Love Thy Neighbor Show
Love Thy Neighbor is a straight-talk relationship show from Tom Vann, Dan Dennis, and licensed therapist Colette J. Fehr - born the day Colette knocked on their door and they realized they were literal next-door neighbors. Together, they bring 50 years of broadcasting (Dan 30, Tom 20) and 15 years of clinical counseling (Colette), plus real-life reps: Tom’s 20-year marriage, Dan’s 15-year marriage, and Colette’s second, thriving chapter. Expect humor, empathy, and practical advice from both sides of the wall. New episodes every Thursday, wherever you get your podcasts.
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LTN 16 - The Power of Self Talk
01/22/2026
LTN 16 - The Power of Self Talk
* Love Thy Neighbor intro with Colette Fair and sold out book party in Maitland * Middle names used on air * Dan originally named Dan Lee before radio * Name came from college musician friend * Dan hated Dan Lee and changed it * Joke about Daniel Day Lewis * Colette knowing little about the hosts * Bear suit embarrassment story * Sudden shift from jokes to tragedy * Local therapist murder suicide case * Therapist client boundary risks * Story appearing in social feeds * Avoiding news for mental health * Garbage in garbage out media rule * Balance between news and sanity * After hours therapy attack details * Former client returning violent * Victim therapist Rebecca White named * Praise for her compassion and work * Specialized in offender treatment * Hurt people hurt people idea * Rehab versus punishment debate * Attacker criminal history noted * Therapist asked intruder to leave * Other client threatened 911 * Therapist and client stabbed * Client expected to recover * Attacker fled then killed himself * Suicide outside a church * Knife violence against women focus * Therapist workplace safety concerns * Colette no longer working nights * Husband staying late for protection * Violence against women ongoing issue * Emotional toll on therapist community * Invited to Mayor Demings forum * Florida ranked 49th in funding * Criticism of state priorities * Florida crime headline jokes * Open records and sunshine laws * Population growth adding pressure * Call for more mental health access * Crazy goes south saying * Florida penal colony jokes * Aging jokes and sideburn talk * Teasing as closeness sign * Mental health spectrum discussion * Addiction and illness as major issues * Extreme cases versus everyday struggle * Middle group quietly suffering * Job loss divorce depression stress * Fixing middle improves outcomes * Burnout culture and nonstop work * Fake perfect life online * Social media unrealistic standards * Deepfakes harming kids * Tech damaging relationships * Transition to relationships talk * Drive affecting a spouse * Husband joking stay at home role * Calm personality praised * Four beers test of likability * Not threatened by partner success * Living with driven people hard * Being too hard on self * Inner critic negativity * Lighten up advice * Fear of laziness behind criticism * Childhood roots of self talk * Rest as productive reframed * Burnout and withdrawal * Kinder self dialogue * Self compassion helps relationships * Difficulty accepting kindness * Sports psychology model * Forget mistakes quickly * Neutral mindset example * NFL playoff psychology * Brady emotional detachment joke * Success versus family trade offs * Some born for singular greatness * Attraction to driven partners * Smart women mislabeled cold * Support for partner success * Book launch consuming life * Post launch emotional crash * Planning future goals * Anticipation improves happiness * Planning small trips together * Novelty strengthens attraction * Listener emails segment * Frozen camera double finger moment * Listener praise for joyful start * Married out of league joke * Relationship listeners theory * Even good relationships struggle * Anonymous email call * Long marriage listener story * Autistic executive function issues * Pebble in shoe story * Always accommodating partner dynamic * Get my way credit question * You cannot bank compliance points * Case by case decisions * Communicate why it matters * I dont care restaurant problem * Engagement versus checking out * No transactional relationships * Asking directly early * Avoid resentment arguments * Reframing I dont care language * Helping brainstorm choices * Colette book preorder plug * Book on Amazon and Barnes * Audiobook coming soon * Episode close and sign off ### Social Media [https://tomanddan.com](https://tomanddan.com) [https://twitter.com/tomanddanlive](https://twitter.com/tomanddanlive) [https://facebook.com/amediocretime](https://facebook.com/amediocretime) [https://instagram.com/tomanddanlive](https://instagram.com/tomanddanlive) Tom & Dan on Real Radio 104.1 Apple Podcasts: [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-corporate-time/id975258990](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-corporate-time/id975258990) Google Podcasts: [https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2Fjb3Jwb3JhdGV0aW1lL3BvZGNhc3QueG1s](https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2Fjb3Jwb3JhdGV0aW1lL3BvZGNhc3QueG1s) TuneIn: [https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Corporate-Time-p1038501/](https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Corporate-Time-p1038501/) Exclusive Content [https://tomanddan.com/registration](https://tomanddan.com/registration)
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LTN 15 - Handling Aging
01/15/2026
LTN 15 - Handling Aging
• Introduction of Love Thy Neighbor and Colette Fair as recurring relationship expert • Casual emotional check-in with Colette and jokes about free advice and “private” episodes • Shift to self-esteem, confidence, and how aging impacts desirability • Aging anxiety framed as more intense for women and tied to social pressure • Fear of no longer being attractive to a partner despite reassurance • Difference between venting emotions and partners trying to “fix” feelings • Logical acceptance of aging versus emotional resistance • Dermatologist visit and Botox history triggering aging realization • Shock of being presented with plastic surgery as a next step • Discomfort with crossing into an “old person” identity • Social media comments and viral posts amplifying insecurity • Double standard in how men vs women are judged for aging • Media careers creating stronger appearance pressure for women • Men aging seen as gaining credibility while women lose it • Question of accepting aging versus cosmetic intervention • Aging framed as a personal relationship with oneself • Importance of self-approval over external validation • Belief that long-term partner attraction is relatively stable • Discussion of younger men dating older women • Attraction framed as confidence, intelligence, presence, and power • MILF/older-woman attraction discussed with humor • Confidence repeatedly identified as the most attractive trait • Increased self-scrutiny from frequent media appearances • Anxiety distorting self-perception while others don’t notice changes • Partners often indifferent to appearance fluctuations • Tension between preaching acceptance and living it • Men’s aging insecurity expressed through health and career • Hip replacement and medical procedures as aging milestones • Humor used to cope with vulnerability • Fear of drastic cosmetic changes; openness to subtle intervention • Social media filters and celebrity comparisons warping standards • Celebrities’ resources creating unrealistic comparisons • Pamela Anderson cited for embracing no-makeup aging • Cultural discomfort with women aging publicly • Confidence reframed as more attractive than perfection • Shift to divorce and Annie Duke’s Quit concept • Challenging “never quit” messaging in marriage • Quitting sometimes healthier than staying • Therapist as guide, not decision-maker • No one-size-fits-all relationship advice • Acceptance that either staying or leaving can turn out okay • Emotional difficulty accepting uncertainty • Rejection of soulmate mythology; marriage as ongoing choices • Critique of praising endurance as moral superiority • Amicable divorce reframed as not a failure • Harm to kids tied to conflict, not divorce itself • Social stigma and pressure keeping people stuck • Listener email about praising a spouse publicly • Genuine vs performative appreciation discussed • Wife’s follow-up email praising consistent effort over decades • Takeaway: small, consistent actions matter more than grand gestures • Relationship compared to a tire that needs regular “air” • Daily or weekly intentional connection suggested • “Bids for connection” like watching a partner’s shows • Choosing partner needs over personal comfort builds closeness • Core self-check: are you doing what matters to your partner? • Promotion of Colette’s book launch, The Cost of Quiet • Event details: Thursday the 29th, 5:30–7:30 PM, Maitland Mercedes-Benz • Live podcast, food, drinks, community vibe, limited tickets • Book theme: avoiding hard conversations damages relationships • Growth framed as choosing hard effort over easy avoidance • Closing remarks and sign-off ### Social Media Where to Find the Show – A Mediocre Time Apple Podcasts Google Podcasts Exclusive Content Merch
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LTN 14 - Purpose Anxiety
01/08/2026
LTN 14 - Purpose Anxiety
