LTN 17 - Levels Of Dependence
Love Thy Neighbor Show
Love Thy Neighbor relationship show intro Colette Jane Fair as therapist co-host Colette Jane Fair book promotion and name spelling Easier book access at thecostofquiet.com Jokes about bad spelling and confidence Florida cold weather shock and routines Comedy song about being too cold Comparing Florida cold snaps to northern winters Liking New York but not winter weather Extreme Florida temp swings vs gradual cold Relationship awareness from doing the show Relationship content as emotional homework Keeping relationships top of mind Social media pushing relationship...
info_outline
LTN 16 - The Power of Self Talk
Love Thy Neighbor Show
* Love Thy Neighbor intro with Colette Fair and sold out book party in Maitland * Middle names used on air * Dan originally named Dan Lee before radio * Name came from college musician friend * Dan hated Dan Lee and changed it * Joke about Daniel Day Lewis * Colette knowing little about the hosts * Bear suit embarrassment story * Sudden shift from jokes to tragedy * Local therapist murder suicide case * Therapist client boundary risks * Story appearing in social feeds * Avoiding news for mental health * Garbage in garbage out media rule * Balance between news and sanity * After hours therapy...
info_outline
LTN 15 - Handling Aging
Love Thy Neighbor Show
• Introduction of Love Thy Neighbor and Colette Fair as recurring relationship expert • Casual emotional check-in with Colette and jokes about free advice and “private” episodes • Shift to self-esteem, confidence, and how aging impacts desirability • Aging anxiety framed as more intense for women and tied to social pressure • Fear of no longer being attractive to a partner despite reassurance • Difference between venting emotions and partners trying to “fix” feelings • Logical acceptance of aging versus emotional resistance • Dermatologist visit and Botox history...
info_outline
LTN 14 - Purpose Anxiety
Love Thy Neighbor Show
• Introduction of Love Thy Neighbor with relationship therapist Colette Fair • Colette managing stress while preparing for The Cost of Quiet book launch • Announcement of The Cost of Quiet launch event at Maitland Mercedes-Benz • Event details: date, time, location, ticket includes a copy of the book • Framing the launch as both a book release and a community gathering • Loneliness discussed as a widespread modern issue • Feeling lonely even within families and long-term relationships • Humor about hiding in the bathroom for quiet time • Phones and constant distraction...
info_outline
LTN 13 - 20Thousand Dollar Day
Love Thy Neighbor Show
• Love Thy Neighbor introduced as a relationship show focused on growth • Financial stress framed with humor about offering creative services • New year positioned as a moment for relationship reflection, not reinvention • Focus on small, attainable changes over drastic relationship overhauls • Comparison between extreme diet resolutions and unrealistic relationship goals • Small, consistent actions compounding over time • All-or-nothing resolutions setting people up for failure • Behavior change compared to habit-building and voting • New year not magically changing real...
info_outline
LTN 12 - You Can Stay Home
Love Thy Neighbor Show
• Debate over repeating the show title and old-school radio presentation • Traditional radio habits versus modern podcast structure • Adjusting how hosts and guests are introduced on-air • Colette’s media tour to Atlanta, Washington D.C., and Phoenix/Scottsdale • Delayed release of holiday-related media segments • Balancing work travel with mother–daughter time • Family relocation from New York to California and reduced closeness • Ease of travel between Florida and New York influencing migration • Jokes about people “invading” Florida • Media stereotypes about...
info_outline
LTN 11 - Communicate
Love Thy Neighbor Show
• Holiday stress, polarized feelings, and relationship strain • Simplifying expectations and focusing on connection • Intentional family time and low-effort activities like games and puzzles • Screen overstimulation making simple activities feel boring • Relearning enjoyment away from devices • Emotional lift after spending real time with family • Effort required to engage in shared activities • Easy entry games and “adult parallel play” options like pottery, climbing, walking • Bonding without constant conversation; Florida weather enabling outdoor time • Casual family...
info_outline
LTN 10 - The Gray-Divorce
Love Thy Neighbor Show
• Low-effort vs. high-effort Thanksgiving experiences • Colette’s relaxed holiday without her kids • Daniel’s stressful Thanksgiving towing multiple vehicles • Different family traditions and conflicting holiday desires • Two opposing feelings about an experience both being valid • Giants’ struggles, game mishaps, and kicker issues • Annoyance at Kansas City’s continued success and Cowboys rivalry • Social media comparison culture affecting relationships • Pressure from idealized online portrayals vs. real life • Comparison in the past (holiday cards) vs. constant...
info_outline
LTN 9 - The Bird Theory
Love Thy Neighbor Show
• Audience enjoying the relationship show • Reminder to leave reviews on Apple Podcasts and Spotify • More relationship content appearing in social media feeds • Noting that consuming relationship content can boost awareness • Contrast between relationship-focused and random algorithm feeds • Brief joke about Hezbollah/Hezzy and Mike Tyson’s age confusion • Introduction of the online “Bird Theory” test • Example of a staged bird video illustrating the concept • Gottman’s “bids for connection” explained • Turning toward bids linked to long-term satisfaction •...
