226 The Power of Showing Up: Embracing Imperfection and Struggles with PDA and RSD
Release Date: 01/16/2024
Unapologetically Sensitive
The Quiet Season: Healing, Routine, and “Nothing to Talk About” Patricia (she/her) reflects on a quiet, low-drama season of life and how emotional regulation, routine, and healing can create a sense of calm—but also unexpected challenges for creativity and productivity. She shares honest insights about AuDHD, executive functioning struggles, and the difficulty of initiating tasks when life slows down. Patricia also explores her deep connection to animals, the role of caregiving in neurodivergent lives, and how simplicity, routine, and lower expectations are supporting her wellbeing right...
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The Radical Neurodivergent Act of Stopping Before You’re Exhausted Patricia (she/her) shares what it’s like when life is actuall calm. Without drama or big stories to tell, she reflects on learning to honor her energy limits. Patricia talks about pacing physical activity, noticing the urge to push past fatigue, and practicing self-compassion when her body needs rest. She also shares everyday moments—from kayaking at sunrise to navigating workouts and dog walks—while exploring what it means for autistic and neurodivergent people to find the “sweet spot” between doing enough and...
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Yes, I Twisted My Ankle. Yes, I Peed a Little Patricia Young (she/her) explores how change— even neutral change — can feel dysregulating, especially for autistic and neurodivergent people. From shifting family schedules and unexpected travel changes to navigating awkward neighbor dynamics and social gray areas, she shares real-life examples of practicing flexibility instead of binary thinking. WHAT YOU’LL HEAR IN THIS EPISODE · Why neutral change can still feel deeply dysregulating · The nervous system impact of...
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Insurance Denials, Unexpected Connection Hacks and a Kitten with a Foot Fetish Patricia Young (she/her) shares a “mishmash” of real-time reflections on disappointment, expectations, nervous system shifts, and the everyday emotional intensity of being AuDHD. From insurance frustrations and PDA autonomy struggles to surprising connection hacks like a digital picture frame, Patricia explores what it means to be neurodivergent in a world full of unpredictability. This episode is a gentle reminder that big feelings are valid, connection can show up unexpectedly, and sensitivity is nothing to...
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Unbothered, Unmasked, and Still Showing Up: Why Neurodivergent People Do the Hard Things for Others Patricia Young (she/her) explores what it means to show up for others as an AuDHDer. She reflects on value-driven behavior, executive functioning challenges, internalized ableism, grief, rest, and the deep relief of living an “unbothered life.” Through personal stories about partnership, support, sensory overwhelm, initiation struggles, and authentic connection, this episode invites listeners to rethink productivity, compassion, and what real belonging looks like when we stop masking and...
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The Day My Nervous System Chose Violence (Internally) Patricia Young (she/her) explores what happens when big feelings meet medication changes, OCD spirals, and unmet needs. Through a vulnerable personal story about adjusting OCD medication, asking for support, and reacting more intensely than expected, Patricia reflects on autism, relational OCD, RSD, and trauma responses. She also discusses how to hold grief and joy at the same time, how to create meaning when life is profoundly unfair, and why it’s okay to share joy without making yourself smaller. This episode is a compassionate reminder...
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The Holidays: A Group Project My Nervous System Didn’t Agree To In this New Year’s episode, Patricia Young (she/her) explores why the holiday season can be especially challenging for autistic, ADHD, and AuDHD nervous systems. Through personal stories about gift giving, overstimulation, masking, PDA, rejection sensitivity, and the need for sameness and predictability, she unpacks how small changes and social expectations can quietly dysregulate neurodivergent people. The episode also includes updates on her purple hair and tattoo, reflections on attunement and fairness, and a gentle...
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Bold Moves: Purple Hair, a Tattoo, and No Take-Backs Patricia (she/her) reflects on what it really means to make bold moves—and how we talk to ourselves when those decisions don’t land the way we hoped. Through the very real experiences of dyeing her hair purple for the first time and getting a tattoo she isn’t sure she likes, she explores autistic decision-making, sensory overwhelm, masking, regret, and self-compassion. This episode is about reframing regret as information, honoring neurodivergent needs in the moment, and learning how to be kinder to ourselves when we take risks and...
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Keeping it Real During the Holidays: p.s. I Love the Grinch! Patricia (she/her) dives into the emotional and sensory whirlwind of navigating change as an AuDHDer during the holiday season. She unpacks the exhaustion that comes from shifting family dynamics, unpredictable routines, kitten chaos, people coming and going, and the desire to show up with more capacity than she actually has. Patricia speaks candidly about shutdowns, resentment, communication misfires and boundary-setting. This episode invites listeners to honor their own wiring, acknowledge their limits, and give themselves...
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Boring Means Stable: Learning to Love Ordinary Days In this honest, meandering, and heart-centered solo episode, Patricia Young (she/her) opens up about feeling “not enough,” while navigating overwhelm, managing PDA (Pervasive Drive for Autonomy. From decluttering and kayaking to the quiet comfort of boring days and the challenges of social invitations, Patricia invites listeners into the gentle, nonlinear process of living authentically as an AuDHDer. With humor and tenderness, she explores aging, family connection, holidays, and what it means to find peace amid imperfection. WHAT...
info_outlineThe Power of Showing Up: Embracing Imperfection and Struggles with PDA and RSD
Jen and I discuss our struggles with showing up and doing life even when it's hard. We model grace and vulnerability, reminding you that it's okay to not have it all together. The conversation touches on topics such as PDA, rejection-sensitive dysphoria RSD, and the pressure of gift-giving. We also discuss the importance of communication and staying connected, even when feeling tired or overwhelmed. This episode is helpful for anyone who may be struggling.