• Introduction of Love Thy Neighbor with relationship therapist Colette Fair • Colette managing stress while preparing for The Cost of Quiet book launch • Announcement of The Cost of Quiet launch event at Maitland Mercedes-Benz • Event details: date, time, location, ticket includes a copy of the book • Framing the launch as both a book release and a community gathering • Loneliness discussed as a widespread modern issue • Feeling lonely even within families and long-term relationships • Humor about hiding in the bathroom for quiet time • Phones and constant distraction worsening disconnection • Live podcast recording planned at the launch event • Meet-and-greet with hosts and attendees • Food, drinks, and relaxed, low-pressure atmosphere emphasized • Event positioned as an easy entry point to relationship work • Participation from local therapists and community voices • Focus on improving connection and reducing loneliness • Communication breakdowns linked to phones and social media • Ticket info shared via website, show notes, and live chat • Giveaway of 10 free tickets with email entry instructions • Encouragement for longtime listeners and newcomers alike • Listener email praising the show and a long, happy marriage • Discussion of attraction and intimacy growing over time • Question of whether partners value being praised publicly • Importance of expressing appreciation beyond generic compliments • Hosts affirm appreciation as rare and essential for relationship health • Daily emotional check-ins encouraged over routine small talk • Using specific appreciation during check-ins • Small household efforts as meaningful signs of care • Feeling “seen” through acknowledgment of little things • Research showing many positives needed to outweigh negatives • Couples overfocusing on complaints under stress • Balancing grievances with gratitude and affirmation • Limits of love languages and pressure to self-label • Most people still enjoying praise even if they claim otherwise • Compliments about effort, attraction, and appearance matter • Men and women both valuing being told they look good • Compliments boosting confidence in partners and children • Kids learning affirmation through modeled behavior • Discussion of whether too much praise can feel smothering • Difference between healthy appreciation and unhealthy overdoing it • Encouragement to ask partners how they prefer to feel loved • Public praise versus private appreciation preferences • Teasing and joking as long-term bonding dynamics • Humor, hazing, and exaggeration as signs of emotional security • Reinforcing that genuine appreciation is usually welcomed • Introduction of purpose anxiety and pressure to “find your purpose” • Reframing purpose as small, evolving, and practical • Careers often developing without a clear master plan • Feeling trapped in unfulfilling work contributing to loneliness • Advice to seek small joys instead of drastic life changes • Accepting that even meaningful work still includes stress • Finding meaning outside of work when necessary • Hobbies and side interests potentially growing into fulfillment • Parenting parallels about finding positives in disliked activities • Ballet discipline example showing delayed appreciation • Love languages explained as tools, not science • Overview of quality time, acts of service, touch, words, and gifts • Emphasis on asking directly what makes a partner feel loved • Alone time recognized as a valid emotional need • Mental load carried by women in families highlighted • Importance of noticing invisible planning and emotional labor • Encouraging proactive support rather than assumptions • Transition to dating after divorce in your 40s • Anxiety about modern dating norms and apps • Dating apps described as discouraging and dehumanizing • Encouragement toward low-pressure, in-person dates • Digital chemistry often failing to translate in real life • Normalizing awkwardness when reentering dating • Rebuilding social confidence through friendships • Reassurance that kind, stable partners are in demand • Emphasis on human need for real connection over technology • Invitation to the book launch as a social, organic meet opportunity • Reminder of free ticket giveaway and confirmation process • Lighthearted humor, optimism, and closing thanks ### Social Media [https://tomanddan.com](https://tomanddan.com) [https://twitter.com/tomanddanlive](https://twitter.com/tomanddanlive) [https://facebook.com/amediocretime](https://facebook.com/amediocretime) [https://instagram.com/tomanddanlive](https://instagram.com/tomanddanlive) Where to Find the Show – A Mediocre Time Apple Podcasts [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-mediocre-time/id334142682](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-mediocre-time/id334142682) Google Podcasts [https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2FtZWRpb2NyZXRpbWUvcG9kY2FzdC54bWw](https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2FtZWRpb2NyZXRpbWUvcG9kY2FzdC54bWw) Exclusive Content [https://tomanddan.com/registration](https://tomanddan.com/registration) Merch [https://tomanddan.myshopify.com/](https://tomanddan.myshopify.com/)
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LTN 13 - 20Thousand Dollar Day
12/25/2025
LTN 13 - 20Thousand Dollar Day
• Love Thy Neighbor introduced as a relationship show focused on growth • Financial stress framed with humor about offering creative services • New year positioned as a moment for relationship reflection, not reinvention • Focus on small, attainable changes over drastic relationship overhauls • Comparison between extreme diet resolutions and unrealistic relationship goals • Small, consistent actions compounding over time • All-or-nothing resolutions setting people up for failure • Behavior change compared to habit-building and voting • New year not magically changing real life circumstances • Couples feeling stuck in familiar routines • Encouragement to carve out a few focused minutes daily for connection • Disconnection driven by exhaustion, work pressure, finances, and parenting • Numbing out with phones and screens instead of connecting • Daily ritual of sharing emotions, appreciation, and struggles • Naming emotions as a tool for deeper connection • Research showing many positives are needed to offset negatives • Quality of time valued over quantity • Sharing inner experiences reducing mind-reading and guessing • Importance of routine and consistency in relationship habits • Couples compared to distracted roommates orbiting each other • Need to reserve energy specifically for the relationship • Weekly small gestures like notes or tokens of care • Using reminders and pre-planning to support follow-through • Treating relationship effort like scheduled work • Humor about effort tied to desired outcomes • Tension between authentic connection and transactional gestures • Gestures lacking emotional presence not landing • Relationship growth compared to fitness results over time • Question of how to measure relationship progress • Difference between real effort and going through the motions • Gestures needing to match what matters to a specific partner • Differences in love languages and meaning • Preference for emotional openness over physical tokens for some • Compliments and physical affection as impactful gestures • Reminders to show affection not inherently fake • Warning against replacing communication with gestures • Encouragement to share emotionally even when uncomfortable • Surface gestures compared to shortcuts versus deeper work • Presence and emotional connection emphasized as core tools • Teasing acknowledgment of personal blind spots • Preparing mentally and physically for a second hip replacement • Cutting out alcohol ahead of surgery for health • Alcohol used as an unhealthy coping tool for anxiety • Distinction between casual drinking and substance use disorder • Lower threshold for substance misuse than assumed • Alcohol described as a neurotoxin with no safe level • Cultural shift away from alcohol and toward alternatives • Need to replace alcohol with healthier coping strategies • Short-term relief versus long-term harm from drinking • Personal experience of intense but fleeting relief from alcohol • Pattern of diminishing returns from drinking • Drinking framed as human but flawed coping • Anxiety-driven drinking during stressful events • Introduction of mindfulness as an alternative • Mindfulness defined as present awareness without judgment • Short practices still offering benefits • Mindfulness as accessible, low-effort support • Ongoing struggle despite long-term practice • Emphasis on honesty when discussing coping • Resistance to meditation due to restlessness • Gradual improvement coping without substances • Mention of mindfulness and meditation apps • Pairing mindfulness with journaling • Skepticism toward prescribed self-help routines • Research supporting gratitude practices • Gratitude linked to mood, longevity, and reduced anxiety • Structured tools making gratitude easier • Spoken gratitude as an alternative to writing • Simple practice of naming three good things • Gratitude countering negativity bias • Clarifying gratitude is not toxic positivity • Difficulty sustaining gratitude habits • Teaching gratitude to children • Kids defaulting to repetitive gratitude answers • Gratitude through future perspective-taking • Imagining paying to relive ordinary days • Reframing everyday life as valuable from the future • Gratitude tied to aging, loss, and impermanence • “$20,000 day” mindset for appreciating the present • Holding hardship and gratitude at the same time • Reframing daily inconveniences as meaningful moments • Joy found by noticing good amid stress • Viktor