LTN 17 - Levels Of Dependence
Love Thy Neighbor Show
Love Thy Neighbor relationship show intro Colette Jane Fair as therapist co-host Colette Jane Fair book promotion and name spelling Easier book access at thecostofquiet.com Jokes about bad spelling and confidence Florida cold weather shock and routines Comedy song about being too cold Comparing Florida cold snaps to northern winters Liking New York but not winter weather Extreme Florida temp swings vs gradual cold Relationship awareness from doing the show Relationship content as emotional homework Keeping relationships top of mind Social media pushing relationship...
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LTN 16 - The Power of Self Talk
Love Thy Neighbor Show
* Love Thy Neighbor intro with Colette Fair and sold out book party in Maitland * Middle names used on air * Dan originally named Dan Lee before radio * Name came from college musician friend * Dan hated Dan Lee and changed it * Joke about Daniel Day Lewis * Colette knowing little about the hosts * Bear suit embarrassment story * Sudden shift from jokes to tragedy * Local therapist murder suicide case * Therapist client boundary risks * Story appearing in social feeds * Avoiding news for mental health * Garbage in garbage out media rule * Balance between news and sanity * After hours therapy...
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LTN 15 - Handling Aging
Love Thy Neighbor Show
• Introduction of Love Thy Neighbor and Colette Fair as recurring relationship expert • Casual emotional check-in with Colette and jokes about free advice and “private” episodes • Shift to self-esteem, confidence, and how aging impacts desirability • Aging anxiety framed as more intense for women and tied to social pressure • Fear of no longer being attractive to a partner despite reassurance • Difference between venting emotions and partners trying to “fix” feelings • Logical acceptance of aging versus emotional resistance • Dermatologist visit and Botox history...
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LTN 14 - Purpose Anxiety
Love Thy Neighbor Show
• Introduction of Love Thy Neighbor with relationship therapist Colette Fair • Colette managing stress while preparing for The Cost of Quiet book launch • Announcement of The Cost of Quiet launch event at Maitland Mercedes-Benz • Event details: date, time, location, ticket includes a copy of the book • Framing the launch as both a book release and a community gathering • Loneliness discussed as a widespread modern issue • Feeling lonely even within families and long-term relationships • Humor about hiding in the bathroom for quiet time • Phones and constant distraction...
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LTN 13 - 20Thousand Dollar Day
Love Thy Neighbor Show
• Love Thy Neighbor introduced as a relationship show focused on growth • Financial stress framed with humor about offering creative services • New year positioned as a moment for relationship reflection, not reinvention • Focus on small, attainable changes over drastic relationship overhauls • Comparison between extreme diet resolutions and unrealistic relationship goals • Small, consistent actions compounding over time • All-or-nothing resolutions setting people up for failure • Behavior change compared to habit-building and voting • New year not magically changing real...
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LTN 12 - You Can Stay Home
Love Thy Neighbor Show
• Debate over repeating the show title and old-school radio presentation • Traditional radio habits versus modern podcast structure • Adjusting how hosts and guests are introduced on-air • Colette’s media tour to Atlanta, Washington D.C., and Phoenix/Scottsdale • Delayed release of holiday-related media segments • Balancing work travel with mother–daughter time • Family relocation from New York to California and reduced closeness • Ease of travel between Florida and New York influencing migration • Jokes about people “invading” Florida • Media stereotypes about...
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LTN 11 - Communicate
Love Thy Neighbor Show
• Holiday stress, polarized feelings, and relationship strain • Simplifying expectations and focusing on connection • Intentional family time and low-effort activities like games and puzzles • Screen overstimulation making simple activities feel boring • Relearning enjoyment away from devices • Emotional lift after spending real time with family • Effort required to engage in shared activities • Easy entry games and “adult parallel play” options like pottery, climbing, walking • Bonding without constant conversation; Florida weather enabling outdoor time • Casual family...
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LTN 10 - The Gray-Divorce
Love Thy Neighbor Show
• Low-effort vs. high-effort Thanksgiving experiences • Colette’s relaxed holiday without her kids • Daniel’s stressful Thanksgiving towing multiple vehicles • Different family traditions and conflicting holiday desires • Two opposing feelings about an experience both being valid • Giants’ struggles, game mishaps, and kicker issues • Annoyance at Kansas City’s continued success and Cowboys rivalry • Social media comparison culture affecting relationships • Pressure from idealized online portrayals vs. real life • Comparison in the past (holiday cards) vs. constant...
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LTN 9 - The Bird Theory
Love Thy Neighbor Show
• Audience enjoying the relationship show • Reminder to leave reviews on Apple Podcasts and Spotify • More relationship content appearing in social media feeds • Noting that consuming relationship content can boost awareness • Contrast between relationship-focused and random algorithm feeds • Brief joke about Hezbollah/Hezzy and Mike Tyson’s age confusion • Introduction of the online “Bird Theory” test • Example of a staged bird video illustrating the concept • Gottman’s “bids for connection” explained • Turning toward bids linked to long-term satisfaction •...