CO-HOST
Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC
HIGHLIGHTS
Summary
In this conversation, Patricia and Jen discuss their personal struggles with health issues, specifically vertigo and its impact on their daily lives. They explore the challenges of navigating uncertainty, the importance of showing up authentically even when it's hard, and the need for self-compassion and self-care. They also delve into topics such as perception, autonomy, and the role of humor in medical settings. The conversation highlights the significance of connection, vulnerability, and understanding in supporting one another during difficult times. Ultimately, they emphasize the importance of recognizing and honoring one's own needs and limitations. In this conversation, Jen and Patricia discuss the importance of effective communication and provide practical tips for improving communication skills. They explore the role of active listening, empathy, non-verbal communication, cultural sensitivity, and overcoming communication barriers. The conversation emphasizes the significance of clear and respectful communication in personal and professional relationships.
· We discuss the challenges of being perceived and the pressure to conform to societal expectations.
· The conversation touches on topics such as autism, PDA, and rejection-sensitive dysphoria (RSD).
· We discuss the importance of communication and staying connected, even when feeling tired or overwhelmed.
· It’s okay to not have it all together.
· We talk about the pressure of gift-giving and the anxiety it can cause for neurodivergent individuals.
· We discuss the concept of being in charge and the nervous system getting activated when feeling a loss of autonomy (PDA—Pathological Demand Avoidance or Pervasive/Persistent Drive for Autonomy).
· We friends share our experiences with PDA and how it affects our daily lives.
· We talk about the importance of self-care and setting boundaries to avoid burnout.
· We discuss the challenges of being vulnerable and the fear of rejection that comes with it.
· The conversation touches on the importance of self-acceptance and embracing one's unique traits.
· We discuss the impact of childhood experiences on our current struggles and coping mechanisms.
· We share our experiences with medical care and how we navigate uncomfortable situations.
· We talk about the importance of humor and how it can humanize otherwise sterile environments.
· The conversation ends with a reminder to be kind to oneself and to embrace imperfection as a part of the human experience.
Takeaways
Navigating health issues can be challenging and uncertain, but it's important to show up authentically and seek support.
Self-compassion and self-care are crucial during difficult times, even if it means letting go of expectations and prioritizing rest.
Communication and understanding are key in maintaining healthy relationships and navigating challenges together.
Humor and vulnerability can provide comfort and connection in medical settings, helping to humanize the experience. Effective communication is crucial for building strong relationships and resolving conflicts.
Active listening and empathy are essential skills for effective communication.
Non-verbal communication, such as body language and facial expressions, can convey important messages.
Cultural sensitivity is important for understanding and respecting diverse communication styles.
Identifying and overcoming communication barriers can improve the quality of communication.
Chapters (these times need to be adjusted to the addition of the introduction)
00:00 Introduction and Setting the Tone
01:10 Modeling How to Show Up and Do Life Even When It's Hard
02:06 Supporting Each Other and Being Present
02:31 Understanding and Sharing Personal Health Struggles
06:10 The Uncertainty and Challenges of Dealing with Vertigo
09:01 The Impact of Dizziness on Daily Life and Activities
10:15 Navigating the Emotional and Mental Toll of Health Issues
12:30 The Importance of Connection and Honesty in Difficult Times
13:40 Exploring Personal Awareness and Self-Reflection
21:11 The Influence of Perception and Autonomy on Self-Care
23:51 The Role of Humor and Vulnerability in Medical Settings
26:14 Navigating Overwhelm and Setting Boundaries During the Holidays
29:03 Recognizing Soul Fatigue and the Need for Rest
31:37 Reevaluating Expectations and Prioritizing Self-Care
35:20 Communicating Needs and Understanding Each Other
37:30 Reflection and Gratitude
02:30 The Importance of Effective Communication
08:15 Active Listening and Empathy
15:45 Non-Verbal Communication
22:10 Cultural Sensitivity and Communication
29:20 Overcoming Communication Barriers
35:10 Conclusion
PODCAST HOST
Patricia was a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, but is now exclusively providing coaching. She knows what it’s like to feel like an outcast, misfit, and truthteller. Learning about the trait of being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), then learning she is AuDHD with a PDA profile helped Patricia rewrite her history with a deeper understanding, appreciation, and a sense of self-compassion. She created the podcast Unapologetically Sensitive to help other neurodivergent folks know that they aren’t alone, and that having a brain that is wired differently comes with amazing gifts, and some challenges. Patricia works online globally working individually with people, and she teaches Online Courses for HSPs that focus on understanding what it means to be an HSP, self-care, self-compassion, boundaries, perfectionism, mindfulness, communication, and creating a lifestyle that honors you
CO-HOST BIO
Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC has been a psychotherapist for 20 years. She specializes in helping Highly Sensitive People thrive in love, work, and parenting Highly Sensitive Children. Jen is passionate about using mindfulness and compassion-based approaches to ameliorate human suffering.
LINKS
Jen’s Links
Email: Jen@heartfulnessconsulting.com
Jen’s website: https://heartfulnessconsulting.com/
Patricia’s Links
HSP Online Course--https://unapologeticallysensitive.com/hsp-online-groups/
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Music-- Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson www.andyrobinson.com