LTN 17 - Levels Of Dependence
Love Thy Neighbor Show
Love Thy Neighbor relationship show intro Colette Jane Fair as therapist co-host Colette Jane Fair book promotion and name spelling Easier book access at thecostofquiet.com Jokes about bad spelling and confidence Florida cold weather shock and routines Comedy song about being too cold Comparing Florida cold snaps to northern winters Liking New York but not winter weather Extreme Florida temp swings vs gradual cold Relationship awareness from doing the show Relationship content as emotional homework Keeping relationships top of mind Social media pushing relationship...
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LTN 16 - The Power of Self Talk
Love Thy Neighbor Show
* Love Thy Neighbor intro with Colette Fair and sold out book party in Maitland * Middle names used on air * Dan originally named Dan Lee before radio * Name came from college musician friend * Dan hated Dan Lee and changed it * Joke about Daniel Day Lewis * Colette knowing little about the hosts * Bear suit embarrassment story * Sudden shift from jokes to tragedy * Local therapist murder suicide case * Therapist client boundary risks * Story appearing in social feeds * Avoiding news for mental health * Garbage in garbage out media rule * Balance between news and sanity * After hours therapy...
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LTN 15 - Handling Aging
Love Thy Neighbor Show
• Introduction of Love Thy Neighbor and Colette Fair as recurring relationship expert • Casual emotional check-in with Colette and jokes about free advice and “private” episodes • Shift to self-esteem, confidence, and how aging impacts desirability • Aging anxiety framed as more intense for women and tied to social pressure • Fear of no longer being attractive to a partner despite reassurance • Difference between venting emotions and partners trying to “fix” feelings • Logical acceptance of aging versus emotional resistance • Dermatologist visit and Botox history...
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LTN 14 - Purpose Anxiety
Love Thy Neighbor Show
• Introduction of Love Thy Neighbor with relationship therapist Colette Fair • Colette managing stress while preparing for The Cost of Quiet book launch • Announcement of The Cost of Quiet launch event at Maitland Mercedes-Benz • Event details: date, time, location, ticket includes a copy of the book • Framing the launch as both a book release and a community gathering • Loneliness discussed as a widespread modern issue • Feeling lonely even within families and long-term relationships • Humor about hiding in the bathroom for quiet time • Phones and constant distraction...
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LTN 13 - 20Thousand Dollar Day
Love Thy Neighbor Show
• Love Thy Neighbor introduced as a relationship show focused on growth • Financial stress framed with humor about offering creative services • New year positioned as a moment for relationship reflection, not reinvention • Focus on small, attainable changes over drastic relationship overhauls • Comparison between extreme diet resolutions and unrealistic relationship goals • Small, consistent actions compounding over time • All-or-nothing resolutions setting people up for failure • Behavior change compared to habit-building and voting • New year not magically changing real...
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LTN 12 - You Can Stay Home
Love Thy Neighbor Show
• Debate over repeating the show title and old-school radio presentation • Traditional radio habits versus modern podcast structure • Adjusting how hosts and guests are introduced on-air • Colette’s media tour to Atlanta, Washington D.C., and Phoenix/Scottsdale • Delayed release of holiday-related media segments • Balancing work travel with mother–daughter time • Family relocation from New York to California and reduced closeness • Ease of travel between Florida and New York influencing migration • Jokes about people “invading” Florida • Media stereotypes about...
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LTN 11 - Communicate
Love Thy Neighbor Show
• Holiday stress, polarized feelings, and relationship strain • Simplifying expectations and focusing on connection • Intentional family time and low-effort activities like games and puzzles • Screen overstimulation making simple activities feel boring • Relearning enjoyment away from devices • Emotional lift after spending real time with family • Effort required to engage in shared activities • Easy entry games and “adult parallel play” options like pottery, climbing, walking • Bonding without constant conversation; Florida weather enabling outdoor time • Casual family...
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LTN 10 - The Gray-Divorce
Love Thy Neighbor Show
• Low-effort vs. high-effort Thanksgiving experiences • Colette’s relaxed holiday without her kids • Daniel’s stressful Thanksgiving towing multiple vehicles • Different family traditions and conflicting holiday desires • Two opposing feelings about an experience both being valid • Giants’ struggles, game mishaps, and kicker issues • Annoyance at Kansas City’s continued success and Cowboys rivalry • Social media comparison culture affecting relationships • Pressure from idealized online portrayals vs. real life • Comparison in the past (holiday cards) vs. constant...
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LTN 9 - The Bird Theory
Love Thy Neighbor Show
• Audience enjoying the relationship show • Reminder to leave reviews on Apple Podcasts and Spotify • More relationship content appearing in social media feeds • Noting that consuming relationship content can boost awareness • Contrast between relationship-focused and random algorithm feeds • Brief joke about Hezbollah/Hezzy and Mike Tyson’s age confusion • Introduction of the online “Bird Theory” test • Example of a staged bird video illustrating the concept • Gottman’s “bids for connection” explained • Turning toward bids linked to long-term satisfaction •...
