229 Real Talk on Health Challenges: Speaking FOR Your Parts vs. Speaking FROM Your Parts
Release Date: 02/06/2024
Unapologetically Sensitive
Taking a Podcast Break: Self-Acceptance & Self-Worth Patricia announces that she will be taking a break from the podcast. She discusses the challenges of OCD and attachment injuries in relationships and shares tools that have been helpful for her, such as identifying wants, needs, desires, and expectations. She also talks about the importance of rupture and repair work in therapy and coaching relationships. Patricia expresses gratitude to all the listeners, and emphasizes the importance of self-acceptance and self-worth. HIGHLIGHTS Takeaways Taking breaks...
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Attachment Injuries and OCD: The Healing Continues Summary Patricia discusses her experience with OCD and attachment injuries while Jen, is on vacation. She explores her fears and insecurities about asking for support and needing connection. Patricia reflects on the importance of consistent communication and creating containers to improve nervous system regulation. She also delves into her childhood experiences of feeling invisible and not belonging, and how this impacts current relationships. HIGHLIGHTS Takeaways ...
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Annoyance & Acceptance: Managing Emotions in Friendships Jen and Patricia discuss the importance of naming and accepting emotions, including annoyance, as well as the challenges of communication and managing expectations in their friendship. They share personal experiences and strategies for navigating difficult feelings, emphasizing the value of patience and trust in their conversations. They discuss concepts like nonviolent communication and the impact of attachment wounds on relationships. CO-HOST Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC HIGHLIGHTS Summary Patricia and Jen discuss...
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The Importance of Self-Regulation, Self-Compassion and Connection Patricia discusses her feelings of annoyance and disappointment when her scheduled recording with Jen is cancelled. The conversation highlights the complexities of managing emotions and maintaining healthy boundaries in relationships. She also discusses her experience of transitioning from an expansive state to a contractive state and the challenges that come with it. She talks about managing dysregulation, the impact of trauma work and OCD, and the importance of self-compassion. HIGHLIGHTS Summary Patricia...
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Navigating Reconnection after Rupture: Messiness Is a Healthy Part of Relationships Patricia and Jen discuss the challenges of reconnecting after a rupture in their relationship. They explore the fear of not being able to get back to normal and the desire for rupture and repair in significant relationships. They also discuss the importance of authenticity, setting boundaries, and being clear about needs and expectations. They touch on topics such as OCD, panic attacks, and the process of growth and transformation. CO-HOST Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC HIGHLIGHTS ...
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Taking up Space and Expressing Your Feelings is Important for Healing Attachment Injuries Patricia shares her experiences of her recent trip to Chicago. She discusses the challenges she faced in navigating changes in plans and the emotions that arose during her son's graduation from boot camp. Patricia also explores the importance of creating a secure attachment in her relationship with Jen and the need to ask for what she wants and needs with both Jen and her son. She emphasizes the significance of taking up space, expressing feelings, and finding support in managing attachment...
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Anger and Attachment: Navigating Different Neurotypes Within a Relationship Patricia and Jen explore the dynamics of attachment injuries, ADHD, and autism within their friendship. They explore the challenges of communication, time orientation, and emotional regulation. They touch on the concept of platonic life partnership and the challenges navigating different attachment styles and the impact of past trauma on present interactions. They discuss the importance of setting expectations, creating safe containers for communication, and validating each other's emotions. CO-HOST Jen...
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PDA & Empowering Autonomy: Navigating Uncertainty and Travel Preparation Patricia discusses her experiences with attachment injuries, being activated, anxiety, and preparing for travel. She shares insights into managing her emotions and navigating relationships through the lens of autism with a PDA profile. Patricia asserts her need for autonomy, feelings of powerlessness, and the challenges of managing uncertainty. Patricia also explores her experiences with OCD, hypervigilance, and the impact of early childhood trauma on her current behaviors and thought patterns. ...
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Friendships Paradigms: Monogamy and Polyamory and Platonic Partnerships Patricia discusses the concept of monogamy and polyamory in friendships and platonic partnerships. She explores how the traditional view of monogamy has a hierarchy when one person enters a romantic relationship. Neurodivergent folks often have closer friendships that are more like platonic partnerships. Patricia shares her insights on the importance of defining communication patterns and expectations in friendships. She also reflects on the challenges of permanence and attachment wounds in relationships. ...