Frankl and meaning through suffering • Meaning and kindness even in extreme hardship • Mental stability through intentional awareness • Regret over not appreciating health and family sooner • Alcohol falsely creating a sense of slowed time • Gratitude mimicking that effect in a healthier way • Writing reinforcing memory and presence • Gratitude creating longer-lasting emotional boosts than alcohol • Learning appreciation without substances • Mindfulness and gratitude as trainable skills • Guilt around slowing down • Cultural pressure toward constant productivity • Life feeling like something to get through • Stress from always focusing on what’s next • Chronic busyness driving mental overload • Value of micro-doses of mindfulness and gratitude • Small efforts producing real benefits • Breathing and presence as efficient investments • Practices improving through repetition • Mindfulness compared to religious prayer • Prayer framed as structured reflection and gratitude • Psychological reasons for religion’s durability • Step-by-step explanation request for the $20,000 day idea • Using memories of children’s early years for perspective • Recognizing mundane days as valuable in hindsight • Assigning value to ordinary life moments • Viewing today as a future memory worth protecting • Perspective shifts as a gratitude tool • Applying the idea to career stress and milestones • Pressure-filled moments reframed as achievements • Gratitude rooted in perspective, not denial • Positive feedback reinforcing emotional openness • Difficulty receiving compliments • Preference for perspective-based gratitude methods • Different gratitude approaches working for different people • Reminder that today’s stress may be tomorrow’s memory • Mortality clarifying what matters • Acknowledging illness while valuing being alive • Baseline gratitude for existence • Risk of gratitude invalidating pain when imposed • Letting people arrive at gratitude on their own • Distinguishing validation from minimizing pain • All pain treated as valid • Gratitude framed as internal, not corrective • Small, imperfect efforts still matter • Progress not requiring perfection • Car rides as built-in reflection time • Associating driving with appreciation for family • Kids remembering ordinary moments over big trips • Emotional realization about everyday presence • Humor about what kids will remember • Reflection on smoking as a past coping tool • Normalization of cigarettes in childhood • Substances framed as emotional crutches • Reduced need for crutches with healthier habits • Simple, repeatable habits replacing unhealthy coping • Personal growth indirectly improving relationships • Promotion of a book on difficult conversations and secure love • Applying relationship skills inward • Book release date and preorder announcement • Invitation to live book launch event • Live podcast recording and in-person interaction • Event location and venue details • Episode wrap-up and closing ###
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LTN 12 - You Can Stay Home
12/18/2025
LTN 12 - You Can Stay Home
• Debate over repeating the show title and old-school radio presentation • Traditional radio habits versus modern podcast structure • Adjusting how hosts and guests are introduced on-air • Colette’s media tour to Atlanta, Washington D.C., and Phoenix/Scottsdale • Delayed release of holiday-related media segments • Balancing work travel with mother–daughter time • Family relocation from New York to California and reduced closeness • Ease of travel between Florida and New York influencing migration • Jokes about people “invading” Florida • Media stereotypes about Florida and Floridians • Comedians mocking Florida while wanting to live there • Upsides of Florida living: weather, space, beaches, lifestyle • Downsides of Florida: extreme heat and limited outdoor variety • Comparisons to western states’ landscapes and activities • Jokes about boring Florida walks and outdoor options • Idea of recording the relationship show on a boat • Humor about awkward optics, spouses present, and swampy scenery • Wanting cold weather for the holidays versus reality of winter travel • Experiences with extreme cold in northern cities • Renewed appreciation for Florida after traveling • Transition back to structured show segments and emails • High volume of listener emails centered on Christmas stress • Holidays as a peak stress period for relationships • Family gatherings creating forced togetherness and emotional strain • Pressure to appear happy during the holidays • Financial stress tied to holiday expectations • Listener email about December disrupting an otherwise stable relationship • Conflict over hosting, decorating, and family obligations • Tension between protecting a partner’s joy and personal boundaries • Feeling forced or inauthentic during extended holiday plans • Difficulty expressing negative feelings without “ruining” the holiday • Resentment from hosting, travel, and family expectations • Being told to suppress feelings and “put on a happy face” • Feeling disallowed from expressing true emotions • Codependency from suppressing personal needs • Telling the truth about feelings without blaming a partner • Communicating overwhelm and anxiety around obligations • Framing conversations as discussion instead of refusal • Using a 1–10 scale to gauge how much something matters to a partner • Stretching for a partner when something truly matters to them • Harm of minimizing personal emotional experiences • Over-functioning by prioritizing others’ feelings over your own • Joint decision-making based on both partners’ needs • Accepting mismatched holiday enthusiasm • Allowing someone to be the “Grinch” without forcing cheer • Balancing authenticity with social responsibility • Choosing whether to attend events versus attending with resentment • Emotional self-regulation when choosing to participate • Unequal labor when one partner drives holiday plans • Transactional dynamics and “rewards” for participation • Risks of trading needs for short-term peace • Right to say no within marriage and family • Saying no clearly and kindly without guilt • Reframing boundaries as non-selfish self-care • Accepting partner disappointment as part of maturity • Saying no to prevent future resentment • Pressure to fake happiness to keep peace • Fear of being disliked or disappointing others • Avoidance of conflict leading to resentment and distance • Silence in relationships having long-term costs • Advocating for personal wants and feelings • Being explicit when a request is a real sacrifice • Checking internally for resentment before agreeing • Owning the choice when saying yes • Not resenting a partner after choosing to participate • Practicing boundary-setting as a learned skill • Therapy helping break people-pleasing habits • Listener email about gift-giving anxiety and conflict • Overspending, guilt spirals, and pressure around gifts • Gifts feeling tied to love, effort, and parenting • Social pressure on women to perform love through perfect gifts • Differentiating joyful giving from trapped giving • Permission to scale back holiday effort • Negative self-talk and self-criticism around holidays • Accepting compliments and small boundaries • Emotional versus logical views of Christmas meaning • One partner not caring about receiving gifts • Accepting gifts because giving matters to the giver • Sharing wish lists to ease gift stress • Avoiding unintentionally ruining someone’s joy in giving • Difficulty choosing gifts for long-term partners • Skepticism about “love languages” as science • Preference for quality time over material gifts • Critique of conspicuous consumption • Encouraging experience-based gifts over objects • Local experience gift ideas and planned dates • Thoughtfulness as feeling seen, not price-driven • Last-minute gift panic leading to poor choices • Mutual decisions to skip gifts in favor of travel • Pattern of saying “no gifts” but still feeling pressure • Choosing shared experiences like trips over presents • Listener email about opting out of family Christmas gatherings • Choosing peace and rest over obligation • Feeling judged by family for not attending • Courage required to set holiday boundaries • Expecting pushback when breaking traditions • Relief and joy after changing stressful traditions • Being labeled the “bad guy” for choosing rest • Accepting others’ anger to stay true to yourself • Establishing new traditions after initial discomfort • Long-term relief once new norms are set • Family systems eventually adjusting to boundaries • Accepting that you can’t make everyone happy • Permission to say “I can’t do it this year” without justification ### • Social Media: https://tomanddan.com | https://twitter.com/tomanddanlive | https://facebook.com/amediocretime | https://instagram.com/tomanddanlive
• Where to Find the Show: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-mediocre-time/id334142682 | https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2FtZWRpb2NyZXRpbWUvcG9kY2FzdC54bWw | https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Mediocre-Time-p364156/
• Tom & Dan on Real Radio 104.1: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-corporate-time/id975258990 | https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2Fjb3Jwb3JhdGV0aW1lL3BvZGNhc3QueG1s | https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Corporate-Time-p1038501/
• Exclusive Content: https://tomanddan.com/registration
• Merch: https://tomanddan.myshopify.com/
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LTN 11 - Communicate
