on their daily lives. They explore the challenges of navigating uncertainty, the importance of showing up authentically even when it's hard, and the need for self-compassion and self-care. They also delve into topics such as perception, autonomy, and the role of humor in medical settings. The conversation highlights the significance of connection, vulnerability, and understanding in supporting one another during difficult times. Ultimately, they emphasize the importance of recognizing and honoring one's own needs and limitations. In this conversation, Jen and Patricia discuss the importance of effective communication and provide practical tips for improving communication skills. They explore the role of active listening, empathy, non-verbal communication, cultural sensitivity, and overcoming communication barriers. The conversation emphasizes the significance of clear and respectful communication in personal and professional relationships.
· We discuss the challenges of being perceived and the pressure to conform to societal expectations.
· The conversation touches on topics such as autism, PDA, and rejection-sensitive dysphoria (RSD).
· We discuss the importance of communication and staying connected, even when feeling tired or overwhelmed.
· It’s okay to not have it all together.
· We talk about the pressure of gift-giving and the anxiety it can cause for neurodivergent individuals.
· We discuss the concept of being in charge and the nervous system getting activated when feeling a loss of autonomy (PDA—Pathological Demand Avoidance or Pervasive/Persistent Drive for Autonomy).
· We friends share our experiences with PDA and how it affects our daily lives.
· We talk about the importance of self-care and setting boundaries to avoid burnout.
· We discuss the challenges of being vulnerable and the fear of rejection that comes with it.
· The conversation touches on the importance of self-acceptance and embracing one's unique traits.
· We discuss the impact of childhood experiences on our current struggles and coping mechanisms.
· We share our experiences with medical care and how we navigate uncomfortable situations.
· We talk about the importance of humor and how it can humanize otherwise sterile environments.
· The conversation ends with a reminder to be kind to oneself and to embrace imperfection as a part of the human experience.
Takeaways
Navigating health issues can be challenging and uncertain, but it's important to show up authentically and seek support.
Self-compassion and self-care are crucial during difficult times, even if it means letting go of expectations and prioritizing rest.
Communication and understanding are key in maintaining healthy relationships and navigating challenges together.
Humor and vulnerability can provide comfort and connection in medical settings, helping to humanize the experience. Effective communication is crucial for building strong relationships and resolving conflicts.
Active listening and empathy are essential skills for effective communication.
Non-verbal communication, such as body language and facial expressions, can convey important messages.
Cultural sensitivity is important for understanding and respecting diverse communication styles.
Identifying and overcoming communication barriers can improve the quality of communication.
Chapters (these times need to be adjusted to the addition of the introduction)
00:00 Introduction and Setting the Tone
01:10 Modeling How to Show Up and Do Life Even When It's Hard
02:06 Supporting Each Other and Being Present
02:31 Understanding and Sharing Personal Health Struggles
06:10 The Uncertainty and Challenges of Dealing with Vertigo
09:01 The Impact of Dizziness on Daily Life and Activities
10:15 Navigating the Emotional and Mental Toll of Health Issues
12:30 The Importance of Connection and Honesty in Difficult Times
13:40 Exploring Personal Awareness and Self-Reflection
21:11 The Influence of Perception and Autonomy on Self-Care
23:51 The Role of Humor and Vulnerability in Medical Settings
26:14 Navigating Overwhelm and Setting Boundaries During the Holidays
29:03 Recognizing Soul Fatigue and the Need for Rest
31:37 Reevaluating Expectations and Prioritizing Self-Care
35:20 Communicating Needs and Understanding Each Other
37:30 Reflection and Gratitude
02:30 The Importance of Effective Communication
08:15 Active Listening and Empathy
15:45 Non-Verbal Communication
22:10 Cultural Sensitivity and Communication
29:20 Overcoming Communication Barriers
35:10 Conclusion
PODCAST HOST
Patricia was a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, but is now exclusively providing coaching. She knows what it’s like to feel like an outcast, misfit, and truthteller. Learning about the trait of being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), then learning she is AuDHD with a PDA profile helped Patricia rewrite her history with a deeper understanding, appreciation, and a sense of self-compassion. She created the podcast Unapologetically Sensitive to help other neurodivergent folks know that they aren’t alone, and that having a brain that is wired differently comes with amazing gifts, and some challenges. Patricia works online globally working individually with people, and she teaches Online Courses for HSPs that focus on understanding what it means to be an HSP, self-care, self-compassion, boundaries, perfectionism, mindfulness, communication, and creating a lifestyle that honors you
CO-HOST BIO
Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC has been a psychotherapist for 20 years. She specializes in helping Highly Sensitive People thrive in love, work, and parenting Highly Sensitive Children. Jen is passionate about using mindfulness and compassion-based approaches to ameliorate human suffering.
LINKS
Jen’s Links
Email: [email protected]
Jen’s website: https://heartfulnessconsulting.com/
Patricia’s Links
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