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LTN 8 - Cutoffs
Love Thy Neighbor Show
• Live launch of “A Corporate Time with Tom and Dan” on Twitch and YouTube • Promotion of free Bad at Business Beerfest (Nov 22) and Sofas and Suds couch races (Nov 23) in Sanford • Both events are free, family-friendly, and include unlimited beer samples for 21+ • “Weird Job Wednesday” debuts with guest Amy Kaufeldt from Fox 35 • Amy shares her childhood dream of spaceflight and how the Challenger disaster changed her goals • Found passion for writing, studied journalism at Miami University of Ohio • Early unpaid radio work at NPR station WMUB; enjoyed radio’s relaxed...
info_outline• Low-effort vs. high-effort Thanksgiving experiences
• Colette’s relaxed holiday without her kids
• Daniel’s stressful Thanksgiving towing multiple vehicles
• Different family traditions and conflicting holiday desires
• Two opposing feelings about an experience both being valid
• Giants’ struggles, game mishaps, and kicker issues
• Annoyance at Kansas City’s continued success and Cowboys rivalry
• Social media comparison culture affecting relationships
• Pressure from idealized online portrayals vs. real life
• Comparison in the past (holiday cards) vs. constant modern exposure
• Performative relationship presentation and couples divorcing despite appearing perfect
• “Gray divorce” trend among people 50+
• Rising gray-divorce rates while overall divorce rates fall
• Causes of gray divorce: growing apart, empty nest, long-term unhappiness
• Women initiating most divorces due to increased independence
• Less tolerance for unhealthy or abusive long-term relationships
• Women leaving disconnected marriages after decades of misery
• Some couples staying miserable for years
• Personal gratitude for having healthier parental models
• Possibility of fixing issues before reaching gray-divorce age
• Older couples’ grumpiness as an “act” rather than true misery
• Enmeshment, codependency, and low-grade unhappiness in long marriages
• Changing expectations around marriage and desire for deeper connection
• Settling vs. actively improving a relationship
• Negativity being easier than expressing affection
• Relationships needing intentional effort and kindness
• Debate of repairing a relationship vs. starting over
• Mutual effort, communication, vulnerability, and appreciation
• Recognizing when only one partner is doing the work
• Personal growth as the first step toward repairing issues
• Listener emails about empty-nester fears
• Encouraging open conversations about the transition
• Validating both excitement and fear as bonding opportunities
• Joke about having another baby and related risks
• Habitual lateness in friendships and dating
• Whether chronic lateness can change
• Lateness seen as inconsiderate and selfish
• Emotional impact of others being late
• Adults’ responsibility to respect others’ time
• Predictable lateness patterns and communicating boundaries
• Importance of notifying others when running late
• Lateness signaling someone’s time isn’t valued
• Anecdotes about partners who avoid being early
• Intent vs. impact in lateness
• Hurt caused by repeated lateness despite requests
• Deciding whether to keep making plans with late people
• Debate over giving slack vs. upholding values
• Being on time as a personal identity
• Using buffer time to stay punctual
• Setting boundaries around lateness
• Listener praise for the show
• Question about poetry in modern dating
• Party with an on-demand love-poem writer
• Gay social events with creative entertainment
• Fundraiser with themed performers in every room
• Gay friends throwing more elaborate parties
• Adults enjoying whimsical activities like face painting
• Decline of poetry in dating
• Nostalgia for romantic gestures like custom poems
• Writing poems or symbolic gifts as romance
• “Key to my heart” car-key gesture example
• Romantic vulnerability appreciated when interest is mutual
• Making a bound book of poems after divorce
• Embarrassment over past over-the-top gestures
• Feeling previous partners didn’t value romantic efforts
• Pulling back romantically after negative past experiences
• Romantic gestures fading in long relationships but still meaningful
• Listeners relating to giving up on effort after lack of appreciation
• Love languages shaping what gestures matter
• Suspicion of grand gestures when out of character
• Big gifts perceived as guilt
• Preference for small, thoughtful gestures
• Bringing home garden flowers as simple affection
• Tailoring gestures to the relationship
• Thoughtfulness mattering more than format
• Writing a poem for a partner after a parent’s death
• Partner framing the poem as a keepsake
• Dark humor in personal writing
• Acts of service like cleaning a partner’s car
• Love languages lacking scientific validation but still useful
• Balancing effort across work, parenting, marriage, and self-care
• Partner needs often neglected when overwhelmed
• “Quiet quitting” relationships through emotional neglect
• Disconnection leading to gray-divorce or roommate-style marriages
• Value of small daily acts of presence
• Five-minute check-ins to maintain connection
• Quality time over quantity
• Phones and mobile games interfering with relationships
• Avoiding relationship effort similar to avoiding exercise
• Small daily actions rebuilding habits and connection
• “No time” as an excuse; micro-commitments help
• Encouraging a few minutes of daily relational investment
• Homework: small daily effort toward connection
• Promotion of Colette’s upcoming book *The Cost of Quiet*
• Closing the show with plans to return next week