12/11/2025
LTN 11 - Communicate
• Holiday stress, polarized feelings, and relationship strain • Simplifying expectations and focusing on connection • Intentional family time and low-effort activities like games and puzzles • Screen overstimulation making simple activities feel boring • Relearning enjoyment away from devices • Emotional lift after spending real time with family • Effort required to engage in shared activities • Easy entry games and “adult parallel play” options like pottery, climbing, walking • Bonding without constant conversation; Florida weather enabling outdoor time • Casual family outings like parks, markets, and food halls • Scheduling pauses to avoid being consumed by chores • Rejecting holiday perfectionism in favor of meaningful moments • Memories shaped by shared experiences, not tasks • Traditions like driving to see Christmas lights; nostalgia for older displays • Local light events as simple holiday fun • Reducing pressure with easier meal choices and clearer communication • Asking guests what they want to talk about to spark genuine conversations • Choosing activities people actually want, honoring diverse traditions • Traveling for family obligations and maintaining positive ties with ex-in-laws • Modeling healthy relationships and blended family dynamics for kids • Showing kids that emotional expression is normal and healthy • Challenging traditional male conditioning around emotions • Using communication tools to balance expression with appropriate containment • Pausing to regulate emotions and “measure” their priority • Validating feelings as signals about needs • Exploring emotions with curiosity instead of fear • Humor and gambling used as contrasts for emotional decision-making • Childhood lack of control shaping adult emotional habits • Fear of being overwhelmed by emotions; learning they subside when felt • Many adults never learned safe emotional expression • Vulnerability deepening connection • Admitting stress in professional settings to create honesty • Using exaggerated emotion manipulatively in negotiations • Joke about trying to “mold” a partner rather than treating them as equal • Holiday romance movies creating unrealistic expectations • “Emotional pornography” and other idealized social-media extremes • Social comparison damaging self-worth • Listener email tease: feeling treated like a child instead of a teammate • Feeling infantilized by constant correction and nitpicking • Addressing issues individually with calm “I feel” statements • Partners often unaware they sound critical until told gently • Vulnerability inviting empathy and appreciation • Workplace analogy: problems persist without direct communication • Fear-driven assumptions blocking honest expression of needs • Wizard of Oz analogy: solutions simpler when people communicate • Clear, kind communication resolving issues more than expected • Promotion for The Cost of Quiet, including pre-orders, audiobook, VIP launch, and live podcast details ### • Social Media: https://tomanddan.com | https://twitter.com/tomanddanlive | https://facebook.com/amediocretime | https://instagram.com/tomanddanlive
• Where to Find the Show: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-mediocre-time/id334142682 | https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2FtZWRpb2NyZXRpbWUvcG9kY2FzdC54bWw | https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Mediocre-Time-p364156/
• Tom & Dan on Real Radio 104.1: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-corporate-time/id975258990 | https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2Fjb3Jwb3JhdGV0aW1lL3BvZGNhc3QueG1s | https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Corporate-Time-p1038501/
• Exclusive Content: https://tomanddan.com/registration
• Merch: https://tomanddan.myshopify.com/
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LTN 10 - The Gray-Divorce
12/04/2025
LTN 10 - The Gray-Divorce
• Low-effort vs. high-effort Thanksgiving experiences • Colette’s relaxed holiday without her kids • Daniel’s stressful Thanksgiving towing multiple vehicles • Different family traditions and conflicting holiday desires • Two opposing feelings about an experience both being valid • Giants’ struggles, game mishaps, and kicker issues • Annoyance at Kansas City’s continued success and Cowboys rivalry • Social media comparison culture affecting relationships • Pressure from idealized online portrayals vs. real life • Comparison in the past (holiday cards) vs. constant modern exposure • Performative relationship presentation and couples divorcing despite appearing perfect • “Gray divorce” trend among people 50+ • Rising gray-divorce rates while overall divorce rates fall • Causes of gray divorce: growing apart, empty nest, long-term unhappiness • Women initiating most divorces due to increased independence • Less tolerance for unhealthy or abusive long-term relationships • Women leaving disconnected marriages after decades of misery • Some couples staying miserable for years • Personal gratitude for having healthier parental models • Possibility of fixing issues before reaching gray-divorce age • Older couples’ grumpiness as an “act” rather than true misery • Enmeshment, codependency, and low-grade unhappiness in long marriages • Changing expectations around marriage and desire for deeper connection • Settling vs. actively improving a relationship • Negativity being easier than expressing affection • Relationships needing intentional effort and kindness • Debate of repairing a relationship vs. starting over • Mutual effort, communication, vulnerability, and appreciation • Recognizing when only one partner is doing the work • Personal growth as the first step toward repairing issues • Listener emails about empty-nester fears • Encouraging open conversations about the transition • Validating both excitement and fear as bonding opportunities • Joke about having another baby and related risks • Habitual lateness in friendships and dating • Whether chronic lateness can change • Lateness seen as inconsiderate and selfish • Emotional impact of others being late • Adults’ responsibility to respect others’ time • Predictable lateness patterns and communicating boundaries • Importance of notifying others when running late • Lateness signaling someone’s time isn’t valued • Anecdotes about partners who avoid being early • Intent vs. impact in lateness • Hurt caused by repeated lateness despite requests • Deciding whether to keep making plans with late people • Debate over giving slack vs. upholding values • Being on time as a personal identity • Using buffer time to stay punctual • Setting boundaries around lateness • Listener praise for the show • Question about poetry in modern dating • Party with an on-demand love-poem writer • Gay social events with creative entertainment • Fundraiser with themed performers in every room • Gay friends throwing more elaborate parties • Adults enjoying whimsical activities like face painting • Decline of poetry in dating • Nostalgia for romantic gestures like custom poems • Writing poems or symbolic gifts as romance • “Key to my heart” car-key gesture example • Romantic vulnerability appreciated when interest is mutual • Making a bound book of poems after divorce • Embarrassment over past over-the-top gestures • Feeling previous partners didn’t value romantic efforts • Pulling back romantically after negative past experiences • Romantic gestures fading in long relationships but still meaningful • Listeners relating to giving up on effort after lack of appreciation • Love languages shaping what gestures matter • Suspicion of grand gestures when out of character • Big gifts perceived as guilt • Preference for small, thoughtful gestures • Bringing home garden flowers as simple affection • Tailoring gestures to the relationship • Thoughtfulness mattering more than format • Writing a poem for a partner after a parent’s death • Partner framing the poem as a keepsake • Dark humor in personal writing • Acts of service like cleaning a partner’s car • Love languages lacking scientific validation but still useful • Balancing effort across work, parenting, marriage, and self-care • Partner needs often neglected when overwhelmed • “Quiet quitting” relationships through emotional neglect • Disconnection leading to gray-divorce or roommate-style marriages • Value of small daily acts of presence • Five-minute check-ins to maintain connection • Quality time over quantity • Phones and mobile games interfering with relationships • Avoiding relationship effort similar to avoiding exercise • Small daily actions rebuilding habits and connection • “No time” as an excuse; micro-commitments help • Encouraging a few minutes of daily relational investment • Homework: small daily effort toward connection • Promotion of Colette’s upcoming book *The Cost of Quiet* • Closing the show with plans to return next week
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LTN 9 - The Bird Theory
11/20/2025
LTN 9 - The Bird Theory
