230 Exploring Identity, and Turning Toward Yourself in Affirming Ways
Release Date: 02/13/2024
241 Attachment Wounds: When You Can't Work it out in the Moment
Unapologetically Sensitive
Attachment Wounds: When You Can’t Work It Out In The Moment Patricia reflects on her attachment wounds & something that happened with Jen. She emphasizes that the issue was not a rupture in her relationship, but rather her own trauma and wounding. She reassures listeners that they are doing fine & have navigated the situation with honesty & grace. Patricia also touches on the importance of doing personal work & finding others who are also committed to growth. She encourages listeners to embrace their sensitivity & prioritize their own needs and boundaries. ...
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240 Navigating Grief, Uncertainty & Travel Through the Lens of Attachment
Unapologetically Sensitive
Navigating Grief, Uncertainty & Travel Through the Lens of Attachment Patricia and Jen discuss navigating uncertainty and overwhelm, managing change and unexpected situations, balancing personal needs, the power of communication and validation, finding meaning and value in relationships, coping with anxiety and catastrophic thinking, choosing to assume the best, managing energy and boundaries, secure attachment and autonomy, dealing with uncertainty and seeking information, taking care of yourself in travel. They also reflect on their friendship CO-HOST Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC...
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239 Being “Too Much” is a Narrative that needs to be Re-examined
Unapologetically Sensitive
Being “Too Much” is a Narrative that needs to be Re-examined Summary Patricia discusses the wound of too much and how it can impact relationships. Too much is about BOTH people and the capacity of the other person. This is a narrative that needs to be reexamined, and the context of both people needs to be addressed. She explores the intersection of neurodivergence, trauma, and socialization. Patricia also explores the concept of rules, and how through an autistic lens, this can create some challenges. HIGHLIGHTS Takeaways The wound of feeling like...
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238 Learning to Trust Yourself and Finding Peace in Your Own Rhythm
Unapologetically Sensitive
Learning to Trust Yourself and Finding Peace in Your Own Rhythm Patricia discusses her experience when her husband is away. She shares her journey of managing attachment wounds, and the challenges of household responsibilities. Patricia also explores the impact of autistic burnout and ADHD on her ability to stay on top of things. She emphasizes the importance of honoring autonomy and considering others while maintaining a sense of self. Patricia concludes by encouraging listeners to trust themselves and find comfort in their own needs and wiring. HIGHLIGHTS Takeaways ...
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237 Unmasking & Authentic Communication: Navigating Differences in Relationships
Unapologetically Sensitive
Unmasking & Authentic Communication: Navigating Differences in Relationships Patricia and Jen discuss the challenges of unmasking and being authentic in relationships including the role of PDA (Pervasive Drive for Autonomy). They explore the narratives we have about ourselves and how they can impact our interactions with others. They also delve into the differences in communication styles and perspectives, and the importance of embracing who we are. The conversation highlights the need to navigate personal dynamics and self-reflection in order to foster understanding and growth. ...
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236 Exploring Neurodivergence in Relationships: Understanding Unique Perspectives
Unapologetically Sensitive
Exploring Neurodivergence in Relationships: Understanding Unique Perspectives In this conversation, Patricia and Jen discuss their struggles with linear content and their values of focusing on relational topics. They explore the challenges of staying true to their authentic selves while creating content. The conversation also delves into the dynamics of their relationship and the growth they have experienced in building trust and security, and things they sometimes find difficult to discuss. CO-HOST Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC HIGHLIGHTS Takeaways Staying...
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235 Red & Green Flags in Relationships
Unapologetically Sensitive
Red & Green Flags in Relationships Patricia discusses red flags and ideal qualities in relationships. She emphasizes the importance of honoring rhythms and self-care, as well as effective communication and conflict resolution. Patricia also addresses gaslighting, setting boundaries, and the significance of trust, honesty, and similar values in a relationship. She explores the impact of political differences and attachment wounds on a partnership. The episode concludes with a reminder to embrace sensitivity and prioritize self-care. HIGHLIGHTS Takeaways ...
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234 Navigating Miscommunication and Misunderstanding
Unapologetically Sensitive
Navigating Miscommunication and Misunderstanding Jen helps me process through a communication blip I had with my son. My husband & I have very different styles when talking to our boys, & I felt inadequate, and I sometimes struggle to attune. We talk about context when communicating, projection, who is a safe person to get angry at, & I talk about my own reactivity and confusion at my reaction. Jen reminds me that my family sticks with hard conversations. We also talk about having neuro-normative standards, & how that constantly leads to disappointment. ...
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233 Neurodivergence and Friendship: The Struggle is Real
Unapologetically Sensitive
Neurodivergence and Friendship: The Struggle is Real I talk about the challenges and complexities of friendships for neurodivergent folks, and the changing nature of friendships, the importance of reciprocity and communication. I discuss navigating difficult conversations, recognizing and addressing needs, and setting boundaries. I talk about the tendency to feel central in someone's life, and the challenges of accepting neurodivergence in relationships. I explore the importance of self-awareness, authenticity, and honoring one's own needs in relationships. HIGHLIGHTS ...