info_outline
LTN 8 - Cutoffs
Love Thy Neighbor Show
• Live launch of “A Corporate Time with Tom and Dan” on Twitch and YouTube • Promotion of free Bad at Business Beerfest (Nov 22) and Sofas and Suds couch races (Nov 23) in Sanford • Both events are free, family-friendly, and include unlimited beer samples for 21+ • “Weird Job Wednesday” debuts with guest Amy Kaufeldt from Fox 35 • Amy shares her childhood dream of spaceflight and how the Challenger disaster changed her goals • Found passion for writing, studied journalism at Miami University of Ohio • Early unpaid radio work at NPR station WMUB; enjoyed radio’s relaxed...
info_outline• Audience enjoying the relationship show
• Reminder to leave reviews on Apple Podcasts and Spotify
• More relationship content appearing in social media feeds
• Noting that consuming relationship content can boost awareness
• Contrast between relationship-focused and random algorithm feeds
• Brief joke about Hezbollah/Hezzy and Mike Tyson’s age confusion
• Introduction of the online “Bird Theory” test
• Example of a staged bird video illustrating the concept
• Gottman’s “bids for connection” explained
• Turning toward bids linked to long-term satisfaction
• Bids are small attempts to connect, not about literal topics
• Importance of responding even when uninterested
• Ping-pong analogy for communication
• Sharing memes, sports, or small moments as valid bids
• Ignoring bids due to distraction or overload
• Emotional harm from consistently missed bids
• Healthy couples turn toward bids about 86% of the time
• Harmful dismissive responses highlighted
• Context affecting how humor or timing lands
• Supporting a partner’s unrelated interests
• Overwhelming feeling of family members sending constant bids
• Fear of hurting loved ones by not responding
• Parent-child responsiveness applied to spouses
• Spouses feeling de-prioritized next to children
• Challenges in blended families and differing loyalties
• Listener email expressing gratitude for the show
• Joke about putting the show behind a paywall
• Introduction of “retroactive jealousy” question
• Retroactive jealousy defined as fixation on a partner’s past
• Normalizing jealousy but focusing on how it’s handled
• Rumination triggered by hearing about an ex
• Differentiating insecurity from internal anxiety
• Strategy of acknowledging emotions without shaming
• Wondering why a partner often mentions an ex
• Dismissing humorous “exposure therapy” ideas
• Past-reference context in blended families
• Sudden jealousy sparks in long relationships
• Jealousy isn’t the problem—behaviors are
• Past betrayals and personality traits shaping jealousy
• Acceptable to address repeated ex mentions calmly
• Irrational jealousy about teenage events resurfacing
• Watching old VHS tapes and feeling disconnected from past selves
• Exploring why old incidents still sting
• Jealousy sometimes signaling a need for reassurance
• Limited dating histories magnifying past details
• Young relationships evolving into adult ones
• Encouragement to ask compassionate questions
• Fear that discussing issues could “unravel” the relationship
• Recurring infidelity dreams indicating insecurity
• Question about when to show aggression publicly
• Concern over being labeled a “Karen/Kyle”
• Aggression rejected; assertiveness encouraged
• Example of respectful assertiveness when correcting mistakes
• Story of confronting a line-cutter who was blind
• Story of confronting a smoker who was a little person
• Risk of situations escalating or going viral
• Critique of fight-for-honor culture
• Mixed reactions to someone flirting with a spouse
• Some wanting mild jealousy as proof of care
• Jealousy not equal to love
• Partners vary in territorial feelings
• Email from a woman whose relationship began as a work affair
• Agreement delaying introductions to his kids for two years becoming 15
• Missing major family events due to exclusion
• Partner shutting down whenever it’s discussed
• Kids possibly resenting the affair
• Avoidance being harmful regardless of the kids’ stance
• Distinguishing kid acceptance issues from partner communication issues
• Avoidance giving short-term relief but long-term damage
• Need for open talk about shame, loyalty, and exclusion
• Theme of the therapist’s book: the cost of avoidance
• Promotion of “The Cost of Quiet” and preorder bonuses
• Promotion of the Dec. 3 “Pitch a Friend” event
• Event format: three-minute friend pitches
• Event is free or low cost
• Previous events included all ages and red-flag/green-flag games
• Listeners asking if Colette will attend Beer Fest
• Confirmation she will be there
• Invitation for listeners to meet her at the Beer Fest
• Peanuts-style “advice 5¢” joke
• Joke about giving advice for an email address
• Colette excited to meet listeners at both events
• Closing note that they’ll see listeners next week
###
Social Media:
https://tomanddan.com/ | https://twitter.com/tomanddanlive | https://facebook.com/amediocretime | https://instagram.com/tomanddanlive
Where to Find the Show:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-mediocre-time/id334142682 | https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2FtZWRpb2NyZXRpbWUvcG9kY2FzdC54bWw | https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Mediocre-Time-p364156/
The Tom & Dan Radio Show on Real Radio 104.1:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-corporate-time/id975258990 | https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2Fjb3Jwb3JhdGV0aW1lL3BvZGNhc3QueG1s | https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Corporate-Time-p1038501/
Exclusive Content: https://tomanddan.com/registration
Merch: https://tomanddan.myshopify.com/