• Audience enjoying the relationship show • Reminder to leave reviews on Apple Podcasts and Spotify • More relationship content appearing in social media feeds • Noting that consuming relationship content can boost awareness • Contrast between relationship-focused and random algorithm feeds • Brief joke about Hezbollah/Hezzy and Mike Tyson’s age confusion • Introduction of the online “Bird Theory” test • Example of a staged bird video illustrating the concept • Gottman’s “bids for connection” explained • Turning toward bids linked to long-term satisfaction • Bids are small attempts to connect, not about literal topics • Importance of responding even when uninterested • Ping-pong analogy for communication • Sharing memes, sports, or small moments as valid bids • Ignoring bids due to distraction or overload • Emotional harm from consistently missed bids • Healthy couples turn toward bids about 86% of the time • Harmful dismissive responses highlighted • Context affecting how humor or timing lands • Supporting a partner’s unrelated interests • Overwhelming feeling of family members sending constant bids • Fear of hurting loved ones by not responding • Parent-child responsiveness applied to spouses • Spouses feeling de-prioritized next to children • Challenges in blended families and differing loyalties • Listener email expressing gratitude for the show • Joke about putting the show behind a paywall • Introduction of “retroactive jealousy” question • Retroactive jealousy defined as fixation on a partner’s past • Normalizing jealousy but focusing on how it’s handled • Rumination triggered by hearing about an ex • Differentiating insecurity from internal anxiety • Strategy of acknowledging emotions without shaming • Wondering why a partner often mentions an ex • Dismissing humorous “exposure therapy” ideas • Past-reference context in blended families • Sudden jealousy sparks in long relationships • Jealousy isn’t the problem—behaviors are • Past betrayals and personality traits shaping jealousy • Acceptable to address repeated ex mentions calmly • Irrational jealousy about teenage events resurfacing • Watching old VHS tapes and feeling disconnected from past selves • Exploring why old incidents still sting • Jealousy sometimes signaling a need for reassurance • Limited dating histories magnifying past details • Young relationships evolving into adult ones • Encouragement to ask compassionate questions • Fear that discussing issues could “unravel” the relationship • Recurring infidelity dreams indicating insecurity • Question about when to show aggression publicly • Concern over being labeled a “Karen/Kyle” • Aggression rejected; assertiveness encouraged • Example of respectful assertiveness when correcting mistakes • Story of confronting a line-cutter who was blind • Story of confronting a smoker who was a little person • Risk of situations escalating or going viral • Critique of fight-for-honor culture • Mixed reactions to someone flirting with a spouse • Some wanting mild jealousy as proof of care • Jealousy not equal to love • Partners vary in territorial feelings • Email from a woman whose relationship began as a work affair • Agreement delaying introductions to his kids for two years becoming 15 • Missing major family events due to exclusion • Partner shutting down whenever it’s discussed • Kids possibly resenting the affair • Avoidance being harmful regardless of the kids’ stance • Distinguishing kid acceptance issues from partner communication issues • Avoidance giving short-term relief but long-term damage • Need for open talk about shame, loyalty, and exclusion • Theme of the therapist’s book: the cost of avoidance • Promotion of “The Cost of Quiet” and preorder bonuses • Promotion of the Dec. 3 “Pitch a Friend” event • Event format: three-minute friend pitches • Event is free or low cost • Previous events included all ages and red-flag/green-flag games • Listeners asking if Colette will attend Beer Fest • Confirmation she will be there • Invitation for listeners to meet her at the Beer Fest • Peanuts-style “advice 5¢” joke • Joke about giving advice for an email address • Colette excited to meet listeners at both events • Closing note that they’ll see listeners next week ### Social Media:
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LTN 8 - Cutoffs
11/13/2025
LTN 8 - Cutoffs
• Live launch of “A Corporate Time with Tom and Dan” on Twitch and YouTube • Promotion of free Bad at Business Beerfest (Nov 22) and Sofas and Suds couch races (Nov 23) in Sanford • Both events are free, family-friendly, and include unlimited beer samples for 21+ • “Weird Job Wednesday” debuts with guest Amy Kaufeldt from Fox 35 • Amy shares her childhood dream of spaceflight and how the Challenger disaster changed her goals • Found passion for writing, studied journalism at Miami University of Ohio • Early unpaid radio work at NPR station WMUB; enjoyed radio’s relaxed pace • Transitioned from radio to TV through NBC internships in Ohio; learned sales made more than on-air talent • Accepted first TV job in Great Falls, Montana, for $18K; learned budgeting and lived modestly • Covered Unabomber arrest as first major breaking story; called early years her “media boot camp” • Promoted to main anchor without a raise; typed scripts on typewriters and timed segments manually • Reflected that early grind built confidence and skill • Compared early technical work to today’s automation, saying new journalists miss foundational skills • Discussed handling online criticism and “keyboard warriors”; shared story of viewer apologizing for rude comment • Mentioned balance between robotic presentation and human connection on air • Described seven-hour Fox 35 morning show, expanding from three hours since 2003 • Detailed hurricane coverage shifts, lack of sleep quarters, and constant updates • Explained teleprompter focus and staying authentic during serious stories like Casey Anthony trial • Shared story connecting puppy born without a paw to a family with a limb difference; became therapy dog “Charlie Tri” • Reflected on community impact and importance of compassion in local news • Mentioned station renovation chaos—lost internet and live shots during broadcasts • Noted female anchors face appearance criticism; prefers prepping at home to stay ready • Described field reporting risks: danger, exhaustion, harassment • Noted pay disparities across markets; few anchors become wealthy • Discussed influencer hires and decline of passion-driven journalism • Praised for professionalism and longevity; jokes about “Love Thy Neighbor” six-second kiss • Interview with comedian George Wallace performing at Orlando Funny Bone with Amy LeCours opening • Wallace recalls 49-year career with Seinfeld, jokes about being his “kids’ father” • Talks shift from TV to social media comedy—“funny is still funny” • Emphasizes work ethic, travel life, and joy of live audiences • Promotes new show “Clean Slate,” jokes second show is funnier because he’s “naked” • Shares love for ice cream, weight-gain resolution, and “four L’s”—learning, listening, loving, laughing • Encourages Tom and Dan to try stand-up; signs off with “I love you, nothing you can do about it” • Hosts praise Wallace’s energy and liken him to a comedic Michael Jordan • Light talk on Wendy’s nostalgia—spicy chicken peak, “Biggie” brand loss, fast food decline • Notes Wendy’s sales down 5%, revenue $1.63B; reflects on inflation and quality drop • Misses dollar menus and quirky architecture like Alamo-style Taco Bells • Shifts to Rob Dyrdek discussion—critiques his self-help “wait list” marketing as cultish but disciplined • Notes grind addiction, unrealistic motivational tone, and monetized positivity • Compares Dyrdek to Tony Robbins; respect for his structure but dislike for gimmicks • Listener voicemail revives “white van speaker scam” story from 2000s • Dan recalls buying “Blue Rhino” speakers in college—real brand, not propane • Paid $110; they worked fine and lasted years • Debate whether scam is truly fraud or just markup resale • Reflection that working products made it feel like a fair deal • Closing thought: scams persist because “there’s always a chance” • Show wrap-up and sign-off ### Social Media:
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LTN 7 - The Online Dating Disconnect
11/06/2025
LTN 7 - The Online Dating Disconnect
• Launch of “Love Thy Neighbor” with Dan, Tom, and Colette Fehr • Banter about walking to Publix and Colette teasing Dan • Colette attends “Pitch a Friend” Orlando dating event and explains its PowerPoint pitch format • Discussion of dating app burnout, swipe fatigue, and loss of real connection • Colette’s “Red Flag or Green Flag” game and insights on in-person chemistry • Jokes about people falling for the presenter instead of the friend pitched • Commentary on gendered dating perceptions and differing timelines • Emphasis on body language, vibe, and physical chemistry over screens • Comparison of “vibes” vs. science in attraction • Event at Gravity Tap Room; next one Dec 3 at Primrose Lanes (famous hot dogs) • Shift to sex talk and how men/women view dating motives differently • Dan values connection; Tom admits physical attraction drives men • Discussion of laughter as intimacy and thrill of early dating • Colette notes women often prefer emotional intimacy before sex • Ghosting and casual culture seen as emotionally damaging • Online dating breeds cynicism and “disposable” mindset • Digital judgment linked to low self-esteem and loneliness • Women face harsher appearance scrutiny; men struggle to show vulnerability • Conversation on male emotional suppression and biology-driven desire • Dating apps enable convenience over effort, leading to isolation or incel behavior • Men mocked for liking marriage; hosts defend partnership and family life • “Good partner > happy single > toxic relationship” • Example of friend thriving after self-work without a partner • Humans need connection; quality bonds improve longevity • Concerns about AI/robots replacing real relationships • Listener email: advice seems to blame men • Colette clarifies relationships