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LTN 8 - Cutoffs
Love Thy Neighbor Show
• Live launch of “A Corporate Time with Tom and Dan” on Twitch and YouTube • Promotion of free Bad at Business Beerfest (Nov 22) and Sofas and Suds couch races (Nov 23) in Sanford • Both events are free, family-friendly, and include unlimited beer samples for 21+ • “Weird Job Wednesday” debuts with guest Amy Kaufeldt from Fox 35 • Amy shares her childhood dream of spaceflight and how the Challenger disaster changed her goals • Found passion for writing, studied journalism at Miami University of Ohio • Early unpaid radio work at NPR station WMUB; enjoyed radio’s relaxed...
info_outline• Debate over repeating the show title and old-school radio presentation
• Traditional radio habits versus modern podcast structure
• Adjusting how hosts and guests are introduced on-air
• Colette’s media tour to Atlanta, Washington D.C., and Phoenix/Scottsdale
• Delayed release of holiday-related media segments
• Balancing work travel with mother–daughter time
• Family relocation from New York to California and reduced closeness
• Ease of travel between Florida and New York influencing migration
• Jokes about people “invading” Florida
• Media stereotypes about Florida and Floridians
• Comedians mocking Florida while wanting to live there
• Upsides of Florida living: weather, space, beaches, lifestyle
• Downsides of Florida: extreme heat and limited outdoor variety
• Comparisons to western states’ landscapes and activities
• Jokes about boring Florida walks and outdoor options
• Idea of recording the relationship show on a boat
• Humor about awkward optics, spouses present, and swampy scenery
• Wanting cold weather for the holidays versus reality of winter travel
• Experiences with extreme cold in northern cities
• Renewed appreciation for Florida after traveling
• Transition back to structured show segments and emails
• High volume of listener emails centered on Christmas stress
• Holidays as a peak stress period for relationships
• Family gatherings creating forced togetherness and emotional strain
• Pressure to appear happy during the holidays
• Financial stress tied to holiday expectations
• Listener email about December disrupting an otherwise stable relationship
• Conflict over hosting, decorating, and family obligations
• Tension between protecting a partner’s joy and personal boundaries
• Feeling forced or inauthentic during extended holiday plans
• Difficulty expressing negative feelings without “ruining” the holiday
• Resentment from hosting, travel, and family expectations
• Being told to suppress feelings and “put on a happy face”
• Feeling disallowed from expressing true emotions
• Codependency from suppressing personal needs
• Telling the truth about feelings without blaming a partner
• Communicating overwhelm and anxiety around obligations
• Framing conversations as discussion instead of refusal
• Using a 1–10 scale to gauge how much something matters to a partner
• Stretching for a partner when something truly matters to them
• Harm of minimizing personal emotional experiences
• Over-functioning by prioritizing others’ feelings over your own
• Joint decision-making based on both partners’ needs
• Accepting mismatched holiday enthusiasm
• Allowing someone to be the “Grinch” without forcing cheer
• Balancing authenticity with social responsibility
• Choosing whether to attend events versus attending with resentment
• Emotional self-regulation when choosing to participate
• Unequal labor when one partner drives holiday plans
• Transactional dynamics and “rewards” for participation
• Risks of trading needs for short-term peace
• Right to say no within marriage and family
• Saying no clearly and kindly without guilt
• Reframing boundaries as non-selfish self-care
• Accepting partner disappointment as part of maturity
• Saying no to prevent future resentment
• Pressure to fake happiness to keep peace
• Fear of being disliked or disappointing others
• Avoidance of conflict leading to resentment and distance
• Silence in relationships having long-term costs
• Advocating for personal wants and feelings
• Being explicit when a request is a real sacrifice
• Checking internally for resentment before agreeing
• Owning the choice when saying yes
• Not resenting a partner after choosing to participate
• Practicing boundary-setting as a learned skill
• Therapy helping break people-pleasing habits
• Listener email about gift-giving anxiety and conflict
• Overspending, guilt spirals, and pressure around gifts
• Gifts feeling tied to love, effort, and parenting
• Social pressure on women to perform love through perfect gifts
• Differentiating joyful giving from trapped giving
• Permission to scale back holiday effort
• Negative self-talk and self-criticism around holidays
• Accepting compliments and small boundaries
• Emotional versus logical views of Christmas meaning
• One partner not caring about receiving gifts
• Accepting gifts because giving matters to the giver
• Sharing wish lists to ease gift stress
• Avoiding unintentionally ruining someone’s joy in giving
• Difficulty choosing gifts for long-term partners
• Skepticism about “love languages” as science
• Preference for quality time over material gifts
• Critique of conspicuous consumption
• Encouraging experience-based gifts over objects
• Local experience gift ideas and planned dates
• Thoughtfulness as feeling seen, not price-driven
• Last-minute gift panic leading to poor choices
• Mutual decisions to skip gifts in favor of travel
• Pattern of saying “no gifts” but still feeling pressure
• Choosing shared experiences like trips over presents
• Listener email about opting out of family Christmas gatherings
• Choosing peace and rest over obligation
• Feeling judged by family for not attending
• Courage required to set holiday boundaries
• Expecting pushback when breaking traditions
• Relief and joy after changing stressful traditions
• Being labeled the “bad guy” for choosing rest
• Accepting others’ anger to stay true to yourself
• Establishing new traditions after initial discomfort
• Long-term relief once new norms are set
• Family systems eventually adjusting to boundaries
• Accepting that you can’t make everyone happy
• Permission to say “I can’t do it this year” without justification
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