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Attachment: Self-Compassion, Recognizing & Healing Unblended Parts Patricia and Jen discuss their personal experiences with attachment injuries and how it affects their relationship. They explore the challenges of communication and the impact of past traumas. Patricia shares insights from her recovery journey, drawing parallels between her eating disorder and her attachment struggles. They emphasize the importance of self-compassion and understanding in navigating these complex dynamics. The conversation concludes with a discussion on the value of conflict and the importance of...
info_outlineReal Talk on Health Challenges: Speaking FOR Your Parts vs. Speaking FROM Your Parts
Jen and I talk about the difference between complaining, speaking honestly about what’s going on, and the other person’s capacity to sit with things that they may feel they need to fix or change. Many of you have been told that you complain too much or that you’re too negative. Neurodivergent brains tend to report the truth, and we are very discerning about what we like and what we don’t like. This can be perceived as negativity, complaining or being depressing to be around. What if it really wasn’t about you?
CO-HOST
Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC
HIGHLIGHTS
Summary
In this conversation, Patricia and Jen discuss the difference between complaining and sharing honestly about personal struggles. They explore the challenges of navigating conversations around difficult topics and the importance of holding space for each other's experiences. They also delve into the healing process and the acceptance of trauma, emphasizing the need to honor and validate our own emotions. The conversation highlights the significance of checking intentions and capacity in communication, as well as the transformative power of being in relationship with our experiences. In this conversation, Jen and Patricia discuss the importance of speaking from a part versus speaking for a part. They explore the concept of unprocessed trauma and how it can affect communication. They also discuss the significance of acknowledging and balancing pain, as well as differentiating between acting from a part and speaking for a part. The conversation highlights the role of chaperoning the part and the importance of validating and witnessing pain. Finally, they find humor in the uncertainty of their podcast episodes.
Takeaways
Differentiate between complaining and sharing honestly about personal struggles.
Hold space for each other's experiences and validate emotions.
Accept and heal from trauma by being in relationship with our experiences.
Check intentions and capacity in communication to ensure effective and compassionate conversations. It is important to speak from a part rather than speaking for a part.
Unprocessed trauma can impact communication and lead to a desire for others to intuitively understand and fix our needs.
Acknowledging and balancing pain can help in managing distressing emotions.
Differentiating between acting from a part and speaking for a part can provide clarity in communication.
Chaperoning the part involves bringing in other perspectives and validating the pain experienced.
Validating and witnessing pain is crucial in processing unprocessed trauma.
Finding humor in uncertainty can help alleviate pressure and create a lighter atmosphere.
Chapters (adjust for addition of introduction)
00:00 Introduction and Personal Updates
02:34 Differentiating Between Complaining and Sharing
08:15 Healing and Accepting Trauma
13:25 The Healing Process and Holding Space
16:53 The Energy of Holding Space and Acceptance
23:39 Checking Intentions and Capacity in Communication
27:19 Navigating Difficult Conversations and Boundaries
32:24 Processing Trauma and Holding Space for Emotions
36:29 The Complexity of Communication and Trauma Responses
38:55 Being in Relationship with Our Experiences and Healing
39:52 Speaking from a Part vs. Speaking for a Part
40:38 Identifying Unprocessed Trauma
41:33 Acknowledging and Balancing Pain
42:14 Differentiating Acting from Speaking
42:53 Chaperoning the Part
43:22 Validating and Witnessing Pain
43:42 Finding Humor in Uncertainty
PODCAST HOST
Patricia was a Licensed Clinical Social Worker for over 17 years, but she is now exclusively providing coaching. She knows what it’s like to feel like an outcast, misfit, and truthteller. Learning about the trait of being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), then learning she is AuDHD with a PDA profile and RSD, helped Patricia rewrite her history with a deeper understanding, appreciation, and a sense of self-compassion. She created the podcast Unapologetically Sensitive to help other neurodivergent folks know that they aren’t alone, and that having a brain that is wired differently comes with amazing gifts, and some challenges. Patricia works online globally working individually with people, and she teaches Online Courses for neurodivergent folks that focus on understanding what it means to be a sensitive neurodivergent. Topics covered include: self-care, self-compassion, boundaries, perfectionism, mindfulness, communication, and creating a lifestyle that honors you
CO-HOST BIO
Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC has been a psychotherapist for 20 years. She specializes in helping Highly Sensitive People thrive in love, work, and parenting Highly Sensitive Children. Jen is passionate about using mindfulness and compassion-based approaches to ameliorate human suffering.
LINKS
Jen’s Links
Email: [email protected]
Jen’s website: https://heartfulnessconsulting.com/
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