are co-created; both share responsibility • Discussion of pursuer–withdrawer dynamics and mental load imbalance • Tips: team mindset, clear asks, “I” statements, avoid tit-for-tat • Men urged to state needs constructively and set boundaries • Example: request chores or phone-free dinners for reconnection • Partners show love by attending unexciting events for each other • Many men feel blamed; communication must be mindful, not reactive • Colette offers free communication scripts on her site • Emotional awareness isn’t taught—requires effort and patience • Therapy reveals both partners need reflection and growth • Advice: express feelings without attacking or demanding change • Women often burn out from not feeling heard; checked-out partners rarely return • Most men prefer commitment once emotionally invested • Tom shares learning affection through small gestures like flowers • Upbringing made him reserved, but consistency built trust • Small daily acts strengthen connection over time • Colette praises Tom’s effort and suggests habit-stacking affection • Gentle touch meets emotional needs and prevents “starvation” • Humor about forced hugs and awkward affection • Affection styles differ; goal is balance, not perfection • Colette urges small, steady contact—hand-holding or brief hugs • Joke about withholding affection as “emotional terrorism” • Reminder: send questions to • Plug for Colette’s book The Cost of Quiet and upcoming audiobook • Light banter and wrap-up about audiobooks and reading ### **Social Media:** [Website](https://tomanddan.com/) | [Twitter](https://twitter.com/tomanddanlive) | [Facebook](https://facebook.com/amediocretime) | [Instagram](https://instagram.com/tomanddanlive) **Where to Find the Show:** [Apple Podcasts](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-mediocre-time/id334142682) | [Google Podcasts](https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2FtZWRpb2NyZXRpbWUvcG9kY2FzdC54bWw) | [TuneIn](https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Mediocre-Time-p364156/) **The Tom & Dan Radio Show on Real Radio 104.1:** [Apple Podcasts](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-corporate-time/id975258990) | [Google Podcasts](https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2Fjb3Jwb3JhdGV0aW1lL3BvZGNhc3QueG1s) | [TuneIn](https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Corporate-Time-p1038501/) **Exclusive Content:** [Join BDM](https://tomanddan.com/registration) **Merch:** [Shop Tom & Dan](https://tomanddan.myshopify.com/)
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LTN 6 - Colette VS Whatever
10/30/2025
LTN 6 - Colette VS Whatever
• “Love Thy Neighbor” with Dan, Tom, and therapist Colette • Colette’s California media tour for her book • Colette appears on the controversial “Whatever” podcast • “Whatever” framed as alpha/anti-woke male genre • Critique of toxic masculinity and “men under attack” tropes • Other shows mock/analyze these alpha podcasts • Past “Whatever” guests include Charlie Kirk, Candace Owens • Secretive taping: last-minute address, security, metal detector • Overloaded studio: 9–16 mics; strict mic rules enforced • Tom’s old-school gripe: too many open mics • OnlyFans model spotlighted; show leans on visual appeal • Colette cast as the feminist voice on the panel • Her therapist stance: note rare valid points, reject nonsense • Rage-baiting for clicks; deliberate provocation • Dan learned rage-bait radio with Ed Till; ethical doubts • Colette dragged for going on four dates in one day • Chivalry debate: who pays and for how long • Defense of casual “coffee dates” amid app fatigue • Host claims chivalry burdens men while demanding submission • Child-support and dating-expectations attacks on Colette • Narrative: young white men victimized and owed obedience • Popularity driven by true fans, not just hate-listeners • Red-pill framing; younger male pushback culture • “80% of women want 20% of men” stat challenged • “666” trope (six figures/feet/inches) reactions • Men’s anger tied to rejection vs personal responsibility • Politics baked in; red/blue pill props on set • Show prints money; Colette still gets online backlash • Preference for real help over grievance-weaponizing • Why the audience is large: loneliness and resentment • Claims denying wage gap/minimizing violence deemed absurd • Panel self-ratings; no “7” rule; some rate very low • Colette self-rates: 9 for her age; 6 vs 20-year-olds • ’90s shock-jock comparisons without the wit • Colette vs Alex Stein’s “confidence = sex bait” jab • Rebuttal: confidence from life experience, not sex hunting • Call-out of sexism tying older women’s value to desirability • Hosts profit from outrage and controversy • Howard Stern contrast: provocative yet self-aware/comedic • Red-pill appeal to disillusioned young men explained • Empathy for average men squeezed by online ideals • Men judged to be tall/rich/successful; women also objectified • Apps amplify superficiality, comparison, and loneliness • Both genders warped by algorithmic expectations • Real attraction grows via shared humor and real-world contact • Screen time erodes social skills and confidence • Many alpha hosts read as insecure/inexperienced • Brian Atlas cited as projecting frustration • Submissiveness/obedience rejected as outdated • If chivalry demands submission, decline it • Strong women valued; confident men welcome equals • Hosts’ wives as assertive, capable partners • Balance independence with care-taking; avoid dependency • Strong partners still want to feel cared for • Healthy dynamic = mutual giving and receiving • Is oppression of women ongoing? Colette: yes; others: no • Sex work: agency vs oppression debated • “Men must protect women” expectation questioned under equality • Traditional roles still shape modern instincts • Beliefs formed by societal conditioning and generation • Manners vs obligation: kindness without transaction • Some men now demand trades for gestures—criticized • Example: fake “submissive ex” video to sway viewers • Jealousy fueling resentment toward non-submissive partners • Submission vs genuine care distinguished • Acts should come from love, not hierarchy • Mutual care ≠ loss of voice; submission does • Colette jokes her husband might prefer more “traditional” • 1950s domestic role bit (slippers, whiskey, pipe) • Do men secretly want traditional again? Depends • Global and personal preferences vary widely • Respect for independent, confident women who lead • Relationships should rest on choice and mutual respect • Nostalgia for the 1950s called unrealistic, media-made • Real mid-century marriages weren’t TV fantasies • Grandfather’s orphanage/WWII story: hardship breeds empathy • Past resilience vs today’s victim mindsets in men’s movements • Relief that Colette’s appearance ended safely • Plug: The Cost of Quiet — preorder info • Contact: ColetteJaneFair.com; anonymous questions welcome • Like/subscribe; plan to tackle listener emails next episode ### **Where to Find the Show:** [Apple Podcasts](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-mediocre-time/id334142682) | [Google Podcasts](https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2FtZWRpb2NyZXRpbWUvcG9kY2FzdC54bWw) | [TuneIn](https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Mediocre-Time-p364156/) **Exclusive Content:** [Join BDM](https://tomanddan.com/registration) **Merch:** [Shop Tom & Dan](https://tomanddan.myshopify.com/)
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LTN 5 - Outdated Relationship Myths
10/23/2025
LTN 5 - Outdated Relationship Myths
• Introduction of “Love Thy Neighbor” with Colette Fehr • Discussion of recording schedule and Twitch/YouTube streams • Breakdown of seven relationship myths and modern realities • Myth 1: Compromise often means mutual loss—prioritize listening and connection • 69% of problems are unsolvable; focus on empathy, not victory • Use 1–10 scale to gauge partner priorities and set boundaries • Avoid people-pleasing; long-term avoidance kills authenticity • Myth 2: Open communication doesn’t mean oversharing—filter strong emotions • Clarity before honesty prevents resentment and defensiveness • Humor and tone matter when giving feedback • Myth 3: Small stuff matters—minor hurts build into resentment • Direct, quick talks prevent emotional weight from piling up • Most therapy deals with small misunderstandings, not huge fights • Learn forgiveness; most conflicts come from misread intentions • Practice kind assertiveness—voice needs calmly and clearly • Myth 4: Intimacy doesn’t fade—it evolves through vulnerability • Fear of rejection blocks sexual honesty; share fantasies openly • Timing and tone make difficult talks easier • Address libido issues with curiosity, therapy, and health focus • Recognize differing sexual rhythms and emotional needs • Maintaining novelty strengthens long-term desire • Myth 5: Chores or money don’t break couples—disconnection does • Appreciation and communication outweigh perfection • Myth 6: Speaking up isn’t conflict—it’s clarity • Myth 7: “Never go to bed angry” is false—cool off before resolving • Emotional regulation and rest improve repair conversations • Promotion of Fehr’s book *The Cost of Quiet* (colettejanefehr.com) • Invite listeners to email questions and subscribe for new episodes ### **Social Media:** [Website](https://tomanddan.com/) | [Twitter](https://twitter.com/tomanddanlive) | [Facebook](https://facebook.com/amediocretime) | [Instagram](https://instagram.com/tomanddanlive) **Where to Find the Show:** [Apple Podcasts](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-mediocre-time/id334142682) | [Google Podcasts](https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2FtZWRpb2NyZXRpbWUvcG9kY2FzdC54bWw) | [TuneIn](https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Mediocre-Time-p364156/) **The Tom & Dan Radio Show on Real Radio 104.1:** [Apple Podcasts](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-corporate-time/id975258990) | [Google Podcasts](https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2Fjb3Jwb3JhdGV0aW1lL3BvZGNhc3QueG1s) | [TuneIn](https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Corporate-Time-p1038501/) **Exclusive Content:** [Join BDM](https://tomanddan.com/registration) **Merch:** [Shop Tom & Dan](https://tomanddan.myshopify.com/)