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232 The Importance of Rest & Learning to Receive & Ask for Help
Unapologetically Sensitive
The Importance of Rest & Learning to Receive & Ask for Help Patricia and Jen discuss their health updates and the challenges they have faced. They also delve into the pressure to be productive and the fear of not functioning. The conversation shifts to vulnerability and insecurity in relationships, as well as the process of learning to receive and ask for help. They reflect on the growth and healing that comes from navigating attachment wounds. The conversation concludes with a discussion on the significance of not always having to do deep work in therapy. CO-HOST ...
info_outlineExploring Identity, and Turning Toward Yourself in Affirming Ways
Jen and I touch on so much in this episode: challenges setting boundaries; structure vs. the need for novelty (ADHD vs. autism), attachment injuries and bids for connection; the challenges and gifts of hard conversations; what neuro-affirming therapy looks like; PDA and focusing on others to reduce demands; masking; what comes up when someone suspects they are autistic or are recently diagnosed.
CO-HOST
Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC
HIGHLIGHTS
Summary
In this conversation, Jen and Patricia discuss various topics related to parenting, boundaries, and self-discovery. They explore the challenges of adjusting to new structures and parenting roles, as well as the importance of partnering with children and acknowledging limitations. They also discuss the significance of modeling imperfection and repairing emotional availability. The conversation delves into navigating personal preferences and resistance, expressing needs and bids for connection, and the importance of setting boundaries and embracing autonomy. They also touch on the process of recognizing and embracing an autistic identity, as well as the roller coaster of emotions that can come with this realization. Overall, the conversation highlights the importance of self-reflection, authenticity, and deepening intimacy in relationships.
Takeaways
· Adjusting to new structures and parenting roles can be challenging but can also provide opportunities for growth and learning.
· Modeling imperfection and repairing emotional availability can strengthen relationships and create a sense of safety and trust.
· Setting boundaries and embracing autonomy are essential for self-care and maintaining healthy relationships.
· Becoming your own heroine in your life and your story
· Assessing what you want in relationships, and seeing if the people who are disappointing you are people you would choose
· Communicating when it you’re wanting a bid for connection
· Addressing our attachment wounds in relationship is really an act of service to the relationship
· The ongoing challenge between ADHD and the need for novelty and with autism wanting routine and structure
· Conflict and avoidance of conflict can be hard, and having difficult conversations can also be hard. How does it help the relationship?
· The importance of having autistic or neuro-affirming therapists and coaches since allistic practitioners can cause more trauma and harm
· If you’re recently diagnosed autistic or suspect you are autistic, you may experience skill regression, difficulty doing things you previously did, and your identify may be shaken up (there’s grief and anger there as well)
· Ways your PDA may be showing up and things you have learned to do to minimize having your nervous system activated
· You may have been socialized to be “other focused,” which makes it hard to know what you are wanting and needing, and it can be a form of masking, and it may reduce PDA and RSD
Recognizing and embracing an autistic identity can bring validation and understanding, but it can also be accompanied by a roller coaster of emotions and a need for self-reflection.
Chapters (adjust time for the addition of the introduction)
00:00 Introduction and Checking In
01:18 Adjusting to New Structure and Parenting
03:03 Partnering with Children and Acknowledging Limitations
04:23 Modeling Imperfection and Repairing Emotional Availability
05:05 Exploring Personal Challenges and Seeking Support
06:41 Navigating Personal Preferences and Resistance
08:08 Expressing Needs and Bids for Connection
09:35 Navigating Difficult Conversations and Repairing Ruptures
10:51 Taking Risks and Embracing Discomfort
12:40 Honoring Wounds and Attending to Healing
14:51 Setting Boundaries and Embracing Autonomy
16:40 Navigating Conflict and Deepening Intimacy
19:03 Recognizing Autistic Identity and Processing Emotions
23:53 Reevaluating Relationships and Prioritizing Values
27:10 Embracing Authenticity and Self-Reflection
31:57 Navigating the Roller Coaster of Autistic Identity
32:44 Conclusion
PODCAST HOST
Patricia was a Licensed Clinical Social Worker for over 17 years, but she is now exclusively providing coaching. She knows what it’s like to feel like an outcast, misfit, and truthteller. Learning about the trait of being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), then learning she is AuDHD with a PDA profile and RSD, helped Patricia rewrite her history with a deeper understanding, appreciation, and a sense of self-compassion. She created the podcast Unapologetically Sensitive to help other neurodivergent folks know that they aren’t alone, and that having a brain that is wired differently comes with amazing gifts, and some challenges. Patricia works online globally working individually with people, and she teaches Online Courses for neurodivergent folks that focus on understanding what it means to be a sensitive neurodivergent. Topics covered include: self-care, self-compassion, boundaries, perfectionism, mindfulness, communication, and creating a lifestyle that honors you
CO-HOST BIO
Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC has been a psychotherapist for 20 years. She specializes in helping Highly Sensitive People thrive in love, work, and parenting Highly Sensitive Children. Jen is passionate about using mindfulness and compassion-based approaches to ameliorate human suffering.
LINKS
Jen’s Links
Email: [email protected]
Jen’s website: https://heartfulnessconsulting.com/
Patricia’s Links
HSP Online Course--https://unapologeticallysensitive.com/hsp-online-groups/
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Music-- Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson www.andyrobinson.com