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LTN 4 - Navigating Breakups
10/16/2025
LTN 4 - Navigating Breakups
• Introduction to Love Thy Neighbor and listener anonymity • Loveline-style approach to relationship advice • Divorce: emotional and financial toll, stigma, changing views • Hidden unhappiness in long marriages • Why people stay or leave relationships • Social media’s impact on love, breakups, and jealousy • Deleting or keeping exes online; regret after erasing memories • Emotional recovery and boundaries with new partners • Growth through heartbreak and dating experience • Generational differences before social media • Keeping memories for children and history • Insecurity and jealousy over old photos • Attraction to emotionally intense partners • Insecurity and trauma behind jealousy • Communicating reassurance and setting boundaries • Humor about following exes or staying friends • Men vs women in post-breakup friendships • Breakups mirror grief and addiction withdrawal • Brain pain overlap: love loss and physical pain • Need for no contact and “starving the attachment” • Misleading social media images of exes’ happiness • Healthy coping: self-focus, hobbies, support system • Negative coping: rebounds, substances, avoidance • All attachments heal with time and connection • Relationship addiction parallels substance abuse • Personal story: isolation from toxic partner • Learning from ignoring red flags, regret over choices • Should friends intervene in harmful relationships? • How to help: express care, respect, share concerns • Risks of judgment if couple reconciles • Listening over advice when friends struggle • Listener email: libido mismatch in marriage • Causes: stress, medication, trauma, poor communication • One-sided affection, avoidance of touch • Therapy access issues and long-term uncertainty • Common male-higher libido pattern • Start with honest talks about disconnection • Individual therapy helps but couples therapy better • Emotional reconnection boosts desire for many • Persistent mismatch may need other solutions • Women’s desire often lower with age; explore intimacy variety • “Ways to cuddle” beyond sex; rebuild comfort • Cuddling linked to relationship satisfaction • Barriers: heat, bedding, menopause • Clarify touch doesn’t always mean sex (“bristle effect”) • Importance of nonsexual affection and lowered pressure • Humor about nonsexual touch confusion • Hormonal shifts and HRT improving libido • Testosterone’s role in women’s sexual well-being • Emotional intimacy key to lasting sexual health • Aging couples sustaining passion and connection • “Body count” topic and shifting language • Jealousy over partner’s sexual past • Emotional maturity to separate past from present • Persistent double standards judging women • Younger generations less judgmental but stigma remains • Body count doesn’t define worth or morality • Value of openness and health transparency • Honest STI testing, responsible dating culture • Infidelity experience shaping caution and honesty • Debate over privacy vs full disclosure • Acceptance that many don’t know exact count • Reflection: honesty equals self-acceptance • Desire for unconditional love despite pasts • U.S. averages: women ~4–5, men ~6–7 partners • Surveys show exaggeration and underreporting • Cultural shame distorting sexual data • Past wild years unseen pre-social media • Misconceptions about others’ sexual activity • Promotion of Colette Fehr’s book The Cost of Quiet • Theme: tough talks build secure, lasting love • Reminder to email questions and subscribe ### **Social Media:** [Website](https://tomanddan.com/) | [Twitter](https://twitter.com/tomanddanlive) | [Facebook](https://facebook.com/amediocretime) | [Instagram](https://instagram.com/tomanddanlive) **Where to Find the Show:** [Apple Podcasts](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-mediocre-time/id334142682) | [Google Podcasts](https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2FtZWRpb2NyZXRpbWUvcG9kY2FzdC54bWw) | [TuneIn](https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Mediocre-Time-p364156/) **The Tom & Dan Radio Show on Real Radio 104.1:** [Apple Podcasts](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-corporate-time/id975258990) | [Google Podcasts](https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2Fjb3Jwb3JhdGV0aW1lL3BvZGNhc3QueG1s) | [TuneIn](https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Corporate-Time-p1038501/) **Exclusive Content:** [Join BDM](https://tomanddan.com/registration) **Merch:** [Shop Tom & Dan](https://tomanddan.myshopify.com/)
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LTN 3 - Accepting Jealousy Without Control
10/09/2025
LTN 3 - Accepting Jealousy Without Control
• Introduction of “Love Thy Neighbor” with therapist Colette Fehr • Welcome new listeners and mention high podcast ranking • Hosts called “teenage boys” for humor and immaturity • Men maintaining adolescent humor • Humor as coping mechanism and healthy outlet • Colette’s husband’s immature fraternity text thread • Male vs. female friendship communication • Women maturing faster than men • Relationship strain from maturity gaps • Midlife women feeling disconnected • “Six second kiss” relationship exercise • Dan performing kiss with his wife before daughter • Oxytocin and affection modeling for kids • Teaching children healthy relationship behavior • Transition to jealousy in relationships • Reddit story: man jealous of wife’s galas with rich colleague • Wife transparent, husband insecure • Managing jealousy through communication • Jealousy triggered by wealth and attraction • Husband allows outing with boundaries and tracking • Clarifying jealousy vs. envy • Jealousy as natural nervous-system response • Some view mild jealousy as caring • Distinction between jealousy and control • Trust and openness as antidotes • Example of coworker emotional boundary issue • Playful jealousy as reassurance • Jealousy not proof of love • Personality and trauma shape jealousy • Irrational jealousy from dreams or imagination • Dismissing partners as “crazy” worsens conflict • Therapy reframing jealousy • Men’s distrust of other men’s motives • Debate on male-female platonic friendship • Communicating boundaries early • Cheating history affecting trust • Accepting jealousy without control • Listener email about couples without shared language • Curiosity about cross-language relationships • Soldiers marrying foreign partners • Nonverbal connection through emotion • Fewer words simplifying communication • Arranged marriages lasting longer • Debate: compatibility vs. effort • Religious and cultural pressure to stay married • Idea of renewing marriage licenses every five years • Humor about forgetting to renew • Renewal promoting effort and reflection • Native American flexible marriage traditions • Balancing commitment with self-respect • Therapy helping decisions to stay or leave • More men entering therapy • Workplace friendships and power dynamics • Ethical issues in boss-employee relationships • Difficulty setting workplace boundaries • Hard to assert yourself to a boss • Toxic workplace mirroring romantic issues • Balancing kindness and accountability • Discomfort addressing workplace problems • Need for professionalism and emotional awareness • Tracy’s Halloween gift baskets as light humor • Emotion and business intertwined • Aggressive vs. empathetic attorney marketing • Personality differences shaping response • Colette’s “Insights from the Couch” podcast • Upcoming book The Cost of Quiet • Contact through LoveThyNeighborShow.com and voicemail • Closing remarks and tease for next episode ### **Social Media:** [Website](https://tomanddan.com/) | [Twitter](https://twitter.com/tomanddanlive) | [Facebook](https://facebook.com/amediocretime) | [Instagram](https://instagram.com/tomanddanlive) **Where to Find the Show:** [Apple Podcasts](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-mediocre-time/id334142682) | [Google Podcasts](https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2FtZWRpb2NyZXRpbWUvcG9kY2FzdC54bWw) | [TuneIn](https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Mediocre-Time-p364156/) **The Tom & Dan Radio Show on Real Radio 104.1:** [Apple Podcasts](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-corporate-time/id975258990) | [Google Podcasts](https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2Fjb3Jwb3JhdGV0aW1lL3BvZGNhc3QueG1s) | [TuneIn](https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Corporate-Time-p1038501/) **Exclusive Content:** [Join BDM](https://tomanddan.com/registration) **Merch:** [Shop Tom & Dan](https://tomanddan.myshopify.com/)
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LTN 2 - No Perfect Relationships?
10/02/2025
LTN 2 - No Perfect Relationships?
• Introduction of Love Thy Neighbor as a relationship-focused show with hosts Colette Fehr, Daniel Dennis, Tom Vann • Early success: ranked #141 worldwide in relationship podcasts, airing on Real Radio 104.1 with affiliate expansion plans • Key truth: no perfect relationships; flaws, wounds, unrealistic ideals exist • Every relationship can improve, though not all marriages; toxic or abusive ones should end • Examples of divorced couples maintaining healthy or even friendly ties, often for children’s sake • Self-reflection and personal responsibility as crucial for improvement • Awkwardness of exes with new partners, but maturity can turn it positive • Emotional extremes in love and hate, managing reactions with tools like the 90-second rule • Celebrity focus: Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban divorce after 19 years • Backlash unfairly blaming Nicole’s career; double standards in divorce narratives • Challenges of Hollywood marriages: distance, infidelity risk, media pressure • Justin and Hailey Bieber facing false divorce rumors shows impact of speculation • Concept of "divorce contagion" where breakups unsettle others’ relationships • Public scrutiny of celebrity infidelity vs ordinary people’s limited chances • Infidelity trends shifting, more women involved; workplace common site for affairs • Listener voicemail: wife worries about retiring early, depending on husband’s income • Concerns about medical costs, loss of independence, fear of resentment • Hosts stress clarifying husband’s real feelings, suggest passion projects or part-time work • Therapy may help adjust mindset; alimony offers safety if divorce occurs • Discussion of mental load in relationships beyond chores • Homework: six-second kiss felt awkward but builds intimacy and bonding • Therapy insights: most problems unsolvable, focus on how couples handle them • Self-work over blaming partner; shaming is counterproductive • Promotion of Colette’s book The Cost of Quiet, releasing on her 52nd birthday, pre-order online • Colette’s podcast Insights from the Couch covers midlife issues with guests like Dr. Nadine Macaluso • Encouragement for listeners to leave reviews and ratings • Invitation for audience questions via email or T&D app voicemail • Reminder: more content available on A Mediocre Time with Tom and Dan ### **Social Media:** [Website](https://tomanddan.com/) | [Twitter](https://twitter.com/tomanddanlive) | [Facebook](https://facebook.com/amediocretime) | [Instagram](https://instagram.com/tomanddanlive) **Where to Find the Show:** [Apple Podcasts](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-mediocre-time/id334142682) | [Google Podcasts](https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2FtZWRpb2NyZXRpbWUvcG9kY2FzdC54bWw) | [TuneIn](https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Mediocre-Time-p364156/) **The Tom & Dan Radio Show on Real Radio 104.1:** [Apple Podcasts](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-corporate-time/id975258990) | [Google Podcasts](https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2Fjb3Jwb3JhdGV0aW1lL3BvZGNhc3QueG1s) | [TuneIn](https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Corporate-Time-p1038501/) **Exclusive Content:** [Join BDM](https://tomanddan.com/registration) **Merch:** [Shop Tom & Dan](https://tomanddan.myshopify.com/)
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LTN 1 - Why Couples Stop Talking!
09/26/2025
LTN 1 - Why Couples Stop Talking!
• Launch of “Love Thy Neighbor” with therapist Colette Fehr • Colette’s TEDx talk on relationships (April 3) and 13 years of experience • Her first marriage as “surface perfection” (family, labs, SUVs, picket fence) but emotionally empty • Husband’s disengagement, loneliness, and realization of controllable vs. uncontrollable factors • Conflict avoidance as central issue; fear of arguments; lack of modeled healthy resolution at home • Growing up in “suffer in silence” or emotionally closed households • Comfort discussing with colleagues vs. difficulty with spouses due to higher stakes • Acting despite fear as her first principle; few families openly model conflict • Breaking intergenerational anger patterns and temper issues • Avoidance behaviors and male fear of losing intimacy after anger • Band-Aid analogy: ignoring wounds vs. addressing issues • Male tendency to equate sex with connection; women needing connection before sex • Misinterpretations fueling breakdowns; frustration over vague requests • Desire for clear, task-oriented path to intimacy; comparison to instructional videos • Wizard of Oz ruby slippers metaphor: solutions are within • Conflict as surprising but powerful way to connect • Sharing fears builds closeness; vulnerability as risky but vital • Reframing conflict talk as “magic trick” for connection • Emotions as signals: sadness = loss, anger = need for change • Facing conflict repeatedly reduces fear; positive reinforcement when met with care • Disconnection signs: neglecting kisses goodnight, passing interactions, deprioritizing spouse • Long-married regret at silence; lighthouse metaphor for ignored warnings • Connection misunderstood until laughter or joy appears, but disconnection returns easily • Emotional vs. logical partner dynamics; “double Tom” (logic) vs. “double Dan” (emotion) struggles • Pursuer–withdrawer pattern: one chases, one retreats; substances as withdrawal metaphor • Therapy works within temperament, not personality change • Joking, dismissing, or passive-aggression block openness • Three key skills: act despite fear, be vulnerable, be assertive • Assertiveness ≠ aggression; contrast with passive and passive-aggressive styles • Humor as defense derailing intimacy; discomfort as barrier to openness • Feeling “seen and heard” as core unit of connection • Vulnerable moments often cut short when intensity feels overwhelming • Date nights valuable only if genuine, not superficial • Show up like first date: engaged, curious, listening, no phones • Curiosity fades over time; partners must ask deeper, specific, open-ended questions • Parenting tips (like “new dad” texts) adapted for spouse conversations • Starter prompts when partner seems uninteresting (“what’s on your mind?”) • Pretend partner is fascinating to rekindle interest • Overcoming sense new habits are fake; effort itself is authenticity • “I love you but not in love” cliché explained by loss of limerence vs. deeper fear • Limerence as neurochemical high (6–36 months); sustaining love requires practice • Social media myths fuel distorted comparisons • Homework: two 6-second kisses and one 20-second hug daily to boost bonding chemistry • Add 10–20 minutes of cuddling; touch prevents “roommate mode” • Non-sexual affection as glue; even robotic rituals build bonding chemistry • Skin-to-skin like newborn bonding; daily 20 minutes of touch and conversation • Sit together without phones; acknowledge awkwardness; talk authentically • Reminder: people often ask strangers more questions than spouses • Phones as top relationship killer • Promotion of Colette Fehr’s upcoming book The Cost of Quiet (Feb 3 release) expanding on TEDx talk Secrets of a Couple’s Therapist • Plan to revisit homework and connection progress in next episode • Wrap-up of first “Love Thy Neighbor” and preview of future topics ### **Social Media:** [Website](https://tomanddan.com/) | [Twitter](https://twitter.com/tomanddanlive) | [Facebook](https://facebook.com/amediocretime) | [Instagram](https://instagram.com/tomanddanlive) **Where to Find the Show:** [Apple Podcasts](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-mediocre-time/id334142682) | [Google Podcasts](https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2FtZWRpb2NyZXRpbWUvcG9kY2FzdC54bWw) | [TuneIn](https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Mediocre-Time-p364156/) **The Tom & Dan Radio Show on Real Radio 104.1:** [Apple Podcasts](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-corporate-time/id975258990) | [Google Podcasts](https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2Fjb3Jwb3JhdGV0aW1lL3BvZGNhc3QueG1s) | [TuneIn](https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Corporate-Time-p1038501/) **Exclusive Content:** [Join BDM](https://tomanddan.com/registration) **Merch:** [Shop Tom & Dan](https://tomanddan.myshopify.com/)
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LTN Show - Intro
09/21/2025
LTN Show - Intro
Love Thy Neighbor is a straight-talk relationship show from Tom Vann, Dan Dennis, and licensed therapist Colette J. Fehr - born the day Colette knocked on their door and they realized they were literal next-door neighbors. Together they bring 50 years of broadcasting (Dan 30, Tom 20) and 15 years of clinical counseling (Colette), plus real-life reps: Tom’s 20-year marriage, Dan’s 15-year marriage, and Colette’s second, thriving chapter. Expect humor, empathy, and practical advice from both sides of the wall. New episodes every Thursday, wherever you get your podcasts.
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